


Climbing The Walls

by HazAndNi



Series: Happily Ever After [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 100,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazAndNi/pseuds/HazAndNi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall and Stella's friendship blossoms after a chance meeting through a mutual friend. Will tragedy bring them together? Or will jealousy tear them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Somebody To Love

Nialls POV  
Never in my life had I seen a girl like her. She was tall, blonde, thin with an athletic build and long toned legs. A dancer perhaps. That would explain her abundance of grace. In fact, everything she did looked like a dance. When she moved it was so fluid. I wanted to know her. Scratch that, I needed to know her. She was sheer perfection, even if I didn't know her name.   
Zayn knew her. I'm not quite sure how, but I know that every time we came into this stupid store and she was standing there, hanging clothes on a rack or fixing hat displays, she would smile at him and wave.  
“Hey Z!” she would always chirp happily at the sight of him. It made me want to punch his stupid face. I know what you're probably thinking, why am I so jealous of Zayn when I know he has a girlfriend and I know that it's not her. It's because I KNOW I’m not as good looking as he is. Yeah, I know I’m adorable, trust me I get that all the time. I'm innocent and romantic and so sweet and such a gentleman and blah blah blah fucking blah. But I'm not HOT like the other boys. They all have something that makes the girls go fucking wild.   
Harry's got that whole, charming, green eyes, dirty boy thing going on. Girls love him because he's been around the block a few times, and even though that should gross them out, those stupid green eyes of his always make them melt. Fuck him.   
For Louis, it's the funny guy thing. He may be the oldest, but he's such a prankster. Girls always love a guy who can make them laugh and show them a good time. Bastard.  
Zayn's just mysterious, all quiet and brooding bad boy. That asshole. Just one look from his smoldering eyes and the girls are putty in his hands.   
With Liam, it's the maturity thing. He's smart and focused. Girls want a boy who's on their level maturity wise. Plus he's got great abs and is easy on the eyes. Fucking dick.   
And then there's me. Just Niall. Nothing special. I've got nothing on them. Which is why I find myself staring at her longingly from a distance every time we come here, too shy to say anything and too stupid to make a move. It's absolute torture. And probably the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. And it happens all the mother fucking time.   
Today was no different than yesterday or the day before. Zayn, Liam, Danielle and I walked in to Rags, the vintage clothes store that she works at, and I went straight for the hat rack, my usual spot, to watch her as she worked. Yeah, so maybe it WAS a little creepy, but it never really seemed to bother her. In fact, I’m not entirely sure she even noticed me. No one else ever did.   
“You know, mate, you should really just go talk to her.” Zayn snickered behind me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. I don't really need this right now. He's constantly trying to push me to talk to girls. Doesn't he understand that girls aren't interested in me? I'm always in the friend zone with them. How could I not be. I mean, the list of Crappy Niall Qualities definitely outweighs the list of Awesome Niall Qualities. For instance, I have these ridiculous braces. Now, considering the alternative (i.e. my crooked teeth) I really shouldn't be complaining, but they make me look like a damn 14 year old. Add to that the fact that my hair NEVER wants to cooperate with me. I swear it's got a mind of it's own sometimes. I have this really obnoxious habit of laughing at inappropriate times too, like when someone dies or Liam is trying to be serious. I also swear A LOT. At concerts, in interviews, while watching TV, at football matches, in my sleep. All. The. Time. It drives my mum and Harry absolutely mad, but I just can't help it. Oh yeah and then there's the whole virgin thing. Not that I regret that. In fact, I actually really like that about myself. I know that I don't want to give myself to just any girl like Harry does. And the guys NEVER make me feel weird or stupid or anything about it. It's just that, the last time I actually did have a relationship with a girl, it ended because of that.   
“You know, Zayn, you should really just fuck off.” I snapped. I'd watched their little exchange a minute ago. He had sauntered over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. She had laughed and patted his hair. I wasn't impressed.  
“Whoa whoa, just trying to help Niall. You don't have to get so bloody defensive about it.” he said, backing away from me cautiously. OK now I felt a little bad. But only a little. “I could always talk to her for you, ya know. She is a friend. And I think you're her type.” My ears perked up at his words, but I could hardly take him seriously. Me? Her type? Not a chance in hell. She looked like a goddess in her loosely fitting white v-neck, cut off shorts, and black chuck taylors, her long blonde beachy waves hanging down to the middle of her back. What would she ever seen in sloppy, shy, dorky old me.  
“How do you even know her. She's American isn't she? When would you have ever met?” I asked him curiously.   
“Her families from Bradford. Her grandparents live next door to my parents. She used to come visit every summer when we were kids. I've known her for years.” he explained. I just nodded. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have Zayn go talk me up. I mean after all, he does have a girlfriend. He and Perrie have gotten so serious lately and he's already told me he thinks she's the one.   
“You know Zayn, I just might take you up on that offer.” I told him happily. I really wanted to get to know her. And hey, maybe Zayn was right. Maybe I am her type. Maybe she has terrible taste in guys. He winked at me and walked over to her. I held my breath and PRAYED that I wouldn't die on the spot. Here goes nothing.

Stella's POV  
“Hey Stell!” Zayn called out behind me. I really didn't want to turn around. Blondie has been staring at me ever since they all walked in, like he always does and I know that if I look in to those perfect blue eyes, I’ll go absolutely insane. So I don't turn at all. I just continue folding t-shirts, trying to distract myself from the perfect man across the room.  
“Yeah Zayn?” I ask over my shoulder.  
“Look, I don't know if you noticed my friend over there....” he started. My heart literally feels like it's going to beat out of my chest at the mention of him. I try hard to calm myself but end up interrupting and embarrassing the absolute shit out of myself.  
“Cute, blonde, and Irish with the dreamy blue eyes?” I say, rather loudly. Nice one Stella. Hopefully Irish didn't hear that. Thank god it was Zayn I was talking to. “It's kind of hard not to notice when he's eyes are burning holes into my body Z.” I added, trying to sound a little bit more collected.  
“Yeah that's the one. Well listen Stella, you should come hang out with us after your shift. Perrie hasn't seen you in forever and you've never met the guys or anything. Plus Niall over there really wants to get to know you better.” He said softly. I sighed. I was honestly tired and I hadn't slept in about 48 hours. But the prospect of getting to hear that accent....... Well needless to say I agreed without any hesitation. “Excellent. What time are you out?”  
“9.” I sighed again.  
“Want me to come pick you up then?” He asked. I nodded. He smiled happily at me before saying, rather loudly, “Great. I'll see you later. We should probably get out of here before you make Niall blow his lo.....”  
“ZAYN LET'S GO!” Niall shouted, cutting Zayn off mid sentence. The blush on his cheeks made my heart absolutely melt. I shot him a shy smile.  
“Yeah I’ll see you guys later.” I added as they walked out the door, Niall dragging Zayn roughly by his arm and cursing at him. So this was really going to happen? I was going to spend time with this kid. He had been coming into Rags for months with Zayn and their other friends and had always watched me. I know I should have probably been creeped out by it, but I actually thought it was quite adorable. I always wished he would come talk to me though, but he never did. He wasn't my usual type. Actually, Zayn was more my type than Niall, all bad ass and mysterious, but Zayn was like my nerdy brother. I'd known him for so long and had never gotten those sorts of feelings about him. But I usually did date guys like him. And it usually ended badly. So that first day that Niall walked in, looking all innocent and adorable and nothing like any boy I couldn’t help but be instantly smitten with those damn blue eyes that couldn't stop watching me. I spent the whole rest of the night thinking about him. What the hell Stella! I'm never like this. I don't swoon over boys I don't know. UGH! It was so frustrating.   
“Stell are you alright?” My coworker Jessica asked me from the cash register as we were closing up. I sighed, something I seemed to be doing a lot of today.  
“Yeah I'm just thinking Jess.” I told her.  
“Does this have anything to do with that cute blonde boy that your friend always brings in here? The one who stares?” She asked with a wink. I rolled my eyes at her. Jess had been teasing me about him mercilessly for weeks. I was nervous enough without her bringing it up AGAIN.  
“Look Jess can we not talk about it? I'm already freaking out inside.” I snapped. She held up her hands and backed away from me.  
“Whoa Stella. No need to get defensive. Look if you want to head out a little early I can finish up. You should have a smoke, you know relax a little bit before hand.” she winked again. I really couldn't be mad at her for that could I?   
“Thanks Jess.” I said as I pulled my new pack of cigarettes out of my back pocket. She followed me to the door to lock it behind me.  
“Good luck babe. Text me.” she smirked and shut the door. I lit my cigarette and puffed on it slowly while I pulled my iPhone out of my back pocket to check the time. 8:45. Fifteen minutes was not enough time to compose myself, that's for sure. I tried to slow my racing heart. I don't know why I was so freaking nervous. It's not like we were going to be alone together. It's not like he had even talked to me. Maybe he doesn't even like me. Maybe he just thinks I’m really weird and that's why he always stares at me. Yeah that has to be it. I rarely have boys hanging on my every word. That's always Jess. She's the gorgeous one between the two of us. Curvy, tall, with chocolaty brown hair and eyes to match. She was a model, only working at Rags for the extra cash between modeling jobs. Whenever we went out the boys surrounded her like a piece of freaking meat and I just stood there feeling awkward. I don't even really know how her and I ever became friends. She's definitely one of those girls who dresses to impress and has to be the center of attention. She always looked airbrushed. I always looked strange. We couldn't be any more opposite, but for some reason we just worked. She was my absolute best friend in the world, well besides Zayn.   
I took another drag from my cigarette as a shiny, seemingly new black Camero with white racing stripes, pulled up in front of me. Zayn got out of the passenger side and Niall, gorgeous, perfect Niall, got out of the drivers side.  
“Hey Stella Bella!” Zayn said to me, wrapping me up in a hug as his girlfriend Perrie stepped out of one of the back doors.   
“Stell! Oh my god I've missed you so much!” She squealed at me. I hugged her back as Zayn lit a cigarette of his own and puffed on it.  
“I thought you were trying to quit that shit, Z?” I asked him jokingly.  
“I thought you were too.” he responded with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and turned slightly so that I could see Niall, standing awkwardly next to him.  
“Niall, this is Stella. Stella, Niall.” Zayn introduced us. A blush crept up on his cheeks as he whispered a greeting.  
“Hey it's really nice to meet you.” I said with a smile. His face grew even more red and I’m sure by that point mine was about the same shade. I stubbed out my cigarette at the same time as Zayn. Damn that boy smoked fast.  
“Well we should get going. Harry's already texted me six times to tell us to hurry up, the impatient little fucker.” Niall said. The fact that he had just spoken would have surprised me had I not been completely mesmerized by his perfect Irish accent floating into my ears.   
“Christ that kid I swear.” Zayn laughed shaking his head. “Stell why don't you sit up front with Nialler?” He added, pushing me towards the passenger door. Niall stepped in front of us and opened the door for me nervously. I bit my lip, something I did quite often. I probably shouldn't have done it, it seemed to really bother him when I did, but I just couldn't help it.   
“Thanks.” I said with a shaky voice as I slid into the car. It was so cold outside, but the inside of his car was quite comfortable. Everyone else got in as well and Niall started it up again. Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber came blasting out at us from the speakers and I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye. His face was bright red again.  
“Sorry, I’ll change it.” he said, reaching up to his a button on the radio.  
“Oh don't I really like this song.” I told him boldly. Whoa Stella, where did that confidence come from. Instead of changing the song, he started it over, as it was almost half over, and turned it up before he pulled his hand back and placed it on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly and keeping his eyes on the road. I couldn't help but notice the small smile playing at the corners of his lips. Zayn groaned.  
“NOT THE BEIBS!” he shouted over the booming radio. I just giggled. Halfway through the first verse I noticed Niall had started singing. His voice was soft, I almost couldn't hear it over the radio, but it was so angelic it made the butterflies in my stomach go absolutely insane. I just watched him the whole time, hypnotized. He really was perfect. His hair was messy but in a really adorable, just rolled out of bed Hollister model way. He wore a tight red polo and tan pants. His eyes looked tired. Maybe he had just rolled out of bed? That was a thought now wasn't it. Cute blonde Niall waking up with his sexy bedhead, stretching his shirtless, muscular body and hey maybe he slept in nothing but boxer briefs and..... holy shit Stella stop stop stop. Don't think about him in bed, I scolded myself. I still sat there staring at him when he turned his head in my direction. Oh. Shit.

Niall's POV  
I could feel her eyes on me. Was she impressed with me? Did she think I was cute? Or was she seriously so disgusted with me that she just couldn't look away? It was driving me absolutely mad. I tried so hard to ignore it, which worked for a whole since I needed to concentrate on where I was driving, but once we were stopped at a stoplight, I felt my head turn instinctively to toward the eyes that were burning holes into my body. She looked away quickly, and I could see a shy smile settle itself onto her face. So maybe she did think I was cute. I'm sure that would change once we got to the beach and she met Harry, although I hoped it wouldn't. She gazed out the window, playing with her fingers in her lap. I just couldn't take my eyes off of her.   
“Nialler! Hello earth to Niall! The light's just changed you know. You should probably hit the gas. I'm sure the people honking behind us have important places to be.” Zayn called out, breaking into my thoughts. I shook my head and turned my eyes back to the road, pressing the gas as I heard a loud smack coming from my back seat. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I saw Zayn rubbing the back of his head and Perrie glaring at him.   
Well that was thoroughly embarrassing. Why in gods name did Zayn have to say that. It was now obvious that I had been staring at her and she probably thought I was some kind of freak or something. I was mentally beating myself up over it before I remembered that just a minute ago, I had caught her doing the same thing to me, and then I didn't feel so stupid.


	2. Ghost

Niall's POV  
We pulled up to the beach about 10 minutes later, all of us pulling off our shoes and socks and leaving them in the car. The boys and I had all decided that, after a long two weeks of recording, concerts and interviews, we really needed to blow off some steam. We had spent two hours kicking around ideas before I suggested having a bonfire. I couldn't help but be a little proud of my brilliant idea. Usually Louis is the one coming up with fun things for us to do. But this time it was all me. We had decided to keep it small though, just the five of us, Liam's girlfriend Danielle, Louis' girlfriend Eleanor, Zayn's girlfriend Perrie and Stella. Harry had said that he might bring someone, but he was already there and I didn't see anyone I didn't know. Dammit. We had brought Liam's iHome, which looked like an old school boombox, and I had made a party play list. We also had massive amounts of alcohol and food, but I wasn't really hungry. Yeah that's right, I, Niall James Horan, was NOT hungry. I was too nervous to eat. I walked over to the iHome and plugged in my iPhone, selecting the play list and turning it up, just loud enough for us all to hear but not too loud so that we could also talk and hang out. The fire was already raging when we got there and it looked as if the boys had found some giant logs for us to us as benches. There were five of them circled around the fire and they were all just big enough to fit two, maybe three people on. It looked pretty awesome, I had to admit.   
“Hey Nialler!” Harry calls over to me from a log across the fire as “I Like It Like That” by Hot Chelle Rae starts playing.   
“Hey Haz!” I call back. I noticed someone sitting next to him, someone I hadn't seen a few minutes ago. But it wasn't a girl, like I thought it would be. It was Josh our drummer. And they were sitting particularly close to each other. I might have to ask him about that one later. I walked around the fire, saying hey to the other boys and their girlfriends before grabbing a beer and plopping myself down on an empty log, turning my eyes to watch as Zayn introduced Stella to everyone. She looked nervous, biting her lip and giving everyone shy awkward smiles. I wished she would stop biting her lip like that. It was really starting to get to me. Like really turning me on. I took a long sip of my beer, trying to distract myself from her adorable face and smoking hot body, but had no such luck.  
“Um can I..... uh, can I sit here?” Fuck. It was HER. And she was talking to ME. 'What do I do? OK calm down Niall. She's just a girl. You can do this. You've talked to plenty of girls before, this shouldn't really be that hard. Just open your mouth and use your big boy words.' I told myself.   
“Yeah.” I croaked out. Smooth, Niall. Real smooth. She sat down next to me, close enough for me to smell her hair. Lavender and vanilla. Holy shit did it smell amazing. I kept my eyes on the raging fire and she did the same. “Are you... Um, do you want a drink or something?” I asked her, watching her out of the corner of my eye. She nodded.  
“Sure.” She said simply. I reached over for the cooler, conveniently sitting right next to me and pulled out a beer. I looked down at the bottle to see what it was. Stella. How ironic. I chuckled a little bit and she turned to smile at me, confused.   
“I swear I didn't do this on purpose.” I laughed as I showed her the bottle. She read it and laughed too. I pulled my bottle opener out of my pocket and opened it for her, handing it to her carefully so as not to spill it. She took a sip and then turned back to me smiling.   
“So do you like being in a band?” she asked me. Small talk. OK I can do this.  
“Yeah. It's great. I love it.” I nodded, taking another swig of beer. Her fingernails dug at the label on her bottle nervously as she bit her lip again.   
“Zayn said you play guitar.” It wasn't a question but I answered it anyways.  
“Yeah since I was a kid.”   
“I've been playing since I was 7.” She told me. I smiled down at my shoes. I'd never really met a gorgeous girl who played guitar like I did and I found it extremely adorable. I had to resist the urge to pull her into my arms and kiss her in front of everyone. That was all I could think about. “Anyways. He said you were really good. I'd love to hear you play sometime.”   
“I brought my guitar with me. I'll go grab it out of the car if you really want to.” I told her. She smiled at me again and my heart skipped a beat. I hopped off the log and bolted to the car and grabbed it out of the trunk with a confidence I didn't know I possessed. A confidence that quickly dissipated as I walked back towards her, carrying it in my sweaty hands. What if she thought I was terrible. I'd never played for a girl before. I mean obviously I’ve played for fans. And most of our fans are girls. But I’ve never played it for a girl that I actually was trying to impress. I guess that's because I don't try to impress girls very often. I was way out of my element. I tried hard to regain that confidence, or at least fake it. As I got closer to her, Zayn caught my arm.  
“You got this mate. She's pretty into you, I can tell” He whispered. He had obviously been able to sense my discomfort. My confidence shot through the roof at his words. I sat back down next to her, resting the guitar on my knees and taking a second to think of what I wanted to play.   
“Hey Li! Turn of the stereo. Niall's gonna play us a song!” Louis called out and Liam did as he was told. My nerves shot up again but I chose to ignore them. I started strumming the song, keeping my eyes on my shaky hands. I decided to play Ghost by Parachute. It was a song that I had started to relate to a lot since the day I had first seen her, but I hoped that she wouldn't think it was creepy.

Look behind you, avoid the shadows  
Watch your back now, make your breathing shallow  
Keep your room locked and leave the blinds closed  
I'm right there staring at your window

and all I need is you  
And all I need is you

I'm in the background on the radio  
I'm in your car, in your house, waiting at your door  
Under your footsteps, I'm everything you know  
Just let me haunt, let me haunt, let me be your ghost

You had your chance love, you tried to stay strong  
You tried to let go, tell yourself you moved on  
But then it comes back  
That feeling in your bones, like I’m right there

and all I need is you  
And all I need is you

I'm in the background on the radio  
I'm in your car, in your house, waiting at your door  
Under your footsteps, I'm everything you know  
Just let me haunt, let me haunt, let me be your ghost

I'm in the background on the radio  
I'm in your car, in your house, waiting at your door  
Under your footsteps, I'm everything you know  
Just let me haunt, let me haunt, let me be your ghost

Everyone clapped and cheered. I looked up into Stella's eyes, something I had avoided the whole time I was playing. She just smiled at me. I set the guitar down beside me. When I looked up, I noticed she was sitting just a little bit closer to me, her arm brushing up against mine. I'm glad I hadn't scared her away. Honestly I don't know what I had been thinking singing that crazy song. Ugh I could have just ruined any chance I had with her. Did I have a chance with her? She had moved closer. Hell she had WANTED to sit next to me. She could have easily sat over with Zayn and Perrie, although they were kind of devouring each others faces at the moment so that probably wouldn't have been a good idea. But she still could have sat somewhere else. And I kept catching her staring at me. So maybe she did like me.....

Stella's POV  
I intentionally moved closer to him after he finished playing. I just couldn't help it. He played like a dream and his voice was amazing. If I had been standing, he would have made my knees week.   
“I really love that song.” I said softly to him. His eyes lit up when I said it. “You're better than Zayn described.” A light blush flooded his pale cheeks.  
“Thanks. I just learned it a few days ago.” His voice was shaky as he responded. I couldn't help but stare down at his pink lips, wanting desperately for him to lean over and kiss me with them. I took a sip from my beer. I needed something to keep my mouth busy or I would kiss him myself and then he would think I was nuts. I mean we'd barely had a conversation with each other. What kind of crazy freak would I look like if I just kissed him in front of all of his friends when I’d only properly met him an hour ago. “Hey do you, uh, want to maybe play? I mean it's only fair.” He said, breaking into my thoughts. He laughed at himself quietly like he had just made a joke. Was he as nervous as I was? I nodded and he picked the guitar back up, placing it into my own lap.  
“Um, OK so I don't really sing. This may not be that good.” I told him nervously. I was glad that that Liam boy had turned the radio back on. I didn't really need all of them hearing how awful my voice was. Although, I had no idea why I was OK with Niall hearing me sing. It was incredibly embarrassing. He would probably think I was stupid or something. I started strumming the guitar, already knowing what song I wanted to play. It was a favorite of mine, Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift. 

You said the way my blue eyes shined  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said that's a lie  
Just a boy in a Chevy truck  
That had a tendency of getting stuck  
On back roads at night  
And I was right there beside him  
All summer long  
And then the time we woke up to find   
That summer'd gone

But when you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think my favorite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think of me

September saw a month of tears  
And thanking God that you weren't here  
To see me like that  
But in a box beneath my bed  
Is a letter that you never read  
From three summers back  
It's hard not to find it all  
A little bittersweet  
And looking back on all of that   
It's nice to believe

when you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think my favorite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think of me

And I’m back for the first time since then  
I’m standing on your street  
and there's a letter left on your doorstep  
and the first thing that you'll read

Is when you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think my favorite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think of me

You said the way my blue eyes shined  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said that's a lie

I looked up at him to find his mouth hanging open in surprise.  
“It was bad wasn't it. I told you I’m not really a singer.” I said softly. I was so embarrassed. I never sing in front of people. It's just something I like to do for myself. So sitting there with Niall and opening myself up like that, it was unnerving and I felt more vulnerable than I had in a while. He stared at me for just a little bit longer before finally shutting his mouth and shaking his head slightly.  
“That was incredible. You're voice is amazing. Honest.” he told me. I turned away, a blush creeping up onto my cheeks again, and set the guitar back down. This boy had no idea what he was doing to me. The butterflies in my stomach went wild every time he opened his mouth to speak and he had the most adorable laugh I’d ever heard. Every time I heard it all I could think about was doing anything in my power to hear it again.   
“So, Zayn told me you're family is from Bradford, but you grew up in Chicago. What brought you to London?” He asked me shyly. I turned my eyes to face the fire in front of us, tearing up a little bit. Breathing in deeply, I prepared to reply. I hadn't been in London long and the reasons behind my move were tragic. I hadn't told anyone why I moved. Even Zayn didn't know, and I told him everything.  
“It's a really long story. I don't really want to bore you with it.” I sighed. Hoping he wouldn't push it. He lifted his arm, gazing down at the black watch that hung around his wrist and then looked up at me with an adorable lopsided grin.  
“Looks like I’ve got time.”


	3. Heart Skips A Beat

Niall's POV  
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked her about why she moved, but I really did want to get to know her. She let out a long sigh at my response and stood up quickly. 'Wow great job Ni, Just piss off the hot girl,' I thought to myself. I honestly thought that I blew it. But to my complete surprise, she reached her hand out to help me up.   
“I'd rather not talk about it with all these people around.” She said. There was a sad look in her big green eyes that made me want to wrap my arms around her and kiss the pain away. But I couldn't do that. That would be crazy. So I settled for taking her hand and letting her pull me to my feet. We headed a little ways down the beach, walking close enough to the water that the waves crashed over our feet. I looked down at our hands, still clasped together and smiled.   
“So what's you're story, morning glory?” The words slipped out of my lips before I had a chance to fully think them through. Not my best line ever, but she started to laugh anyway. I couldn't tell if it was genuine, if she was just being nice, or if she really thought I was an idiot.  
“Um, well, I moved out here full time a few months ago I guess. After I graduated high school my parents moved out here but I stayed in Chicago for University. But then my mom got really sick so I moved out here to be close to her.” She told me as her laughing died down. My eyes found hers again and I noticed the sadness reappeared in them. “She had breast cancer. She had been sick for a long time, but they never told me about it. I guess they didn't want me to have to worry about her while I was applying to college and focusing on graduation. But the doctors couldn't..... um, they couldn't do anything about it anymore and my dad finally decided that they needed to tell me. Mom didn't want me to move out here permanently. She told me she wanted me to go back to school and finish my education but once she died I just couldn't leave my dad like that. He needed me so much and I just didn't have the heart to leave him. So I got a job and an apartment and decided to stay. I didn't have any other friends out here, so it was nice having Zayn close by. But he doesn't know anything about mom. You guys had been on tour when it happened and when he came back, I just wasn't ready to talk about it. Honestly, I don't even know why I told you. I haven't talked about it at all since it happened. Not even with my dad.” By the time she finished she was sobbing, and even I had tears in my eyes. I dropped her hand and wrapped my arms around her as the tears fell from her eyes, pulling her into one of my famous hugs as tightly as possible. Maybe it was too much too soon, but the idea of seeing such a beautiful girl cry just didn't sit well with me.   
“I shouldn't have asked. It wasn't really my business.” I mumbled. My heart ached for her and I felt awful, like I had pressured her into telling me. But she just smiled up at me.  
“It's OK Niall. I'm really glad that I told you actually. Keeping it all locked up inside has been killing me. Thanks for listening.” She said softly. I smiled back at her, just staring into her eyes as I listened to the waves crashing against the beach. And then an idea popped into my head. I pulled away from her.   
“I know something that might make you feel better.” I said with a smile as she looked at me curiously. “Can I see your phone real quick?” I asked. “Mines dead so I left it in the car.” Not a lie at all. Her hands quickly searched her pockets but came up empty.  
“Um I guess I left it in the car too.” She said. I could hear the nervousness in her voice. .  
“Good.” I growled, and before she had the chance to react I had lifted her into my arms and was running into the water, dropping her when I knew we were in deep enough that she wouldn't get hurt. She splashed around for a second before standing up, her blonde hair sticking to her face. The look on her face had me terrified. I was an absolute goner for sure.  
“NIALL!” She yelled, glaring at me. Then her face changed. Her eyes had a mischievous glint in them. “You are so gonna pay for that!” And then she pounced on me, pushing me down and pulling me under the water. We splashed around for a little bit, dunking each other under the light blue waves, before I finally picked her up and dragged her back up the beach to the edge of the water. I sat down and she followed suit quickly, both of us panting, trying to catch our breath. I snuck a glance at her, not wanting to make myself too obvious. It was dark but the light from the moon illuminated her features. Her baby blonde hair was clinging to her face and body. Her big green eyes sparkled in the light. She had the most perfect nose I’d ever seen in my life and her lips were full and red. Just begging to be kissed. But I really wasn't that kind of guy. As my eyes traveled down her body, I suddenly realized why throwing her in hadn't been my brightest idea ever. Her loose white v-neck clung to her body and I could clearly see the lacy red bra hiding underneath. I felt an uncomfortable tightness in my shorts, something that was slightly foriegn to me. I wasn't one to get turned on easily at all. Honestly, it took a lot to get me riled up. Harry had once snuck a playboy on our bus and when I looked through it, absolutely nothing. So why in gods name did this adorable, fully clothed, just barely exposed girl turn me on so much when pages upon pages of naked women didn't even get me close. She could obviously feel my eyes on her so she looked in y direction, causing my cheeks to heat up tremendously. I really didn't need her to know how hot she was making me.   
“We should probably get back.” I choked out, trying to sound as calm as possible. She nodded and stood up, offering me her hand once again. I took it, grabbing my jacket and followed behind her just a few steps, attempting to adjust myself so that no one could see my situation. Not that being behind her helped at all. Her cut off shorts fell just below her bum and she swung her hips when she walked, only making my problem that much worse. When I felt like I was hidden well enough I closed the gap between us with a few long strides. She smiled up at me and took my hand in hers, leading me back over to the log we had been sitting on before. The music had changed and I heard the familiar sounds of Olly Murs “Heart Skips A Beat” playing. I instinctively picked up my guitar and strummed along. For some reason, I always loved to play along to that song. It had such an amazing beat and Olly's voice was one of my favorites.   
“Oi Nialler! What the bloody hell happened to you two?” Liam called over to us from across the fire. Stella and I just looked at each other and laughed.  
“I tripped.” I joked.  
“And took Stella down with you? Right Ni.” Harry laughed. His eyes lingered on Stella, taking in the sight of her body through her now see through shirt. I shot him a glare. If looks could kill, Harry would have dropped in an instant under my gaze.   
“Hey Stella you look cold. Let me go grab you a jacket.” I told her quickly, my eyes still on Harry. He noticed my icy stare and quickly averted his attention back to Josh, who was still sitting closely beside him. I ran back up to my car again, grabbing my favorite blue hoodie out of the backseat and noticing her phone sitting on the passenger seat. I grabbed it, with the intention of bringing it to her, but something on the screen caught my eye. “Conner:) 12 missed calls” My head was spinning. Who the hell was Conner? Did Stella have a boyfriend? Zayn had never mentioned it. I would think that if he knew about a Conner, he would have told me instead of setting me up on this..... what was this? Was it a date? Or just us becoming friends? All of my other friends were there, so that couldn't make it a date right? But they were all coupled up, so it could be. I was so confused. Maybe Conner was just a friend. Or maybe her brother. But wait, she hadn't mentioned siblings and I was pretty sure Zayn had told me that she was an only child. I slowly walked back over to my friends, silently praying that Conner was her gay best friend. “Here. I hope this helps.” I whispered, slipping the hoodie over her shoulders as I sat back down next to her. She slid her arms into the sleeves and for a minute I forgot about Conner and marveled at how fucking adorable she looked in MY hoodie. But her voice brought me back to reality.  
“Hey you grabbed my phone. Thanks.” She said and I handed it to her. She hit the button to light up the screen, saw the message that displayed and frowned. As much as it killed me to see a frown on her face, my hopes shot up a little bit. “Shit. I'll be right back. I really need to make a phone call.”

Stella's POV  
“Conner! You can't call me nonstop like this. It's making you look really desperate. We'll hang out Thursday OK. I promise. I'll call you later. I'm out with some friends.” The boy on the other end of the line sighed heavily. Conner and I had been casually hanging out for about two weeks. He was cute and he was really cool, but I wasn't sure I was as interested in him as he was me. Sure, I liked him just fine and he was nice to look at, but I didn't really want to be in a relationship with someone that I wasn't all that interested in.   
OK Stell, I'm sorry. Call me tomorrow or something. Bye.” He huffed before hanging up. I rolled my eyes. He was so moody and also a little pushy. I just wasn't really into that.  
“Stell, is everything OK? You kinda ran off really quickly and we're all a little worried.” I heard Zayn ask from behind me, his voice full of concern. I slipped my phone in Nialls hoodie pocket and pulled it tightly around me. It smelled amazing, like Irish spring soap and Mint.   
“Yeah Zayn I’m fine. Just having stupid boy problems. You know how it goes.” He really did. Zayn had been the one I cried to about all of my relationships. Poor boy would sit on the phone with me for hours while I bitched and complained about all of my ex boyfriends.  
“What's wrong now? Is it Niall? Because you guys seem to be getting pretty cozy.” He chuckled.  
“No it's not Niall. I mean well it has to do with Niall. I really like him a lot. But I’ve kinda been hanging out with this other guy. Conner. He's really great and he really likes me.” I told him. “I really like him, I mean he is a nice guy, it's just that I, you know, like someone else infinitely more.” I said, not saying his name, just in case he was listening. That would be embarrassing.  
“Well Stell it doesn't sound like that hard of a decision. Go with your heart. Just tell him you're not that into him. You have to be honest with him.” Zayn said. I rolled my eyes. Another Zayn Malik Lecture. Great. I had gotten hundreds of those over the years. I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could we were interrupted.  
“We should get going. Everyone's getting a little drunk and I wouldn't be surprised if Lou tries to fuck El right here right now. Also, I’m pretty sure that Harry and Josh are snogging on top of Liam's car.” Niall snapped at us. What had crawled up his ass. Maybe one of the boys had done something to him. Zayn and I nodded, rejoining the group as everyone made their way to the three cars.   
“Hey Nialler, Perrie and I are going to drive Lou and El back. Lou's not really in any position to drive right now. Can you make sure Stella gets home safe?” Zayn asked. He shot me a wink and I knew exactly what he was hoping for. Niall looked down at me with a smile and nodded so I followed him to his car, calling out my goodbyes to the rest of the group. He opened the passenger door for me.  
“Thanks Niall.” I whispered, kissing his cheek. He really was sweet and I liked him a lot more than I should considering the fact that I had only known him for a few hours. A blush crept up his cheeks and I giggled at him as he made his way to his side of the car and slid in.   
“Do I need to take you back to your work to pick up your car?” he asked nervously.  
“No my friend Jess took me to work today so my cars at home. It's not too far from you're guys building. Only just a couple of blocks actually.” I told him. I gave him the address and he punched it in his GPS as he started the car. “Do you, um, do you mind if I turn on the radio?” I asked him. It was so quiet in the car that I was starting to feel awkward. He nodded with a small smile on his face and I pushed the button on the radio, only to hear his own voice coming through the speakers.  
“Now I’m climbing the walls   
but you don't notice at all  
that I’m going out of my mind  
all day and all night.” His face flushed red and I giggled at him, causing him to blush even more. The rest of the car ride was silent, aside from the radio. When we finally pulled up to my building, he jumped out of the car before I even had time to reach for the door handle and before I knew it, my door was opened.  
“I'd like to walk you up, if you don't mind. Just to make sure you get in OK.” He said nervously. I just smiled and nodded. He followed me in the building and up the two flights of stairs to my apartment. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and turned to him.  
“I had a lot of fun tonight Niall.” I said softly. He pulled me into a tight hug.  
“I did too.” He whispered. I looked up into his big blue eyes, hoping that he would lean in and kiss me like I so desperately wanted, but he just let go of me and took a step back. “Well, I should get going, I’m sure the lads are wondering what's taking me so long. I'll see you soon?” I nodded, trying to hide the disappointment in my eyes. “Bye.” He said and then turned and walked towards the stairs.   
“Wait Niall!” I yelled after him. He turned quickly, confusion written all over his face. “Here, let me give you your hoodie back.” He chuckled and shook his head.  
“No keep it. It looks better on you anyways.” He said before heading down the stairs. I sighed as I unlocked the door to my apartment, letting myself in and then shutting the door behind me softly. Zayn had clearly been wrong about him. If he had liked me he would have kissed me, but he didn't even seem like he wanted to. I pulled out my phone and dialed Conner’s number.


	4. Baby

Niall's POV  
“I really like him, I mean he is a nice guy, it's just that I, you know, like someone else infinitely more.” The words replayed over and over in my head the whole car ride home. I know I shouldn't have been listening, but I just couldn't help it. I had to know what she had thought of me and if she was going to tell anyone, it would be Zayn, right? So I had snuck a little bit closer to them to listen. I didn't catch their whole conversation, but I did hear the part that really mattered. She liked someone more than me. Infinitely more. What the hell did that even mean? And why was I never good enough for a girl like her?  
I pulled in to the parking lot of our building to find Zayn standing by my usual spot smoking a cigarette. He was obviously waiting for me to get home.  
“Hey Nialler. Did you have fun?” He asked me with a smirk.   
“Yeah. It was a great time.” I responded. I really didn't want to talk about Stella and I didn't want to tell him I had overheard them because I knew he would probably tell her.  
“Did you kiss her, mate?” I had expected this question. The truth is, even after what she said, I really really wanted to. That was the real reason I walked her to her door. But as I looked down into her eyes, her words echoed through my brain. So I stopped myself.  
“No and I really don't want to talk about this right now. I'm gonna go take a shower.” I snapped before walking inside and heading towards the lift. Once I was in my flat, I quickly locked the door, afraid that Zayn would try to follow me in and talk to me. The flat was quiet, Liam having moved out a few weeks ago to live with Danielle. I was so happy for them and it was great to have the place to myself, but I couldn't help but wish that he was hear on nights like these. Nights I felt insecure. He and Harry were the only people who really knew how insecure I could be, Liam because he was my best friend, and Harry because he caught me cutting once. He absolutely freaked out and begged me to go see a shrink but I refused. I promised him I would stop, which was easier said then done. He also made me promise to call him whenever I had the urge to do it. An urge that I had at that moment. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, having charged it on the way home enough to make the call.   
“Hey Nialler.” He answered after two rings, sounding a little breathless. What the hell was he doing?  
“Hey Haz I really need you right now. Can you come over?” I asked nervously.  
“Is everything OK?” he asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.  
“Haz.....” I didn't want to say it out loud. I hated saying the words. It made me feel weak.  
“I'll be there as soon as possible. I'm leaving Josh's right now.” He said and then hung up. Josh lived far enough away that I figured I’d have time for a shower, and I knew that if Harry showed up while I was still in there he could let himself in. The night he caught me, he had insisted on having a key to my flat and I gladly obliged. It felt good knowing someone cared about me that much, even if it was just Harry. I padded across the living room into my large bathroom, stripping down quickly and turning on the water as hot as it could go. Once I got the temperature to right where I wanted it, I slipped inside, letting the soft water droplets cascade down my tense back. My thought immediately went to Stella. What was she doing right now? Was she thinking of me? Or was she thinking of this other guy, probably this Conner guy. 

Harry showed up right as I was pulling on my sweatpants. He let himself in and walked quickly into my room, sitting down on the edge of my bed. He didn't say anything, waiting for me to tell him what I was feeling.   
“Haz I don't think she really likes me all that much.” I sighed, sitting down beside him.   
“Really, cause from where I was sitting, it seemed like she was pretty in to you. She couldn't take her eyes off of you the whole night.” He laughed. I shook my head.  
“I overheard her talking to Zayn. She said that she liked me but she liked someone else more. Why am I never good enough Harry? Why? I mean I know that compared to all you guys I’m not really that much of anything but....”  
“Niall stop. Just stop OK. You know that's not true. You're awesome. You're just as good as the rest of us if not better. I mean you're adorable. And you're the nicest guy. Plus you're Irish, unlike the rest of us, so that makes you the most special person in the band because you're unique. You really have to stop comparing yourself to us though. We're all different. Remember that.” He said, interrupting my ranting. He threw his arm around my shoulders. “Nialler, please stop being so insecure. That girl was absolutely smitten with you. It was obvious to all of us. Maybe she wasn't talking about you, ya know? Maybe the guy she likes MORE is you. Did you think about that?” I shook my head. I hadn't even considered that.   
“Thanks Haz.” I said softly.  
“Movie time?” He squealed. I laughed.   
“Yeah sure. Go pick something out. I'll be out in a second, I’m gonna grab my phone charger.” I told him, and he hopped happily out of the room in search of a good movie to watch. As soon as he was out the door, I heard Baby by Justin Beiber, my default ring tone, coming from the bathroom where I had left my phone. I walked in and grabbed it off the counter. The number was one I didn't recognize. “Hello?” I asked hesitantly. The last time I had gotten a call from a number I didn't know, it was a fan who screamed and screamed at me for a good ten minutes.  
“Niall?” The voice on the other end asked.  
“Stella?”  
“Yeah, uh, hey.” She said. She sounded nervous. What was she doing calling me? It was almost 1 in the morning. And how did she get my number?  
“Hey. This is a nice surprise.” I said.   
“Yeah, um, I got your number from Zayn. I hope you don't mind. I wasn't going to call you, I was actually just going to text you tomorrow, but then I thought, 'well what the hell why not?' right. But then I didn't know if you would be up. You weren't sleeping right? I didn't wake you? I hope not. Oh my god I bet I did didn’t I. Oh I’m so....” She rambled on and on, which I found quite adorable, but I finally cut her off so she could take a breath.  
“Stella it's fine. I wasn't sleeping. I was actually about to watch a movie with Harry.” I told her with a laugh.  
“Oh shit, oh sorry I mean, um, crap. I'll let you go then I guess.” She mumbled.  
“NO!” I cried into the phone. “It's not a big deal. He can wait. He takes forever to pick out a movie anyways.” She chuckled a little and I felt my knees go weak. No girl had ever had this effect on me. “So what's up?” She took a deep breath.   
“Well I was just calling to tell you again that I had a really great time with you tonight. And um, also, I don't know maybe you're busy tomorrow, but if you're not, um, maybe we could, uh, hang out or something?” she asked me softly. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. Maybe Harry was right, maybe I was the guy that she liked more. It seemed to me like I made her nervous, which I thought was crazy because she was way out of my league. But I did, and I liked having that effect on her.  
“That would be awesome. I wasn't really planning on doing anything tomorrow at all.” I said.  
“Great!” she squealed. Wow that was adorable. She laughed nervously. “Um yeah so just call me tomorrow?”  
“You got it.” I heard a crashing noise from the kitchen and figured I should probably go check on Harry. He tended to make a mess when he came over. “Well I should go before Harry destroys my entire flat. I'll call you when I get up. Goodnight Stella.”  
“Goodnight Niall. See you tomorrow.” As soon as I hung up the phone, I did the least manly thing possible, I squealed. Harry came running into my bedroom, crashing into the door frame face first.  
“Niall are you alright? If it's a spider you're going to have to call Lou!” he cried, eyes wide.  
“Uh, yeah sorry about that. Actually I uh, just got off the phone with Stella. She wants to hang out tomorrow. I guess I just got a little overly excited.” My face burned bright red and harry started cracking up.  
“YOU....... ARE SUCH........A GIRL!!” He breathed out between laughing, hunching over to clutch his stomach. I smacked him in the back of the head, causing him to fall to the floor with a loud thump. “OUCH! Niall!” he whined.  
“That's for calling me a girl.” I told him with a smirk. “Now, lets get to movie watching!”

Stella's POV  
“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I probably should have been a little bit quieter, considering that fact that it was one in the morning and I knew Jessica was sound asleep, but I just couldn’t help it. I had just asked Niall out on a date. Well OK, maybe it wasn't a date, but that didn't mean I couldn't be excited over it. I heard a loud thump come from Jessica’s bedroom followed by a few choice curse words, before she came limping into my bedroom looking annoyed.  
“What the hell, Stella?” She snapped.  
“I'm going to hang out with Niall tomorrow. Alone!” I squealed.  
“Awe how sweet. Now shut the hell up I’m trying to sleep!” she snaps. She whipped around quickly to head back to her room but popped her head back in the door. “Wake me up in the morning and I’ll help you get ready.” She said with a wink. I nodded, falling back onto my bed and sighing. I don't really know what possessed me to get Nialls number. I had called Conner to confirm our date for Thursday, since I didn't think that Niall really liked me all that much, but he didn't answer, so I called Zayn. We had gone over the whole night, detail by detail to figure out what went wrong and out of nowhere I just asked him for Nialls number. I spent 30 minutes arguing with myself about whether or not I should call him. To be honest, it had kind of happened by accident. I was sitting there thinking about what I was going to do, when I picked my phone to call Zayn again, I accidentally called Niall instead, so I just went with it. Unfortunately, now I had the unpleasant task of figuring out what I was going to wear. I went to my closet, peering at the clothes bursting out of it. What would Niall like? I had no idea and Jess wouldn't know either. She had no experience with boys like Niall. All the guys she dated were bad boys. Niall was definitely the opposite. I debated over the situation with myself for a full 20 minutes before I remembered that I had gotten both Eleanor and Danielle's numbers tonight. I quickly unlocked my phone and sent out a group message to both girls.  
“Hey it's Stella. I'm hanging out with Niall tomorrow and I’m having a fashion crisis. Help!”  
I got a response from both girls right away, which surprised me as I figured Danielle would be asleep and Eleanor had been dry humping Louis the whole time we were at the beach.  
Danielle “Address please? I'll be over at 9 am sharp with Coffee in hand.”  
Eleanor “Don't worry love, we'll take care of everything.”  
Thank god for those girls!  
The next morning I woke up to a loud knock on my front door. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my black thick rimmed “nerd glasses” as Jess always called them. There was a note taped to the inside of my bedroom door.  
“Hey I know I said I’d help you get ready but I got a call this morning about a modeling job. I'm not sure what time I’ll be home so just have fun hanging with Blondie and don't do anything I wouldn't do. If you need me text me. Love ya boo”  
I set the note down on my desk and pulled on a pair of sweats before making my way towards the front door. Eleanor and Danielle stood there, coffee in hand as promised.  
“Alright where's your closet?” Eleanor asked as she walked through the door. I led the girls into my bedroom and pointed to my closet door. She quickly threw it open and studied it for just a few inutes, before pulling out some clothes and tossing them to me. “This is perfect. Right Dani?”   
“Ooooooh Stella let me see what she picked out.” Danielle squealed. I held up the articles Eleanor had chosen. A black v-neck, just like the one I had worn the night before and a pair of white cut off shorts. “Sexy. Niall will definitely like that. He told Liam he thinks your legs are sexy. And honestly, girl, he's got a point. I'm jealous.” She told me sipping on her coffee. I rolled my eyes and trudged off to the bathroom.   
“I'm going to take a shower real quick. Make yourselves at home.” I called out behind me before shutting the bathroom door. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and picked up my phone. There was text from Niall.  
“Hey :)” Boy was he cute! I quickly texted back, a little shocked that he would even be up so early in the morning.  
“Hey to you too.” I set my phone in the iHome sitting on my bathroom counter and opened up my Rhapsody app, selecting the play list I had made the night before while I was bored at work. As I stepped into the steaming hot shower, “Baby” by Justin Beiber came on. I sang along softly as I quickly washed myself. I didn't want to take to long, wanting to be able to see Niall as soon as possible, and hear his sweet Irish accent. He'd had a staring role in all of my dreams last night and I could only hope that actually being around him would be as sweet as the scenarios in my head. When I was finished I got out and dried off quickly, wrapping the fluffy white towel around my long blonde hair. I slipped on my clothes and walked out of the bathroom, making my way back into my bedroom where I had left the girls.   
“Damn Stella! You look great. Niall's going to die!” Eleanor said with a smirk. I blushed deep red and pulled the towel off of my hair, shaking my blonde waves out. I loved my hair. It always did exactly what I wanted it too. It was really one of the few things I liked about myself, to be perfectly honest. I rarely ever had a bad hair day, and even when I did, I could always fix them with a ponytail or a messy bun.   
“Ugh! Is your hair always that perfect!” Danielle whined. I nodded sympathetically. “Bitch!” she laughed.   
“Alright lets get back to business. Make up. Niall doesn't really like a lot of make up so it's best to be natural. And if that's what your face looks like without makeup, I seriously hate you because you're gorgeous.” Eleanor told me. I blushed again.  
“I don't usually wear a lot anyways.” I said honestly. She pointed to the seat in front of my vanity.  
“Sit.” she commanded and I did as I was told. 10 minutes, a little foundation, and a few coats of mascara later, I was standing with the door to my building ready to leave. Danielle had texted Niall for me to let him know I was ready to go and he was already waiting downstairs by his car.  
“Good luck love. Make sure you text us and let us know what happens. Maybe we can have a girls night tonight.” Danielle whispered as she hugged me. Eleanor winked at me.  
“Thanks for helping me out guys. I'll definitely text you.” I said back. The girls walked off out the door and down the street, waving happily at Niall, who was leaning up against his car looking gorgeous. He hadn't seen me yet and for that I was grateful. It gave me time to take in his appearance. He was wearing gray skinny jeans and a white v-neck, his blonde hair messy, but in a sexy way. I pushed the door open, walking up to him and stopping when he looked up at me. An adorable grin lit up his face.  
“Hey Stella.” He said happily as he pulled me into a tight hug. My heart pounded in my chest. Here goes nothing.


	5. What Makes You Beautiful

Niall's POV  
“Soooooo....” I started as I opened the door for her. “What do you want to do today?” I had spent the whole night trying to think of a plan for the day, and I had actually come up with a few things, but she had been the one that had called me, so I wasn't sure if she had anything in mind.  
“Well it's still kinda early, can we go get some breakfast? I'm starving.” She said with a smile as I slid into the drivers seat.   
“That sounds like an excellent idea.” I agreed. Truth be told, I hadn't eaten at all since before we had gone to pick her up the night before because I’d been too nervous. Harry had noticed it when I woke up in the morning. He had been standing in the kitchen drinking his tea and making breakfast. He offered me some as I sat down at the table but I quickly refused, my stomach too full of butterflies to even think about filling it with food.  
“Nialler, you need to eat something. You haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.” he had scolded me. But I stood my ground. But sitting in the car with Stella, I could hear y stomach growling loudly, and was sure she could feel it too. How embarrassing. She just laughed.  
“You have the most adorable laugh.” I mumbled without really thinking. I didn't know if she heard me or not, but a large part of me was hoping she hadn't. I had this terrible habit of blurting out everything that was on my mind when I was nervous, and as much as I wanted her to know that I thought she was perfect, I really couldn't handle embarrassing myself any more than I already had. Unfortunately for me, she had heard it, which made her laugh nervously in response.  
“No one's ever told me that before. All my friends think it's obnoxious.” she admitted, blushing a deep red.  
“It's the furthest thing from obnoxious, I promise you that.” I told her. She smiled at the floor and I could tell she was really insecure. “Are you alright?” I asked her, concerned.  
“Yeah. I mean, I guess, it's just that, I don't really get compliments like that a lot. Usually it's my friend Jessica that gets all the attention. Everyone just treats me like her awkward best friend, which I guess I am. She's a model you know. She's really gorgeous and guys just kind of fall all over her all the time. I'm not really much of anything compared to her, you know, I’m not pretty like her or girly or any of that stuff that she is. I'm just awkward and dorky and weird and I swear a lot and I really don't know why I’m telling you all of this. God I’m so weird I just ramble on and on all the time. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry.” I raised an eyebrow at her. She was so adorable it hurt. How could she possibly not see that.   
“Are you mad? You're beautiful, Stella. Don't let anyone ever tell you different. And to be honest, I think you're a lot more than you give yourself credit for. I mean I know I don't know you all that well, but I don't think you're stupid or awkward at all. I think you're funny and smart. You're awesome. I really hope you learn to believe that.” I told her. “Plus, you're rambling is adorable as hell.” She blushed again. I really have no idea where all the confidence I seemed to be possessing came from, but I ran with it. We pulled up to the cafe a few minutes later. I was surprised when we got inside to see that the place was almost completely empty. It wouldn't stay that way for long, once some fan girl walked in and decided to tweet about me being there, something that happened more times than I could count. That was another reason why I had such a problem with dating. Our fans could be really scary. I loved them, don't get me wrong. They were our girls. But I saw the hate that Danielle, Eleanor and Perrie all got on twitter just. I remembered very clearly the night that one girl threatened Caroline's life. I even remember them attacking my ex girlfriend Ali, who I had dated before I was even on X-Factor. It was such a small fraction of fans that spread the hate, but it was still scary. Dani had cried over it so many times, this I knew because she and I had become exceptionally close over the time that her and Liam had been dating. She wasn't a very weak person and she didn't get upset over things often, but those girls broke her many times. I can only imagine El and Perrie had done the same. I would never wish that on any girl of mine. Especially a girl as amazing as Stella. But I also knew that I didn't want to be alone forever.  
“Niall. Hello.......” my thoughts were broken as Stella waved her hand in front of my face. I shook all my thoughts from my head and focused on the beautiful girl in front of me.  
“Sorry.” I mumbled, embarrassed.  
“It's OK. I'm sorry if I'm boring you.” She stared down at her lap, embarrassed. I reached my hand out and took hers, causing her to look up at me suddenly.  
“You're not. I promise.” I assured her. My words seemed to relax her a little bit, which was nice. I didn't want her to be nervous the whole day.  
“So Mr. Horan....” She started after a few minutes. I couldn't help but notice a hint of flirtation in her tone. “I think it's about time I hear your story.”  
“what do you want to know?” I asked, taking a sip of my tea. She did the same with her coffee as she thought for a moment.  
“What were you doing before the band?” she finally asked.   
“Not really anything. My life was pretty boring before all of this. I was just a nerdy, shy kid from Ireland you know. I didn't really do a whole hell of a lot and I didn't really have a lot of friends.” I told her honestly. It was all true. I was such a nerd as a kid.  
“Oh come on. There's no way. I mean you're adorable and you play guitar. You must have had some friends. I'm sure the girls were all over you.” She laughed. My breath hitched when she called me adorable. Holy shit! I'm sure my face was beat red by that point.  
“Nah I was such a dork. All the other kids thought I was really weird because I took my guitar everywhere. I mean I had these two best friends, Max and David, when I was younger, but they turned into huge dicks in high school and started bullying me. I got picked on a lot honestly, from the time I was a kid all the way up until I left school for the band. My dad didn't want me to drop out but he knew how unhappy I was and how much I wanted to do this so he let me. And honestly I’ve never been happier. It's weird, Max and David and I had been friends for like 10 years, since we were 4, but Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn have come to know me better than the two of them ever did. They're the only real, true friends I’ve ever had in my life.” As I talked, I started to notice the little things. My hand still holding hers. Her eyes never leaving mine. Her perfectly white teeth biting her bottom lip. Blonde hairs falling into her eyes. I reached across the table with my free hand and brushed the loose hair out of her face, pushing it behind her ear. A blush crept across her cheeks and her eyes darted back to her lap. I squeezed her hand lightly. “So what about you. What was your life like before you moved out here?”  
“A lot like yours, if I’m being completely honest. I didn't have ANY girl friends. I had a few guy friends, which is probably why. I got bullied a lot too you know. The girls at my school were always calling me ugly and fat and slut. All kinds of horrible names. They spread so many rumors about me sleeping with guys at school because I always hung out with my guy friends. I spent a lot of time in my room playing guitar and writing songs and shit like that. I had a few boyfriends but they only dated me because they thought I was easy like all the other girls said I was. Graduating high school was probably one of the best days of my life, honestly, because I knew I’d never have to see any of those bitches again.” she laughed.   
“I didn't really have many girlfriends honestly. I dated this girl Ali in high school, but um.... Well she broke up with me because I’m a virgin. I quite honestly haven't had a girlfriend since.” I couldn't believe I had told her that, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. Might as well get it out of the way. She looked a little shocked, but smiled none the less.  
“A teenage boy who is actually a virgin. Never thought I’d meet one of those.” She joked. “Don't be embarrassed. I actually think that’s really sweet. Especially considering all of your friends seem like total horn dogs. I bet they give you a ton of shit about it.”  
“Actually they're really cool about it. They all get it. I'm just want to wait for the right girl. I don't want to give it up to some random chick at a club or whatever. I want her to be someone I can see myself with for the long haul. Someone who loves me for who I am. It's really hard to find girls like that now. Most girls I meet aren't which surprises me. Not that that's a bad thing or anything. I just meet a lot of easy girls and I have no interest in them. I don't know maybe I’m just weird.” I explained.  
“I don't think so. I feel the same way about every guy meet. God I mean everyone I grew up with already thinks that I’m some skank who gives it up on the first date or whatever, but the truth is that I've never really done anything. I want my first time to be special.” she told me. We smiled at each other. I liked that she was a virgin too. It made me feel less alone. People give me shit about it all the time. In interviews and stuff, I’m always getting asked about it. Even some of our fans think it's weird. The boys have always been so great about it, but I know they think it's strange. The truth is, I’m not really waiting for marriage, I’m just waiting for my princess.   
My phone suddenly beeped as we were eating our breakfast, letting me know I had a text. I pulled it out and looked at the lit up screen.  
Harry: “Pub. 1 hour. Ireland vs England. You're going down leprechaun.”  
Harry: “.....Bring Stella so she can witness your humiliation.” I laughed.   
“Hey Stella, would it be OK if we went to hang out with the lads for a bit? Harry just texted me and....”  
“And you want to go watch the England/Ireland match? God I thought you'd never ask. I've been texting Zayn giving him shit about it all day.” she said with a smile.  
“Really! Awesome! I'll text Harry and tell him we'll meet them in an hour.” I exclaimed as I pulled my phone out to respond to Harry's text. An hour later, we were walking into the pub Harry had texted me the address too to see my four band mates and their girlfriends, plus Josh, sitting around a large round table. The other three girls looked less than thrilled to have been dragged out to watch football with their boyfriends, but Stella bounced happily in the seat next to me. The place wasn't very crowded, which wasn't all that surprising considering it was kind of a hole in the wall, but I wasn't complaining. It meant we didn't have to deal with fans or paparazzi. We ordered the first round of drinks, all the boys and Stella getting beer and the girls had mixed drinks. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She was sipping her beer, watching the game intently, cheering every time something good happened for Ireland and looking pissed when the opposite happened. She really was perfect.  
“God dammit! I can't believe he let that ball slip by him!” Zayn shouted as Ireland got their first point. Stella and I cheered loudly and hugged.  
“Wow, I never thought our little Nialler would meet someone who loves Ireland as much as he does. Have you suffered some traumatic brain injury or something?” Liam teased Stella. She took a long drink from her beer before rolling her eyes.  
“My dad is from Dublin. He took me to my first match when I was 4. It was Ireland and Belgium. The game that kept them out of the World Cup. Anyways, I kinda grew up watching Ireland, because that's all my dad would watch.”  
“NO WAY! My dad took me to that match too. I remember that he cried as we were leaving.” I told her.  
“My dad did too.” She laughed, taking another sip of her beer. I did the same. She really was perfect for me . I started thinking about how much my mum would love her. She was so sweet and polite and gorgeous. If I knew my mum, she would be falling all over this girl. She had never really liked the few other girlfriends I had had, but Stella was just the type of girl that my family would fall in love with.   
“Close your mouth mate. You're staring at her.” Louis whispered in my ear, breaking up my thoughts. I shook my head before settling my eyes back on Stella to make sure she hadn't noticed, but she was too into the game.   
“Lou I'm bored!” Eleanor whined to her boyfriend. Louis sighed. I knew he hated bringing her along because she always complained. Eleanor was a great girl, we all loved her and enjoyed having her around, but when we were out trying to have fun, she could sometimes get annoying if she wasn't having a good time.  
“Me too El. We should go look in a couple shops, leave the boys to their sports.” Danielle huffed. I rolled my eyes at her. It was obvious she wanted to stay, but she hated listening to El complain as much as I did, so she always went around with her willingly, trying to make her happy. It was really too bad though, we had only been back in London for two weeks, but Danielle had been in Germany for some dance seminar and had only just gotten back three days before. She hadn't spent much time with Liam at all because of that, and because we'd been so busy recording. I watched as Liam pouted at her. He had missed her so much while we had been gone it was almost torture to hear about it. They were so in love. Dani leaned over and whispered something in his ear and I saw his cheeks flush a deep red as his lips curved up into an embarrassed smile. Gross.  
“Yeah OK that sounds great! Perrie? Stella?” El asked the other two girls. Perrie nodded quickly, kissing Zayn on the lips and hopping off her chair to follow the other two girls out of the bar. I silently prayed that Stella would say no and stay with me.  
“You know I think I’m gonna stick around. The match just started you know and I just ordered another beer. Maybe I’ll catch up with you guys later.” she told Eleanor as her hand brushed against mine on the table. Dani shot me a wink and I smirked at her.  
“Suit yourself. Text me if you get bored and we can meet up.” El said back and led the other girls out into the street.  
“Oh finally! I love that girl to death but she drives me crazy when there's a match on. All she wants to do is snog and all I want to do is watch!” Louis groaned.   
“Wow Boo bear. I've never heard you complain about snogging before. Are you sick?” Harry teased him.  
“Shut Up Hazza.” Lou snapped. Stella chuckled softly beside me, the sound sending shivers down my spine. I leaned over to her, my lips a few inches from her ear.  
“I'm glad you stayed. I need you on my side here.” I told her quietly. I felt her hand come to rest on my knee.  
“I wound;t have left either way.” she told me with a smile, giving my knee a light squeeze. I bit my lip and quickly looked back to the TV screen as the English goalie blocked a shot from my boys in green. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder.  
“Hey come to the loo with me. I need to talk to you.” It was Harry. I nodded at him and hopped off my chair, following him to the bathroom.  
“What's up Haz? Is everything OK?” I asked curiously.  
“Yeah I just need ask you something really personal.” He said nervously.  
“Harry you can ask me anything. You know that.” I told him encouragingly. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth, then closing it quickly. I threw my arm around his shoulder. “Come on Harry. Spill it.”  
“Doyouthinkjoshlikesme?” It sounded like gibberish.  
“Come again mate?”  
“Do you. Think Josh. Likes me?” he squeaked out before hiding his beet red face in his hands. I tightened my grip on him.  
“I don't know. Maybe you should ask him.” I said.  
“Oh my god what the bloody hell is wrong with me! Every time I'm around him I get all weird. Like girls do with me. I always knew that I was bi, I mean I’ve always been attracted to guys and girls, but I’ve never really actually liked a guy before. Well I guess that's not really true there was one other guy that I liked but uhhhhhhhh never mind.” He cut himself, his face covered with his hands again. “i can't believe I just told you that!”  
“Haz it's fine. It's not like I think you're any different. I kind of noticed there was something going on there anyways. He looks at you like he likes you. You just need to ask him. Be honest Haz. Be you. Cause right now you're acting like me. And that's not going to get you anywhere.” I told him. He smiled at me.  
“You're right. You're a dork. I don't want to be anything like you Nialler.” He said nudging my shoulder. “You seem to be doing alright for yourself mate. I've never seen you so confident with a girl. And she's smokin by the way. If things don't work out for me and josh and you and her then I might.....  
“HARRY!” I snapped. I did not want to hear that at all. He jumped away from me and ran to the door.  
“Well I’m outta here!” he laughed pushing the door open, but he quickly stopped and turned around to face me again. “I probably shouldn't tell you this, I mean it was a long time ago, like back when we were in the X-Factor house and it was only for a few months. And you'll probably think I’m totally weird and gross, but it was you Niall. You were the first guy I ever liked a lot. Weird right?” he told me honestly. I couldn't help but smile. I already knew this. It hadn't been that hard to figure out.  
“Honestly Haz, who could resist this!” I laughed as I followed him out the door. “Now, go talk to him. I bet you'll be surprised.” I added in his ear when we got back to the table, pushing him slightly, just enough so that he fell into Josh's chest. His face was once again a bright red.  
“Hey Josh can we talk for a second?” he asked Josh quietly.   
“Sure Haz.” josh said with a nod, and followed him out the door. I shot Harry a wink and mouthed the words 'good luck' to him as the door shut behind them.  
“Is that about what I think it's about?” she asked me quietly.  
“Um... Maybe?” i whispered back cautiously.  
“Josh lost it when you two went off together, so I sincerely hope so.”  
“Really now?”   
“Yeah he was really jealous. Said something about Harry havin a crush on you a while ago.” she smirked at me.  
“Yeah.” I blushed. Obviously I wasn't bothered by the fact that Harry had liked me, mainly because I knew that he didn't anymore and also because I loved Harry no matter what, but it was kind of awkward to talk about with the girl of my dreams. The truth is, back in the X-Factor house, I kind of went through an awkward phase where I had had a man crush on Harry. I don't consider myself Bi or anything and I'm obviously not gay, but I did like him for a few months. I was quick to get over it though and now only saw him as a little brother. I would never ever admit any of that to anyone though. Besides, it didn't matter anymore.

Stella's POV  
“Hey you two, share some love with the rest of us.” Zayn called to us across the table. I hadn't noticed how close I was to Niall as we were talking. My hand was rested on his knee and his arm was laying casually around the back of my chair. We were leaning into each other, his face so close to mine I could see the various shades of clue dancing in his eyes. He turned away from me quickly, blushing a deep shade of crimson, but stayed close. I could feel the heat from his arm on my back and it made my skin tingle.  
“So Stella. Got some questions. Need some answers.” Louis smirked at me. It was half time so we were just sitting around talking.   
“OK, shoot.” I replied. He turned to Zayn and then to Liam, his smirk growing into the most mischievous grin I’d ever seen. Oh shit. What have I just gotten myself into.  
“You a fan?” he asked. I couldn’t really see where this was going, but I figured I might as well just go with it. Did I really have any other choice.  
“Yeah I mean I guess. You guys are great and your songs are catchy. Don't think I really have any other option anyways. Zayn would probably skin me alive if I said I hated you guys.” I told him. All the boys laughed.  
“OK well this is the most important question I’m going to ask then.” he told me.  
“Oh boy.” Niall whispered, still so close I could feel his breath on my neck. It gave me chills.  
“Do you ship Larry Stylinson?” I burst into a fit of laughter. This was his big important question! Oh I was going to have fun with this.  
“You know. I really don't see the appeal.” I said. He gasped, hand clutching his chest like I had just broken his poor little heard. Niall started laughing that perfect uncontrollable laugh, one hand slapping the table and the other clutching his stomach. He looked so adorable.   
“How dare you!” Louis screeched.  
“Honestly Louis.” Liam sighed. “She's obviously more of a Niam girl.” I squinted my eyes and shook my head.  
“No way! Narry all the way.” I told them with a smirk. Liam's reaction was close to Louis, which cause Niall to fall of his chair and curl into a little ball on the floor, he was laughing so hard. We all laughed at him until he finally calmed down enough to stand back up.  
“That...... Was.......So........ Funny!” he breathed out between fits of laughter. I placed my hand on his back, rubbing small circles to try and calm him down and his body tensed, laughs dying down until they stopped completely. He looked nervous and slightly uncomfortable so I quickly removed my hand, thinking that it might have been a bad idea to touch him in the first place. Just then, Harry and Josh walked back in the door, both looking a little flustered with messy hair, pink cheeks and slightly swollen lips.   
“Well it looks like that worked out well.” I heard Niall whisper to Harry as he sat back in his chair. The curly haired boy just played with his fingers, blushing hard, a huge grin spreading across his face. I looked at Josh to see him mirroring Harry's actions.  
“HAZZA! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME!” Louis screamed once he noticed the two boys pink faces. Harry looked up, quickly trying to recover from the embarrassment. He winked at Josh, taking his hand discreetly under the table, before turning to Louis with a cheeky grin.  
“Oh Boo bear, you know you're the only one for me.” Que the laughter!


	6. I Should Have Kissed You

Stella's POV  
“Sooooooo How was your date?” Jess asked as she walked in the door around 11:30 that night. I had been home for four whole hours by myself, wallowing in my absolute misery. The day had gone really well and Niall and I had had so much fun until the end. I had thought he might finally kiss me, but once again he just walked away. What in gods name am I doing wrong? Why doesn't he like me? I thought he did the whole day, he kept making excuses to touch me and be close to me, but just like that it was all gone.  
“Ugh! I really don't want to talk about it. I'm just going to sit here in my sweats with a bowl of ice cream OK.” I grumbled.  
“Well if it makes you feel any better, I ran into Conner today. He's really excited to hang out with you tomorrow.” She told me. Conner. I had forgotten all about him. Suddenly I didn't feel so sad about Niall anymore. I mean, obviously Niall was the one I wanted to be with, but I did like Conner and he actually did like me back.  
“You know what Jess, I think I might call him.” I told her. I quickly pulled my phone out of my hoodie pocket and dialed his number. When I had gotten home, I instinctively reached for Niall's hoodie, but I was too upset to put it on, despite the fact that it was the most comfortable thing I’d ever worn and it smelled like heaven. I just couldn't bear to be that close to him.   
“Hey Stella. I was just thinking about you.” I heard his voice say from the other end of the phone.  
“Hey Conner look I’m really sorry that I’ve been so weird lately. I just wanted to let you know that I can't wait to see you tomorrow.” I said. It wasn't a complete lie. Conner was a really nice guy and I did like him. But I did really feel like I was using him as a distraction.   
“I can't wait either. Look Stella, I know we've only known each other for a few weeks but I just really feel like we have a connection. I was going to ask you this tomorrow, but I just can't wait. I want you to be my girlfriend. Will you?” I was speechless. This was something I wasn't expecting and, as much as I wanted to distract myself from the fact that Niall didn't like me like that, I really didn't want to say yes. To bad my mouth wasn't as caught up with my brain.  
“Yeah sure.” I heard myself saying before I could stop myself. Uh oh.   
“Oh wow. This is so awesome. Stella you're amazing you know that. Look I gotta get to bed but I’ll call you in the morning. Night!” He seemed so excited. I should really just be happy about this. So I let it go.  
“Night Conner.” I whispered before hanging up. I buried my head in my arms against the table. What have I done? I'm going to string this poor nice guy along when I have feelings for someone else? Maybe it will be a good thing, but what if it isn't? What if I can't get over my feelings and just be happy? My thoughts were broken by my phone playing an Usher song. That would be Zayn. “Hello?” I groaned as I pulled myself up out of the kitchen chair and trudged to my room. I threw myself down on the bed.  
“What's you're problem love?” He asked me curiously.  
“I made a mistake. A big one.” I sighed.   
“And that is?” He asked.  
“Conner asked me to be his girlfriend. And I said yes.”  
“Stella why? I thought things were going well with you and Niall?” He sounded a little pissed and I really couldn't blame him. Zayn and I had been close for years, but he and Niall were together all the time. They were like brothers.   
“Zayn we spent the whole day together and he didn't do anything. I don't know what his deal is but he obviously doesn’t' like me the way we thought. What's the point of wasting my time on someone who doesn't feel the same. Maybe I don't like Conner as much as Niall, but I can grow to love him right? It happens all the time.” I snapped. I didn't really feel like listening to him bitch about it. He was clearly wrong.  
“Stella he's nervous. He doesn't get a lot of attention from pretty girls like you.”   
“Zayn he flirted with me all day and then just waved at me when he dropped me off. I didn't even get a hug or anything. That's not the way someone acts when they like you. Maybe you were wrong OK. Maybe he just wants to be friends.” I told him.  
“Stella, you know that's just ridiculous. Maybe you're right, maybe he doesn't like you like that, but you think being friends with him is going to make you feel better? You think seeing him on a regular basis is going to make your crush go away?” he lectured. I sighed. He was right but I didn't really care. Even if Niall didn't like me, I really enjoyed spending time with him. He was fun and funny and sweet and he made me feel a lot less insecure about myself, which was ironic since he was so famous and every girl in the world wanted a piece of him, including girls 100 times more beautiful than me.  
“Zayn, I love you. You're like my brother and your friends are amazing. I don't want to miss out on getting a chance to get to know all of them because of a silly little crush.” I sighed again.  
“You're stubborn you know that? I really hate that about you, but that's why you're my best friend. And don't think that I’ve forgotten that you now suddenly have a boyfriend. I have to meet him and you know that.” He said matter-of-factly.  
“I know Zayn. You will. Don't worry about it. I have to go, Conner and I are hanging out early tomorrow. I'll call you later.” I told him. We said our goodnight and hung up. I changed out of my sweats into a pair of shorts and pulled my thin purple hoodie over my head, replacing it with Niall's big blue one. I snuggled into my bed, pulling the blankets over my head and fell asleep, wondering why life couldn't be easier.

Niall's POV  
“She WHAT!” I snapped at Zayn the next day.   
“She has a boyfriend now.” He told me honestly. In retrospect, it really wasn't any of my business, except for the fact that I had a really awesome date planned for us on Friday where I was finally going to kiss her. Why didn't I just do it the first night we met like I wanted to! “Look Ni, for the life of me, I can't figure out why you didn't make a move on her. It was obvious that she liked you and you just blew it. It's too late now. I've already tried to talk her out of it and she won't budge.”   
“But, I.... Fuck! What the bloody hell is wrong with me Zayn! Why does this always happen to me? I'm so stupid!” I yelled. He put his arm around my shoulder trying to comfort me.  
“Look, she really wants to be friend with you. She does like you a lot. Maybe you can fix this. Maybe you can change her mind.” He told me softly. “It'll be OK, Niall. I promise. They probably won't even last. She's told me a lot about this guy. So has her friend Jess. He seems like a massive douche. Which isn't really all that surprising considering the guys she's gone for in the past.”  
“Not helping mate.” I sighed.  
“Well on the bright side, she hasn't called to cancel your plans for tomorrow. She really does want to be your friend. You can handle that for now right?” He asked.  
“Yeah. I mean I guess so. I don't really have a choice now do I?”


	7. Over My Head

Stella's POV  
I was on my way over to meet Niall and the other boys and was ridiculously nervous. The date with Conner the day before had been awkward to say the least and had ended with us running into the boys at a club. Conner had been extremely uncomfortable. I think it was quite clear that I had feelings for Niall. I know Conner isn't a stupid guy and I was worried that he picked up on it. To make it even more awkward, all of the boys were trying to intimidate him, making threatening comments and passing them off as jokes, sitting in between us, glaring at him. This confused me to no end. I had expected it from Zayn, he had always been so protective, and maybe Niall too, we'd gotten so close in the last few days, but I hardly knew the other three boys. Louis was the one who surprised me the most. He literally shoved Conner up against a wall and threatened the hell out of him when he thought no one could see them. So there I was, standing in front of Louis and Harry's door, mentally preparing myself to spend one, awkward, uninterrupted day with the boys. I knocked softly. After a few moments, the door opened and I was face to face with a very sleepy looking Louis, his hair flat against his forehead, black glasses perched on his nose, wearing a loose white t-shirt and navy blue Hollister sweat pants.  
“Oh shit! Is it ten already? I completely forgot you all were coming over today. The other boys aren't here yet and Haz is still asleep. But come on in. Make yourself at home. I'll call Niall and see if they're on their way.” He said as he saw me standing there awkwardly. I stepped inside. “The lounge is right in there. Would you like some tea? All we have is Yorkshire, it's my favorite. But we have coffee as well. Have to keep that around for Zayn. You know.” I chuckled a little at that. I knew exactly how Zayn was when he didn't have his morning coffee.  
“Thanks Louis. Tea is fine.” I said with a bright smile. I liked Louis a lot. He seemed fun and carefree, a lot like I was before my mom died. I walked into the living room and noticed the piano in the corner. Instantly, my fingers were itching to touch the ivory keys. I hadn't played since my mom passed away.   
“Beautiful isn't it?” Louis asked from behind me. I turned around quickly to see him holding two mugs of tea. He handed me mine and sat on the couch. “It was my mum's but she had to move and didn't have room for it so she let me bring it here. I grew up playing it so I was more than happy to take it. Don't really get the chance to play often anymore. It took the boys and I ages to get it up those stairs.” He laughed at the thought and I laughed too. I could just imagine it in my head. “Do you play?”  
“Yeah. I started taking lessons when I was five but I’d always been fascinated by it. I used to sit at my grandmothers and just press the keys to hear the sounds they could make.” I told him. He slid off the couch and walked towards the piano, setting his mug on the windowsill to the right and plopping down on the bench. The room was suddenly filled with music as he pressed the keys softly, playing a tune I recognized but couldn't quite name. “Louis?” I started, slightly unsure. From what he said, this particular instrument held a lot of memories for him, so I didn't want to impose. He looked up at me curiously. “Would you mind?” I asked. A cheerful smile crossed his face as he slid to the side of the bench, giving me enough room to sit down.  
“Be my guest.” I sat down beside him and began to play. The song was one of my favorites, and from the look of happy realization on his face, I guessed that he enjoyed it as well.

Some things we don't talk about  
Rather do without  
And just hold the smile  
Falling in and out of love  
Ashamed and proud of  
Together all the while

You can never say never  
While we don't know when  
But time and time again  
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Picture, you're the queen of everything  
As far as the eye can see  
Under your command  
I will be your guardian  
When all is crumbling  
To steady your hand

You can never say never  
While we don't know when  
Time, time, time again  
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again  
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

“That was breathtaking.” He said softly.  
“Thanks. It's one of my absolute favorite songs. The Fray is one of my favorite bands so.....” I told him, slightly embarrassed. Usually when people find out that I love The Fray they laugh at me.   
“REALLY!” He squealed. “I LOVE The Fray! They're my favorite band!” I laughed at his excitement. If Zayn and Niall hadn't told me that he was the oldest in the band, I would never believe it. He acts like such a little kid. His fingers found the keys quickly as he started playing Look After You, but he didn't sing along. He just let the music fill the room for a minute before stopping suddenly and looking at me with a serious face. “Stella, can I tell you something?”  
“Yeah sure.” The way he was looking at me made me uncomfortable. Almost like he was trying to see into my soul.  
“I feel very protective over you. I know that may seem odd, I’ve only known you for a few days and we really haven't spent much time together, but I do. I feel like you and I are so similar. To be honest, you remind me of my sister, Lottie. You're very much like her. And I really think you and I are going to be close friends.” I felt a slight tug at my heart. Like I said, I really liked Louis and I knew that he was right. We were going to be close friends.   
“Thanks Louis. That really means so much to me.” He wrapped an arm around me to pull me in for a friendly one armed hug before speaking again.  
“That being said, Stella, I have to be honest. I'm not overly fond of your boyfriend. Last night I saw some things that I wasn't impressed with from him. He threw around a lot of money, something I think he meant to impress me and the boys, and he seemed to not pay a lot of attention to you. I think you're making a massive mistake dating him. Especially when it's quite clear that you would rather be with Niall.” I turned away from him. I honestly had no idea what to say, how to respond to that. He was right, of course, but I knew that I was already in, so I had to keep convincing everyone that I was happy with the way things were going.  
“Look Louis, I really appreciate that and all, but you really have no idea what you're talking about OK.” I told him. I heard him sigh.  
“I just wanted you to know how I felt. I'm a very honest person, Stella. Remember that. If you and I are going to be friends you need to know that I'll always be honest with you and you can always be honest with me. I'll never tell anyone your secrets or feelings. They'll stay locked away inside me forever. If you can honestly tell me you're happy then I’ll let it go and give the lad a chance.” I plastered on my best fake smile and turned back to face him again.  
“I am happy. Really happy. He's really a great guy when you get to know him.” I said. He didn't look completely convinced but didn't push it any further which I was thankful for. I picked up my tea off the coffee table and sat down on the couch as he started to play again. “Over My Head.” A little too close to home if you ask me. Before he even made it to the chorus though, a sleepy, slightly grumpy looking Harry made his way into the living room in only his boxers.  
“I knew bringing that blasted thing here was a bad idea. Boo you know I love it when you play but my head is killing me.” He mumbled, not noticing me sitting on the couch.   
“Someone drink a little too much last night?” I asked. His eyes snapped to me, a look of surprise crossing his face.   
“Oh Hello Stella. Didn't see you there.” He laughed.  
“Oh Haz! Go put some clothes on. And by the way you should have heard Stella play. Bloody brilliant if you ask me.” Louis told him. Harry made his way back into his bedroom and came out a few minutes later in a white v-neck and black skinny jeans, a beanie covering his tangled curls.   
“Where are the other lads? I thought we were going to breakfast. I'm absolutely starving.” He moaned as he plopped down on the couch beside me. Right on cue we heard the familiar sound of Nialls laughter as the door opened to reveal the three missing boys. Niall's eyes caught mine and he grinned.  
“Sorry we're late. Zayn crashed with me last night and it took me ages to wake him.” He said with a laugh. Zayn shot him a glare before making his way into the kitchen, probably for a cup of coffee.   
“Where are all the girlfriends?” I asked. Harry pouted at me. “And boyfriend.....” A smile spread across his face.   
“Josh has family stuff to do today so he said he would meet up with us later.” He sighed happily.  
“So he IS your boyfriend then?” Louis asked. A deep red blush spread across Harry's cheeks as he nodded.  
“Do my eyes deceive me? Or am I actually seeing Harry Edward Styles blush.” Liam teased. Harry's hands immediately went up to cover his crimson face and I wrapped an arm around him. The boys all burst into a fit of laughter, so Harry buried his face into my neck.   
“It's OK Harry. Pay no attention to the mean little boys.” I cooed. I felt him shake with laughter against me.  
“I resent that. I had absolutely nothing to do with this. I was minding my own business in the kitchen like a good lad.” Zayn interjected, suddenly appearing, leaning against a wall with a cup of coffee clutched close to his chest.   
“What about the girls? Where are they at? Don't tell me I’m going to be stuck with you boys alone all day?” I joked.  
“Danielle has a dance rehearsal but she'll meet us for lunch later.” Liam told us.   
“Yeah and Eleanor has class. She should be out for lunch as well.” Louis added.  
“Perrie left for Canada this morning.” Zayn said softly.  
“Awwww Z I didn't know she was leaving.” I pouted. “I barely got to see her at all.”  
“She'll be back in a few weeks.”   
“Nialler....” Louis started curiously. “You've been here almost five minutes and you have yet to complain about being hungry. Is everything alright?”  
“Oh Hey. I am hungry!” Niall responded. We all laughed as Louis rolled his eyes and shook his head. “What?” Niall asked, confused.   
“Let's go get some breakfast shall we?” Harry said, sitting up suddenly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch and out the door as the other boys followed behind us. He and Louis kept me in conversation the whole way to the cafe we had decided to go to, walking on either side of me. I really loved talking to both of them, they were fun and random and silly, but I really wanted to talk to Niall. I fell back a little, letting the two boys get ahead of me and falling into step the blonde god. 

Niall's POV  
“Hey.” She said as she looked up at me with those big green eyes. I couldn't look at her. It hurt. I was glad as hell to see her, really I was. But I didn't want to have to think about how someone else could make her smile reach her eyes. I didn't want to think about how someone else could simply just make her smile. When we had met Conner the night before, I tried my best to stay away. I didn't want to make things awkward for either of us. I didn't need her boyfriend to know that the last three nights in a row I had had dreams about her. About falling in love. About spending the night. About kissing and touching and feeling. It had been quite embarrassing really. Waking up every morning for the past 3 days to Harry shaking my shoulders, telling me to 'sort myself out' before coming over for breakfast with the lads. Walking into Zayn's kitchen and hearing him beg me to try and be a little quieter please because he can hear me all the way in his own flat (Which in all honesty isn't saying much, as his bedroom borders mine and I’ve heard him and Perrie going at it LOADS of times). Having Louis moan incessantly throughout breakfast, just so he can see my cheeks flush red. Yeah I really didn't need any of that getting out. But it was so god damned hard to stay away from her when her boyfriend was buying us all drinks and flirting with other girls all night. She had looked so uncomfortable. So hurt and confused. But there was nothing I could do. She didn't want me. She wanted him. He won.   
“Hey.” I finally said with a fake smile. I tossed my arm around her small shoulders for effect. I needed her to know we were OK. That we were friends. “So Conner seems, um, interesting?”  
“Oh I know. I'm really sorry about last night. He isn't usually like that. I think he was just nervous or something. You know meeting Zayn and a bunch of guys he doesn't know.” She sighed. She didn't sound like she even believed herself.  
“Oh it's OK. He, um, seems like a nice guy. It must have really been uncomfortable for him.” I agreed. She shook her head.  
“Yeah. I'm sure. But hey lets not talk about it. How was the studio yesterday? Liam mentioned last night that you guys spent the whole day there. Did you guys get a lot done?” she asked. She seemed much more interested in this subject than talking about her relationship and it made my heart soar.   
“Oh yeah it was great! I love being in the studio. It makes me feel so at home you know? Just being able to sit around and play every instrument in my reach and write. It's amazing really.” I gushed.   
“Aw Niall that's so awesome. You look so happy talking about it. It's so great that you get to do what you love everyday. I'd love to be able to do that. To play everything and sing all day long. To write all the time and have people really listen.” she said softly.  
“You know, you could.” I told her. She looked at me skeptically. “I mean it Stella. You're voice truly is amazing and you're a really great guitar player. What's stopping you?” I asked.   
“The fact that I know it'll never work out for me. We can't all be little lucky leprechauns Niall.” She ruffled my hair as she said this and I just rolled my eyes.   
“Hey Nialler! Did you know that Stella is an exceptional piano player?” Louis called back to us, turning around as he walked, not even bothering to pay attention to where he was going. I turned to look at her as if to ask if what he said was true. A deep red blush painted her cheeks.  
“I'm OK I guess.” she stammered.  
“Don't let her fool you Ni. She played for me this morning. It was absolutely brilliant. Almost made me a little jealous of her talent.” Louis laughed, turning back around and throwing his arm around Harry's waist.   
“You're just full of surprises there aren't ya?” I teased as I ruffled her hair this time. Her face, if possible, turned an even darker shade of red. “How many instruments CAN you play?”  
“Five.” she states simply. My eyes practically bug out of my head and she laughs as she names them all. “Piano and guitar, obviously, also bass, drums and violin. I took lessons for all of them as a kid. Well all except for guitar. I taught myself to play that on my own. I haven't played the violin in years so I’m probably really shitty at it now. And I’m not the best bass player. Piano and guitar are my favorite to play, honestly.”   
“She's pretty hardcore on the drum solo's that's for sure.” Zayn chimed in as his phone rang. His eyes lit up when he looked at the screen and I knew immediately that it was Perrie.   
“So you're a musical prodigy?” Liam asked, coming up to walk on my other side.  
“I don't know I guess. I've just always been fascinated by anything musical. When I was a kid I used to be able to pick up anything and play it and sing whatever songs came to mind. My dad was in a band when I was a kid. They used to tour with Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphy's a lot so I was kind of always around it. And my mom used to sing all the time. That's the one thing that was always constant in my life. She would literally sing everyday up until.....” Her eyes welled up with tears and I squeezed her tighter, pulling her body into my side and kissing the top of her head. I shot a quick glance at Liam, begging him not to ask, but the look on his face told me he understood that the subject was off limits.   
“GUYS!!!! We're here!” Louis called back enthusiastically. I held Stella back, letting all the boys walk in in front of us then turned to her once the door closed. The tears were streaming down her face.  
“Stella.” I breathed, hugging her tightly. She buried her face in my neck and sniffled. It hurt me to see her in this kind of pain, but I was glad she felt comfortable enough to talk to me, or in this case cry on my shoulder about it. I wanted to be able to be her rock. The person she went to when she needed comforting. I wanted to be the one who made her laugh. I wanted to be the one to bring that bright smile to her perfect face. And I would do everything in my power to make it so. After a few minutes she pulled away, her eyes puffy and red rimmed, but still as beautiful as ever. It almost made her seem even more perfect just knowing that she wasn't perfect at all. I'd spent so much time in the past few days, even in the past few weeks that I’d been going into Rags and watching her, thinking about her as this flawless person, untouchable, almost angelic, and it made me like her instantly. But seeing her like this, human, broken, made me realize in that one moment, that I, Niall James Horan, had fallen deeply and madly in love with this girl.


	8. The Difference Between One And Two

Niall's POV  
“So what does everyone want to do now?” Liam asked us all as we walked out of the cafe after breakfast. I, personally, had just eaten so much that I was ready for a nap, although I didn't think that would be an option.   
“We should go see a film.” Zayn suggested.   
“Ooooh yeah let's go see Avengers!” Harry shouted. We all laughed at his enthusiasm.   
“Haz maybe we should let Stella have a say in that. Maybe she doesn't want to see a super hero movie.” Liam replied. We all turned to Stella with questioning gazes and I noticed that she was staring at Liam like he was insane. I chuckled a little bit at the look on her face. “What?” Liam asked her.  
“Are you kidding me Liam? Robert Downey Jr zipping around the sky in a suit made of iron? COUNT ME IN!” She squealed. All of us burst out laughing. “Besides, I wanna see if Mark Ruffalo can make a better Hulk than Edward Norton. My guess is no, but I guess we'll see.”  
“Wow Stell, didn't take you for an action fan.” Louis laughed.  
“She's the reason I can't watch any of the Transformers movies anymore.” Zayn groaned.  
“Whatever. You just have shitty taste in movies.” She laughed at him, nudging him with her shoulder.  
“So we're agreed on Avengers then?” Liam asked us all. We nodded. “Excellent.” We all began walking towards the theater that was right down the street, Harry and Louis at the front as usual, arms linked as they skipped down the sidewalk. Liam and Zayn followed closely behind them immersed in some serious conversation about what Liam was going to get for Danielle for her birthday. And Stella and I brought up the rear, arguing over whether who was better between Iron Man and Captain America.  
“Seriously Niall! He wears a suit of IRON! And he's a genius to boot. That makes him WAY cooler than freaking Captain America.” Stella told me, shaking her head and punching me softly in the arm.  
“Are you mental! He's Captain America! He doesn't need some stupid metal suit. He's FUCKING CAPTAIN AMERICA! He's got muscle and skill. What does Tony Stark have? A big brain and a bank account. He needs a big metal suit to protect him from harm.” I shot back. She laughed in my face.   
“OK first of all, he doesn't need a suit to protect him. He can fight. And he has muscles too. Sexy ass muscles. Plus he's hilarious! Way funnier than Steve Rogers. You seriously need to get it together Niall. I mean I thought you were cool. Obviously I was wrong.” She teased. I stopped walking, a pout forming on my lips.  
“That wasn't even nice!” I whined. She turned around to face me when she realized I wasn't walking beside her anymore, trying hard not to smile at the look on my face. I pushed my lower lip out a little farther, attempting to make my eyes look even sadder. She huffed at my expression, a flustered look making it's way onto her face.  
“That's not fair. You can't pout at me like that. Now I feel bad. I was just teasing you. You know I still think you're cool. Coolest guy I’ve ever met.” she told me, holding out her hand for me to take. My heart leapt into my throat at the gesture. I didn't know whether or not I should take it what with her having a boyfriend and all. My head told me it wouldn't be right but my heart, taking complete control of my awkward body, made me lift my own hand and grasp hers tightly, lacing our fingers together. Her fingers fight perfectly between mine and I wished that love could always be this simple. But she wasn't in love with me. No matter how much I wanted to pretend that she was.

Stella's POV  
My heart pounded in my chest as he took my hand, our fingers fitting together like the pieces of a puzzle. A small part of me was concerned that he could hear it, something that I found incredibly embarrassing. A larger part of me wanted him to know exactly what he did to me.   
“Uh Stella....” His voice called out to me, breaking my trance. “You're phone is chirping.” I pulled my iPhone our of my back pocket with my free hand and unlocked it to find two new messages.  
Conner: Hey babe. I miss you.  
Danielle: Hey girl hey! I'm out of rehearsal. What are you guys doing?   
I quickly texted Danielle back letting her know we were going to see a movie and to meet us there then slipped my phone back in my pocket, looking up to where Liam was walking right in front of me.  
“Hey Liam, Danielle just texted me. She's out of rehearsal and I told her to meet us at the theater.” I called up to him. He turned around pouting at me.  
“She didn't text ME.” She whined. I rolled my eyes as Niall laughed that magical laugh beside me. Those two were so cute it hurt. It made me wish that Conner and I could be like that. He just wasn't that type of boyfriend though. He was sweet and a gentleman, but he wasn't as attentive as Liam was with Danielle. And he was a huge flirt. It was really annoying and I know that that was the reason why the boys hadn't taken to kindly to him the night before. But in his defense, he hadn't been in a relationship in a while. He was so used to being single that it was just natural for him. Habits like those are hard to break. Plus, Harry and Josh were in a relationship and that didn't stop Harry from being a flirt. Josh even laughed about it while we were at the club. Harry would never actually do anything with anyone else and I forced myself to believe that Conner was the same. He wouldn't ever cheat on me. He liked me too much. Maybe as our relationship progressed, he would become more like Liam. Maybe soon he would start treating me the way Niall treated me. I could only hope so. It would make getting over my crush on Niall a lot easier. And to be completely honest, I really could see a future with Conner. He was an excellent person and he really was gorgeous. He was tall and handsome, with curly brown hair and blue eyes. They weren't as beautiful as Niall's, but they were lovely in their own way. He worked out on a regular basis so he had a great body. He was a model, like Jessica, and a pretty successful one at that. His life was a little messy, his dad, who was an actor, had died of a drug overdose when Conner was 14 and his mom had been remarried 3 or 4 times. He had grown up in LA until his dad died and then moved to London with his mother and her second husband. From what he had told me, he had been a bit of a wild child until he turned 20, and then decided to calm it down and get serious about life. Being out with him, at clubs and parties and such, I could definitly tell that side of him was still there. It scared me a little bit but I also knew that he didn't do any drugs or anything like that, and he knew his limits with alcohol. I could see our relationship working out a lot better than anything I could have with Niall. Mainly because Conner was around a lot more than Niall could be. The longest Conner could potentially be away from me was a few days at a time, whereas Niall could be away for months at a time. Plus he was in the biggest band around. Girls were throwing themselves at his feet everywhere he went. I would never have those problems with Conner. He was gorgeous and all, but models really didn't illicit the same reactions when they walked down a busy street as a world famous pop star did.   
“YAY! We're hear!!!” I heard Louis squeal like a little girl. I laughed at him. He was such a goofball. We all walked into the theater where Danielle was waiting for us and purchased our tickets. Niall paid for mine, which made me feel uncomfortable. Almost like this was a date, which it wasn't.   
“Think of it as a trade. I buy your movie ticket and you can buy me a beer later.” he said, rolling his eyes as I protested. I sighed.  
“Fine.” I huffed as Eleanor and Josh both walked in the doors to the theater. Harry and Louis must have texted them, I thought to myself. Josh immediately made his way over to Harry and wrapped his arms around his curly haired boyfriend, nuzzling his face in Harry's neck. Harry blushed slightly at the attention, but kissed the top of Josh's head and hugged him tightly to his chest. They really were a cute couple. “Aww.” I cooed at them. Harry just grinned widely at me and rolled his eyes, planting another kiss on josh's head and leading him into our assigned theater. All the couples split up to sit in different areas with Liam and Danielle sitting in the front, Louis and Eleanor sitting to the left side, Harry and Josh sitting to the right side and Zayn sitting by himself in the middle. Niall and I made our way to the back, sitting in the very last row and watching all of our friends together.   
“You know,” He whispered, even though the nine of us were the only ones in the theater and the previews hadn't even started yet, “I've never seen Harry so happy. Him and Josh are really good together.” I nodded.  
“They are pretty cute. So are Liam and Dani. I've never seen two people who are more perfect for each other in my life.” I added.  
“It kind of almost makes you want to hurl doesn't it.” He laughed.  
“Yeah kinda.” I agreed, laughing along with him. “I bet it's really weird for you, all of your friends being in relationships.” He shook his head.  
“Nah not really I mean I’m used to it. I mean it was nice when Harry and Zayn were both single because I we could go out and hang out when Liam and Louis go on their double dates and stuff, or to have someone too goof around with when the couples get all romantic and mushy, but I’m glad they're all happy. I love those boys with all of my heart and I think that Josh and the girls are perfect for them. Yeah there are times where I feel a little left out when all of us are hanging out together, but they do a pretty good job of trying to include me in everything.” He told me honestly.  
“I guess that's a good way to look at it.” I laughed as the movie started.


	9. The Sleepover

Niall's POV  
“Hey Nialler can I come over for a bit? Jess has some boy over so I told her that I would stay somewhere but Conner is out with his friends, Zayn's is in Bradford and Louis is in Doncaster.” Stella asked me through the phone.   
“Of course Stell. You know you're always welcome here.” I replied. Of course I wanted her there. I loved having her around. It's been a three since we met and she had quickly become one of my best friends. Whenever she wasn't with Conner she was with me or Louis. All of us boys had welcomed her into our group so fast. The cool thing about Stella is that she was similar too each of is some way or another. She was polite and sweet just like Liam. Everything was always “please” and “Thank you” with her and Liam absolutely adored her for that. He thought she would be a good influence on all of us boys. But she had a childish side like Louis, which is why the two of them got along almost better than he did with Harry. They would play pranks on everyone and just generally act like complete and total goofballs. She was also incredibly charming in the same way that Harry was. I had come to the conclusion that that was a green eyes thing. They both had the same exact green eyes, although I found hers infinitely more attractive. One look in them and she could get you to do anything she wanted. Like Zayn, she was deep, sensitive, emotional. She could be moody and mysterious and she liked to sleep a lot. Her and I were similar in a few ways. She, like me, always had the itch to play music. If there was an instrument in the room she had to play it. She was also pretty athletic which came in handy when none of the lads wanted to play late night football. I'll admit, she was much better than me, something I would never tell the boys. And she was constantly laughing. She found the most ridiculous things amusing in the same way that I did and her laugh was infectious. Suffice it to say that being around her was like a drug for me. I could never get enough.  
“Aw thanks Ni. I'll be over soon.” she giggled before hanging up. Ten minutes later she was at my door, looking perfect as always in her black skinny jeans and a white loose fitting v-neck. I could see the tattoo she had recently gotten just below her collarbone peaking out under her shirt. Her hair was wavy as usual and she had on one of my old beanies that she had stolen a few weeks back. I pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly,burying my face in her hair and breathing in her scent. God she was perfect, it was almost too much to stand.  
“Hey” she said with a laugh as I refused to let go. “It's nice to see you too Ni.”  
“Hi.” I giggled into her neck. She pushed me off, rolling her eyes.  
“You're such a dork.” I pouted at her, disappointed at the loss of contact as I followed her to my couch, shutting the door behind us.   
“Wanna watch a movie?” it was an excuse. I was grasping at straws. I needed to be able to touch her. To hold her. And cuddling on the couch watching movies was the only way that would happen. The thing that I loved the most about Stella, the thing that drove me the most insane, was how affectionate she was with me. It was really only when we were alone, or just with the guys, because obviously she had a boyfriend and didn't want the entire world to think we were dating or something, but I was OK with it as long as I got the opportunity to feel her skin on mine. She had no idea what those small moments did to me.  
“Yeah sure. Can we watch Anchorman though? I still can't believe you've never seen it.” she agreed with a laugh.   
“Stella I don't even have it.” my eyes rolled instinctively at her forgetfulness. She reached into the large tote bag she had set next to the couch.  
“Why do you think I brought it with me then?” she smirked. This girl was good, that was for sure. I took the DVD from her and popped it into my DVD player before settling myself on the left side of the couch, as far away from her as possible, wanting to see the pout I knew was coming cross her face. Sure enough, she pushed her bottom lip out and stared at me with sad eyes, silently begging for me to come closer. I smirked at her, not giving up that easily. I needed to prove to myself that I was stronger than the feelings she evoked in me. She sighed loudly, finally giving in, and shifted closer to me, leaning her back into my chest, and I rested my chin on the top of her head, wrapping my arm around her waist. She cuddled close as the movie started. It was actually pretty funny. I had never really been a big Will Farrell fan, but I think she was starting to convert me. I felt her body shake with laughter along with mine throughout the movie, enjoying the sounds she made. She really did have the cutest laugh I had ever heard. Conner really didn't deserve her. They fought all the time, I know because I’ve heard it. He'd call her a million times whenever she was out with me and the other lads. She would ignore it for a while but finally she'd huff and answer the phone. What ensued after were usually some of the worst arguments I had ever heard. It reminded me of my parents right before they split. I was little, only five when they divorced, but I can still remember the raging fights they used to get into. They, thankfully, get along fine now that they aren't together, they just weren't right for each other. And Conner wasn't right for Stella. I was. I also really hated the way he treated her. I knew from talking to Zayn about him that he had been after her for a while, so I was surprised to see that he really didn't seem to care all that much about her feelings when they were around each other. He was a typical LA type, which wasn't all that surprising considering that's where he grew up. He always wanted to be the center of attention and reveled in the idea of girls hanging all over him, even if they did so right in front of his incredibly understanding girlfriend. He would constantly make comments about her looks and in the entire 2 months they had been dating, I don't think I had ever heard him tell her she was beautiful, something I never missed an opportunity to say to her. Ever since I’d known her she had been insecure, and he didn't help at all.  
“Ni..... Hey Ni..... the movie's over. Are you awake?” she asked, my thoughts coming to a hault at the sound of her voice.  
“Oh yeah sorry. Just zoned out. What do you want to watch now?”  
“I don't know. You pick.” she said, shifting away from me so that I could put something else in. She watched me intently as I did so and all I wanted was to know what she was thinking. I found the movie I wanted, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part two. She always got emotional at the end and I never missed a chance to pull her close and comfort her. I had to cherish these rare moments that we had when they happened because I knew in a short amount of time, Conner would be calling her, asking her to come over to his flat. That thought really burned me up inside. The thought of them together, lying in his bed, his hands on her. I knew that they still hadn't had sex yet, but that didn't mean they hadn't fooled around, even though I hoped beyond hope that they hadn't. I sat away from her again as the movie started to play, my body ridged, frustrated at the thought. “Nialler, is everything OK?” she asked letting her fingers graze my arm softly and I mentally kicked myself for not putting a shirt on. My jaw clenched. The first thought that ran through my head was to tell her the truth. But that would just be awkward and she might get up and leave. So I thought for a second about what I could say to her.  
“I'm fine Stella. I'm just thinking.” I may have been a little overly defensive, because I knew she immediately saw right through me.   
“Niall. What's wrong? You know that you.....” her phone interrupted her. She sighed heavily.  
“Let me guess. Conner?” I snapped. Whoa where did my attitude come from?  
“Hold on a sec.” she whispered, getting up and walking towards the kitchen as she answered the phone. “Conner, hey....... oh yeah sure that's cool...... yeah have fun....... no I’m just hanging out with El...... No Conner I haven't talked to..... Ugh Conner just have fun with the guys OK. I'll see you tomorrow..... yeah OK whatever...... Bye.” well that didn't sound pleasant.  
“Why did you lie to him?” I asked curiously.  
“Honestly?” she asked. I nodded. “Because he thinks you like me. He's afraid I’m going to cheat on him with you.” The way she said it made me feel like the idea of us together didn't really bother her, which made me want to smile. Unfortunately that wouldn't be very appropriate. “And he always gets so pissed and wants to argue whenever he know we're together. I just don't want to have to listen to my stupid phone go off all night.”  
“All night? You mean you're not going over there?” I asked. This was seriously confusing me.   
“No he's going out with his friends. Shit now I don't know where I’m going to stay.” I suddenly had an idea. A perfect, wonderful, possibly incredibly stupid idea.  
“SLEEPOVER!” I yelled, jumping up and down on the couch. She laughed.  
“Are you sure Ni? I'll need to go back home to grab some clothes and stuff, but where am I going to sleep?” she asked me.  
“You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch. No big deal. And I have clothes. You can wear them. I'll go get you some. Let's order Chinese and watch lots of movies and have a pillow fight?” I know that I sounded like and idiot, but the idea of her staying the night just seemed so great to me. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before looking up and grinning madly at me.  
“OK lets do it!” she yelled, joining me in jumping on the couch.

Stella's POV  
It was 4 in the morning, and I hadn't slept. I didn't like the idea of being alone in Nialls bed. I hopped out of bed and walked out into the living room to find him sprawled out face down on the couch. His left arm and leg were both hanging out the edge and his mouth was hanging open just slightly. He looked like an angel. I knew that I would regret waking him up, but I needed him to be able to get some sleep myself. I pressed my cold hands against his burning skin and he jumped slightly.  
“Wha..... Stell?” he asked, his voice husky with sleep. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his big blue eyes.  
“Ni I can't sleep. Will you come cuddle with me?” I asked him. It was actually kind of embarrassing. I mean I still had a crush on him and everything. He, of course, didn't know that, but all the other boys did and they teased me about it relentlessly. Liam was the only one who never actually made fun of me for it. He was convinced that I needed to break up with Conner so that Niall and I could be together. I was convinced that Niall thought I was a dork.  
“Yeah. Come on lets go.” he said sleepily. I followed him back into the bedroom, checking him out the whole way. He had stripped himself down to his boxers to sleep in so I had a pretty nice view of his flawless body. All of his muscles were toned just the right amount and his normally pasty Irish skin had just a hint of a tan. His hair stuck up in all directions, just the way I liked it and his Calvin Kleins hugged his ass and crotch in all the right ways. Shit. I was in for it. To be 100% honest, I knew that he was the boy that I wanted to lose it too. He was perfect, inside and out, and he was a virgin just like me. It would have been the perfect situation. I really wasn't sure I would be able to control myself with him waring such little clothing. He laid down on his back on the bed and motioned for me do the same. I climbed up next to him and he pulled me into his arms. I pressed my body against his side, pushing my face into the crook of his neck, smelling his sweet scent. He giggled. “Hey that tickles.”  
“Sorry.” I whispered against his skin. I let my hand rest on his toned chest and he reached his hand up to and placed it on top of mine, his other hand tangling in my long hair. It felt amazing being in this position with him. “Good night Ni.” I said softly.  
“night Stella.” he whispered. My eyelids grew heavy after a while and I was starting to drift off when I hear his voice softly cut through the darkness.  
“if I’m louder would you see me? Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me? Cause we are the same. You save me but when you leave it's gone again.” he sang softly. He obviously thought I was asleep and I didn't want to let him know he was wrong, so I tried my hardest to control my breathing and keep my eyes closed. “Oh Stella. I wish you understood how much you mean to me.” he said, fingers tracing my arm. “I would go to the ends of the earth for you. I love you.” and with that he fell asleep. I waited until I heard his soft snores fill my ears before finally saying the words I’d been dying to say since the day we met.  
“I love you too Niall.”


	10. I Wish

Niall's POV  
I woke up the next morning to Stella. The perfect sight to see. She was laying on her side facing me, face buried in my chest. Her long blonde hair covered her face and shoulders in a tangled mess and her arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, my hand resting on her bum. I knew she she was a sound sleeper, much like Zayn, so I took the chance to press her body as close to mine as possible, before realizing that I, being gifted with a penis by the grace of god, had a serious case of morning wood. Shit. It was obvious from the second she pushed herself away from me that she noticed it, her face as red as I assumed that mine was, but she didn't say anything about it. She just laughed softly for a few minutes. I couldn't help but laugh sheepishly as well. But then she did something that took me by surprise. The laughter faded from her face, replaced by a look of curiosity. She looked down at the bulge in my briefs as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. My heart raced in my chest and I watched silently as her small fingers traced the outline through the fabric. What the hell was she doing. Did she forget that we were best friends? Did she forget about Conner? Did she know that every night I dream of her in every possible position an scenario imaginable? I let out a soft sigh as her fingers danced over the thin fabric, resisting the urge to buck my hips into her hand. I wanted the friction, but I knew that if I moved I’d scare her off and the last thing I wanted was for this moment to end. To be honest, I was waiting for her to realize what she was doing and run out, never to talk to me again, but she obviously had other plans. She pulled her fingers away from me, but only for a second before pressing her palm to my bulge. I bit my lip hard to hold back a moan. She couldn't possible know what she was doing to me. She couldn't possible realize how much she was teasing me, could she? I chanced a glance up at her face and sure enough, her features remained set in and innocent curiosity as opposed to the naughty smirk I was expecting. My eyes snapped back down to where the action was quickly as I felt her hand slide down my briefs. She let her fingers caress my aching member softly before wrapping them around it and pumping slowly. I moaned, no longer able to hold it in any more, and pressed my face into her neck, my fingers coming up to tangle in her hair.   
“Mmmm Stella.” I moaned softly into her neck, my breathing ragged. At that, she quickened her pace, squeezing me just a little bit tighter. I felt my whole body tense up, my limbs tingling, my breathing speed up rapidly. I gripped her hair tighter, burying my face even further into her skin and felt myself release all over her hand. My body started to relax and I panted into her neck as she kept her hand on me, her movements stilled. We stayed silent for a long time while I regained my composure and tried to wrap my head around what just happened. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure this was really. That it wasn’t' a dream and her hand was really down my pants. But that would be too obvious and would make me look like a dork. What did this mean? Surly I couldn't ask her. That would lead to the embarrassing conversation where she would remind me of her boyfriend, tell me that we're just friends and claim temporary insanity. Not that that would be a decent enough excuse. She pulled her hand away from me and my whole body ached for her touch again. For something more than a quick hand job. I wanted to feel her skin on mine. To see her splayed out underneath me, her nails clawing at my back as she moaned my name over and over and.... well crap. I felt myself hardening again and sat up quickly. “I should, um, go take a shower.” I said quickly, then jumped out of bed and sped off into the bathroom before she had a chance to say anything.  
When I came out 20 minutes later she wasn't in my bedroom, despite that fact that her clothes were laying on my floor. She can't have left then, if she was still wearing my sweats and t shirt. Sure enough, when I walked out into the kitchen, she was standing at the fridge in my clothes. She looked adorable. My sweats hung low on her hips and she had the back of my shirt tied up in a knot against the small of her back. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a messy bun with a few pieces hanging down and framing her face and she was wearing her glasses. I'd never admit this to anyone except for Harry, but whenever she wore those glasses it drove me absolutely crazy. Standing there, watching her searching through my fridge, fresh out of bed and looking more gorgeous than ever, I started to wonder if Conner realized how lucky he was. He had the most incredible girl in the world as his girlfriend, and he had stayed out all night last night with his friends instead of spending time with her, not even worried that she was off doing her own thing. What would he do if he found out that she was with me. It really was no secret that he didn't like me. He had taken a liking to the other boys because they were all in relationships, although he was a little bit awkward around Harry, who still had a tendency to flirt with everyone, despite the fact that he had Josh. But Conner had made it quite clear that he didn't appreciate the amount of time that Stella and I spent together. That he noticed the way that I looked at her. That he could clearly see that I worshiped the ground that she walked on. He was constantly rude to me whenever she was out of earshot and never missed an opportunity to cut me down with a biting remark, often passing it off as a joke just so Stella wouldn't realize it. He knew that I would never fight back for fear of upsetting her and it obviously made the whole thing that much more enjoyable to him. I knew that it meant a lot to her that Louis and I both got along with him so I kept my mouth shut. I just wanted her to be happy, honestly, but she didn't really seem all that happy with him. When she was with me and the boys she always seemed to light up the whole world, but when Conner was around he never let her shine. Although, she always shined in my eyes.  
“Oh, hey. You need to go to the store or something.” She said awkwardly when she turned around and saw me leaning against the wall. I just nodded, not trusting my mouth to speak. She obviously wanted to completely pretend that nothing happened between us. I wanted to shove my tongue down her throat. Guess who won that round?  
“Yeah no I know. You know me, I’m too lazy. I'd rather go to Nando's or something.” I sighed. This was damn stupid. We needed to talk about it. “Look Stell...”  
“Ni I really have to go. I have to meet Lou for lunch in like an hour and as it is right now I'm barely going to have enough time to get home and shower.” She said, cutting me off. So damn stubborn.  
“Why don't you shower here?” I pressed. She raised an eyebrow at me.  
“I don't have any clean clothes.” She countered.  
“I have a few shirts that might fit you fine.” I shot back.   
“Ugh fine!” She groaned, rolling her eyes at how persistent I was. “You're such a pain in the ass Horan.” She added with a smirk. I glared at her before lunging forward, chasing her around the kitchen and into the living room. She was quick, but not quick enough and I caught hold of her waist, hurling her onto the couch. My fingers quickly found her sides and I tickled every spot I could find on her that I knew would make her squeal.  
“NIALL! PLEASE! QUIIIIIIIIT!” She screamed after a few minutes. She brought her hands up to my chest and pushed back lightly so that I was leaning against the armrest of the couch. I stopped tickling her and wrapped my arms around her pulling her into my chest and hugging her tightly.  
“Oh Stella! You're just so cuddly. Like a teddy!” I squealed. She struggled against my grip, but finally managed to break free and jump up and away from the couch out of my reach.  
“Nialler you are so weird!” She laughed. “Come on grab me a shirt. I really need to shower. Ugh I’m gonna have to use your boy shampoo. How awkward will that be. I'm going to smell like a freaking BOY all day long!”   
“What are you saying, that I don't smell good?” I pouted. She smiled.  
“No daaaaaaarling you smell FABULOUS!”She called out as she walked up the stairs towards my bedroom. I quickly followed.  
“You, my friend, have been spending waaaaaaay too much time with Louis.” 

Stella's POV (An hour later)  
Louis and I sat at Nandos in complete silence for literally 20 minutes after greeting each other. It was pretty plain to me that he could tell something was on my mind, he kept looking up at me with his eyebrows raised and then refocusing on his menu every minute or two. I finally sighed, deciding that I should probably spill my guts. Louis and I had gotten so close in the last few months. I was probably closer to him now than anyone in the world aside from my dad. He was the brother that I never had. Zayn and I had always been best friends, but lately he'd been such a moody douche, probably because he'd only seen Perrie twice in the last three months and he really needed to get laid. But Lou and I, we just connected. It's funny really, how easy it is for us. Probably the easiest relationship I’ve ever been a part of. We never fought, we were always honest with each other and we could always tell what the other was feeling. And because of that, Harry and I had also become close. Liam always called us the three musketeers because we're ALWAYS doing something stupid together.   
“Stella?” He asked cautiously, before I could get any words out. “Is that Niall's shirt?” I looked down at the shirt Niall had lent me. It was his green 'Free Hugs' shirt. He didn't want to let me wear it but I pouted at him until he finally said yes.  
“Yeah.....”  
“Why are you wearing Nialls shirt.... And his beanie.” Louis asked.  
“How did you even know this was his?” I asked curiously.  
“I gave him that for his birthday last year.” Lou said simply. I sighed.  
“OK look I have to tell you something. But you can't be all judgy about it OK. I already know it was fucking stupid as hell.” I told him. He raised an eyebrow again.  
“Spill.” was all he said.  
“OK so last night I went over to his place because I needed somewhere to stay. Jess was having a boy over and Conner was out and you and Zayn were both back home...” I started  
“Why didn't you go to Harry or Liam?” He asked, not in a judgmental way, just seeming curious.  
“Because Liam and Danielle had a date and I was not about to walk into your place and risk seeing Harry and Josh butt ass naked on the couch again like last time. Honestly, I probably would have just gone to Nialls anyway, though. But anyways, so I went over there and we were watching movies and cuddling on the couch. Lou don't look at me like that....” He was giving me the sassiest look I’d ever seen on his face, which is really saying something because I think we all know how sassy Louis Tomlinson can be on a regular basis.  
“Well Stella honestly, you're telling me about cuddling with Niall while your BOYFRIEND was out with his friends. Conner may not be my favorite person in the world but I still don't think that's right.” He said to me. Well this was a bad idea.....  
“You know Lou, I don't think I wanna talk about this anymore. Especially if you're just going to lecture me because this story only gets worse and I already know I’m an asshole for what I did.” I snapped. He looked shocked at my response. Louis and I never fight and I never talk to him like that.  
“I'm sorry. I am you know that. Please just tell me what's going on. You look so conflicted Stell and you know I just want to help.” He apologized softly. I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time.  
“OK fine. But please Lou please understand that I’m totally at a loss here. I have no fucking clue what the hell I’m doing right now. I wasn't really planning on staying over there last night. I was gonna go to Conner’s when he got home but then he called me and said that he was gonna be drinking and he didn't drive so he was staying at a friends. And Niall was just so.... Ugh I don't know he got so excited over the prospect of me staying and hanging out all night I couldn't say no. I didn't WANT to say no. And he told me that he would sleep on the couch but I couldn't sleep so we ended up sleeping in his bed together and cuddling. Louis it was so nice. I hate to say that, I really do because it makes me feel like I’m cheating and I didn't even.... We didn't you know..... Although.... Ugh I can't tell you this it's so awkward!” I sighed. He took my hand in his, squeezing it tightly.  
“Stella come on. It's OK I promise I won't judge you. Just tell me what you did and we'll fix it together. I promise.”   
“I may or may not have given him a hand job.” I said finally. He pulled his hand away from mine quickly, eyes growing wide.  
“Um, well now that's awkward.” he said with a small smile. I buried my face in my hands, my cheeks growing hotter and hotter by the second. It was so unbelievably embarrassing.  
“Boo I’ve NEVER done anything like that before! And I feel like such a cheater! God I’m so horrible! How could I do that!”  
“Stella it's alright. It's really not that big of a deal.” He said soothingly, trying to hide his laughter.  
“I'm glad you fucking think this is funny Tomlinson.” I snapped, glaring at him. That really set him off and he burst into a fit of laughter. People were staring at us like we were crazy. It took him a few minutes to calm down but when he finally did, he looked at me, amused but apologetic.  
“I'm so sorry Stella but seriously this isn't that bad. I'm sure Niall doesn't have a problem with it either.” He teased.  
“You wanna know the worst part Lou? I actually kinda enjoyed doing it. Is that weird? Like his face and the noises he was making.....” Louis shoved his fingers in his ears.  
“No. NO! Just please stop I don NOT need to hear this. Lalalalalalala.....” He said loudly. I laughed. He kept humming to himself for a few minutes until he was sure I wouldn't say any more before finally letting his hands fall back to the table. “God Stella what are you going to do? Are you going to tell Conner? Have you and Niall even talked about it? Because you need to, you know.”  
“Ugh I was afraid you were going to say that. No Lou I haven’t' it was too awkward. And honestly, afterward, we had this awkward moment and then it passed. I don't think it really changed anything between us. He still thinks I'm a dork and I’m still crushing on him. But I love Conner and I don't want to hurt him. If I tell him he'll just get upset.” I said honestly. I didn't really want to have the Niall fight with Conner again, considering we had it on a weekly basis. He always thought there was something going on between us, even though there wasn't. At least not until now. “Wow I’m really fucked up aren’t I?”  
“Stella that's not it is it? Is there another reason you don't want to tell him?” Louis asked.  
“I just don't want to fight with him. And I don't want him to..... um, expect anything. You know? Like I don't want him to think that I would.... do that..... with him.” I stuttered. Louis laughed again.  
“Stella as much as I think you should tell him, because honesty is always the best policy, if you're afraid he's going to pressure you then you shouldn't. Maybe that's not the most sound advice I’ve ever given you, but I don't want him to push you to do something you aren't comfortable with. Do you think you would ever...... You know?”   
“Honestly, I don't know if I feel comfortable with that. I love him and all but I just..... I don't know with Niall I just thought, what the hell. I knew that he wouldn't push or think I’m weird or hate me or anything. I knew that he wouldn't try to take it further. But with Conner I just don't really feel comfortable doing something like that. I don't know is that bad? I mean he is my boyfriend. And what's Niall? He's my best friend, yeah but like, so are you and I would NEVER do that to you. No offense.” I added the last part with a laugh.  
“Uh yeah none taken. Wouldn't want you to. That would border close to incest and I’m not into that.” He laughed along with me.  
“Why does my life have to be so complicated Lou?” I whined.  
“I don't know Stell. I just don't know. But remember you've got me and together we can get through anything. But you need to talk to Niall. You HAVE to.” He advised. I sighed one final time.  
“Yeah. I know.”

Niall's POV  
“Harry, are you home? Can we talk?” I called out through Harry and Louis' flat. Obviously Lou wasn't home, he was out with Stella, but I'm kinda worried that Josh is there and I can't have this conversation in front of him.  
“Niall?” I heard Harry call from the kitchen. He walked out into the hall, dressed only in his boxers, a cup of tea in his hands. “What's up?”  
“Is Josh here?” I asked him. He shook his head. “Good. I need to talk to you about something. Something really awkward and personal.”  
“Look Niall I like ya buddy, but you're just not my type anymore, ya know.” He joked, flashing me a cheeky smile. I glared at him.  
“Shut it Styles. This is serious. Something happened with Stella and I’m FREAKING out.” I snapped.  
“What happened? Are you OK?” He asked concerned.  
“Um well she kinda stayed over last night and slept in my bed. We didn't, you know, have sex or anything, but this morning when we woke up we kinda.... had an” awkward moment.” I said.  
“What kind of awkward moment?” He asked, turning back towards the kitchen and waving for me to follow. I did as he silently asked and he set about the kitchen making another cup of tea, having given me the one he had so obviously made for himself. I took a sip of it. It was still scalding hot and burned my throat but I didn't care.  
“Well she kinda.... touched me.... and uh, well... I...”  
“She touched you? Where?” He asked. Well that was just a stupid question. I shot him a look, and he finally got what I was trying to say. “She touched your.... OH. Oooooooooooh. So she was wanking you?” He asked with a smirk. My face burned bright red as I nodded. “Did you, ya know....” He made a noise like an explosion, his hand motions matching and I felt my face grow hotter.  
“What do you think?” I asked him.  
“DUDE! That's awesome though. I don't really see the problem here. A hot girl touched your willy. Be happy about it bro.”   
“Haz! She has a boyfriend. And it was embarrassing. I didn't.... um.... last that long.” I stuttered. He just laughed at me.  
“Did you guys, like, talk about it after or anything?” he asked. I shook my head. “God Niall, I love you but you're a moron sometimes. You need to talk to her. Just tell her how you feel already. You know she's been with Conner for a while now, but she doesn't really seem happy at all. Not the way she is when she's with you.” he told me.  
“She's like that with all of us though. I don't think I’m particularly special.”  
“Oh come off it Niall. Are you really that much of an idiot. When she sees you her eyes light up like nothing I’ve ever seen before. And the way you make her laugh, god she only ever laughs like that with you. That uncontrollable, loud, obnoxious laugh. And she talks about you ALL THE TIME. It's ridiculous. It really is. Sometimes I want to shoot myself just listening to her talk about the funny things you say or the way your eyes sparkle or how adorable your smile is. It truly is sickening.” He told me rolling his eyes. Suddenly my phone buzzed.   
Stella: Hey Nialler can we talk? Louis and I just got back and are headed up right now. I'll meet you at your place?  
I texted her back, saying sure and looked up at Harry.   
“Well I guess it's now or never. Thanks for the talk Haz.” I said before turning and walking out the door. Stella and Lou were in the hallway, laughing about something.   
“Hey guys.” I said. They looked up at me.  
“Hey Nialler. I'm assuming Haz is up?” Louis asked. I nodded. “Alright. Well you kids have fun.” He shot Stella a look but I couldn't really place what it meant.  
“Soooo, let's talk, yeah?” I asked.  
“Yeah. Let's talk....”


	11. We're Marching On

Niall's POV  
“Yeah. Let's talk....” I opened the door to my flat and she followed me inside. Why did I agree to this? This is going to be so embarrassing and awkward. What do I even say to her. “So about... you know, this morning...” she started, refusing to look in my eyes.  
“Yeah, um we should probably just forget about it. You know, pretend it didn't happen?” It was the easiest route to take. I surely couldn't tell her that I liked it. Then what is she going to say? Her eyes finally met mine and she looked almost..... Disappointed Was that the emotion in her eyes? No it couldn't be.  
“Um, yeah. You're right. That's, um, exactly what I was thinking. No need to, uh, tell anyone. Or ever talk about it. It was just a mistake. A lapse in judgment.” She said softly. Her words stung. Is that what she thinks of me? That I’m just a lapse in judgment? No Niall. That's not what she meant.  
“Yeah. Right. A mistake. Well is that all then? The lads and I have to get to the studio.” I tried my best not to sound bitter, but judging by the look on her face, I’m positive that I failed.  
“Um.....yeah... I’ll just go then.” she whispered sadly. She turned around and started for the door, her eyes trained on the floor. I felt awful. I love this girl with all my heart and now she's upset because of me.  
“Stella....” I sighed and she stopped. I walked up to her and spun her around, pulling her into my arms and hugging her tightly. She wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my neck and I felt her body shake against mine. Was she crying?  
“Niall I don't want this to ruin everything. You're my best friend. I love you. Please don't hate me. Please. I'm so sorry.” she sobbed. My heart broke into pieces at the crack in her voice as she begged for my forgiveness. I kissed the top of her head and tightened my grip around her.  
“Stella it's OK. Everything is OK. I love you, don't worry.” I whispered. I held her for a few minutes, not having the strength to let her go, until there was a knock at my door.  
“Niall? Are you ready to go?” I heard Harry call out as the lock clicked and the knob turned. He pushed the door open and walked inside, catching sight of us quickly. Stella pushed away from me, wiping her eyes quickly before turning around to face Harry, obviously not wanting him to know that she had been crying. “Oh hey Stella.” he said happily, like he'd had no idea that she'd come to see me.  
“Hey Haz. I was just leaving. You guys have fun at the studio.” she said. She gave me another quick hug and did the same to Harry, before walking out the door.  
“So?” He asked me curiously.  
“Can we just talk about this later? I'm really not in the mood right now.” I sighed. He just nodded and I followed him out into the hall, locking the door quickly behind me.  
“....... know that you can. Not a big deal. Here.” I caught the tail end of what Louis was saying. I looked up to see him talking to Stella, one arm wrapped around her shoulder and his other hand dropping something small and silver into hers. Weird.  
“Thanks Boo.” she whispered, kissing his cheek. He kissed her forehead and then let her go, following Harry towards the lift, where Zayn and Liam already were waiting on us.  
“Bye Stella!” Liam called out happily, waving.  
“Bye S.” Zayn said.  
“Bye guys. Have fun. I'll see you guys later.” she told us all. I waved at her but she didn't see me. She was staring at the ground again. I made my way over to the lift and stepped inside with the other lads.  
“Lou?” I asked softly. He and I were standing in the back corner while Zayn, Harry and Liam were all towards the front talking about what we were going to do in the studio today.  
“Yeah Ni?” he asked shortly.  
“What was that all about? You know, in the hall. You and Stella?” I asked him.  
“Nothing. Don't worry about it.” he huffed.  
“Lou. Please. You know I love her. I don't like it when she's upset. I thought everything was fine. I told her that everything was fine.” I pleaded. He turned to face me and sighed. I had obviously won this battle.  
“Look, it's not really you and you know that. She's confused. She's embarrassed. Not about you. Just because she thinks that she ruined your friendship and she's afraid she made herself look like a loony. She doesn't want to loose you. Things with her and Conner are..... Tense right now. She needs you and she needs me and now she's afraid she doesn't have you anymore.” He explained.  
“She always has me. She should know that. She's had me since the day I laid eyes on her.” I told him. He nodded.  
“You see, I know that. And the boys know that. Everyone knows that Niall, but she doesn't know that. She thinks you told her it was fine because you're just a nice person. You need to make sure that she understands that your friendship is still perfectly in tact. Promise me that you'll do that. Things are about to get bad soon, I can just..... Niall I can feel it. I don't know what it is I just know it's going to happen and we're all going to need each other and she's going to need you.” He was practically begging me now. It was almost a little ridiculous to be quite honest. Louis was always the fun carefree prankster off all of us, but he had this intuition. He always knew when something was going to happen. It was incredibly creepy.  
“I promise, Lou.” I said. He seemed content with that and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, leaning his head against mine. “Are you really that worried Lou?”  
“Niall, I’ve never had such a strong gut feeling. Whatever it is, it's going to effect all of us, I’m sure of it. I'm scared Nialler. What if, whatever it is tears us all apart?” his voice cracked at the end and I could tell he was terrified. I was a little confused as to why he was telling me this. He always went to Harry with these sorts of things. It never seemed that he trusted me enough to be so open about his feelings.  
“Lou it'll be fine. Nothing's gonna tear us apart.” I said, trying to be as reassuring as possible.  
“Promise me that. Promise me that no matter what happens in the next few months, we'll all be best mates. That we'll all be OK. You and I will be OK.” I stared at him, confused. He was talking crazy.  
“Lou, what are you so worried about? Do you know something? Is there something you're not telling us?” I asked quietly. He shook his head, burying it in my neck.  
“No Niall and that's what terrifies me so much.” he whispered. I raised both hands to his cheeks and pulled his face up so that he was looking in my eyes.  
“Lou, I love you. You're my best mate. Nothing will ever change that. You could have sex with my mother and we'd still be OK. Although I wouldn't advise that. Just please don't worry. Nothing will ever come between us. I promise.” he smiled at my words and pulled me into a hug.  
“Thanks Nialler. You know, sometimes I don't think I give you enough credit. You're incredible, you know that?” he told me.  
“Yeah, I know.” I joked, poking him in the cheek. He rolled his eyes and turned towards the rest of the boys, joining in on their conversation like nothing had ever happened just as the door of the lift opened. I reached in my pocket for my phone, but my pockets were empty. I must have set it down while talking to Stella. “Oi, lads, I left my phone upstairs. I'll catch up with you OK?” I called out, staying in the lift.  
“OK Niall just hurry. We're already running late.” Liam said, shooting a glare at Zayn that told me the Bradford boy had spent way too much time on his hair again. It's not like we were going anywhere to impress anyone. No one could see us in the studio.  
“I promise Li. I'll hurry.” I said back as the lift doors closed again and I made my way back up to our floor.

Stella's POV  
“Boo can I hang out at your place for a while while you're gone? Jess has a boy over again and I don't really want to deal with it. I kinda just wanna be alone. You know, have space to think?” I asked Louis as I caught him in the hall with Liam and Zayn. He put his arm around my shoulder, squeezing me close to his side as he answered.  
“Stel, you don't even have to ask. You know you know that you can. Not a big deal. Here.” he pulled his key out of his pocket so that I could get in the door just as Harry and Niall walked out of Nialls place.  
“Thanks Boo.” I said, kissing his warm cheek softly. This is why I love him. This is why he's my best friend. I can ask him for absolutely anything and he never questions it. He kissed my forehead before dropping his arm off my shoulder and heading over to the elevator to join the other boys.  
“Bye Stella!” Liam called with a wave. I laughed and waved back.  
“Bye S.” Zayn called.  
“Bye guys. Have fun. I'll see you later.” I said to them. I could tell Niall was watching me but I couldn't bare to look up at him. As the doors to the elevator closed I turned back around and quickly unlocked the door to Louis and Harry's apartment. I rushed over to the piano, not even bothering to close the door all the way and let my fingers trace over the keys for a minute before starting to play.

For those days we felt like a mistake,  
Those times when loves what you hate,  
Somehow,  
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn't be there,  
I've made it harder to know that you know,  
That somehow,  
We'll keep moving on.

There's so many wars we fought,  
There's so many things were not,  
But with what we have,  
I promise you that,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,  
There isn't a flag I'd wave,  
Don't care if we bend,  
I'd sink us to swim,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,  
For those lives that tear at the seams,  
We know,  
We're not what we've seen,

For this dance we'll move with each other.  
There ain't no other step than one foot,  
Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,  
There's so many things we're not,  
But with what we have,  
I promise you that,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,  
There isn't a flag I'd wave,  
Don't care if we bend,  
I'd sink us to swim,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right,  
We're marching on.

We'll have the days we break,  
And we'll have the scars to prove it,  
We'll have the bonds that we save,  
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,  
For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,  
We move like we ain't got no other,  
We go when we go,  
We're marching on.

There's so many wars we fought,  
There's so many things we're not,  
But with what we have,  
I promise you that,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right, right, left, right,  
Right, right,  
We're marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right, right, left, right,  
Right, right,  
We're marching on. 

It was the only song that felt appropriate for the way I felt about everything. Things with Conner had been so rough lately and I was honestly starting to figure out a way to get myself out. The problem was that I really had started to genuinely love him. But he wasn't the person I thought he was. Things with the rest of my life hadn't been any better. Jess has been so distant from me lately. She'd go out at night and not even let me know where she was going, something she always used to do. She would never hang out with me anymore and she was constantly late or calling off of work. For a while I had chalked it up to jealousy. I had been spending all of my time with either Conner or the boys and we hadn't really had a chance to have girl time. But I was starting to think that it may be something else.  
Things hadn't been going well for Louis either recently. He and El were fighting constantly. A part of me felt like it might be my fault, but when I voiced these feeling to him a few days ago he just laughed it off saying that El knows we're just friends. I'm truly worried about him though. He's been so down. I don't think the boys noticed anything out of the ordinary, though. They’d been so busy with recording.  
My thoughts were broken by the sound of clapping as I finished my song. I turned around quickly, jumping to my feet, to find Niall standing in the open doorway.  
“What are you doing here?” I asked breathlessly. “You scared the shit out of me!” He walked towards me, a smile on his face and pulled me close to him.  
“I left my phone in my flat. When I got back up here I noticed that the door was open and I heard you singing.” he explained. “That was beautiful.”  
“Thanks.” I whispered.  
“Stella I said everything is going to be ok and I meant it. I promise. We're going to be best friend forever.” He whispered into my hair. I smiled up at him. It was all I needed to hear. That he would always be there. That he would love me forever, even if it wasn't exactly in the way that I wanted. Niall Horan would always be in my life, no matter what happened. That promise of forever made absolutly everything in my life seem ok.


	12. Car Crash Hearts

Stella's POV  
I was at work when it happened. When the phone call came. I had already been having a rough day. Jess had actually decided to show up for work, but refused to say anything to me and kept staring at me with some sort of strange emotion in her eyes. Guilt maybe? I wasn't quite sure. So the phone call came to the store, which was odd, since we were allowed to answer our cell phones at work and everyone I hung out with knew that.  
“Stella, phone's for you.” Jess called out to me from the registers. Those were the first words she had spoken to me all day. I walked over and took the phone from her, pressing it to my ear.  
“Hello?” I asked awkwardly.  
“Stella.....” the voice on the other end sobbed. Louis.  
“Boo? What's wrong? Why are you crying? What happened?” The questions fell out of my mouth so fast.  
“Stella I... I need you t-t-to come over. P-p-please?” He cried softly into the phone. I turned to Jess, who looked at me with worried eyes. Placing my hand over the mouthpiece, I pulled the phone away from my ear.  
“Jess, can you.....” I started.  
“Stell just go. Go take care of him. I've got everything here. We're not even busy anyway. It'll be fine OK.” She said softly. I nodded before pressing the phone back up to my face.  
“Boo I’ll be there in ten minutes. Everything will be OK, I promise.” I said before hanging up. I put the phone down on the counter and ran back into the back room to grab my keys and hoodie, then raced out the door calling out a quick thank you to Jess. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Louis door. I knocked three times and the door opened almost immediately to reveal my best friend, puffy red eyes glistening with tears behind his glasses, wearing sweats and a white shirt. An overwhelming sense of Deja Vu washed over me as I thought back to the last time we were in this position a few months back, the day we became best friends. I stepped forward, pulling the crying boy into a tight hug as he sobbed into my shoulder. “Boo, what happened?” I asked softly, shutting the door behind me and leading him into the kitchen. I steered him towards one of the island bar stools and then set about making him a cup of Yorkshire tea, his favorite.  
“My mum and my sisters..... t-t-they were d-d-driving up here to v-visit and they.........” He buried his face in his hands, unable to get the words out. I walked back over to him, wrapping my arms around him. “They're gone Stella. My sisters are gone. Just, gone.” he whispered. My grip around him tightened.  
“Oh boo. I'm so sorry.” I murmured. My heart was breaking for my best friend. As much as I know what it's like to lose someone, Louis lost way more than I did. His sisters were his world.  
“It's all my fault. El and I have been fighting and mum, she wanted to cheer me up so she pulled the girls out of school to come surprise me. If I had just not told her, if I had just told her everything was fine, they would still be alive.” he sobbed.  
“Louis no. This is not your fault. You couldn't possibly have known that something like this would happen. Please don't blame yourself. Please. You know they wouldn't want that.” I scolded.  
“I just feel..... so helpless. I don't know how to live in a world where they don't exist Stella. Where I can't tease Lottie about her boyfriend. Where I can't hug the twins so tightly. Where I can't tickle Fizz until she's screaming and kicking me. It's just impossible for me to imagine. This can't be my life Stella. This has to be a nightmare. It just has to be. What am I going to do! I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me and I’m absolutely powerless to stop it all.” He had finally stopped crying, but only because he seemed to exhausted to do anymore. I went back to making the tea as he sat in silence, staring at the wall. When I was finished, I took the mug in one hand and grabbed his hand with the other. I led him out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, setting the mug down on his nightstand as we both climbed into his bed. I kicked off my shoes and slid under the covers next to him. I picked up the mug of tea and handed it to him.  
“Boo, I love you so much, you know that right? I'm going to be here for you no matter what. I know it's hard, losing people you love so much. They were your world. I know that. But you still have your mom right? She's alright?” I asked. He hadn't said anything about what had happened to his mom and I prayed that she was still alive. When I became close to Lou, I also became close to his family. Jay had become somewhat of a mother figure to me, with the girls being like my little sisters. I had even gone to visit them in Doncaster by myself a few times.  
“She's in the hospital. But yeah she's alive.” he sighed.  
“Well that's something to be thankful for. She's still with you. And you guys will get through this together.” I assured him.  
“I need to go see her. I have to go be with her. She must be so scared and I don't know if anyone is with her. What if she doesn't know? What if no one has told her!” He was starting to panic and I was getting concerned. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and his eyes were full of worry and fear. I took the mug from him, setting it back on the nightstand, and wrapped my arms around him tightly, trying to remember all of the things my mom would do for me when I was having a panic attack.  
“Shh. Boo breath. It's going to be OK. Shh. Just relax. Deep breaths.” I murmured as I rubbed soothing circles into his back. After a few minutes he finally seemed to calm down. “Lou, what hospital is she in?”  
“Um, Queen Elizabeth.” he told me.  
“That's only a little less than an hour from here. Do you want me to take you to see her?” I asked. He nodded sadly. “OK. Look, finish your tea and I’m going to go grab your shoes and jacket. Do you want me to call Harry? Or the other boys?” he shook his head.  
“No. Please I don't want to tell them yet? I just, I don't want to have to have this conversation with them. It hurts too much.” he said.  
“OK. I'll be right back.” I promised and ran out into the living room to grab his shoes. I pulled my phone out and sent a text to Conner. We had plans for later on in the night, but I obviously needed to cancel them.

To Conner: Look, something happened. I can't really talk about it but there's an emergency I have to take care of. I'll call you later.  
When I got back into Louis room, he was still sitting on his bed, though with an empty mug held tightly in his hands. I gave him his shoes and he slipped them on quickly before shrugging on his jacket and following me through the apartment and out the door. He handed me his keys, something that, under normal circumstances, would have taken me completely by surprise. Louis didn't like for anyone to touch his car besides him. Even Harry wasn't allowed to drive it. But considering the situation, I didn't really think much of it. I just knew I needed to be careful.  
45 minute later, I parked the car outside of the hospital and we both jumped out. I walked around to catch up with Louis and took his hand in mine firmly. He smiled down at me sadly, a silent thank you for being there to support him. I was trying so hard to stay strong for my best friend, but to be honest, I was terrified. This was the hospital my mother had died in. I would never tell Louis that, not when he's in so much pain, but the thought was killing me inside. We walked up to the front desk, but before Lou could say anything, he broke down sobbing again. I pulled him in my arms again and looked down at the very sympathetic looking nurse sitting behind the desk.  
“We're looking for Jay Tomlinson. This is her son Louis. Could you please tell us what room she's in?” I asked. The nurse smiled up at me sweetly.  
“She's on the fourth floor, room 405. Visiting hours are over, but I’ll give you two a pass anyways. But hurry on up there.” she said warmly, handing me the two visitors pass stickers.  
“Thank you so much ma'am.” I replied with a sad smile. I peeled the backing off of the stickers and stuck them to Louis' and my shirts as we made our way towards the elevator. The ride up the the fourth floor was short but spent in uncomfortable silence. I kept his hand clasped tightly in mine, squeezing gently every so often just to remind him that I was still there. As we stepped out of the elevator, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I pulled it out to find a new text.  
Harry: Stella, do you know where Lou is? He's not at home like he should be and he's left his phone in his room. I'm worried. If you speak to him let me know.  
I quickly shoved my phone back in my pocket, not bothering to text back. If Lou said he didn't want the boys to know yet, than I wouldn't say anything. It wasn't my place. I did feel bad though. I felt like I was lying to Harry even though I didn't text him back. I was so lost in thought about it that I didn't even notice that Louis had stopped walking. We were standing in front of the closed door to room 405.  
“What if she isn't awake? What if she's in a coma or something?” he whispered nervously.  
“Boo, no matter what is behind this door, I’m here. But you won't know until you open it OK.” I was trying to be as encouraging as possible, but I don't think I was doing as good of a job as I had hoped. He nodded nonetheless and turned the knob slowly, pushing the door open and stepping inside. I was planning on staying in the hall, it really wasn't my place to be in the room during such a private moment, but Louis pulled me in alongside him. I heard him let out a relieved sigh as his mom turned her head to face us, confused. She was sitting in the hospital bed, her face covered in scratches and bruises. Her eyes welled up as soon as she saw her son and she opened her arms for him to come to her. He dropped my hand and ran into her waiting arms.  
“Mummy!” he cried. I felt so awkward, watching it all happen. I felt like I was intruding.  
“Oh baby I’m so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I love you so much.” Jay whispered softly to him as they sobbed together.  
“Mummy it's alright. It's not your fault. I love you too.” Louis said back. They stayed like that for a few minutes, holding each other while they both cried, before finally breaking apart, tears subsiding. “I'm so glad you're alright mum.” Louis told her.  
“Oh baby I feel horrible.” she said honestly.  
“No mum it's...... don't please. I can't handle it. Please lets just focus on the fact that you're alright.” he begged her as she started to cry again. He rubbed her back until she stopped and then sat down on the bed beside her. He looked over at me and motioned for me to come over. I did as I was asked and sat down in the chair positioned next to her bed.  
“Jay....” I whispered, taking her hand in mine. She looked down at me sadly, squeezing my hand.  
“Oh Stella I’m so glad you're here.” she whispered. I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks as she spoke to me.  
“What happened?” Louis asked. Jay sighed, a pained expression on her face. It was obvious she didn't want to talk about it. That the thought of saying the words out loud was to hard. But I also knew that she would never keep anything from Louis just to protect him. She was always 100% honest with him.  
“I don't know baby. One minute the girls and I were singing along to the radio, excited to be so close to seeing you and the next the car was upside down. The police officer that came in told me we had been hit by a drunk driver and that they had caught him and he was going to jail, but I truly don't remember most of it.” she told us.  
“What about you? What did the doctors say.” he asked. I could hear in his voice that he was trying so hard to keep it together.  
“I'm fine. Just some cracked ribs and cuts and bruises. They said I’m very lucky, but I beg to differ.” she told us. Louis opened his mouth to say something else but the door opened suddenly and a doctor walked in.  
“Mrs. Tomlinson....” he started before catching sight of us. “You two shouldn't be here.” he didn't seem angry, he just stated it like it was a fact.  
“I'm so sorry. It's just, this is my mum and I was so worried.” Louis said apologetically.  
“It's alright son, I understand, but I’m sorry to say that I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're mother needs her rest. But we will be releasing her tomorrow afternoon as long as everything checks out. We can't seem to find anything wrong, but her body is still in shock from the accident so we're going to keep her over night just to be sure everything is alright.” The doctor explained to us. Louis nodded and thanked him before turning back to Jay.  
“Mum, you're going to stay with Hazza and I. I'll be back tomorrow to pick you up.” he told her, hugging her gently and kissing the top of her head. She nodded.  
“Be careful driving back please loves.” she told us as we made our way out the door.  
“We will mum. I promise. I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

Niall's POV  
“Niall. Seriously I haven't been able to get a hold of either of them. Louis left hi shone on his nightstand and Stella hasn't answered any of my calls and texts. I'm getting really worried. Can you please please try to call her? Please Niall please.” Harry begged me through the phone. Louis and Stella had been missing for nearly 4 hours. Harry had called me two hours ago in a panic. Why he had called me of all people I'd never understand. Why hadn't he called Eleanor. Because in all honesty, that's probably who Lou was with. And I knew that Stella had plans with Conner so I assumed that that's where she was.  
“Haz, I’ll try but have you tried calling El? I'm sure they're together.” I said, trying to stay calm.  
“Niall, El is here with me. Just try to call her and come over here please.” He begged again. I opened my mouth to respond, but he hung up before I could. Sighing, I made my way through my flat, wrenching the door open and heading over to Harry's as I dialed the familiar number to try and reach Stella. It rang 5 times and then went to voice mail.  
“Hey it's Stella. I'm not available right now, but if you're really really awesome, then maybe I’ll call you back. Unless you suck like Niall! Ha just kidding. Yeah so leave me a message and I’ll talk to you later.” The sound of her voice saying my name sent chills down my spine.  
“Hey Stell it's Niall. First of all, once again, I don't suck you love me and ya know it. But could you please call me or Harry? Lou is missing and no one has heard from him or you in hours and.....” I stopped short as I saw the lift doors open to reveal a puffy eyed Louis and a sympathetic Stella. I ran to them, engulfing both of them in the biggest Horan hug I had ever given anyone in my life.  
“Where have you guys been? Harry's been worried sick, calling me every five minutes.” I asked.  
“let's go inside.” Stella whispered, pulling herself from my arms and making her way over to the door to Lou and Harry's flat. We just barely stepped inside when a blur of brown curls bolted towards us and jumped in Louis' arms.  
“Boo bear I was so worried!” Harry yelled. He tried to hug Lou as tight as he could but Lou just pushed the younger boy off of him, something that none of us had ever seen him do before. Harry looked at Louis in shock as Lou made his way through the flat and to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. All eyes turned to Stella, well, all except Eleanor, who went after Lou. “Stella, what happened? What's wrong with him?” Harry asked.  
“Harry, I..... Just please wait until he's ready to tell you. He asked me not to and it's really not my place. Harry you know he'll tell you just please give him some time.” She begged. Harry looked like he was about to argue, but was interrupted by screaming coming from Louis' room.  
“YOU SPENT THE LAST FOUR HOURS ALONE WITH HER AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! WHAT WERE YOUEVEN DOING?” Eleanor screamed.  
“FUCK FINE EL! FINE! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE WE WERE.....” Lou started but El cut him off quickly.  
“YOU KNOW WHAT LOU! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE ANYMORE! I'M DONE! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF COMING IN SECOND TO HER AND TO HARRY ALL THE TIME. ALL YOU DO IS SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR ME. SO NO I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHERE YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS STELLA WERE. FUCK OFF LOU!” The bedroom door opened suddenly and Eleanor came storming out, stomping passed us and running our the door, slamming it behind her so hard, the pictures on the wall shook. The three of us all looked at each other before running into Louis' bedroom to find him sitting in the middle of the floor, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them, sobbing loudly. We sat down around him, all trying to hold back tears.  
“Boo. What's going on?” Harry asked, his voice rough with worry. Lou looked up at all of us, trying to suppress the sobs escaping his chest.  
“Please don't leave me. Please don't. I can't lose you three too.” he begged us in the softest of whispers. We hugged him tightly, probably squishing him in between the three of us.  
“We'll never leave you, Lou. Never.” I said softly. As we pulled away and stood up, Harry picked him up and slayed him down on the bed gently. We all piled in the bed with him, Harry curling around his left side, Stella around his right, and me behind her, my hand grasping Louis tightly. And that's how we all fell asleep, holding on to our best mate.


	13. Unhappy Ever After

Stella's POV  
I woke up the next morning to Niall's soft snoring in my ear and the smell of bacon wafting through the apartment. Louis was still asleep in front of me and Niall had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist from behind. Under any other circumstances, I probably would have been thrilled to be so close to him, to feel him holding me so tightly, but I was just too exhausted for the butterflies. I shifted out of his grasp and climbed out of the bed, leaving him there to roll over and pull Louis into the space I had just occupied. I giggled a little. It was incredibly cute to see my two best friends all cuddled up to each other, Niall, shirtless and spooning Louis. Niall buried his face in Louis hair and I knew I had to capture the moment. I pulled my phone out of my hoodie pocket and snapped a picture, before walking out the door and making my way into the kitchen. Harry was moving around quickly making breakfast, wearing only his boxers. What a dork, I thought quietly to myself.  
“Hey Haz.” I said softly, trying to avoid scaring him. He was carrying a pan of cooked bacon and the last thing I wanted was to be covered in scalding hot grease. His eyes met mine sadly and he shrugged.  
“Hello Stella.” He mumbled. I sighed. He was obviously upset with me for not telling him why Louis was so upset.  
“Haz look I...”  
“Stella, it's fine. I already know. Mum called me this morning to tell me. I.... I don't know what......” Before he could even finish, the tears started pouring down his cheeks. I grabbed the hot pan from his hands and set it down on the counter before pulling him into my arms and hugging him tightly. As close as I had become to Louis' family in the past few months, Harry had been his best friend for almost three years. He had spent so much time around the girls and I knew his heart was torn apart almost as much as Lou's was.  
“Harry it's alright. It's gonna be alright.” I whispered soothingly in his ear.  
“Hazza.” A husky Irish voice sounded from the doorway. I looked up to see Niall, in all his shirtless glory making his way over to us. He wrapped his arms around us and hugged us close to his body.  
“I don't know how to handle this guys! Louis is my other half. He's my boo bear. He loved those girls more than anything in the entire world. What do I say to him? What do I say to Mark and Jay? I feel like everything is falling apart.” Harry sobbed into Nialls chest. I lifted his chin with my finger so that he was looking into my eyes, his own green ones red and puffy.  
“Just be there for them. Support them through this. I know it's going to be hard, trust me I know, but all you can do is stick by his side and be his Hazza Bear like you always have been. He needs you now more than ever.” I told him. Niall wiped the tears from Harry's cheeks as Harry nodded, taking in my words.  
“I'm going to go lay with him for a while. Breakfast is ready if you two want some.” he said softly as he pulled away from us and made his way out o the kitchen and into his best friend bedroom. Niall and I stared at each other for a few minutes before he pulled me back into his chest and I sighed heavily.  
“My mum called me too. I can't believe it. Is Jay alright?” he asked me softly. I nodded.  
“For the most part. I mean physically at least. She's really lucky to be alive. Mentally, she's an absolute wreck. She feel responsible.” I told him. “Louis does too. He wishes he wouldn't have told her that he was having problems with El. He thinks that if he would have kept it to himself then they never would have been in that car in the first place.” His grip on me tightened and I could tell that it broke his heart that his best friend blamed himself.  
“Hello... Is anyone home?”   
“Liam, you have a key mate, just use it.”  
“But what if Louis and El are...... you know. Or Harry and Josh. I wouldn't want it interrupt. That would be so rude....”  
“LIAM JUST OPEN THE DOOR!” Niall and I laughed at the argument taking place on the other side of the front door.  
“Talk about rude, Zayn, you don't have to scream at me. I'm just trying to be polite.”  
“Oh fuck it!” Zayn yelled before we heard a key turn the lock over and the door swing open to reveal an incredibly flustered Liam and a pissed off Zayn.  
“Oh, well this is unexpected.” Liam giggles as he caught sight of Niall and I still wrapped in each others arms. I pulled myself away from Niall and went over to hug each of the other boys. From the looks on their faces I could tell they had heard what happened. It still amazes me how they've only known each other for two years and they come from different parts of the country (or another country in Niall's case), but their families are as close to each other as the boys are. “How is he?”   
“Devastated. Like I told Niall, he blames himself.” I told Liam. I looked over at the clock on the microwave to check the time. “Shit someone needs to go pick up Jay. I know Louis wants to but if he's still asleep I don't want to wake him, you know?” I told them. Liam and Zayn nodded at me.  
“We'll go. It's not a big deal to us. I'd rather not have Louis driving right now anyways and I’m sure Haz isn't in any condition to as well. Plus you look right exhausted. Did you sleep at all last night?” Liam said. I shot a glare at Niall, who quickly averted his eyes and began innocently examining the contents of the bacon pan.   
“I spent the night squished in a tiny bed with three teenage boys, one of whom snores like a trucker and another who tried to squeeze the life out of me for 7 hours straight. You do the math, Liam.” I joked. Zayn snorted.  
“That sounds like every Directioners dream.”

Niall's POV  
Harry came out of Louis' room about an hour later when Josh came over. He looked a little calmer, but we could all still tell that he was hurting.   
“He's back asleep again. He woke up when I went in and we cuddled for a while.” he told us as he set about the kitchen making himself some tea. “Stel, you look dead on your feet love, you should get some sleep. I know you've been having a rough go of things lately.” he told her, sending her a look I couldn't quite figure out. What is that supposed to mean? A rough go of things? I knew she had been having issues with Jess, but that can't be what he meant. Was it Conner?   
“Haz.” she snapped. “Shut up. Things are fine.” Well if that didn't make it obvious then I don't know what would. She left the kitchen abruptly and I raised an eyebrow at Harry. I was going to make him tell me what that all meant. If there was something wrong with Stella I damn well need to know about it.  
“Lou said she's been having some issues. Conner, you know? He's not treating her right. You should talk to her.” he told me. I nodded and walked out of the kitchen to find her. She was sitting at Louis' piano. I swear the girl was obsessed with the thing. Not that I really minded much. I loved hearing her play, Lou was right, she really is a brilliant musician. But she wasn't playing, just tracing the keys with her fingers. I heard Harry giggle from the kitchen and smiled. At least someone was having a laugh today. I'm glad he and Josh are still together, it makes me hopeful that things will work out for everyone.  
“I can't believe she just left him like that.” Stella told me softly as I sat down at the bench next to her. I nodded, completely agreeing. I understood where El was coming from to a point, her boyfriend had completely disappeared for 4 hours with another girl, but she's friends with Stella. She knows that Stella and Louis are like family now. Plus it was quite obvious from the way he was acting that something was wrong. If she would have just let him explain things would be different. I wonder if she regrets it. If she was sitting at him beating herself up over it. Had she tried to call him?  
It still amazes me when things like this happen. Louis had been right. Things were getting bad. But what concerned me as that he said whatever happens is going to affect all of us. It's going to be bad for everyone. Which leads me to wonder, what else is going to happen? And what effect will it have on us? Could Louis be right about us being torn apart? I didn't want to even imagine that. I needed to do something. Something to keep us all together despite all the pain and uncertainty. That was always my role. The anchor. The glue. And I needed to continue to be that, now more than ever.   
“Stella, when Liam and Zayn get back, I have an idea. But we need Louis. We need everyone together for this.” she looked at me curiously, her eyes urging me to explain myself but I couldn't. “They won't be back for another few hours though. Why don't you come back to my flat and sleep.” she nodded and got up, following me out the door and into my flat. I lead her up to my bedroom and grabbed a shirt and some sweats for her. She had slept in her jeans last night and I knew that that wasn't very comfortable. “I'll be in the lounge. Have a good nap.” I said to her after she changed and turned to walk out the door, but her hand caught my wrist and she turned me back around to face her. Her body pressed against mine as tears streamed down her pale cheeks.  
“Please don't leave. Just lay with me.” she whispered. Picking her up, I carried her over to the bed and laid her down before stripping out of my own jeans to be more comfortable. I arranged myself beside her and pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly and burying my nose in her sweet smelling hair.  
“Shh. It's OK Stella. Everything is going to be OK. I promise. Louis is going to be OK. You're going to be OK. Everything is going to work out. Just remember that we all love each other. Louis loves you, Haz loves you. Liam and Zayn love you. And I love you. Don't ever forget that. I always will. You'll always be my best friend.” I murmured softly to her. She smiled up at me.  
“I love you too Nialler. You're the best friend a girl could ever have, do you know that?” she replied.  
“I've been told.” I said with a wink. She laughed softly before burying her face in my neck and falling asleep quickly. “I really do love you Stella. I love you so much it hurts sometimes and I wish you could see it. I love you more than Conner does I just know it. I wish I was the one getting all of your love. I wish I was the one you kissed goodnight. I wish I was the one holding your hand. I wish it was me.” I whispered. This has become such a ridiculous habit, me waiting until she's asleep to admit how I feel. To be honest with her. It's quite stupid really. It doesn't ever get me anywhere, but it does make me feel a little better. A part of me hopes that my words would get to her in her sleep. That she'll wake up the next day and be in love with me and everything will be perfect and we will live happily ever after. But happy ever after clearly doesn't exist. “If "Happy Ever After" did exist, I would still be holding you like this, All those fairy tales are full of shit, One more fucking love song, I'll be sick.” I sang softly. If only Adam Lavine knew how true those words were for me right now.


	14. The Accident

Niall's POV  
The text came right as I was getting out of the shower.  
Stella: “I really need you to pick me up from work.”   
Me: “Is everything alright?”   
Stella: “I had a really bad day at work. I just really need my best friend OK.”  
Me: “Stel, what's wrong?”  
Stella: “Nialler please I need you.” I had never received a text like this from her and I was starting to get concerned. I dressed quickly in sweats and and a sleeveless shirt, shoving my feet into my supras as I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door. I needed to get to her as quickly as possible. Despite the fact that she and Conner were still together and I knew that I should get over her, I couldn't. I would still do anything for her. I would walk through fire for that girl just to see her smile. I sped through the streets of London until I pulled up in front of Rags to find her standing outside finishing a cigarette. Hopping out of the car as quickly as I could, I walked around to where she stood and pulled her into my arms.  
“Hey.” She breathed. The sadness in her voice was evident and it broke my heart to hear it.  
“Hi, love.” I said into her hair. She pulled away and I opened the passenger door for her, then walked to my side and got in, starting the car and pulling away. We drove in silence. I wanted so badly to ask her what was wrong, it had to be more than just a bad day at work. It wasn't too long before we pulled up in front of her building and we were walking up the two flights of stairs. She stopped in front of the door, her hand on the handle. She turned around to face me. The look on her face was one I had never seen before.  
“Niall.” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. “Promise me you wont leave. Promise me that when I open this door and walk inside, you'll be out here waiting for me. I need you to promise me this because I know that when I walk through this door I’m going to need you to be out here to catch me when I fall.”   
“I promise. I'll be right here until you tell me to leave.” I said softly in her ear. I honestly had no idea what we were about to find on the other side of that door, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out.

Stella's POV  
I took a deep breath and opened the door. I knew what was behind it. I pushed it opened to find my best friend and my boyfriend devouring each others faces. He had been cheating on me the entire time we had been together. I knew this for a fact. I'd found out a week before, right after Louis' sisters funeral, but I had my suspicions for a few weeks. I just didn't want to believe it until I had proof. So today I had texted Jess telling her I wasn't off until 9 when I really was off at 7. I knew they would be together.  
“Oh my god Stella!” Jess yelled as she pulled her mouth away from Conner’s. “I'm so so so....”  
“Save it.” I told her. It was all i could say. I stormed past her to my bedroom and grabbed my black tote bag, shoving clothes inside, before walking out of my room and back out the front door, slamming it shut. I leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor, tears streaming down my face. Niall was still there as promised and he sat down next to me, wrapping his bare arms around me and holding me tightly, something I so desperately needed.  
“Stella, baby it's going to be OK. I promise.” he whispered into my hair.  
“Niall please just take me away from here. Take me anywhere I really just don't care anymore. Just get me out of here.” I told him sadly. He did exactly what I asked. He always did. He was the perfect best friend. Always thinking about my feelings and comforting me when I was upset. 10 minutes later we were sitting on the couch in he flat. His arms were once again wrapped around me. “I don't understand. I just want to be good enough for someone for once.” I cried.  
“Stella, baby, you're way better than both of them. You're more than good enough. You're perfect. You should know this by now. Don't I tell you that every day. And he should have too. And if he didn't then he definitely isn't good enough for you.” he told me, stroking my hair. It felt so amazing to be with him, to be in his arms. He was perfect. I just wished that I had been good enough for him. Honestly, I was less upset about not being good enough for Conner and more upset about the fact that I just couldn't measure up to to anyone. Including Jess and Demi. Demi. That really got me. That had been bothering me more than anything else. It had happened so recently too. Literally right before Louis sisters died. Which was part of the reason I’d been avoiding Niall. They had started talking on twitter which lead to texting. It wasn't really that big of a deal until the Skyping started. That stung. It made everything more real to me.   
“Just stop it Niall! Seriously just stop.” I yelled pushing him away. “It's not like I was ever good enough for you. Right? You have Demi, right? Isn't she the perfect girl for you?” He looked hurt. It almost made me feel bad. Almost.  
“Stella what are you talking about? How does this have anything to do with me?” he asked, confused. If I hadn't been so pissed, I would have probably been falling all over the fact that he looked so adorable when he was confused.  
“Don't act like it's a big secret. You think I don't hear the way you talk about her all the time? You think I don't see your late night twitter flirt sessions. And your skype dates too. Please Niall i'm not stupid. I know you guys have soemthing going on. Is that why you never made a move? Becaise she was better than me? Because you thought SHE could be the one you ended up with?” I jumped off the couch. I was practically screaming by this point. I don't know why I had chosen that moment to bring her up, but I was already on a roll and I just coulnd't stop. “Ugh I shouldn't have even called you. I shouldn't have even come over here with you. I'm leaving.” I ran for the door, not bothering to grab my bag. I would have Harry or Zayn get it tomorrow. All I wanted to do at that moment was leave. I ran down the hall to the stairs. I didn't even care about taking the lift, I just needed to get away from him. To be far away from those blue eyes that made me melt. Once I got outside, I immediately regretted not grabbing my bag. It had started to rain and it was absolutely freezing. I made my way down the street in tears. It wasn't long before I heard my name being called through the rain.   
“STELLA! STELLA PLEASE STOP!” he yelled after me. I didn't listen, I just kept on walking, pretending I hadn't heard. But he was fast and he caught up to me in no time, grabbing my arm and pulling me around to face him. His hair was soaked, sticking to his perfect pale face, and his sleeveless shirt clung to his toned body. It would have been sexy under different circumstances. “Stella talk to me. You can't say those things and then just walk away. Obviously this isn't about Conner and Jess so tell me what the fuck is going on. Please!” he begged.  
“just leave me alone! Please Niall just stop. I can't talk to you about this right now.” I snapped, trying to break free of his grasp, but he only pulled me closer until I was pressed against his body wrapped tightly in his arms.  
“I can't just let this go Stella. I can't. I need to know why this makes you so upset.” he told me.  
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU YOU IDIOT! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ME!” I screamed at him as I pushed hard enough to free myself from him. But I didn't run. I just stood there in front of him and sobbed. His jaw dropped. Why had I just said those words.

Niall's POV  
I was in shock. She had just said that. That had actually happened. I stepped towards her and pulled her back into me again. I needed to feel her skin on mine. I needed her. She was the only thing I had ever needed to make me feel OK. It's true that when I thought there was no hope left for us to be together I had started talking to Demi, but we were just friends. We liked each other fine, but I couldn’t get over the way I felt about Stella and she had a thing for Jack Barakat. And that's really all we ever talked about during our Skype dates. It's pathetic really, two kids, famous as hell and extremely attractive, spending all hours of the night pining over two people we could never have. Or at least, never thought we could have....  
“Stella.” I breathed. That was as far as I got with words. I leaned in slowly, pressing my lips to her soft ones passionately. Her lips moved in sync with mine and I held her as close to my soaking wet body as I possibly could. I didn't want to break away. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her fingers tangled in my hair, trying to pull me even closer than I already was. In that one moment, I didn't care that there were a million people in the street. I didn't care about the fans or the constant paparazzi that stood outside our building and probably followed me down the street. All I cared about was her mouth on mine. Her heart beating against my chest. Her.  
But then she pushed me away. I was confused, wasn't this what she wanted? For me to be hers? That's what she made it seem like, so why is she pushing me away?  
“No. Stop it. You don't get to do that. You don't get to kiss me and expect everything to be OK again. If she's the one you want, well then that's fine, but you can't play with my heart like this. I'm done Niall. I can't stand being around you, being so close to you all the time, it hurts. It makes my heart break over and over again. I just can't do it anymore.” she told me sadly. I tried to grab her, to stop her from running but she was just too fast.   
“I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO STELLA!” I yelled as she darted across the street, stopping half way to turn around and stare at me, wide eyed. I don't understand why this admission surprises her. I had always thought it was so obvious. I made my way to the edge of the sidewalk, and was about to step into the street when I saw it. The car. Tires squealing. Swerving uncontrollably. And heading straight towards her. “NO! FUCK!” I watched in horror as the car slammed into her. I ran as fast as I could to her side, but she was already unconscious. “Fuck Stella no. Do not do this to me Stella PLEASE! Wake up wake up baby please wake up!” I begged but it was no use.


	15. Broken

Niall's POV  
Flashing lights. Sirens. Paramedics. The constant ringing of my phone. Harry and Liam dragging me out of the street. Tears. A silent car ride. It all passed in such a blur and before I knew what was happening it was 2 hours later, I hadn't stopped crying and I had a doctor slammed up against a wall in the hospital, screaming at him through my tears, desperately trying to get to the only thing in my life that has ever mattered. Stella.  
“NIALL STOP IT!” Harry screamed as he ripped my hands away from the terrified mans throat. He pulled me tight against his body and I broke down again.   
“I can't.... I can't do this! I can't lose her!” I sobbed into his chest. I heard Liam apologizing profusely to the doctor I had just assaulted. God bless that boy. Harry ran his slim fingers through my hair soothingly.  
“Shh Ni. It's gonna be alright. I promise Niall everything is going to be OK. Just listen to the doctor OK. We'll never know anything unless we listen, OK babe?” he whispered softly into my ear. I nodded and turned back towards the doctor, who, despite the position I had had him in just minutes prior, looked at me with the most sympathetic eyes.  
“I'm s-s-so sorry.” I told him sincerely but he only nodded understandingly.  
“It's quite alright son. Can't say it's the first time it's happened.” he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder before looking around at all of us and clearing his throat. “Right, so, Ms. Jones made it through surgery and is currently stable. We will be monitoring her throughout the night and over the next few weeks. She suffered some cracked ribs, a broken foot, some cuts and scratches and massive internal bleeding, but aside from that, her physical injuries are minor. She is, however, in a coma. Unfortunately, we're unsure at this time if and when she will wake up. I cannot let any of you see her right now as none of you are immediate family. We have contacted her father and he should be here within the hour as he was out of the country when the accident occurred. However, once he arrives and has a chance to speak to us, as long as he gives his consent, you will be allowed to visit. We will, however, keep you updated on her condition. Now, I should be getting back to her room. We're running some tests on her just to make sure everything else is normal and we will be doing some brain scans to make sure that there are no injuries or swelling. It's possible that this coma could be caused by shock and as her body heals she may wake up, but as I said, we're still uncertain. You boys are more than welcome to stay in the waiting room until we have everything worked out with her father. There is a coffee and tea cart just down the hall and a food court on the first floor, as well as vending machines right around the corner.” he told us. I let all the information sink in. She was alive. I hadn't lost her. And I was going to be optimistic. She WILL wake up. She WILL come home to me. And we'll be together, forever. Happily ever after. Just me and Stella, my princess. It just had to be so.  
“Well, I'm going to head down to the food court and call Danielle, would anyone like to join me?” Liam asked from behind me. I shook my head. I would not leave this waiting area. I would be right here, in this spot when her father came in. I would be the first one to see her after he gave his consent. I. Would. Not. Move.  
“I'll come with you, mate. Should probably give Perrie a call. She'll want to know what's going on.” Zayn told him, standing up to follow him to the elevator.  
“Nialler, Lou, would you like me to fetch you both some tea?” Harry asked us softly. It was the first time since we'd been at the hospital that I had heard Louis' name mentioned, and I suddenly became painfully aware of his presence, sitting in the seat right across from where I was standing. He didn't move or knowledge Harry's question.  
“Um... Haz, could you give us a second.” I could barely recognize my own voice. It was so rough and deep from crying. Harry nodded at me and walked towards the lift, probably heading down to the food court to meet Li and Zayn. I moved to the seat next to Lou and before I could even open my mouth to say a word, his arms wrapped around me and he had pulled me tightly into his chest. He didn't say a word, But I knew that this was hard for him too. He had grown so close to Stella, as close as I was, just in a different way. They were like family to each other and after everything that's happened to Louis, losing his sisters and everything with El, I knew that if he'd lost Stella too it would have been too much.  
“Nialler, it's going to be alright.” he whispered after a few minutes. I was surprised by how strong his voice sounded. I slipped my arms around his waist and pulled him even closer.  
“Louis this is all my fault. She was running across the street and I.... I told her I loved her and.... And then she stopped right in the middle..... in the middle of the road.” I sobbed into his chest. I hadn't even realized I’d started crying again.   
“Niall stop. Please please stop I can't take it. Everything is going to be alright, OK! It has to be. I can't lose her too. You can't lose her. It just can't happen. It won't happen. It won't.” And that's when he finally broke down, sobbing into my hair as I did the same into his chest. We sat like that for what felt like hours, but honestly was probably only a few minutes before he lifted my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “We will get through this, Nialler, together. I'm here for you whenever you need me, you know that. And She will wake up, and you two will be together. It's just going to be like that. It has to be like that. Everything is going to work out for the best. I promise.” he told me. I watched his face as he spoke, cheeks glistening from the tears still streaming down. Eyes red and puffy. It felt like Deja Vu, hadn't we just been in this situation only a few weeks ago. Why does it feel like my whole world is crashing down around me. Thank god for Lou and the boys. I forced a small smile, I knew he needed to see me smile.  
“Thanks Lou.” I said softly, hugging him tightly one more time before finally letting him go and sitting back up straight in my chair. He reached for my hand, lacing his fingers between mine and give them a gentle, comforting squeeze just as the lift doors opened and the boys came walking towards us, arms loaded with food and bottles of coke.  
“We didn't know what you would want, Ni, so we just got a little bit of everything. And by the way, Perrie wanted me to tell you she loves you and she's sorry for what happened.” Zayn told me. I nodded, taking a coke and a bag of crisps from his hands. We all sat in silence for a ling time, well silent but for my nervous crunching. But I really couldn't help that. After about half and hour the lift opened again and I saw a man I’d never met before step out, looking frantic.   
“David.” Louis breathed, dropping my hand as he stood up and made his way over to the man.  
“Please tell me what happened, Louis.” It hit me in that moment. Stella's father. I took in the sight of him. How did I not notice right away. He had the same green eyes and nose as Stella. He was tall, with grey/blonde hair and a thick Irish accent, something that surprised me until I remembered that Stella had once told me, long ago that while her mothers family was, indeed from Bradford, her father was born in raised in Dublin. Well at least I knew we'd have some common ground that would hopefully prevent him from absolutely demolishing me when he finds out that it was my fault his only daughter ended up clinging to life in the hospital. Fuck my life.

Louis' POV  
“David.” I dropped Niall's hand and made my wait towards Stella's father. We'd met about a million times by then and had spoken on the phone even more. He had welcomed me pretty quickly into his life as Stella and I had become closer, much like my family had done with her, and I pretty much considered him family as well at this point.  
“Please tell me what happened, Louis.” His accent was heavier than normal, thick with worry. Thank god for my friendship with Nialler, otherwise I’d never be able to understand him. I glanced back at the blonde boy quickly to see that he looked terrified. He blamed himself, much like I had when my sisters accident had happened. But this wasn't his fault. How could he have even known. I sighed and turned back towards David.  
“She's alive, but in a coma. The doctor doesn’t know when she'll wake up. She has a few cracked ribs and a broken foot. He also said something about internal bleeding but it sounds like they have that under control now. Other than that, he said she's stable. He's been waiting on you to get here, won't let anyone see her until they speak to you, which I expected.” I explained to him. He nodded and sighed.  
“Thank the lord she's alive. She's all I have left.” Tears made their way steadily down his cheeks as he spoke. He wiped them away quickly, clearing his throat. One thing I had learned about David in the past few months that I’d known him is that he's extremely guarded about his emotions. And I knew why. He never wanted to let Stella see him as weak. Not out of embarrassment, but because he always wanted to stay strong and protective for his daughter. They had both been through so much with her mother dying that he tried his hardest to keep a smile on Stella's face always. “How are you and the boys holding up?” he asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.  
“We're all pretty shaken up. Niall is the worst, of course. And I just.... I just never thought I’d have to go through this again. And so quickly.” I made every effort to choke back my tears, not wanting to break down in front of everyone again.  
“The poor lad.....” he started, but was quickly interrupted by the doctor we had spoken to only a little while before.  
“Mr. Jones, I presume?” the doctor asked. David nodded. “I'm Dr. Miller. Please follow me.” I gave David a quick but comforting hug and then let Dr. Miller lead him away from the group, towards what I assumed was Stella's room.  
“Hey, Lou.” That voice. I'd know that voice anywhere. Josh Devine. I sighed. Harry must have called him. Of course Harry would call him, he was Harry's boyfriend and all.   
“Hey Josh.” I sighed again. The last thing I wanted to see was Harry and Josh all cuddled up together. Why? Because I didn't want to see them together period. Something had changed inside me recently. Something I was terrified to admit. Something only Stella knew. The reason I’d been spending so much time with Stella in the last couple of weeks, the reason I’d been bailing on Eleanor and even Harry, was because I realized that I had started developing feelings. Feelings that scared the absolute shit out of me. Feelings that shook up my world to the very core. Feelings for Harry. Fuck my life, right? It had been so easy to push them aside after my sisters accident, at least until he had started spending more time with me, watching me, comforting me. Then the feelings only grew. And I couldn't control them anymore. But I knew that nothing could ever come of it. Never. I could never have Harry. He's my best mate. He's my band mate. He's in love with Josh.   
I reclaimed my seat next to Niall as Josh went over to where Harry was standing. I tried, I really really tried not to watch them, to listen to their conversation, but I was always so painfully aware of everything Harry.  
“Are you ready to go? I'm starving.” Josh asked the curly haired boy. Harry stared at him like he had just grown a second head.  
“Go? I'm not going anywhere. Do you not understand what's going on right now, Josh? I though it was pretty much unspoken that our date was canceled when one of my best friends got hit by a car.” He snapped. Josh raised eyebrow at him and scoffed.  
“Well you said yourself that she was in a coma, it's not like she's going to notice us leaving for an hour or two.” He snapped back. Was Josh really that much of an arse? I'd never known the lad to be insensitive.  
“JOSH! What the bloody hell is wrong with you. I'm not leaving. I don't care if she knows or not. And I’m not leaving Niall and Louis either. Come on we can just get some food in the food court or something. Stop pushing this. I'll make it up to you later, I swear.” Harry pleaded.  
“Oh yes that's right. Don't leave your PRECIOUS Louis. It's not like there aren’t three other people who are here who can watch out for him. It just has to be you doesn't it.” Josh growled. Harry's eyes darted around the room, probably to check if any of us were listening. I dropped my gaze to my shoes so that he wouldn't catch me. 

Harry's POV  
What the fuck? Josh had never acted like this before. He'd never been so rude and insensitive before.   
“Are you insinuating something?” I asked him quietly.   
“Yeah maybe I am.” he snapped, raising his voice.  
“Josh stop. Please just stop. You know I would never do something like that. Louis is my best friend. He always has been and always will be, but you are my boyfriend. You know this. So why are you being such a bloody arse about this. Why can't you just be here to support us? To support me? Stella is your friend as well. Why are you acting like this RIGHT NOW?” I whisper yelled. All I wanted was to be with my friends and to have my boyfriend with me. Why was that so hard for him to understand. I couldn't leave Lou, he loves Stella like a sister. And Nialler.... I can't leave him either. He was absolutely crushed. He's hopelessly in love with her and now she's lying in a hospital bed in a coma.  
“Ugh seriously Harry, fuck this OK. I'm leaving. Call me when our relationship is a priority to you.” he snapped at me again before stomping off towards the lift. What the hell just happened here? Did we just break up?   
“Haz? Are you alright?” I looked up to find Louis and Niall standing before me. I tried to smile, but I’m sure I looked like I was in pain more than anything.  
“I'm fine. Don't worry about me.” I lied. Louis looked hurt. Had he overheard what Josh had said?  
“Haz I'm sorry you and Josh are fighting. You know, it'll be a while before we get to see Stella, if you want to go talk to him, don't feel like you have to stay with us. We can call you when they're ready to let us in.” Niall told me innocently. God bless the little leprechaun. I could practically see his heart breaking in his eyes and he's still trying to make everyone else around him feel better. I flung my left arm around his shoulders as I took Louis' hand in my right one. I wrapped my fingers tightly around his and squeezed, instantly feeling comforted.  
“Ni, it's OK. I'm right where I need to be. I'll deal with Josh later. Right now I need to be with my best mates.” I promised Niall. He smiled up at me and hugged me quickly before making his way back over to where Liam and Zayn were sitting.  
“Are you sure you're alright mate?” Louis asked as we watched Niall sit back down. I turned to him, pressing my body against his and nuzzling my nose into his neck. I gave his fingers another squeeze.  
“Don't worry about me boo. I'm going to be just fine as long as I have you.” I mumbled against his skin.


	16. Can You Hear Me?

Niall's POV   
It took another hour before Stella's dad and Dr. Miller came back out. As soon as I saw them I immediately jumped up and rushed towards them. I thought I saw a hint of a smile on Mr. Jones' face, but shrugged it off. He didn't even know me so that would really make no sense.  
"You boys can go see her now. Bare in mind that she is in a coma. It is possible that she may be able to hear you, but as I said before, we're not quite sure what's causing it. Now, I can't allow all five of you in at once. So you can either go in pairs or on your own. It's up to you. Her room is down the hall first door on your left. Room 750." Dr. Miller told us. We all turned to each other, ready to discuss how we would do this.  
"I'd like to go alone of that's alright." I whispered. I needed to see her by myself, to hold her hand and cry and admit everything, even of she couldn't hear me, without any one else present. Harry nodded.  
"I'll go with Lou." he said, gazing down at the brunette boy attached to his side.  
"And I suppose Zayn and I will go together." Liam said. "Nialler I think it's best if you go last. You'll want to stay the longest and rest of us should be going soon. We have a radio interview early tomorrow. We can make an excuse for you if you'd like to just stay here." he added softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded. He was absolutely right, I was all set and ready to stay here all night. So again I sat and waited as Liam and Zayn, and the Harry and Louis went into her room, each pair spending around half an hour inside before coming out with tears In their eyes.

Liam's POV  
Zayn and walked slowly towards Stella's door. It was obvious to me that Zayn was taking this just as hard as Louis was. He had known her the longest out of all of us. He stopped short right in front of the door and reached down for my hand.  
“Liam, I don't know if I can do this.” He whispered so softly that I just barely heard him over the hum of the florescent lighting above us. I gave his hand a light squeeze.  
“Zayn, you can.” I told him, trying to be as reassuring as possible. He shook his head violently, turning to face me.  
“No. Li I can't. I've been terrible to her lately. I've barely even spoken to her because I’ve been so bloody caught up in missing my girlfriend. And all I want to do right now is apologize and I can't even do that because she's in a bloody coma.” he said, tears beginning to form in his eyes. I've never really seen Zayn like this before. It was almost terrifying. He was always so reserved, especially with his feelings. I pulled him into a tight hug.  
“Z, it's OK. I understand. And Stella probably does too. But you can still apologize. Remember what the doctor said? She might be able to hear you? I bet it's true. I bet she can and I bet that if you do it, when she wakes up, she'll tell you that she loves you and that no matter what you guys are going to be friends because she understands. Now come on, lets get in there. I have some things I’d like to say to her too.

Zayn's POV  
Liam's right. I really needed to just buck up and walk in that door, tell her all the things I feel and how sorry I am for being so horrible to her. I slowly pushed the door open and walked into the room, taking in the sight of her. Seeing her lying there made my stomach turn. I pulled the chair leaning against the wall up to her bedside and took her hand.  
“Stella, babe, I love you so much. I hope you know that. I'm so sorry. So damn sorry. I've been a down right arse to you lately and you didn't deserve it. I was just moody and missing Perrie and I treated you like dirt. Oh god S please get better. Please wake up soon. I need my partner in crime back. I need to know that we're still OK and still best friends.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks and glanced back at Liam before looking back down at her and kissing her hand. “I love you baby girl. I'll be back tomorrow OK. And every day after that until you get better.” I whispered. I pushed myself out of the chair and walked over to Liam, pulling him into a hug before leaning against the wall and allowing him to take the seat I had just occupied.

Liam's POV   
I slid into the chair and took Stella's tiny hand in mine as Zayn had just done a few minutes ago. I thought for a few minutes about what I needed to say. Stella and I had never really been close at all. To be honest, I don't really think she liked me all that much. But I've always been kind of distant with her because I’m not quite sure how to act around girls aside from Danielle. I've just never been great at being friends with girls. Even with Eleanor and Perrie, I feel awkward. But I really do like Stella. She's such a great girl and fun to be around, and Danielle absolutely adores her.  
“Look Stella, I just want you to know that I do really care about you. You're such a wonderful person. You don't deserve this. You really don't. I just...... maybe I’ve been a jerk to you. I just don't really know how to be friends with girls. It's weird, I think. I'm quite wonderful with dealing with fans, if I do say so myself, and being with the lads is easy. But despite how long Danielle and I have been together and how comfortable I am with her, and despite the fact that I have two sisters, when it comes to girls, I'm absolutely clueless. I don't know what to talk about. But I promise you Stel, that I really do consider you to be one of my best friends. I love you and when you get out of this place, we'll be closer. Please just wake up soon, alright babe.” I gave her fingers a gentle squeeze and then stood up, gently setting her hand back down on the bed. “Feel better?” I asked Zayn as we walked out the door, tossing my arm around his shoulder.  
“Yeah, actually I do feel quite a bit better. You?” he asked back. I nodded.  
“Yeah.”

Louis' POV  
I sighed as I pushed the door open. I could feel Harry right behind me. To be honest, I wish I would have done this alone. I had a few things regarding Harry that I needed to get off my chest. But at the same time I felt so selfish, wanting to unload my problems on her when a, I wasn't even sure if she could hear me and b, she was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. I felt Harry's hand on the small of my back, sending a shiver up and down my spine. I mentally cursed myself for my reaction and prayed that he hadn't noticed.  
“Boo, do you want me to wait out here so you can have a minute?” Bless this beautiful boy. He's the most selfless person I've ever met, other than Niall. It was times like these when I wished I could just tell him how I feel. But that's never going to happen so......  
“No Hazza it's fine. I need you here with me.” I told him. He nodded and followed me inside. I sat down in the chair next to the bed and looked down at my best friend. “What do I even say Haz?”   
“Just talk to her. Tell her how much you love her. Whatever comes to mind boo. Whatever you think she would want to hear.” He told me reassuringly. I glanced back around at him, expecting to see him leaning against the wall out of the way, but to my surprise, he stood right behind me, gazing down at me with wide, mossy green eyes that made my heart soar. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and wrapped a long arm around my shoulders, calming me instantly.  
“Oh god. Where do I even start. Stella you need to wake up. You just have to. It's only been a few hours and already we're all falling apart without you. Zayn walked out of the room crying. And you know as well as I do that Zayn hardly ever cries. I know you're upset with him right now. I know he hurt your feelings, but he really does love you, Stel. He's just stupid sometimes. And poor Liam. He's trying so hard to hold us all together. Dammit Stella why. Why did this have to happen to you. I can't handle this. I just.... I c-can't do this all alone. I love you so m-much Stella and I need you right now. Things are so c-complicated and I don't know what to do. All I want is to wake up from this horrible dream that has been my life for the past few weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Please wake up Stella PLEASE” I was sobbing at this point. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. What am I going to do? Who am I going to talk to. Stella is practically family to me now. Like my sister. The only one I have left now. I can't lose her Like I lost them. I just can't.   
“Boo bear.” Harry whispered from behind me. He pulled me from the chair and into his arms, pressing me up against his body tightly. I nuzzled my face in his neck and cried even harder.   
“I need her. I need her here with me Haz. I need her. Everything is so fucked up and I just need her.” I sobbed. He rubbed my back soothingly.  
“Shh, Lou I know, babe. I know you do. It's going to be OK. Everything is going to be OK. I promise.” He whispered into my hair. “Boo, please just have faith that she will wake up. She will be alright and everything will be OK again. Her and Niall will be together forever and so will you and El. And you'll all get married and live happily ever after. And you'll be the godmother to all of their little Irish babies.” I chuckled a little bit.  
“Why do I have to be the god mother?”  
“Because between the two of us, you're the girl, and I'm OBVIOUSLY going to be the godfather.” he said matter-of-factly. I sniffled. Thinking about the rest of what he said while laughing a little.  
“Haz, I..... El and I will never work things out. Ever.” I told him.  
“Don't say that boo. You will if you love each other.” he was trying to comfort me but he just wasn't understanding.  
“No, Harry. We won't. And I don't want to. I'm better off without her. I love her. I really do, but she's not right for me.” I explained.  
“OK Boo.” He said, smiling down at me with that breathtaking smile. Fuck him. He's so beautiful that it really hurts sometimes.  
“Do you want to say anything to her?” I asked. He shrugged.  
“I don't know what to say. I'm not good with words, you know that.” He said, then looked down at her. He pulled one of his arms away from me and picked up her hand, squeezing it gently.  
“Stel, babe, I love you. That's really all I have to say right now. I love you and I want you to wake up because I miss you already. I miss you're bright smile and your pretty eyes. And I know that if you were awake right now and we were at home, we'd be sitting on the sofa eating massive amounts of ice cream and you'd run your fingers through my hair and tell me everything is going to be OK and all that. So get better and wake up because I miss you and I love you.”  
“That was beautiful Haz.” I whispered as he kissed her knuckles and set her hand gently back down on the bed. He just shrugged again and we headed out of the room. “I'm really sorry about what happened with Josh. Haz I know I shouldn't have been listening but....”  
“Louis, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Things have been tense with us for a few weeks. Maybe we'll work it out, maybe we wont, but you know what boo, as long as I have you, the lads and Stella, I'll be perfectly alright.” He told me, not letting me apologize for eavesdropping.  
“I love you Hazza Bear.” I whispered, pulling him close.  
“I love you too, Boo Bear.” He whispered back. Boy do I really wish he meant it the way I did.

Niall's POV  
"Well son," Stella's father placed a hand on my shoulder as he started to speak to me for the first time as all the boys left. "I've asked the doctors to let you stay. I, unfortunately, have a business trip I need to get back to and I want someone to be with her at night. Louis told me you'd be the one to ask. And I can see it in your eyes the way you feel about her. I'll be back in a week. Please contact me if anything happens. And take care of my baby. She's all I've got left in the world, Niall. She's everything to me." he told me. I nodded at him, trying desperately to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. He pulled me into a tight, yet incredibly comforting hug before making his way to the lift.  
This was it. This was the moment if been waiting for for hours. I walked slowly down the hall until I reached her door and pushed it open. Even with bruises and scratches all over her face and arms, even with wires and tubes connected to her arms, she is still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.   
“Stella.” I breathed as I slid into the chair. I inched it closer, resting my upper body on her bed as I took her hand and held it to my chest, pressing her palm down flat right over my heart. “I'm so sorry Stella. This is all my fault. I should have told you how I felt a long time ago. I had no idea, honestly I didn't. If I would have, none of this would have ever happened. We would be together. But you know what Stella, you know how I feel now. My heart is yours. This heart, right here, beats for you and you alone. It has since the minute I saw you, standing by the sunglasses rack at Rags. It's ridiculous really, I remember everything about that moment. You were wearing that black v-neck. You know the one. You wear it all the time and it always drives me crazy because every time I see it I get that feeling in my chest. The feeling I got when I first saw you. And your hair was down and wavy and you didn't have any make up on but you looked so beautiful and it hurt. I never thought I'd ever know you. I never thought that we would be here. When you said that to me, that you were in love with me, god I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest with happiness. I've wanted to hear you say those words for so long and it finally happened. Stella I can't lose you. I can't. I need you in my life forever and I just.... Stella I just love you so much that it hurts sometimes. You're my whole world. You are everything to me. The moon and the stars and the sun. You shine so bright. You always have. God I just, I'm just so damn in love with you. I promise I’ll never hurt you. I'll never break your heart. I'll never make you cry or make you feel like you are anything except the most beautiful, perfect angel. Because you are. I feel like you were sent down from heaven just to save me and you can't leave me now......” I tried my hardest to keep the tears from falling, but I just couldn't hold them in. I climbed into her bed, careful not to disturb any of the wires attached to her. I just wanted to hold her. I pulled the blanket back and slipped underneath it, gently taking her into my arms and hugging her tightly to my chest, burying my face in her hair as I sobbed quietly until I fell asleep.


	17. Love You More Than This

Niall's POV  
Fifteen days. Fifteen long days. That's how long it's been. I spent every single day at the hospital, every single night as well. The doctors and nurses knew me by name, and I’d come to know them. One of the night nurses, Annabelle, had brought me a cot the second night, but I made her take it back. Instead, I spent every single night in Stella's bed, holding her in my arms. On the fourth day, Zayn had brought me my guitar. Dr. Miller had been adament about not letting us all in the room together for the first few days, but he gave up after Louis and Zayn spent two hours harassing him and the nurses about it. He threatened to call security, Louis threatened to call Stella's father.   
It was 9pm, on the fifteenth day, and I was absolutely exhausted. All of the boys had been there with me most of the day, but Liam and Zayn had already left, leaving me with just Louis and Harry. Something was different about them. Or at least, different about Louis. Those two had always been so close, but now, the look in Louis' eyes as he watched Harry fiddle with the strings of my guitar, trying desperately to play something akin to an actual song, it looked like..... Love? But that can't be right. Louis is straight and Harry has Josh. At least, I think he still does. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what's going on with the two of them anymore. He won't talk about it and Josh never comes to the hospital to visit. Not since the first night at least.  
“Hey Lou? Could you go down and get me something from the food court? I'm quite hungry.” I lied. OK maybe it wasn't a lie, I was pretty hungry, but mostly I just wanted to talk to Harry about Josh, since I knew that he would be leaving soon and Louis was staying so I could confront him later. Louis shook his head at me, rolling his eyes.  
“Sure Nialler. Haz? Do you want anything?” he asked the other boy. Harry shook his head before turning back to my guitar and playing a very loud, and horribly out of tune, chord. Great, now I have to re tune it. Louis nodded at us, before walking out, shutting the door softly behind him. I cleared my throat to get Harry’s attention.  
“Do you need something else Ni? Some tea or something?” He asked, concerned.  
“What's going on with you and Josh, Haz?” I asked him, completely ignoring his question. I watched as the pink spread across his pale cheeks and he become flustered.  
“Ni....”  
“Haz come on you can tell me. Did you two break up?” He set the guitar gently back in the case and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  
“Um... I uh.... I'm not sure. Uh... We haven't really... Uh... talked much in the last few days. Erm...”  
“Come on Harry spit it out. What's going on?” I snapped. Honestly, I know it's really none of my business what goes on between him and josh, but I know Harry. I can tell when he's upset, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.  
“Nialler, look, it's not important.....” He started to protest, but I put my hand up signaling for him to shut up.  
“Haz it is important. You're my best friend. I love you and I don't want to see you hurt and I can tell that you are. What did Josh do, Harry?” I begged. He sighed, his eyes trained on the scuffed laminate floor beneath us.  
“Things have been bad for a while now Nialler. Like really really bad. He gets so mad sometimes and he thinks there's something going on with me and Lou.... It scares me. Sometimes he gets so angry that.... Um... He just gets really angry and we fight a lot.” He stopped short dropping his head into his hands and I could tell that he was hiding something from me. And I had a pretty good idea of what it might be.  
“Harry.” I started, pushing myself up off the chair and walking towards him. I squatted down in front of him and pulled his hands from his face, squeezing them in what I hoped was a comforting manner. “Has Josh ever hurt you? Has he ever his you?” I knew I needed to ask the question but I didn't want to know the answer. Harry is one of the most loving people I’ve ever met in my life. He's fiercly loyal and will do absolutely anything for the people he loves. Sometimes, though, he lets people walk all over him and he is definitely the type of person who will lay down and let someone hurt him if he thinks he deserves it, which he doesn't. As the words left my mouth I saw tears fill his eyes. He didn't even have to answer, I already knew.  
“Niall....” he choked on my name like it was the hardest word he'd ever have to say. I pulled him into my arms quickly. My stomach turned at the thought that Josh, one of my best mates, would lay a finger on Harry. How dare he!  
“Harry I’m so sorry! I'm so so so sorry. I can't believe I didn't see it. You don't deserve that Harry you know that right? That's not love.” I whispered.  
“Nialler I just.... I don't know what to do. I love him so much, I really do. And it's my fault. It all started when he caught me checking out Louis' bum one day. I don't even know why I did it! I've never thought about Lou that way before. And Josh saw it and he got so pissed. We'd already been fighting a little bit but that night was the first time he.... He punched me right in the eye. It was so... I don't know and then he looked so shocked like he couldn't believe he'd even done it you know. And he apologized for three days straight. I just thought it was a one time thing. But then it got worse and it started to happen all the time. But he'd always be really careful you know, he wouldn't hit me anywhere that anyone would see it. At least not after the first time. It just got so out of hand. But it was always because of something I did you know, so it's not like I didn't deserve it.....”  
“Harry Edward Styles!” I snapped. “How could you even think that this is your fault! Haz, no one deserves that. What Josh was doing to you is NOT OK. And you're not going back to him. Please promise me you won't.” I begged.  
“But Niall we have to work with him. It's not like I’ll never have to see him again.” he said, sounding defeated. He sighed.   
“Hazza, we can get rid of him. No one is going to want him around you when they find out about this...”  
“NO ONE IS GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS NIALL!” It was the first time I’d seen Harry actually get angry since our conversation started. I was a little taken aback by it. Here I am trying to tell him that he deserves better, that I’m not going to let anyone hurt him, and he's screaming at me. “I swear to god Niall if you fucking tell anyone about this I will never speak to you again. My relationship with Josh is MY god damn business. So pretend I never told you and everything will be fine.” He snapped. With that he pushed away from me and stomped out the door, storming past Louis, who had just gotten back with my food.  
“Haz where.....” Louis started to say, but Harry just pushed right past him, not even acknowledging his presence. Louis' face crumbled, but he quickly tried to recover, probably hoping I wouldn't notice how much Harry ignoring him affected him. “What happened Ni?” he asked curiously as I stood back up and reclaimed my seat next to Stella's bed.  
“Nothing. He's just having a hard time with Josh is all.” Louis winced at the sound of Josh's name. Alright, it was now or never. “You love him don't you?” I asked bluntly. Honestly, there was really no need to beat around the bush about it. Louis was either going to tell me or not and at this point, after fighting with Harry, I didn't really care who I pissed off. Louis looked up at me, eyes wide like he'd just been caught doing something bad.  
“W-w-what?” He stuttered. I just chuckled. It was pretty obvious now.  
“Harry. You love him.” It wasn't a question anymore.  
“Nialler I d-d-don't know what you're t-talking about.”  
“Oh come off it Lou. I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at him.... It's the same way I look at her.” I said, gesturing towards Stella. “It's not a big deal, mate. I mean, I didn't know you were gay, or bi or whatever..... Although with the amount of shoes you have... and all those stripes....” He looked terrified as I talked about it. I kind of felt bad. I was being particularly blunt about the whole situation. “Look, Lou, it's fine. I just don't know why you didn't say anything to anyone. It's not like anyone would have judged you. Think about just how fucked up we already are Lou. I mean, I had a crush on Harry during X-Factor and am currently in love with a girl who is not only in a coma and may never wake up, but has loved me the whole time and I never knew it. Harry is a bisexual in a.... um... confusing relationship. Zayn's girlfriend is named after a Disney cartoon character. Liam suddenly has two functioning kidneys and now drinks on a semi regular basis and now you're gay. Do any of us have any right to say anything about your feelings?” That may have come out a little harsher than I had intended.

Louis' POV  
“Niall....” I sighed, trying to find the right words to say. This was NOT a conversation that I had been wanting to have with anyone, but I guess I didn't really have a choice anymore. I know Niall. Niall doesn't leave things alone and he always wants to help. “Please don't tell anyone about this. I'm just... It's not that I think you lads are going to hate me. Believe me that's not it. I just, I don't quite know what's going on with me. I'm not gay.... It's just..... it's Harry. You get that right? I mean I knew you liked him once, so you understand right? I mean how could I not fall in love with him? He's the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen in my life..... Niall I don't know what changed. I never looked at him like that and then suddenly I was always so painfully aware of everything he did. It just hit me like a fucking train and now my life is just so.... Confusing.” I plopped down in the chair Harry had been in when I left. I felt absolutely exhausted.  
“Why don't you tell him?” Niall asked me simply. I laughed. Like it was that simple.   
“Right. And cause even more problems for him with Josh?” He looked at me funny, like he was surprised I knew that Josh and Haz had any troubles in their relationship. But I knew. It was obvious. I knew that Josh hurt him. I had figured it out after the third night Stella had been in the hospital, though, now that I knew about it, I feel like I should have figured it out sooner. Harry had gone over to Josh's to talk and when he came home he was limping and holding his ribs. He tried to hide it from me, running into his room as quickly as he could, but it was quite obvious. “I'm not stupid Nialler. I've seen the bruises. I notice that Haz doesn't walk around the flat in next to nothing anymore. I've seen him limping and in pain a few times. He doesn't know that I noticed, but I have. And it kills me. It breaks my heart into a million pieces but there's nothing I can do about it except stay away and keep my feelings to myself. If I just leave him alone then Josh has no reason to hurt him. Why do you think I called Larry bullshit on Twitter yesterday. Why do you think I’m not affectionate with him in public anymore. We still cuddle, we still tell each other we love each other, but we do it when we're in private, when it's just you three and no one else. I can't be the reason he gets hurt. He loves josh, and he'll never love me like that.”  
“But Boo he's being abused! And you knew about it and didn't say anything to any of us! If anyone can convince him to get out of the relationship it's you. It's not right Lou. It's not right and he doesn't deserve it and you know that! I'm sure if you just tell him how you feel.....”  
“Niall STOP! Please just stop OK. You don't know what you're talking about. Harry's not in love with me he's in love with Josh. I hate josh for hurting him, I do, but Harry is an adult and it's not our place to interfere. He would never forgive me if I were the reason he lost the love of his life and I can't live without him in mine so as I said, I’ll be more careful. I'll avoid doing all the things I know would have Josh pissed with him. I'll back off and go back to Eleanor or something, get another girlfriend maybe. As long as he is in my life, I’ll deal with it.” I told him. I desperately needed Niall to understand. Josh would never hurt Harry if it weren't for me and If I just stop then so will he. It's so simple.  
“And what if Josh doesn't stop? What if it's not enough? What if one night, Josh gets mad at him for something else and beats him so bad that he stops breathing. Do you remember what I told you a long time ago about the girl I knew back home?” he asked me. I nodded, swallowing a lump in my throat. “She ran away from home because she couldn't take the beatings from her dad anymore. One day she met this lad and she fell in love with him. They were engaged and planning their wedding, but he started beating her just like her dad did. All because she ran into me at a restaurant one day when I was home visiting my mum. It didn't start out that bad, but then one night he caught her talking to another guy on the street and he beat her so bad that she died right in the middle of the road. And you know who the man was she was talking to? Her brother. Don't act like it can't happen. Don't act like it can't get worse, Lou because it can. Josh could get upset with him over the stupidest shit and KILL him. And you've had the power to stop it for almost two weeks and you chose to say nothing.” Angry tears were streaming down his face, something I’d never seen before. But he was right. I love Harry more than anything in the world. And because I let this whole thing go, thinking that he'll always be around, I still might lose him. “Louis I love you, but you have to do something about this because he won't listen to me. You need to make this stop. Make him understand. Please!” he begged me. I wiped the tears from my own eyes and nodded, pulling myself out of the chair. I made my way over to him, leaning down and kissing the top of his head as I wrapped my arms around him.   
“I will Nialler. I will.” I whispered.  
“Go talk to him Lou.” He said softly. I nodded again. “I love you. Be careful. I'll see you later.”  
“I love you too Nialler. Thank you. Thank you so much.” and with that, I left.

Harry's POV  
It was an hour after I got home from the hospital when I heard the door to my flat open. I sat in my bed, naked and covered in blankets, furiously wiping the tears from my eyes. Louis didn't need to see me cry. He would know that something was up and want answers. Answers that I just couldn't give him.  
“Hazza?” He called out through the empty halls. I cleared my throat.”  
“I'm in here Boo.” I called back, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. He walked slowly into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. His big blue eyes looked sad and all I could think of was fixing whatever was making him hurt. I don't care what happens to me in life, I can handle anything that comes my way. I really can. But the second I know my Boo Bear is hurt I will do anything to make it better. To fix whatever is broken. I reached out, making grabby hands at him, letting him know that I wanted to cuddle.   
“We need to talk pumpkin.” he said softly. I love it when he calls me that. He's the only one who does. And he never says it to anyone else. It just sounds so amazing coming from his mouth. My feelings for him.... I don't know what they even are anymore. I know that I love Josh, but I can't help but think that maybe I love Louis too. I've always found him attractive, who wouldn't? He's beautiful in absolutely ever single way. But until a few weeks ago, I’d never really thought about it as anything more than that.  
“Boo, cuddle me. Please?” I whined. I just wanted him in my arms. He always makes me feel better and I think he feels the same way. “But... I'm naked so you should probably be at least mostly naked as well or else this could get pretty uncomfortable.” I shot him a cheeky grin and watched a light pink blush coat his cheeks. Shit that was adorable. He stood up from the bed with a nod and pulled all of his clothes off, leaving him only in his boxers. Lifting the covers up, he slid into the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my chest.  
“I need to ask you something Harry, and I need you to be 100% honest with me. Because I already know the answer and if you lie to me.... I don't know.” he whispered the last part, sounding so unsure.  
“Anything Boo.” I said, although I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. What if he asked about....  
“Is it because of me?” He didn't have to elaborate. I knew what he was talking about. He knew about Josh.  
“No.” I lied. Well, technically it wasn't his fault, it was mine, but it was because of him.  
“Harry...”  
“Fuck Lou what do you want me to tell you? It's not your fault OK it's mine.” I tried to pry myself out of his grasp but he held me tighter. The tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't hold it in anymore. “He just gets jealous and you're my best friend I’m not going to stop treating you the way I always treat you! That's not fair. You were here before him and if things don't work out for us you'll be here long after him. But he thinks I’m cheating on him with you and I keep trying to tell him that I’m not! I'd never do that! I mean yes you're attractive and I have thought about kissing you before and I love you so much Lou that I know that if for any reason we were ever together you'd be an amazing boyfriend... But I'm not a cheater. I just can't. Not after Caroline. Not after what she did to me. I could never do that to anyone. But I shouldn't flirt with you like that in front of him. But I just can't help it. It's how I am. I need to be more careful. If I was this wouldn't happen. I deserve everything that I get from him Louis, I really do. I'm shit as a boyfriend. I'm no good. I'm not good enough for anyone, even Josh!” I sobbed. He pulled me closer, pressing my face into his chest and running his delicate fingers through my messy curls.   
“Haz, babe.... You're wrong. I love you so much Harry and you deserve so much more than this. You are good. You're the best person I’ve ever met. You're so loyal and loving and attentive and if Josh was anything other than the absolute piece of SHIT that he is he would see that too. Whenever you walk through that door and I can see the tears in you r eyes, or you have bruises on your arms or legs... Harry it breaks my heart.” he told me softly.  
“Wait..... You've known? Niall didn't tell you?” I asked. I had honestly just assumed that Niall had spilled. He's shit at lying and keeping secrets.  
“No. I've known for weeks. Since after your fight at the hospital. Honestly, I think I’ve always known. And I could kick myself for not saying anything Harry. I promised myself a long time ago that I would take care of you. That I would protect you from anything that hurt you because you're so pure and good and I love you more than you'll ever understand. And I failed Harry. I failed at the most important job I’ve ever had. I don't care about any of the money or the fame or anything else in this world. I care about you. And I can't live without you Harry. I should have stopped this. I should have confronted Josh at the hospital when he was yelling at you. I wanted to. Maybe if I would have things would be different and you wouldn't be hurting so bad. Maybe you'd be.....” he stopped short.   
“I'd be what?” I asked breathlessly. He;d said that he loved me. I couldn't help but wonder if he meant it as more than mates. Is that what I wanted him to say? Do I feel the same way? Am I in love with him?  
“Maybe you'd be with someone who deserves you.” he sighed.   
“Like who?” I pushed. I couldn't understand why but I really needed to hear him say it. He sighed again.  
“Don't make me do this.” he whispered as he pulled away from me and sat up. He made to get out of the bed but I stopped him, sitting up next to him and turning so that we were face to face.  
“Louis.” I whispered. Our faces were close and I could feel his hot breath on my lips. He bit his bottom lip nervously before sighing for a third time.  
“Fuck it.” he breathed. Before I even had a chance to react, his left hand gripped the back of my neck and he crashed his lips down onto mine. I sat in shock as his lips moved gently against mine. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to kiss him back. To make him mine. But I was still with Josh and this was wrong. “Kiss me back.” he begged breathlessly against my lips, but I just sat there, still as stone. “Harry please kiss me back.” he whined. The sound of his voice, the way he said my name, I just couldn't hold back anymore. Gently, I nudged his lips with my own and he moaned into my mouth. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. His lips tasted like strawberries and something uniquely Louis and as wrong as I knew this was, I couldn't bring myself to pull away from him. We kissed for a long time, never deepening it or trying to go any further, before he finally pulled back panting. I stared into his blue eyes with my won green ones, terrified at what I had just done. He seemed to understand what I was thinking because he pulled me close and buried his face in my hair. “Oh god Harry I'm so sorry! I'm so terribly sorry. I shouldn't have done that! God I’m so stupid.” I pushed him back and looked into his eyes again before pecking him lightly on the lips.  
“Stop. Stop apologizing please. Just stop.” I begged. He was making me feel worse and I couldn't handle it. What he didn't understand, what I needed to tell him, is that I wanted it as much as he did. I could deal with Josh. Niall was right, we could make him leave, I would never have to see him again. What I couldn't handle is Louis feeling like he's ruined everything and being unhappy.  
“No Haz I made you into something you're not. I made you a cheater and I’m just so....” I silenced him with my mouth, kissing the apologies from his lips until I knew he wouldn't say another word about it.  
“I'll fix this. I'll end everything with him. I'll never go back to him, never see him ever again. Just please say it Louis. Please.” I begged softly. His eyes met mine and I could see it instantly. He was panicking. He didn't think he should but I knew that he would. I had left him with no choice.  
“I'm in love with you Haz.”


	18. Moments

Louis' POV  
When I woke up in the morning I felt like I couldn't breath, like someone was sitting on my chest. There was something hard pressing into my leg and I was hot all over. I pried my eyes open and looked down to find the most beautiful mop of curls resting on my chest. Harry. My Harry. At least, he would be once he ended things with Josh today. I tangled the fingers of my left hand in his thick curls as my right hand stroked the arm he had casually thrown across my waist. Pushing some of the hair from his face, I looked down at him, drinking him in. His mouth was open slightly, soft snores emitting from his plump pink lips. Every few minutes his nose would twitch in the most adorable fashion and my heart just melted.   
“Stop staring.” he suddenly said in his sexy, husky morning voice. I felt my face heat up as his eyes opened and he looked up at me with a sleepy smile.  
“Sorry.” I mumbled, completely embarrassed that he had caught me looking at him. I shifted my body and he moaned softly. And that's when I realized what it was that was pressed against my leg. “Sorry, sorry.” I whispered. He shot me a playful glare.  
“I don't think you are actually.” he said cheekily. He winked at me, sending another wave of heat rushing to my face.  
“Haz....” I started. I wanted to talk to him about what happened last night. To make sure this is what he wanted. That he really was going to leave Josh. He needed to anyways, but I had to know that he was sure.  
“Louis, please don't ruin this right now. Because in a little while we're going to get out of this bed and our happy little bubble is going to burst. When that happens, when I do what I need to do, I want to be able to think about this moment and let it carry me through the day. But you have to stop rubbing up against me or this is going to go from sweet to dirty in a matter of seconds.” he told me. And with those words he answered my question completely.  
“I love you so much Harry.” I whispered, not completely trusting my voice. He nuzzled his face into my neck and took a deep breath against my skin.  
“I love you more than anything Louis. I truly do.” he whispered back. We laid like that for a long time, probably at least two hours, before his phone rang. I reached for it since I was closer and more mobile and caught a glimpse of the screen as I handed it to him. Josh. His eyes met mine after he saw it and he answered it quickly. “Josh hold on a second, please.” he said nervously into the phone. He pressed the mute button, setting it down on the night stand. “I'm going to go do this. I'll be on the balcony OK. Please stay here. Don't leave.” he begged. I nodded nervously, terrified of what was about to happen.

Harry's POV  
I picked the phone back up and pulled on a pair of Jack Wills sweats before making my way out the glass door onto the balcony and unmuting the phone.  
“Where the fuck did you go?” was the first thing I heard come out of his mouth. Nice.  
“Josh we need to talk.” I told him.   
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean.” OK now, despite the fact that last night I’d been so angry with Niall that I had actually used the word a few times, I hate the f word. I really do. It's a horrible word and it makes me feel dirty when I use it. It's quite disgusting. So hearing it come out of Josh's mouth, and directed at me, made me feel horrible.  
“Please stop saying that Josh. Just listen to me.” I begged. He scoffed but didn't say anything so I took that as my cue to continue. “Josh I can't do this anymore. You've hurt me so many times in the past few weeks. It's not right and it's not fair. For a long time I thought I deserved it, I thought that it was my fault and I should just take it because we loved each other. But now I know what it's like to truly be loved and what you do to me is NOT love. I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want to speak to you ever again. Don't come near me or the other lads. Louis and I are going to management today to talk to them about finding us a new drummer. We both need to let go. I loved you so much and I devoted so much of myself to you that I stupidly allowed you to treat me like rubbish because I thought you felt the same but you didn't...”  
“Are you fucking serious right now Harry? Did he put you up to this? Fuck you then and fuck him too. You don't love me. You worthless piece of shit. You never loved me, obviously. If you did you wouldn't choose that fucking prick over your own boyfriend.” he argued but I couldn't take it.  
“YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND ANYMORE JOSH!” I screamed. I heard him whimper on the other end of the line and the glass door slide open. Louis stood there, worry in his eyes. “This conversation is over. WE are over Josh. You can't hurt me anymore. Goodbye.” I said and quickly hung up. Tears streamed from my eyes and Louis, being the kind hearted, amazing person he was, pulled me close, sitting down in the chair on the balcony and setting me in his lap.  
“It's OK pumpkin. Everything's OK. It's all over now. He's never going to hurt you again.” He said softly into my hair. I looked up into his eyes, wiping the tear from my own.   
“Louis I love you so much. But I.....” I started but he cut me off with a gentle kiss.  
“Haz, I've waited months for this. I can wait a little longer. I'd wait forever for you.” he said softly.  
“I'm not asking you to wait. I know what I want, and that's you. I've never been so sure of anything in my life Louis. What I was going to say it, I just..... You have to promise me that...” I paused, desperately trying to hold myself together. “Louis promise me you'll never hurt me. Please.” He pulled me back into his chest and tightened his grip around me, rocking us back and forth.  
“I promise I’ll never hurt you Haz. Believe me. You're far too precious to me. I would die before I could ever do something like that to you. I love you.” he whispered.  
“I love you too.”

Louis' POV  
I walked into the kitchen cautiously. It had been an hour since we had gotten back from out meeting with our managers, Nick and Pete, and I could tell it was emotionally draining for Harry. We told them everything, well almost everything. We had decided to keep our feelings for each other out of it, at least until we figured out where we stood. I was actually quite shocked by how well they took it. Harry had never told them about his sexuality or his relationship with Josh before, but they were quite supportive and agreed to let Josh go and find us someone new. Pete had asked Harry if he wanted to press charges, but Harry had said he just wanted to move past it and forget it ever happened. They had also given Harry their permission to come out at our next interview, but he told them he would have to think about it. In all honesty, I think he was waiting until all the drama was over and he and I could come out together. My sexuality was still a closely guarded secret. The only people who knew were Harry, Niall and Stella and I wanted to be able to tell Liam, Zayn and my family before anyone else found out.  
Which brings me to the kitchen, where I found Harry. He'd stripped down to his boxers the minute we got home and had headed straight in here and hadn't been out since. For the last hour I’d sat nervously on the counter, wondering whether or not he was OK and if he was avoiding me, but my curiosity had gotten the best of me so here I was, standing in the doorway, watching him. He looked beautiful, his back muscles tensing and flexing every time he moved. Chocolate curls bouncing with each step he took. He was whistling something familiar but I couldn't quite place it. All I wanted to do was touch him, be near him, but I didn't want to scare him. The day had been so intense for him and I didn't want to push too far. But I wanted to know what we were. Was I his boyfriend now?   
“Seriously Boo, you have to stop staring. It's flattering, really, but also creepy.” he teased, turning around to face me. Great. So now he's caught me staring at him twice. It kind of made me wonder how many times he'd caught me before and never said anything. My eyes raked over his body as I tried to steady my breathing enough to respond.  
“Do you blame me? You're kind of perfect Haz.” I tried to match his cheeky tone, but I’m sure I failed, as he started to chuckle softly.   
“We make quite the attractive couple don't we.” he told me, a cheeky smirk spreading across his face, making my heart race.  
“Are we? A couple I mean?” I asked before I could stop myself. Way to make things awkward Lou. I thought for sure I had blown it, but he just took a step towards me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead lovingly.  
“Louis William Tomlinson?” he muttered quietly. I looked up into his big green eyes, shining with love and happiness, something I hadn't seen in them in weeks. “Will you be my boyfriend?” I'm sure that if I had smiled any wider at his words, my mouth would surly not fit on my face anymore.  
“Of course I will.” I breathed. His smile spread to match mine.  
“I love you Boo bear.” he told me, leaning in to press a soft kiss to my lips.  
“I love you too, pumpkin.”

Niall's POV  
Something was different. Something big. I noticed it the minute Harry and Louis walked into the hospital room, grinning like fools at me and each other. I looked over at Liam and Zayn to see if they had noticed as well, and by the confused expressions on their faces, they had.  
“Hey Nialler.” Louis chirped happily, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. “Lovely day isn't it?” I raised an eyebrow at him and he shot me a wink. A smile grew across my face as I realized what was going on.  
“Should we have the sex talk then?” I asked in a cheeky tone? Both boys blushed bright red. It was nice to be able to tease them for once, especially since both of them were masters at the art of making ME blush.  
“The sex talk?” Liam asked.  
“What are you lads even talking about?” Zayn wondered. The three of us burst out laughing at their confusion.  
“Louis and Harry are in looooooooove.” I sang, wiggling my eyebrows and making kissy faces at them. Liam immediately spit out the tea he had just took a sip of and Zayn's jaw dropped. Louis coughed awkwardly as Harry smiled down at his feet.  
“What!” Liam and Zayn shouted at the same time. I laughed again, harder than I had in a long time. It was nice to laugh. Things had been so messed up lately that the good news was greatly appreciated.  
“Um..... well you see..... erm.... Louis and I.... we like.....” Typical Harry.  
“We're together. It's complicated. And it's up to Harry to tell you the whole story, but suffice it to say that we're in love and I haven't been this happy in a long time.” Louis cut off his stuttering quickly, reaching for his boyfriends hand and squeezing it. It was probably the most precious thing I’d ever seen. Liam beamed at them as Zayn continued to stare at them in shock.  
“Oh mate that's wonderful!” Li cooed.   
“But... I'm confused.... What about Josh?” Zayn asked. I could see Harry's body tense up at the mention of his ex's name and Louis looked up at him with comforting eyes. Harry returned his gaze and sighed, before turning back towards us nervously.  
“It's alright mate. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.” I told him.  
“No. I should.” he whispered. Louis pulled up a chair for him and Harry sat down slowly, playing with his fingers and trying to find the right words. “Look, lads, um, I know I should have told you all about this before but... I was scared and.....” he sighed again as Louis wrapped an arm around his shoulder, kissing his temple lovingly and whispering what I assumed were comforting words in his ear. Harry bit his lip and nodded. “For the past few weeks, well a couple of months actually, Josh and I had been fighting a lot. Mostly about Louis. Josh was jealous, he thought there was something going on between us, which I mean I guess.... erm.... I mean I have feelings for him, obviously so like, I don't know.... I guess he noticed. He wanted me to stop spending so much time with Lou and I wouldn't. It wasn't so bad for a while but then.... erm.... things got..... Intense, I suppose and Josh got.... Violent.......”  
“You don't need to say anymore.” Liam growled. I looked over at him and was honestly quite surprised by the look on his face. He looked ready to kill.  
“Liam, mate are you alright?” Louis asked, looking a little terrified. Angry Liam is something that no one wants to see, believe me.   
“Am I alright?” He growled again. “Am I alright?” his voice was rising steadily as he spoke and I could see the other lads were just as terrified as I was. “NO LOUIS I'M NOT ALRIGHT! I'll kill him. I. Will. Fucking. Kill. Him. How dare he THINK he can lay his hands on Harry. Hurt him like that. What will management say when they find out about this? You are planning on telling them correct? He must be fired. Or thrown in jail. Of FUCKING CASTRATED!”  
“LIAM!” It was Zayn who interrupted his screaming. He pulled the angry lad into his arms and hugged him tightly, trying to calm him.   
“Liam, it's taken care of. He's been fired. Haz and I had a meeting with management this morning. Please calm down mate.” Louis explained. Liam huffed, trying to regain his composure as his eyes fell on Harry and he instantly softened. Harry's eyes were glistening with tears.  
“Oh Hazza. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you I just.... You're my brother and I love you and the thought of someone hurting you makes me sick.” he said softly. Harry jumped from the chair and ran to Liam, flinging himself it Li's arms.  
“I love you Liam.” He mumbled into Liam's neck.   
“Hey Ni, how is she doing?” Louis asked me as our two mates had their moment. He pulled the chair Harry had been sitting in up next to me and sat down. I sighed, looking down at her precious face.   
“About the same, mate. It's so frustrating. I just want her to wake up and be with me.” I said sadly. Louis put his arm around me and gave me a light squeeze as Liam picked up my guitar from the corner of the room. Harry settled himself down on the edge of the bed in front of Louis and I. We listened to Liam strum the guitar for a few minutes until we all started to recognize the song he was playing. Tears instantly filled my eyes as he began to sing.  
Shut the door  
Turn the light off  
I wanna be with you  
I wanna feel your love  
I wanna lay beside you  
I cannot hide this  
Even though I try

Heart beats harder  
Time escapes me  
Trembling hands  
Touch skin  
It makes this harder  
And the tears stream down my face   
Harry joined in, singing his part as he reached for one of my hands and looked down at me.  
If we could only have this life  
For one more day  
If we could only turn back time 

You know I’ll be  
Your life  
Your voice  
Your reason to be  
My love  
My heart  
Is breathing for this  
Moment  
In time  
I’ll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today   
He and Liam sang the chorus softly as Zayn joined in, leaving Louis and I the only two not singing. I didn't know if I could do it. I'd always gotten emotional singing this song, but now it actually hit so close to home for me. As they finished the chorus, harry gave my hand a light squeeze, encouraging me. I looked down at Stella, willing her eyes to open with my mind as I mustered up all my strength to sing my solo.  
Close the door  
Throw the key  
Don’t wanna be reminded  
Don’t wanna be seen  
Don’t wanna be without you  
My judgment's clouded  
Like tonight's sky   
My voice cracked through the whole thing and I was more than happy when it ended and Louis took over.  
Hands are silent  
Voice is numb  
Try to scream out my lungs  
It makes this harder  
And the tears stream down my face 

If we could only have this life  
For one more day  
If we could only turn back time   
I zoned out when they all repeated the chorus. I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't even listen to Zayn singing his solo. All I could think of was Stella and how much I needed to hear her voice. I need her to tell me that she loves me and that everything is going to be OK. I kept my eyes locked on her as the boys finished the song. It felt like I had been staring at her for hours, when really it had only been a few minutes. And then something happened. I noticed a twitch in her nose. My eyes widened and I leaned forward, my face inches from hers.  
“Ni, what's wrong?” I heard Zayn ask but I ignored him. Then I felt her fingers move against mine.  
“Stella?” I said breathlessly. I heard shuffling around me and suddenly the other lads were leaning over the bed. There was movement behind her eyelids and we all held our breath as we waited to see what would happen next. I gave her hand a squeeze. Slowly, after what seemed like days, her eyelids lifted, revealing her big, mossy green eyes to the world. Louis immediately started sobbing as Liam ran out the door to get a nurse. I kept my eyes locked on her and soon enough eyes met mine and a curious look crossed her face. “Stella.” I whispered again. Her eyes widened as she looked up at me.  
“Where am I?” She croaked, her voice cracking from lack of use.  
“You're in the hospital. You were hit by a car.” Zayn explained, coming up to the bed to take her other hand in his.  
“Zayn?” she said, looking up at him. He smiled down at her.  
“Yeah babe, I’m here. We all are.” he said lovingly.  
“Who are they? Who is he.” And my heart shattered into a million pieces.


	19. Relax

Niall's POV  
My chest tightened at the sound of her words. 'Who is he?' I couldn't breath. Everything around me went completely still. My vision was blurry. I couldn't hear a thing other than her words repeating over and over in my head. How could she forget me?  
"No." I breathed. "No. No. No. NO!" One of the boys grabbed me by the waist as I started screaming and dragged me out of the room. "NO! This can't be happening. I can't.... NO!" I sobbed. Harry pulled me into his chest, rubbing my back soothingly.  
"Niall, babe it's going to be OK. Just calm down. Breath for me please OK? Deep breaths. She just woke up. Give her some time to get a grip on things. Just relax babe." He said soothingly. I gripped his shirt tightly in my fists, trying to control the tears but I just couldn't. Another, smaller hand started rubbing my back along with Harry's.  
"Nialler, the doctors are tending to her now. Haz and I are going to take you to get something to eat, OK babe? Come on, up you go." Louis said. I allowed them to pull me to my feet and followed them blindly towards the lift, where I promptly broke down again as the doors closed.

Stella's POV (Yeah! She's back bitches!)  
What the fuck? My head was pounding. My whole body was sore. Well obviously, I mean I haven’t used it for..... Wait how long was I out?  
"Zayn?" I called out. It had been about half an hour since I'd woken up and I wasn't quite sure where he went after the doctors and nurses came in, poking and prodding me.  
"Stella? Love I’m right here." I heard his voice coming from my right side and then I felt his hand slip into mine.  
"Zayn what's going on?" I asked him curiously.  
"Like I said, you were in an accident. You were talking to Niall and somehow ended up in the middle of the street. Honestly I’m a little hazy on the details, but a car came out of no where and hit you. You've been in a coma for...." he looked down at his watch, about to continue when he was interrupted by another voice.  
"Sixteen days." I looked up to find the blonde boy who was in here earlier standing in the doorway. He looked heartbroken, tears filling his big beautiful blue eyes and his voice cracking as he spoke.  
"Are you Niall?" I asked softly. When I’d woken up earlier, he had seemed so upset that I didn't know him and I didn't want to see that look in his eyes again, but I needed to know. He took a few steps towards me and sat down in the empty chair next to my bed. I felt Zayn's hand slip out of mine and I’m pretty sure I heard him leave, but I wasn’t' really paying attention. I was far too mesmerized by the blue eyed angel sitting in front of me. He nodded slowly in response to my question. "Can you tell me what happened?" He sighed.  
"We were talking. Um I wouldn't say arguing or anything... Erm, you took off across the street and then I said...... erm..... something and you stopped. And that's when the car hit you." I nodded slowly at him, trying to take it all in. "What did the doctors say?" he asked suddenly.  
"Um, that I’m fine. That they thought my foot was broken but it's just sprained and should be fine in a few days. And that I have amnesia." he winced as I said the word and I couldn't figure out why. "Are you alright?" I asked.  
"Yeah, just knackered."  
"You're lying. You're not very good at it either. What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"  
"No Stella, calm down. It's just.... We're..... Friends. It's just hard. Do you remember anything?" before I could answer the door opened and Zayn walked back in with the three other boys who had been in here earlier, along with a girl that hadn't been there when I woke up.  
"Stella, I know you don't remember, but these are your friends." He told me.  
"I'm Liam, and this is my girlfriend Danielle." The boy with brown hair and chocolate brown eyes told me with a wave and a point to the curly haired girl next to him. She nodded at me with a warm smile.  
"Harry." The tall boy with brown curls and green eyes said. I smiled up at him. He looked to his right, at the boy standing next to him and I followed his gaze.  
"I'm..."  
"Louis." I squealed. His face lit up as he lunged forward and pulled me into a tight hug.  
"You remember me!" he sobbed into my neck.  
"Of course I do. You're my best friend!" I told him with a laugh. I heard a loud crash and looked over to see the chair that Niall had sat in was laying on the ground and the blonde boy had bolted out the door.  
"Nialler!" Harry called after him, running out of the room to follow him.  
"What's wrong? What did I do?" I asked, looking back and forth between Louis and Zayn. Louis sighed and kissed my forehead.  
"You didn't do anything babe. Niall's just.... Upset. He wants you to remember him. You guys are very close." he told me.  
"We are?" That was confusing for me. I remembered Zayn and Louis, I mean of course. They’re my best friends. I assume I would remember that boy if we were best friends too. So why can't I? "I don't remember him. I remember you, boo. Although, I don't remember a lot. Like I don't remember how we met or why I would know you. I just know that we're best friends. And I remember Zayn. But I’ve known Zayn forever. I don't remember the rest of you. I'm sorry but I don't. How do I know you all?" My head was starting to hurt again and I wanted to cry.  
"Zayn, Liam, Harry, Niall and I are in a band together. You met us through Zayn months ago and we all became really good friends." Louis explained.  
"Oh." it was all I could think to say. I tried desperately to remember even the slightest detail of my life with them but I came up blank. Why is this happening to me. And why does it bother me so much that Niall is so hurt?  
Niall's POV  
Louis. She remembers god damn Louis. How could she just forget me? I don't understand. I felt like my heart was literally put through a paper shredder, taped back together, and then put through it again.  
"Nialler!" Harry called after me. I stopped running and turned to face him. As soon as he got to me he pulled me into a tight hug. "Nialler it's gonna be alright. I promise. But you have to stop running away from this, OK mate? You need to face this."  
"I CAN'T FACE THIS HARRY! I can't do it! She remembers Zayn! She even remembers Louis! I don't understand how she can just forget me like that!" I sobbed. This is too much. I could feel myself starting to panic. What if she never remembers me?  
"Niall of course she remembers Zayn. They've known each other since they were knee high. Not quite sure how she remembers Lou, but that's a good sign though, right? It means she'll probably remember all of us soon. You just have to be patient. You both love each other. That's not going to go away." He told me softly.  
"But what if it does, Haz? She doesn't know who I am. What if she never loves me again. I don't know if I can live with that for the rest of my life. What if she meets someone else and I have to watch her love someone who doesn't deserve her all over again because she doesn't remember that I love her and she loves me?" I cut myself off, hyperventilating. My heart was beating at a mile a minute and I was starting to get dizzy at the thought.  
"Ni, calm down. Look, lets get back in there. I think the doctor just walked in. Maybe he'll be able to tell us how long she will be like this and that might make you feel better, yeah?" I nodded, attempting to steady my breathing as I followed him back into the room again. He was right, Dr. Miller was standing beside her bed when we came back, but he wasn't saying anything, they all just stared at us as we walked in.  
"We asked him to wait for you, Ni. Figured you'd want to hear this too." Louis told me when i shot him a questioning look.  
"Thanks." I mumbled softly, slightly embarrassed and wondering how long they had been standing there waiting on us.  
"Right so since you're all here now....." Dr. Miller started. He turned to face Stella before continuing to speak. "Ms. Jones, as we told you when you woke up, you're foot is not broken so I'm going to have one of the nurses come in and wrap it for you and we won't have to put a cast on it. You will need to be careful for a few days and try not to put too much stress on it though. And we are going to keep you for one more night just to make sure there are no other issue's now that you are awake."  
"What about the amnesia?" I asked. I really couldn't help myself, although, I knew I should have probably kept my mouth shut. But I mean honestly, if the love of your life had suddenly forgotten you, wouldn't you be persistent in trying to find out when they would remember? So can you really blame me? Didn't think so...  
"That's the question isn't it? Look, boys, I'm sorry but I'm really not sure. You never can tell with these things. What I can say is that it's a good sign that she remembers some of you. But since we are on the subject, I have a few questions for all of you. They may help us figure out how long this could take." We all nodded, letting him know that we were willing to answer whatever questions he had. "Alright, so first of all let me ask you how long you all have known her."  
"I've known her since we were kids. We kind of grew up together. But the lads have only known her for a few months. They all met her at the same time." Zayn explained.  
"And how did you all meet?" They all looked at me. What were they expecting me to say? How awkward would it be for me to explain right in front of her that I had basically stalked her for months before we actually met? I mean sure, she already knew that, but she didn't remember and if she never did, I was afraid that would freak her out.  
"Obviously, through Zayn." Louis finally said when he realized that I wasn't going to say anything.  
"And the nature of you relationships with her?" Again, they all turned to me. I gave them all a 'Seriously' look and sighed, annoyed. They were making everything so awkward and Stella was starting to catch on, watching me with an unreadable expression on her face. What is she thinking?  
"We're all just friends." It was Harry that came to my rescue this time, before quickly adding "Some of us OBVIOUSLY closer than others....." under his breath, shooting me a pointed look that made me kind of want to punch him in his bloody face.  
"Well that's what I would like to know if you all don't mind?" Stella said.  
"Before that though, I have one last question. What exactly was taking place when the accident happened." Dr. Miller asked. I felt all eyes on me for a third time, and knew I didn't really have a choice this time.  
"We were.... Erm.... Not fighting but.... Uh, I don't really know how to explaining. We were kind of fighting, but not really." I tried to explain without going in to any detail. If I was going to tell her exactly what it was we were arguing about, I was going to do it in private.  
"Well then, it's possible that the reason she doesn't remember you specifically is because you were present when the accident occurred. It's rare, but that happens sometimes. What I suggest is this, reintroduce yourselves. That's really the only thing you can do. Go about your lives and do the things you usually do. Routine helps trigger memories. Also, take her to places that hold special meaning, show her pictures of important moments. Tell her stories. As you do all of these things, the memories should start coming back. But I will tell you, it can be a slow process. And there's no guarantee that she'll remember everything. You just have to keep trying. I'll leave you guys be now. And as I said, we should be able to release her tomorrow." He explained to us. He headed out the of the room.  
"So.... Where do you want us to start?" Liam asked after a few minutes of letting everything the doctor had said sink in.  
"I don't know. I just... My head hurts. Can I just sleep?" Stella asked us.  
"Of course, love. We can talk about all of this tomorrow." Louis told her. "Come on lads." he said to all of us. I made to sit down in the chair but Louis caught my wrist, pulling me out the door along with them.  
"What are you doing?" I snapped at him. I didn't want to leave. I needed to be with her.  
"Niall, she doesn't remember you right now. She's terrified, do you really think it's a brilliant idea for you to be the one that stays? It's just going to confuse her more. Besides, you should come home with us. Sleep in your bed, shower in your own bathroom. You need a break. She's awake now, she'll be fine for just one night without you." he told me.  
"Lou......." I wanted to argue but I knew he was right. It would only cause her to ask questions and I didn't want her to freak out. "I don't want her to be alone though"  
"I'll stay with her." he promised. Harry gave him look like he didn't want him to, but didn't argue. I nodded. I could live with that.  
"Alright, I'll go home. Haz do you want me to ride with you since Lou is staying here?" I asked, figuring he didn't want to make the 30 minute drive alone.  
"Uh, yeah. Why don't you head out to the car. I'll be down in a minute." He tossed me the keys and looked back to Louis and I knew I needed to get myself out of there before they started snogging.

Harry's POV  
I waited for Niall to leave before I pulled Louis into my arms and held him tightly. I knew Ni wouldn't want to see us being affectionate right now, what with Stella not remembering and all. I figured it would be good to give him a little bit of a break.  
“I know it's selfish to say, but I really don't want you to stay. I would never tell you not to and I know that you should. I just want you to come home with me, is all.” I told him honestly.  
“I know Haz, but...” I cut him off with a kiss. It still blows my mind that I can do that now. I don't think it's something I’ll ever get used to that's for sure.  
“Lou, it's OK. I just wanted you to know that I’ll miss you.” I said, staring down into his gorgeous blue eyes. His lips curled up into a small smile as a light pink blush dusted his cheeks. I couldn't help but giggle at it, lifting my finger up to poke it.  
“Harry Styles! Did you just giggle at me?” He teased.  
“So what if I did?” I pressed my lips to his one more time. When he pulled away (much too soon might I add) he nuzzled his face into my neck for a minute, and I could feel his warm breath against my skin, causing me to shiver. I gave his body a squeeze and before reaching up to tug his gray beanie off of his head. “I think I'll take this, Boo.” I told him with a smirk, pulling it over my curls. He rolled his eyes at me but didn't try to take it back.  
“You should probably get going before Niall changes his mind and comes back up here.” he said, somewhat sadly. I could tell he wished that I could stay, or that he could just come with me, but we both knew he needed to be here, not just for Niall, but for Stella too.  
“I love you boo.” I whispered into his ear before kissing him one final time.  
“I love you too pumpkin.”


	20. You've Begun To Feel Like Home

Louis' POV  
“So why am I not going to my own apartment again?” Stella asked me and Niall for the four hundredth time. I was trying, really really trying, to be patient with her because I knew she didn't remember much. After a long talk the night before I started to realize that there wasn't a specific point at which she stopped remembering her life. It was hit or miss. She remembered me and Zayn and her dad, but none of the rest of her family and friends. She remembers her mum as well, but doesn't seem to remember what happened to her. She remembers moving to London, but not when or why and she doesn't remember much about her life before she got here, only bits and pieces of her childhood. It was MUCH worse than Zayn and I had thought, than even the Doctors had thought. And to be quite honest, it was concerning.   
“Because... Look Stel, love, it's a long story OK. And we are, but only to fetch your things. You're staying with Harry and I while we figure this whole thing out so we can look after you. And before you roll your eyes and give me that pouty I-don't-need-a-babysitter look, you've no say in the matter. I've already spoken with your father and he agrees with me.” I explained. We'd been having this argument off and on for the last 12 hours, but by the look of defeat in her eyes, it was clear to me that I had finally won. Not that it mattered. She didn't really have a choice.   
“Fine. But.... can you just give me something? You haven't told me anything Lou and I just need something. I told you everything I remember, which obviously isn't much at all, but you just.... You haven’t given me anything. Please? I mean there are a million things you could tell me.” she was begging now and I couldn’t really keep resisting it any more. With a heavy sigh, I FINALLY agreed to answer a few of her questions, despite the fact that the lads and I had agreed not to tell her anything until we had discussed it first.  
“What do you want to know first?”  
“Am I in school? I think I remember being in collage before moving here. Did I transfer or something?”  
“No. You have a job though. It's at this place called Rags. It's like a really cool, vintage, hipster clothing store.” I told her. She nodded, an impressed look on her face.  
“What about a boyfriend? I don't remember having one but I feel like.... Um... Do I have one?” Well that was just a little weird.  
“No. You, erm, you had just broken up with your boyfriend the night of the accident.” I explained.  
“Niall?” she whispered, so that the blonde boy couldn't hear. I shook my head violently.   
“No, no no. You and Niall are, um, just friends. You were dating a guy named Conner. He wasn't a very good boyfriend.” Niall huffed loudly and I sighed again. This was harder than I thought. “Look, maybe this is a bad idea. We'll talk about this later, yeah? Come on, we're here anyways. Lets go inside and get your things and then be off. She nodded, albeit reluctantly, and followed me in getting out of the car. We had barely made it to the door of the building when I heard a sickeningly familiar voice behind us.  
“Stella?” I whipped around to find Conner walking towards us. Shit.  
“Um....”  
“What are you doing here Conner?” I growled. He put his hands up defensibly as he came to a stop right in front of us.  
“Easy Louis. Don't bite my head off. I just came to talk to my girlfriend.” For a second I thought he was maybe talking about Jess, until I caught him looking at Stella with a feigned look of regret in his eyes. I may be a singer, but I'm an actor at heart and I can spot fake emotions from a kilometer away.  
“erm....”  
“She's not your girlfriend anymore. Now, if you'd be so kind as to leave, we'll be on our way.” I snapped.  
“See that's where you're wrong Tomlinson. She never actually broke up with me. She just hasn't talked to me in a few weeks. I'm sure we're perfectly fine now. Right love?” I looked down at Stella who looked between the three of us confused  
“Um... I don't... What...” She mumbled. I looked up at Niall and the look on his face terrified me. I opened my mouth to speak in an attempt to diffuse the situation, but Niall quickly beat me to it.  
“Stella, go inside. we'll be in in a minute.” she did as he told her to, and as soon as she was out of sight he grabbed Conner by the collar and slammed him up against the wall. “Listen here you selfish prick. You stay far, far away from her. Do you understand me? I don't want to see you round here ever again. You better believe that if I do I will not hesitate to beat your bloody ass into a pulp and leave you lying dead in the street like the bloody cunt that you are. Understood?” he growled, his fingers curling around Conner’s neck.  
“You can't control her Horan. If she wants to take me back....”  
“She doesn't! She doesn't even remember you you bloody bastard. She was fucking in an accident. She lost most of her fucking memory and she doesn't fucking need you fucking coming back around and fucking messing everything up.”  
“NIALL!” I shouted. This had gone on long enough and Conner’s face was beginning to turn blue from lack of oxygen. “Let him go. He's not worth it.” Niall, red faced, steam practically pouring our of his ears, dropped the other lad out of his grip, sending him crashing to the ground below. Conner jumped to his feet and glared into Niall's eyes.  
“You know what, Blondie. You can have her then. I don't usually like my toys defective.” Niall swung his fist back to punch him, but Conner was too fast, bolting away before contact could be made. Nialls fist went flying into the brick wall before he could stop it.  
“FUCK!” He screamed, cradling it, bloody knuckles and all in his other hand.   
“Are you alright Nialler?” Obviously I knew he wasn't but it didn't hurt to ask anyway. He shook his head, just as I expected he would. “Should we go to the...”  
“Don't! Don't fucking say it. No. I don't want to go there. I'll be fine. I can move my fingers so they're not broken.” he snapped.   
“OK OK. Forget I asked. But we really should clean up the blood mate. Before we go inside so that Stella doesn't ask questions. Here.” I pulled some tissues out of my back pocket and wiped at his bloody knuckles carefully.   
“Lou... Why are you carrying tissues in your back pocket?” He looked up at me with a slightly confused, slightly disgusted look on his face. It took me a second to realize what he was implying, but once I got it I scrunched up my face in disgust.   
“Nialler! You're bloody disgusting mate! I've carried them around because we've all been crying so much you wanker.” I squealed. I punched him hard in the arm and he laughed at me. “Besides, I've managed to land Harry so I don't quite need to do that anymore mate.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he grimaced.  
“You're too easy Lou.” It was nice to see him smiling for once. It was something I hadn't seen in weeks. Especially since Stella had woken up. Ever since that night he's been particularly miserable, but he's tried so hard to hide it, forcing laughs and smiles and frowning when he thought no one was looking. Frowning and tears just don't look right on happy, bubbly, carefree Niall and it bothered me. “What?” He asked curiously, snapping me out of my thoughts. I hadn't realized I'd been staring at him until then. Out of nowhere, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into the tightest hug possible. “Lou what are you doing?” He groaned, and yeah maybe I was squeezing him a little too tightly but who cares.  
“I love you Ni.” I told him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged back.  
“I love you too, Lou.” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Are you alright mate?”  
“Yeah I just.... It's nice to see a real smile on your face Niall. I missed it. And I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I'm always going to love you and you'll always be my brother. Always.” I buried my face in his neck and he giggled. The boy is so damn ticklish. I looked back up at him before burying my face again in his neck and placing a big slobbery kiss on the skin, sucking hard.  
“God! Lou you bloody arse! I'm telling Harry!” He squealed, pushing me off and wiping the drool off of his neck  
“Oh don't pretend you didn't like it.” I teased, inspecting my handy work. The mark was large and bruising quickly. I fist pumped, cheering loudly.  
“You're such a whore.” he huffed, trying hard not to smile.   
“Love you Ni Ni.” I squealed. He rolled his eyes at me.  
“Love you too Lou.”

Niall's POV  
It was hard not to be in a good mood when Lou was around and acting like such a child. I'd been so miserable for so long that it was nice to be able to genuinely smile. I threw my arm around his shoulder and we made our way inside the building. Stella was sitting in a chair in the lobby, looking a little lost. She caught sight of us and her eyes lit up when she saw Louis. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest when I saw that.  
“Come on love, let's get upstairs.” Louis said, leading the way to the lift. She looked up at me with big green eyes and smiled, catching my hand in hers. My heart raced at the feeling of her warm skin on mine. What was she doing? She must have noticed my shock because she quickly dropped my hand and mumbled an 'I'm sorry' but I reached for hers again, lacing our fingers together.  
“It's OK.” I whispered. She beamed up at me. Maybe I was just kidding with myself, and maybe I was only breaking my won heart, but she had wanted to hold my hand. I wasn't about to let that go.

Stella's POV  
I'm not really sure why I felt the need to hold his hand. Honestly, it just felt right. Like an automatic reaction. It made me wonder what our relationship was. Louis had said that Niall and I weren't together, but did I have feelings for him before the accident? I couldn't help but think that I must have. Every time he looks at me I go weak in the knees. I know it sounds so cheesy.  
He gave my hand a little squeeze and all I wanted in that moment was to be able to kiss him. I knew that I shouldn't have been feeling that way. I needed to figure out what was going on in mu life, my memories and what we were before all of this, but I just couldn't help it. There was something about the adorable blond boy that made my insides go a little crazy.

Harry's POV  
I miss you. Xxxx   
My heart raced in my chest as I read the text. I'd just been putting around the kitchen, minding my own business when I heard my phone buzz, alerting me that I had a new text from Louis. I still couldn’t get over how happy I was to be with him now. Everything had changed so much in the past few weeks. We'd all been so miserable lately, but Louis was like the lighthouse guiding me away from the storm. I know it sounds cheesy. Believe me, I feel cheesy, but it's just, whenever I looked at him my heart just melted.   
“What's got you in such a chipper mood mate?” Zayn asked from the kitchen entrance. Him, Danielle, Liam and I had been sitting around most of the day watching random movies and playing Fifa while we waited for Louis, Niall and Stella to get. We'd decided it was best if just Ni and Lou went to pick her up from the hospital, as we didn't want to overwhelm her with all of us at once.  
“Um, nothing, just got a text from Lou is all.” I felt my cheeks burn and Zayn smirked at the sight.  
“You two.” he said quietly, shaking his head.   
“What?”  
“Nothing, just..... I don't know. It's just nice to see you both so happy, especially after everything you lads have been through.” he told me. I smiled up at him as my phone buzzed again.  
When we get home, I’ve got something I'd like to talk to you about. Don't panic, I promise it's nothing bad. Just something I’ve been thinking about that night :) xxxx  
My heart sped up again. What could he possibly need to talk to me about? To be honest, I had something I wanted to ask him as well. Ever since I woke up next to him yesterday morning, I'd been thinking about being able to do that every morning.  
“Honey! I'm home!” I heard his musical voice call out from the front hall a few minutes later. A small half smile made it's way onto my face as I walked out of the kitchen and into the hall to find the three of them, weighed down with Stella's bags.  
“Where should I put these?” Niall asked me, grunting under the weight.  
“In the lounge for now.” I told him, pointing towards the other room. He made his way into the lounge with Stella hot on his heels as Louis set down the small suitcase he was holding and looked at me curiously.   
“Your room to talk?” he asked and I nodded quickly, following him down the hall and into my bedroom before pushing the door shut behind us. He made his way over to my bed and sat down, fiddling with his fingers nervously.  
“What's wrong boo?” He was starting to worry me. He'd said that what he wanted to talk about wasn't bad, but he was so nervous that I couldn't help but be nervous as well. And uneasy feeling settled in my stomach at the sight of him, staring at the floor. It took him a few minutes to respond to my questing, but soon enough he raised his head, blue eyes meeting my green ones and a shy smile spread across his face.  
“I was thinking, Haz..... We don't have a guest room, you know, and I know you offered to sleep on the couch so Stella could take your room but.... Um, well I thought maybe, instead, she could take my room and I could.... um, you know, just stay in here with you.” he dropped his gaze to the floor once again, as if he actually thought I would say no. I stared at him for just a moment before launching myself on top of him, pushing him back so that he was laying down on the bed and covering his face with kisses. “I'll take that as a yes?” he giggled, the most adorable sound I’d ever heard in all my life.   
“Of course Boo.” I whispered. Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him further back onto the bed with me and let him snuggle into my chest. We laid together like that for a long while, his face pressed into my neck, my fingers running through his hair, before a thought popped into my head. “Why my room?” I felt a short puff of his breath against my skin as he let out a small laugh.  
“It's quite stupid really.” he mumbled.  
“Oh come one, tell me.” I begged. He sighed softly.  
“I like your room better than mine.” his response was too quick and I knew there was more too it than that.  
“mhmm and?” He pulled back and rolled his eyes, his cheeks tinged pink.   
“I just.... It's your scent. It clings to everything in your room, the sheets, the pillows, your jumpers. And I quite fancy the idea of being surrounded by it every day when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. It's comforting. It feels like home. And sometimes, when you're not home, I come and sit in here and just breathe it all in. I know that sounds stupid and possibly a little stalkerish, but it just makes me feel closer to you. That's why.” I felt tears well up in my eyes as he spoke and I couldn't hold them in much longer. They spilled down my cheeks like a waterfall and Louis reached his hand up to my face, wiping them away with his thumb.   
“I didn't.... I...” I tried hard to get the words out. I really did, but they stayed stuck in my throat. He pulled me close, kissing the top of my head and rocking me back and forth.  
“I love you Haz.” he whispered.  
“I love you too Louis. So so much. More than you'll ever understand.”  
“Not to ruin the mood or anything...” he started after a minute or two. I pulled back from his chest and eyed him suspiciously. “....but I gave Ni a pretty nasty love bite. Just thought you should know.” he winked at me. I glared at him playfully.  
“How dare you!” I cried, smacking his chest. He laughed, rolling on top of me and leaning down, his lips grazing my earlobe.   
“I promise I didn't enjoy it as much as I'm going to enjoy this.” he whispered before lowering his lips to my collarbone. Shit. I felt his teeth graze the skin before he attached his lips to my neck and bit down, sucking hard.  
“Mm mm Lou.” I moaned before I could stop myself. He smirked against my skin, soothing the mark with his tongue before leaning back just slightly to inspect the damage.   
“Probably my best yet.” he chuckled. I shoved him off of me gently and ran for my bathroom, flicking on the light and checking it out in the mirror. It was large and dark, and would probably be visible for weeks. Management was going to kill me.  
“LOU!” I groaned as he made his way into the bathroom behind me. His arms wrapped around my waist and I felt him chuckle against me.  
“Sorry love.” he said, feigning innocence. “Maybe you can return the favor later.” I just rolled my eyes at him. What a child.


	21. Memories

Stella's POV  
“Sooooo... Tell me things. Please? Tell me about your band. Are you good? Are you famous? What kind of music do you make?” I tossed questions at the boys relentlessly. It had been three days since I'd been home from the hospital and they weren't telling me anything at all. When I asked Louis about it, he said it was because they wanted me to be able to get adjusted to our living situation first. I'm not really sure what I needed to adjust to but I didn't really feel like arguing at the time so I didn't push it. But I was starting to get impatient. Really, I just wanted to finally figure out what my relationship with Niall was. I felt differently about him than the other boys. Now we were sitting in his apartment, Harry and Louis curled up on the loveseat, Zayn and Liam both sitting on the floor, and Niall and I taking up the couch.  
“Well, not to brag or anything, but we ARE one of the biggest boy bands to come out of the UK in years.” Liam stated proudly.   
“So you're famous! That's so awesome. I wanna hear some of your songs. Please guys!” I begged. Niall laughed, something I've never heard before, well at least not that I can remember, and it was possibly the cutest sound I’ve ever heard.  
“I'll go get Up All Night.” he told the other boys and they all nodded in agreement. He ran out of the room only to come back a few minutes later with a CD in his hands. He dropped it into his DVD player and pushed the play button. “I'm going to put it on shuffle.”  
“I'm broken. Do you hear me? I'm blinded cause you are everything I see.....”  
“Who's that?”  
“That's Liam.” Louis told me. I smiled brightly down at Liam.   
“You're voice is really nice Liam.” A deep red blush covered his cheeks at my compliment.  
“When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight, it just don't feel right....”  
“That's me!” Harry exclaimed excitedly. Louis rolled his eyes and gave him a loving pat on the head.  
“”Aw Haz you're voice is so manly!” I cooed, before realizing what I had called him. His jaw dropped a little as he stared at me.  
“You called me Haz!” He squealed. Zayn reached over and paused the music and I found five pairs of eyes staring at me excitedly.   
“Um..... Yeah I..... It just seemed right. I don't know.” I mumbled, embarrassed.  
“Stell, do you remember something about Harry?” Liam asked, placing his hand on my knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. I thought for a moment to see if anything came to me, only to have a memory flash through my mind.  
******  
“Where are all the girlfriends?” I asked. Harry pouted at me. “And boyfriend.....” A smile spread across his face.   
“Josh has family stuff to do today so he said he would meet up with us later.” He sighed happily.  
“So he IS your boyfriend then?” Louis asked. A deep red blush spread across Harry's cheeks as he nodded.  
“Do my eyes deceive me? Or am I actually seeing Harry Edward Styles blush.” Liam teased. Harry's hands immediately went up to cover his crimson face and I wrapped an arm around him. The boys all burst into a fit of laughter, so Harry buried his face into my neck.   
“It's OK Harry. Pay no attention to the mean little boys.” I cooed. I felt him shake with laughter against me.  
******  
“Is Josh still your boyfriend?” I asked. Harry sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth and chewed it nervously as his eyebrows furrowed. “Um, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it.”  
“No, it's OK. You should know. Josh and I dated for a while but we broke up while you were in the hospital. It was complicated. But I'm better off now.” He shot me a soft smile, letting me know that it was OK that I asked.  
“While I was in the hospital? Was it, um, my fault or something?”  
“Ha. No it wasn't. There were a lot of different things wrong in our relationship. Trust me, babe.” He assured me. I nodded, content with the answer. “What exactly did you remember, by the way?” I laughed.  
“The boys were teasing you about him being your boyfriend.” I said. A wide grin stretched across his face.  
“You smelled quite nice that day.” He shot me a wink and I giggled, tossing the throw pillow I had been holding in my lap at him.  
“Zayn start the song again!” I pleaded and he reached back over to push play. We got through the rest of the chorus before I felt Niall tense up beside me and as the lyrics to the second verse started, I got a flash of another memory.

******  
“if I’m louder would you see me? Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me? Cause we are the same. You save me but when you leave it's gone again.” he sang softly. He obviously thought I was asleep and I didn't want to let him know he was wrong, so I tried my hardest to control my breathing and keep my eyes closed. “Oh Stella. I wish you understood how much you mean to me.” he said, fingers tracing my arm. “I would go to the ends of the earth for you. I love you.” and with that he fell asleep. I waited until I heard his soft snores fill my ears before finally saying the words I’d been dying to say since the day we met.  
“I love you too Niall.”  
******  
“That's...”  
“Niall.” I stated simply. I felt like I was in shock. What had I just remembered? Did this mean that he was in love with me? Were we on the verge of being together? Or was it just a friendly I love you? I knew what my own feelings were, I was, without a doubt, in love with him. I could feel it as the memory flashed through my mind, and I’d been feeling it ever since the day I woke up in the hospital to find him sitting right next to me holding my hand, I just didn't know what it was until now.  
“How did you know that Stella?” Zayn asked me curiously. I looked over at Niall, who was staring at me wide eyed. He looked terrified.  
“Um..... Lucky guess?” I lied. My eyes caught Louis' and I could tell that he didn't look convinced by my answer.  
“Guys, I'm getting kinda hungry. I think I'm gonna go get some take away. Chinese maybe? What do you all want?” Louis asked all of us, but his eyes stayed on me the whole time and I knew that he wanted to talk to me in private. I listened as the other boys rattled off their orders as Louis typed them into his phone and when it was my turn he looked up at me suspiciously. “Stell, you should come with me. So that you know what they have there.” he lied. I nodded and stood up from the couch, following him out the door. “You filthy little liar!” He teased as we piled into his car a few minutes later. “What did you remember?”  
“I'm not sure exactly. But Louis I..... I think I'm in love with Niall.” I sighed. His eyes lit up at my words and a smile spread across his face.  
“You have to tell him!” he squealed, but I shook my head vigorously.  
“No way Boo! Not a chance. He doesn't like me like that. I can tell.” I told him. He sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation.  
“You two are ridiculous.”

Niall's POV  
“What was that all about?” Liam asked, not really directing it at anyone in particular. Harry shook his head, as did Zayn, before all three sets of eyes came to rest on me.  
“What? You think I know? I'm just as bloody confused as you all are!” I snapped, but then instantly regretted my tone. “Sorry, lads.” I muttered.  
“Nialler it's OK. You're frustrated. We all are, but we know it's worse for you. I'm sorry this is so hard for you. It's been really tough for Louis too. Last night I woke up to him sobbing in the middle of the night and babbling on and on about a dream about his sisters and Stella and his mom. Then this morning he acted like nothing happened. If it's like that for him, I can't even imagine what you're going through.” Harry said. He stood up from his stop on the loveseat, plopping down on the couch next to me and pulling me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me. All of the emotions and tears I'd been holding in seemed to break through the dam as he did so. I sobbed, harder than I had in a while, into his chest, fingers curling into his thin white shirt. I felt the cushions on the couch shift and then, suddenly, there were two other sets of arms around me. I looked up for just a second to see Liam on Harry's left, his fingers running softly through my hair and Zayn on Harry's right, face pressed into the back of my neck and hands rubbing my back soothingly. They let me cry for a long time, not saying anything, just comforting me. The closeness made me feel safer, like everything that had been hurting me for the last few weeks couldn't get to me. All of the pain and the nightmares. Everything was gone except for one thing. The gaping hole left in my heart by Stella. That would never go away. I focused hard on trying to steady my breathing and after a few minutes I finally calmed down enough to pull away.  
“We love you Nialler.” Liam murmured softly, still stroking my hair. “Don't ever forget that. You're not alone in this. We're all here for you and we always will be. We're family. Brothers forever. Well, except Haz and Lou because frankly that would be weird.” I chuckled a little at his words and pulled myself up off of Harry's lap, settling my body between him and Zayn, my head resting on Zayn's shoulder.  
“Thanks.” I whispered.  
“I know this might not be the most appropriate time to bring this up, and I don't want to upset you, Ni, but I was wondering.....” Zayn started. I looked up at him curiously to see why he was hesitating.  
“Go on.” I urged.  
“Well, when we were in the hospital with her that first night, we all said things. You know we talked to her and I was just wondering if.... Has she said anything to any of you about whether or not she could hear us?” he finally said.  
“She hasn't mentioned it to me.” Harry answered, Liam and I both nodding along with him. “Has she said anything to you Zayn?” Zayn shook his head.  
“It's better that way. If she doesn't remember I mean. I.... It's better that she doesn’t know how I feel right now. She may never love me again and I don't want her to remember that and feel bad for me.” I told them with a sigh.

Stella's POV  
We drove back after picking up our food in silence and I took full advantage of it, wracking my brain to try and remember things but mostly coming up blank. There were a few things that popped into my mind, like Liam and his fear of spoons or how Harry likes to walk around naked, but nothing really came to me until we were parking the car outside of the building.  
******  
“Look Stella, I just want you to know that I do really care about you. You're such a wonderful person. You don't deserve this. You really don't. I just...... maybe I’ve been a jerk to you. I just don't really know how to be friends with girls. It's weird, I think. I'm quite wonderful with dealing with fans, if I do say so myself, and being with the lads is easy. But despite how long Danielle and I have been together and how comfortable I am with her, and despite the fact that I have two sisters, when it comes to girls, I'm absolutely clueless. I don't know what to talk about. But I promise you Stel, that I really do consider you to be one of my best friends. I love you and when you get out of this place, we'll be closer. Please just wake up soon, alright babe.”   
******  
“Stell? Are you alright, love?” Louis asked, snapping me out of my thought. I nodded quickly and followed him out of the car and inside. When we made back into Niall's apartment, the boys began attacking the food we had brought.  
“Lad's really! Eating with your hands? Disgusting.” Liam muttered, rolling his eyes as he pushed himself up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. I followed, wanting to talk to him about what I had remembered.  
“Liam. Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked hesitantly once we were in the kitchen. He nodded, looking curious. “Liam, I.... Um... Look I remembered something. Or well I mean I guess remembered isn't the right word. I don't know, I think it's from when I was in the hospital, what you said to me. I heard you. Only I didn't remember that I heard you until today. Does that make any sense? Ugh OK look, I don't remember anything about our relationship, like at all, but feel like... I don't know, we're friends right? I mean, I don't think I hated you or anything....” I rambled.  
“Oh Stella.” He sighed. Walking towards me quickly, he pulled me into a tight hug. “Look, Stell, don't worry. Yes we were friends. I just always felt really awkward around you because I'm weird and girls sometimes make me uncomfortable. I thought I would get used to it and stuff, with you being around all the time, but then you're accident happened and I realized that I may have treated you like we weren’t friends. But I love you like a sister and I don't want to be the way we were before it happened. I want us to be close.” He told me.  
“I want us to be close too, Li.” I mumbled into his chest.  
“And I know this is just dreadful of me to say, but I'm kind of glad you don't remember your friendship with Danielle.”  
“Danielle's your girlfriend right?” I asked.  
“Um, well she was. We broke up yesterday. Please don't tell the lads, you;re the only one who knows right now and I just..... It's just hard.” Tears started to well up in his eyes as he spoke and I instantly felt bad for him. When I woke up in the hospital and saw them together, they seemed so in love and I couldn't imagine what could have gone wrong.  
“I'm sorry Li. If you want to talk about it, I'm here you know. I know I don't remember anything, so I may not be much of a help, but I'm still here if you need me.” I promised. He smiled down at me sadly.  
“Thanks Stella. I'm not really ready to talk about it yet, but when I am, i'll let you know.”


	22. Homesick at Space Camp

Louis' POV  
It was early. Somewhere around half 3 in the morning. Way too early for me to be awake, but I just couldn't sleep. I'd been having nightmares almost every night since my sisters accident and they had only been getting worse after Stella's. I had thought sleeping with Harry every night would help. Before we were together, anytime I would ever have a bad dream, I would always crawl into his bed in the middle of the night and fall right to sleep, and honestly, it had helped a little, having him there with his arms wrapped around me every night. The only problem was that Stella didn't know about our relationship yet, so every night, he would have to stay out on the couch until we thought she was asleep before he would come in to bed with me. I’m not entirely sure why we hadn't told her about us yet. I was sure she wouldn't be upset or anything. I think we just didn't really want to confuse her any more than she already was. But it was seriously killing me. Harry and I have never really been good at staying away from each other, even before all of the feelings were involved, and since we'd been together, we could barely keep our hands off of each other. Not in a sexual way, of course, we hadn't gotten that far yet. But Haz and I are like magnates. I always felt this pull towards him and now that he's mine, it's stronger than ever. Which is why when he came shuffling into the kitchen I wasn't surprised.  
“It's too cold in bed without you, love. What's wrong? Is it the nightmares again?” He asked softly, pouring himself a cup of tea from the pot I had just finished making and coming towards me where I sat on the counter sipping from my own mug. He stopped right in front of me, standing between my legs and pecking me on the lips before taking a sip. I shrugged in response to his question. “I'm sorry. I hate seeing you like this. It kills me. You look so tired and stressed all the time and all I want to do is try to make everything better.” I smiled down at him, taking his tea from him and setting both out cups on the counter before snaking my arms around his shoulders and pulling him close. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck.  
“You do make everything better. You don't have to try.” I told him, kissing his hair. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes.  
“Would it help if we told her? About us, I mean? Maybe it would make things a little less stressful. We wouldn't have to hide or hold back as much. I mean, I know that we still have to be careful in public and that's fine, but we shouldn't have to be that way with our friends too.” He had a good point. Part of my frustration was because I couldn't cuddle up to him whenever I wanted, or kiss him whenever I wanted. I was fine with the separation when we were out where the paparazzi and fans could see us, at least until we came out to management and figured out what our options were, but hiding from my best friend was killing me too.  
“I think it would. I'm sorry I haven't told her I just....”  
“It's OK Boo. I understand. Things are complicated for her right now. She's lost. I'm not upset that you haven't. I just don't know if I can continue to keep my hands off of you.” He winked at me, a cheeky smirk plastered on his face and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. He was so damn cute sometimes it hurt.  
“We'll tell her tomorrow.” I promised and his smirk grew into a full blown grin. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine gently before picking up his tea again.  
“I was thinking....” He started after a few minutes silence.  
“Well that's never good. Don't hurt yourself Haz.” I teased and he shot me a playful glare.  
“Wanker. Anyways, I was thinking that maybe we could all go to Holmes Chapel tomorrow night and stay for a few days. You know just get away from everything for a few days. Stay in the bungalow, just the six of us and Dani and Perrie. Plus it's been awhile since I've seen mum and Gem and they really should meet you.”  
“Um... Haz.... I've met your mum and Gem. About a million times actually. Have you forgotten?”   
“Yes, as my best mate. But not as my boyfriend.” He smiled shyly at me and my heart almost stopped in my chest. He wanted to tell his family about us?  
“Are you serious? You're not joking right?” I breathed. We hadn't discussed coming out to our families yet, we'd only been together for about a week. Obviously I'd thought about it but it just wasn't something that had come up in conversation. He took both of my hands in his and stared deep into my eyes, his big green eyes practically boring into my soul.  
“Of course I'm serious. Why would you think such a thing? You're my world, Boo. I want both of our families to know that. What, did you think I was going to try to hide you forever?” he asked.  
“But, does your mum know that you and Josh broke up? Won't she want to know what happened?” He bit his lip and looked down at his feet, shifting from side to side.  
“I never told her.” He whispered.  
“You never told her you had a boyfriend? You two were together for months.” I said. He let out a deep sigh.  
“Louis, she doesn't know that I'm bisexual. And with Josh.... I don't know I thought about it once, but I just didn't think it would be a good idea and I wasn't really ready to tell her.” He confessed.  
“But you are now?” I asked skeptically.  
“Yes.” He didn't even hesitate with his answer.   
“Why?” He laughed at me, like it was the stupidest questioned he'd ever heard, and shook his head.  
“Because of you. Before, you know when I was with Josh, I was terrified that she wouldn't accept me. That she would hate me. But with you, you know as much as I want my mother's acceptance and love, if I don't have that, if she can't accept me for who I am, it'll all be OK because I have you. You're worth it. He never was.” A huge smile spread across my face at his words.  
“How did I get so lucky?” I asked, pulling him into my arms again and kissing him softly. His lips tasted like Yorkshire tea and something uniquely Harry and I just couldn't get enough. My tongue traced his bottom lip, begging for entrance and he opened his mouth willingly. We explored each others mouths lazily for a few minutes before he pulled away, breathless with swollen lips.  
“We should get to bed, Lou.” He said, fingers tracing my bare sides gently.  
“Yeah, I guess we should.”

Stella's POV  
I watched through the crack in my door as Harry and Louis walked back into the other bedroom hand in hand. I had a feeling there was something going on with those two and their conversation confirmed my suspicions. What I couldn't figure out is why they didn't just come right and tell me when I had asked about Harry and Josh. It's not like I would have been mad or disgusted or anything like that. Louis and I were supposed to be best friends. Why did he feel the need to hide his relationship from me.   
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of bacon and knew it was Harry that was cooking. In the last few days I had remembered a few more things about each of the boys, like what and excellent cook Harry is and what a shit cook Louis is. I remembered Liam's love for Batman and how all the boys call him Daddy Direction. The only person I didn't remember anything about was Niall. The only real memory I had of him was the night he sang to me after he thought I had fallen asleep, and that wasn't really much to go on.   
“Morning Haz.” I said as I walked into the kitchen. Louis wasn't sitting at the table and I hadn't seen him in the living room when I had walked by so I assumed he must still be asleep.  
“Morning, babe. Sleep well?” Harry asked happily from his spot in front of the stove. I looked him over, he was butt ass naked.  
“Harry! Put some clothes on you goober!” I squealed, trying to cover my eyes and make my way to the kitchen table without falling at the same time. He laughed at me as I ran into one of the chairs.  
“Ugh. Fine. Watch the bacon then. He groaned. A few minutes later he was back in the fully dressed and setting two plates of bacon and eggs on the table.  
“Aren't you going to go wake up your boyfriend?” I asked with a smirk. He looked up at me, eyes wide.  
“Wha.... I.... How did you....”  
“Haz you guys aren't very sneaky. If you're going to have cutesy couples moments and you don't want anyone to hear or see them, the kitchen is not the best place.” I explained with a laugh. He sighed, guilt clouding his eyes.  
“I'm so sorry, Stel. We should have told you.” He said.  
“Why didn't you?” I asked.  
“We just didn't want to make things confusing or awkward for you. But we decided we were going to tell you today. I'm quite sure Louis isn't going to be happy that he wasn't the one to tell you.” He explained. “Forgive us?”  
“Haz.... I'm not mad or anything. I get it. I just wish you would have told me in the first place. It's not fair that you have to hide your feelings when it's pretty clear to me that you two can't go 30 seconds without touching each other.” I said. He smiled at me, pulling me up out of my chair and into a tight hug. “I guess I'm a little confused on how this all happened though. I remember Louis having a girlfriend, and then you know you and Josh were together....” He walked quickly to the entrance to the kitchen as I spoke, peering out at the bedroom door, probably to make sure Louis was still asleep.  
“Get dressed and eat real quick and we'll go get coffee and talk. I think there are a few things you need to know, but I don't really want Lou to be around when I tell you.” He told me. We ate quickly in silence and then I made my way into my bedroom, grabbing some clothes quickly and throwing them on. Once I was dressed we left, leaving a note for Louis saying we would be back soon.   
“So.” I said simply once we got out to the street. “What is it you need to tell me?”  
“There are a lot of things I think you need to know Stella. Louis and Eleanor.” He said.  
“Eleanor is Louis ex right?”  
“Yeah. El and Lou were together for a long time and their relationship was really great. And then you started hanging out with us. It didn't really change anything at all. I mean you and Lou got really close, like brother and sister and El was fine with that because you two were friends as well and she trusted you. She didn't think anything would ever happen between the two of you. But then they started fighting a lot. It started off small enough. Just her complaining about not spending enough time with him while we were recording the new album or him getting upset that she was never willing to come down here from Manchester. But then the fights got bigger and bigger and he started spending less time with her on purpose. One night, he was supposed to go out with her on a date that he had planned, but he blew her off. Didn't call her, didn't text her, absolutely no explanation. She thought maybe he was with me so she called me when he didn't answer his phone. When she realized that he wasn't home with me, she came over and we both tried calling him but he didn't answer. Then we tried calling you when we realized that he'd been blowing off both of us. It hadn't really clicked with me that that was what was happening because I thought he was just busy with Eleanor or whatever for the last few weeks but when I realized he was avoiding me it really hurt. When you didn't answer your phone I tried to call you at work to see if you'd heard from him, but Jess, you know she was your old roommate, told me that Louis had called you and you left work to be with him. No one could get a hold of you for hours and El just got more and more angry and I was getting more and more worried about him. When you guys finally showed up we could tell that Louis had been crying and was really upset but El just started screaming at him about how he had been with you for hours and she broke up with him. That was the night his sisters died in a car accident. She didn't even give him a chance to explain anything. Just dumped him and left thinking he had been cheating when really you two had been at the hospital with his mum. He didn't really ever get a chance to focus on the break up much, but he never seemed too upset about it, which I've always thought was really strange, to be honest. They haven't talked since. He's tried to call her to explain things just so they could maybe be friends but she wont return any of his phone calls.” He explained.  
“I know why he wasn't broken up over it, Harry.” I said. He gave me a confused look as he opened the door to the coffee house we had walked to and allowed me to make my way inside. He ordered us two Cinnamon Dulce Latte's and then we found a seat before he questioned me.  
“Why? What do you remember?” He asked.  
“He's been in love with you for months. He was going to break up with her that night because he couldn't stand stringing her along when he didn't feel the same way she felt. He was never going to tell you about it because you were with Josh, but he didn't think it was right to stay with her.” I explained. A small smile spread across his face.  
“How long did he feel that way?” He asked.  
“I'm not sure. Since July maybe. I'm not quite sure on the time line. But he told me about it right after.....” My eyes widened in shock as I remembered something. “Conner.”  
“What?”  
“He told me about it the night after you all met Conner for the first time.” I said, barely aware of what was going on.  
“Stella, that was the first week we met. We'd known you for only a few days at that point. You and Louis had just become friends. Like that day actually.” He said in shock. He was silent for a minute before I started to notice the tears welling up in his eyes. “That was two days after Josh and I got together. He knew all the way back then that he loved me and he never said anything. And I was with Josh the whole time.”  
“Harry it's not your fault. You didn't know.” I tried to sound comforting but it was hard when I was so utterly clueless about most everything that had happened. “Harry, I know you may not want to talk about it, but will you please explain to me this whole Josh situation?” He sighed, wiping the tears away from his eyes before speaking.  
“It's complicated. Josh and I were great for a while, but then we started fighting. Mostly about Louis. It was stupid at first. I'd always known Louis was attractive and all, but I had never really noticed it before but one day I was staring at him, you know, noticing how nice his bum looked in his trousers and Josh caught me and it just blew up from there. We started screaming at each other as soon as we got back to his flat and he got more and more angry and I kept trying to calm him down but I couldn't. It was the first time he had ever hit me. As soon as he did it his demeanor completely changed and he felt so bad about it. He apologized for days and bought me flowers and a card and did all these ridiculous things to make it up to me so I forgave him and lied to the lads about what happened because I thought it would never happen again. But then I started noticing my feelings for Louis. I started to realized how much I wanted to have him around and always needed to touch him and be close to him. Josh noticed it too and it just got worse and worse. We started fighting more frequently and he started hitting me on a regular basis. It wasn't so bad when it started. Just a punch in the stomach or a kick to the ribs and that was it and then he would try to make it up to me. And Louis had been avoiding me so it wasn't like an everyday thing. But when The girls died, I tried to spend as much time with Lou as possible. You know he was my best mate and those girls were his world and they meant so much to me too. His family is my family you know. But Josh got so angry about it. And I tried to explain it to him. That I was just trying to be there for my best friend and that I wasn't going to leave him for Lou but he accused me over every horrible thing under the sun. And the beatings only got worse from there. I tried so hard to hide it. I really didn't. You know I didn't think anyone had noticed and I’ve always been so damn clumsy that I just thought I could explain it all away by saying I’d tripped or run into something or something stupid like that. But Louis noticed. I didn't even know he had and he never said anything about it but he did. Then one night it got really bad. The worst it had ever been, which considering the fact that we were at the point where he was beating the crap out of me almost nightly is really saying something. You were in the hospital. It was the night of your accident. Josh and I were supposed to have a date but then you got hit. He came up to the hospital and I thought he was there to support us. To support you but really he was just trying to make me leave. We got into an argument in the waiting room and then he left and I thought maybe that would be the end of it. When I left the hospital that night I went straight over to his flat to see if maybe we could salvage a little bit of our night but he'd been drinking the whole night and by the time I got there he was completely pissed. He flew off the handle completely when I walked in the door, screaming at me and throwing things and generally just being upset. So I tried to talk to him about it rationally. I was hoping he would realize that canceling our date had nothing to do with Louis, because of course that's what he thought, and everything to do with the fact that one of my best friends was in the hospital, possibly dying. But he just wouldn't listen. He started kicking me and punching me repeatedly. It was awful and painful and terrifying. I didn't think he would stop. But then he did. And I thought maybe he was going to apologize like he always did, but then he started going on and on about still being a virgin and I couldn't make sense of it all until he was dragging me off to his bedroom. I was so emotionally drained and so out of it from the physical pain of being beaten so badly that it took me a while to realize what he was doing to me. He... He tried to rape me. I don't know how I was able to stop him. He's so strong and I was so broken down, but somehow I managed to push him off of me before he could actually, um, you know, do anything aside from strip me down. I ran away and locked myself in his bathroom and called Liam to come pick me up saying I was sick and Josh was already asleep. Which, in all honesty wasn't entirely a lie when Liam actually showed up, because Josh had passed out completely drunk on the couch. I cleaned myself up as best I could and it was so dark that Liam couldn't see anything so he didn't even notice the bruises and most of them were pretty easy to hide. I walked really slowly to hide the fact that I was limping and played it off like I was too sick to move really well. He never suspected anything. I feel horrible about it now. I feel terrible for lying to all of them especially now that I know what real love is. Now that I have Louis and he's mine forever. But I was so ashamed of myself and I thought it was all my fault. I avoided Josh for the next two weeks as much as I could. We had rehearsals and stuff so I knew I’d still have to be around him but I didn't go out of my way to see him and I didn't answer his calls. The night before you woke up is the night it all finally broke down. Niall figured it out. He's perceptive, that one. He noticed that things were different between Louis and I. I hadn't even noticed it myself but he could just tell that Louis felt something towards me I guess. And he confronted me about Josh. I tried to defend him. I made Niall swear he wouldn't tell anyone and I screamed at him and made him feel horrible. And then I left. When Louis came home that night..... Everything was different. He told me that he knew about everything. And i felt so relieved. Like a huge weight had been lifted. He made me feel like everything would be alright, the way that he held me and comforted me. And then he kissed me and I just.... It was everything I could have ever wanted it to be. I forgot all about Josh and the horrible mess we were in. the only thing I could see in that moment was Louis. The way he laughed, the way he moved, the way his eyes sparkled whenever he looked at me and I knew. I knew he loved me and I knew I felt the same way. That I’d always been a little bit in love with him, ever since.....” His eyes were glistening with tears as he spoke and my own tears had already started spilling down my cheeks. He cleared his throat and then looked at me with a huge smile on his face, leaving me utterly confused. “We've been together for about a week and I already know that this is it. He's the only person I need to make me happy. He's all I can see in this world and I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. It's funny, He's been a constant in my life for so long, that I don't know how it took me this long to realize that I need him like I need oxygen. He's the most beautiful person in the world.”  
“Oh Harry.” I sighed. I didn't know what else to say. His story was heartbreaking, but he was lucky enough to have his fairytale ending. I could only hope that I would be lucky enough to get the same.  
“Stella, can you keep a secret?” He asked me suddenly.  
“Of course.”  
“Last night, when Louis and I were in the kitchen, we talked about taking a trip up to Holmes Chapel. That's where I’m from. If, you know, you didn't remember. Anyways, we're going to leave tonight and all the boys and you are going to come with us. My step dad has a bungalow that we stayed at when we first got put together as a band. It's a really special place to us and I think that's where I really fell in love with Lou for the first time. It's where we became best mates and I... I want to do something special there. I want to propose to him there. I know it's crazy and we're so young but I just can't imagine my life without him in it. And I want all of the important people in our lives to be around when it happens. Not like, you know, when I actually do it, but you know....”  
“I get it.”  
“Right.... I've already called his mum and I called his dad too and they're going to come. He doesn't know that yet. I wanted to surprise him with that. Promise me you won't tell anyone.”  
“I promise.” I sobbed. “Harry oh my god I can't believe this.” I slid from my chair and threw myself at him, hugging him tightly.   
“We should probably head back now.” He said after a few minutes and I nodded, standing up and following him out the door.

Harry's POV  
“Haz? Stella? Is that you guys?” Louis called out from the kitchen as Stella and I walked back in the door of our flat. He came running out into the hallway, eyes wild with worry, launching himself in my arms when he saw me standing there and kissing me passionately. “Where did you lot go!” Stella giggled at him and I stood there in shock, surprised that he had done that when he didn't know that Stella knew about us.   
“Relax Lou. We just went for coffee.” She teased him, ruffling his already messy hair. “Don't worry, your boyfriend is safe, boo.” His cheeks turned a deep and adorable shade of pink at her words.  
“You told her?”  
“She figured it out on her own.” I corrected him.  
“And even if I hadn't, that kiss so gave it away anyways. You guys are too adorable.” She cooed. Louis glared at her and she laughed.  
“So about this trip we're planning.... what should I pack?” I shook my head at her as I pulled out my phone to text the other lads our plans and then we all began packing for the trip.

Niall's POV  
The drive to Holmes Chapel had been long and tiring. We'd left around half 9 and i'd been up the whole night before so by the time we got in at nearly 1 in the morning, I was knackered. We chose our rooms and as soon as stripped out of all my clothes and laid down inmy bed I fell asleep. I was in the middle of a pretty blissful dream when a knock on my door woke me up around 3. I groaned loudly and pushed myself off of the bed, adjusting my breifs before opening the door. Stella stood in the doorway, cheeks painted a deep red and still fully dressed.  
“Niall, can I sleep in here?” she asked before I had a chance to ask what she wanted. I blinked down at her, trying hard to comprehend what was going on. “I'm sorry to wake you. But Louis and Haz are... well.... they're not having sex but you definitely don't want to know what's going on in there and their bed is right next to mine and I can hear everything. I'm so tired I just want to sleep and you can totally say no if you want but....” I grabbed her wrist gently and pulled her inside the room to stop her rambling.  
“Why are you still in your clothes.” I grumbled sleepily.  
“I kinda passed out before I could change. I woke up feeling pretty uncomfortable but then I heard them and I had to get out fo there. I didn't really have a chance to grab any clothes thought.” She said grumpily. I rummaged through my suitcase for a second before pulling out a shirt and a pair of sweatpants, the same shirt she wore to bed the first time she stayed over with me. My heart crumbled a little as I thought about that night and the morning that had followed.   
“Here. You can wear these.” I mumbled, turning around to give her a moment to change. After a minute I felt a dip in the bed and I turned to face her. She looked adorably grumpy. I laid back on the bed and opened my arms, making grabby hands at her. She smiled at me and crawled into my open arms, resting her head on my chest.   
"Good night Niall." She whispered.   
"Goodnight Stella." I whispered back, then waited until I heard her breathing even out, letting me know she was asleep before adding "I love you so much."


	23. Part 1 This is My Confession/ Part 2 The Sun and the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally written in two parts so what is considered part one and what is considered part two will be marked.

Part 1  
Louis' POV  
Something was going in. Whether good or bad, I wasn't quite sure but one thing I knew for certain: Harry Styles was up to something and I was going to find out what it was. It started the morning after we got to Holmes Chapel. I had woke up to a cold, empty space next to me and a post it note stuck to my forehead.  
Lou,  
Be back in a few hours. Don't get too lonely without me.  
Love you  
Haz  
P.S. Go look in Nialler's room  
I'll admit, I didn't really think anything of Harry leaving at first. It was the first time he'd been to Holmes Chapel in months and I figured he wanted to see a few friends. I slipped out of bed and made my way into the bathroom that was connected with out room. I brushed my teeth and then studied myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and my neck was littered with love bites that had definitely not been there when we got in. Hopefully I wouldn't run into Anne at all before Haz got back from whatever it was he had been doing because I knew she would question where they came from and we hadn't told her about us yet. To be quite honest, I was nervous as hell. I knew that I shouldn't have been, Anne is like a second mother to me and we get on quite well, but she's not just my best mate's mum anymore. She's my boyfriend's mum now. The woman who gave life to my soul mate. Maybe even my future mother in law if I was lucky enough. Everything had changed. What if she didn't accept us as a couple. What if she would rather her son be with a woman. Despite everything Harry had said to me about not caring whether or not she accepts him as long as we're together, I know how close he is to Anne. If she did approve, if she tried to get him to be with a girl, would he listen, or would he defend me?  
I tried hard to distract myself by thinking about the night before. How far we had gotten. It had started innocently enough, honest. We had just been talking after Stella had fallen asleep and when he started kissing my neck and from there.... well lets just say that his mouth was made for more than just singing. We didn't go all the way. Frankly, I was a little uncomfortable with the idea of complicating our relationship with something as intimate as sex when we'd only been together for a few days and we weren't sure where this would end up.  
I smiled to myself in the mirror at the thought because, even though I wasn't ready to take that next step yet, Harry still managed to be such a trooper about it. I could tell that he was a little bit disappointed, but he didn't make me feel bad about it at all. Quite the opposite, actually, he managed to give me the best, most mind blowing blow job I’d ever gotten. I shivered at the memory and smirked at myself in the mirror before making my way back into the bedroom to pull on some clothes. Harry's Ramones shirt was laying on the floor by the bed and I immediately picked it up and pulled it over my head, thankful that it seemed to cover up most of the marks on my neck and collarbones. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and headed out the door and towards Nialler's room. Making sure to be as quiet as possible, I nudged the door open, stopping when it started to squeak and listening close to see if I had woken him up. Liam slipped into the hall from his bedroom and padded across the soft carpet over to where I stood, eying me curiously as I continued to push the door open.  
“What are you doing, Lou?” He asked sleepily, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. He looked like a sleepy child. It was quite adorable actually. Last night, on the car ride up, after all the other boys, Stella and Perrie had fallen asleep, he had admitted to me that the reason Danielle hadn't come with us was because she had broken up with him. It surprised me, they I’vebeen together for so long and seemed so in love. From what he'd told me, the distance had always been hard for her to handle and we'd been so busy lately that she felt like she never saw him. She'd also met someone else, a university student who could be around much more than Liam could. They'd agreed to stay friends at first, but it hurt Liam to even talk to her so he just hadn't. It had only been a few days and the only other person who knew about it was Stella, he'd said, and he didn't really want the other lads to know because he didn't want everyone to feel like they had to be careful around him. I had insisted that Harry and I would try not to make him uncomfortable with our affection but he'd been adiment.  
“Don't be ridiculous Louis, I'd be offended if you tried to hide your relationship from me to spare my feelings. I'm not a child and I can handle this.” He'd scoffed. So I had made it my personal mission to make him laugh any chance I could get. To be honest, I couldn't really see how Danielle had managed to find someone else just like that. Liam is one of the most amazing men i've ever met and he's incredibly fit. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't checking him out a little bit as he stretched out his muscles right in front of me. He caught me staring and rolled his eyes at me and I laughed before finishing my quest of finding out what was so important in Niall's room. Liam moved closer as we peered through the small crack in the door to find the most adorable sight I’ve ever seen laid out in front of us. Niall was sprawled out on his back in the middle of the bed, left foot hanging off the side. His left arm was stretched out above his head under the pillow. His head was turned to the right face buried in the top of a mop of blonde waves that I recognized as Stella's. She was snuggled up close to his right side, his other arm wrapped tightly around her, her face pressed into his chest. Liam cooed from beside me, pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of the adorable pair. Another door shut from the other side of the hall and I looked over to my right to see Perrie standing in the hall in A t-shirt and a pair of Pink sweats.  
“What are you lot looking at?” She asked quietly. Liam waved her over to us and she walked over and looked inside the room. “Awww how precious. I trust one of you got a picture of this?”  
“Liam did.” I whispered, shutting the door softly so that we didn't wake them.  
“Can't we just tell her? They're so adorable together and it kills me to see him stare at her with that longing look in his eyes. She must feel the same way.” She said sadly.  
“She does. She told me. I knew she would. She's been in love with him for months. We should really just sit them down and make them talk it out.” I agreed. Liam shook his head.  
“It's not our place. Niall said he doesn't want to tell her and we have to respect that. Besides she needs to be focused on getting better before they try to be together.” He told us.  
“But, Li, look at them. They love each other so much. It just seems so unfair....” Perrie whined in protest, but Liam shot her his best Daddy Direction look and she shut up quickly, pushing out her lower lip and pouting at him.  
“I mean it Perrie. It's not our place. Let Niall worry about it. He'll tell her when he's ready.” Liam scolded her gently.  
“Fine, DAD.” she said, rolling her eyes at him. He smiled down at her triumphantly before walking back of into his room to change. “I feel sorry for his future children. They'll not have any fun in life.” she joked once his door was shut. I swung my arm around her shoulder, pressing her into my side.  
“You and me both love.” I agreed. “Now, let's get down to the kitchen. I smell bacon and I think that means that Haz is back.” She giggled at me.  
“I don't think it's the bacon you're interested, Lou. Zayn and Liam may have fallen asleep the second their heads hit the pillows last night, but I heard you two. No wonder Stella had to leave the room. 'Oh Harry, Oh yeah. Just like that Haz!'” My face heated up at her words and before I could do anything, she slipped out from under my arm and ran for the stairs giggling. I took of after her.  
“You'll pay for that blondie!” I yelled, taking the stairs two at a time and running into the kitchen. She wasn't there, but Gemma was. My eyes widened and I gulped loudly as my hand shot up to cover the dark purple bruises on my neck. I hadn't expected to see her until Harry and I went to lunch with her, Robin and Anne later. That was when we were going to tell them about us. She turned around and raised an eyebrow at me. Her arms opened wide and she looked at me expectantly.  
“Do I get a hug for making you're lazy arses breakfast or what?” she teased. I smiled, shaking my head at her and making my way towards her. I wrapped her up in my arms and lifted her off of her feet in a tight hug. It had been months since I'd seen Gemma and we had always gotten on so well. She was like another sister to me. “How's my future brother in law this morning.” she asked as I set her back down. I glared down at her and she smiled up at me happily. “Oh come on Lou, you really think he could keep it from me? He told me this morning before he left. I'm so excited for you two. It's about time as well.”  
“So you don't think it's strange?” I asked skeptically.  
“Of course not!” she laughed, shaking her head. “I always knew he was a little bit bent and if he was going to be with any man, it obviously was going to be you. You lads were bound to end up together.”  
“Thanks Gem. That means a lot to me. I hope your mum sees it the same way.” said with a sigh. She wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me into her side, kissing my temple.  
“Don't worry, Lou. Mum loves you. She'll be tickled.” She said soothingly. I let out another deep sigh. I could only hope that she was right.

Harry's POV  
“So, love, are you going to finally tell me why you dragged me out of bed at this god awful hour in the morning?” My mum asked me expectantly as we walked through the streets of Holmes Chapel. I took a deep breath and bit my lip nervously. Louis and I had planned to tell her together this afternoon at lunch, but she's my mum. I couldn't keep it from her. Plus, I needed her help with something very special. So I had headed over to the house quite early in the morning and begged her to come shopping with me. I hadn't really meant to run in to Gemma on the way, and I definitely hadn't meant to tell her my secret, but it just kinda slipped out. Another reason why I knew I needed to tell mum, before my bratty sister did it herself. “Harry, baby, what's the matter. You look like your about to think yourself to death.” she reached her hand up and ran her fingers through my hair as we walked into the little bakery I had worked in before x-factor to get breakfast.  
“I'll order, you go sit down and then we'll talk.” I said. My voice was shaky but I couldn't help it. This was a big deal. I ordered us both coffee and doughnuts, trying to focus on calming my nerves, before I found my mother in the back sitting in a table that was blocked from the window. Bless that woman. She looked at me curiously as I sat down and I looked around the room, making sure no one was listening before I let out the breath that I didn't realize I was holding. “Mum, I have something to tell you. You might not like it, but you need to know and I really hope you can accept me for it. Promise me that you'll hear me out and you won't say anything until I’m done.” She nodded, taking a sip of her coffee and I took that as my cue to continue. “Mum, I... I'm in love mum. I'm so in love that it hurts sometimes. But the person I’m in love with... isn't the type of person that people would expect. I guess what I’m trying to say, mum, is that I’m gay and I’m in a relationship with a man.” I waited for the look of disgust. For her to scoff at me and tell me she was horrified by my admission, but it never came. Her face remained calm and curious, not surprised at all. “Do you still love me?” I asked softly and instantly her face changed. Her eyes went wide and she looked at me with disbelief. That was it. She was going to tell me what a terrible son I was.  
“Oh baby.” I looked up at her in surprise as she scooted her chair to my side of the table and wrapped me up in her arms. “Of course I still love you! You're my baby. This doesn't change that.” She pulled away from me and looked at me expectantly. “Now, tell me all about this boy who's taken my sons heart.”  
“I will. I promise, but before I do, there's some things you need to know about. Before I was with... um... HIM, I was in a relationship with Josh. He was my first boyfriend and we were together for a few months. Until recently actually, we broke up the about a week ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but...... OK look, I guess I’ve always considered myself bisexual. You know I dated girls and I found guys attractive and things like that. I even had a crush on Niall once. And I thought that I was attracted to girls as well, I really did. So that's what I’ve always classified myself as and I accepted that. I've known for years, I just didn't think it mattered much to tell you. I had always thought that if I ever got into a serious relationship with a man and I felt that we had a real future together I would tell you but until then, it wasn't really important. So when I dated Josh, you know I toyed with the idea a few times but it just never seemed like a good time to tell you about it. Then our relationship fell apart. He was abusive, mum and I don't really want to get into it, I just don't so please don't ask. Suffice it to say we're not together and he was fired from the band. But while our relationship was breaking down, I started to realize that I didn't really find woman attractive in the way that I did men. Kissing them wasn't the same. It didn't make me feel anything like when I kissed a guy. And when I started to picture my future, I always pictured myself with a man. I one man in particular. When I imagine the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, all I can see are clear blue eyes and sandy brown hair and a perfect smile. I see myself with Louis. We've been together for only a few days, but mum, he's the one. I just know it. I can't imagine ever feeling this way for anyone else. I was waiting for that one person to make me go weak in the knees. That's Lou, mum. He's it. He's the sun and the moon and every star in the sky. He's every love song on the radio. When I think about him I picture us in every ridiculous romantic scene from every romance movie I’ve ever watched. I'm so desperately in love with him that it terrifies me sometimes but in the best way. And if I’m being honest, mum, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know life will be hard for us. I know that people may not approve or like us very much. We're going to get hate and people will call us names and threaten us and maybe we'll be kicked out of the band, but I can handle all of that as long as I have Louis by my side. And that's why we came here mum. Because I want to ask him to marry me. But I need your help. I don't know what I'm doing or anything about buying rings and you know, this is something I’ve always pictured sharing with you and I know it may not be the way you expected it, but I really hope you'll help me find the perfect rings.” I looked into her eyes and noticed that she was tearing up. “Oh, mummy please don't cry.” I wiped her tears with my thumb and pulled her into my arms as she cried into my shoulder. “I'm so sorry mum.”  
“Oh sweetie no! It's alright love I’m just so happy for you. Baby I love you so much and I’m so proud of you. You've grown into the most amazing man and I've always known that Louis was more to you than just your best mate. I'm absolutely thrilled! Now let's go find you those rings.” she told me. I beamed at her. It made me feel so great to know that my mum supported me and my relationship with Louis. I couldn't wait to tell Lou about it. Sure, he'd probably be mad that I didn't wait to tell her until we could do it together, but I knew that he would understand and just be glad that we were accepted.

Stella's POV  
I woke up around noon to the sound of soft snoring in my ear. My eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the light, and I looked up for find the source of the noise. Niall. My heart stopped as I looked at him. He looked so peaceful and adorable. Like a little angel. His mouth was hanging open just slightly and his nose twitched as my hair swept across his face. Taking advantage of the fact that he was asleep, I pushed the covers off of us and let my eyes roam his body. He was wearing only his briefs and his body was in excellent shape. His pale skin was pulled tight over his toned muscles. He was, by far, the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. I wished desperately that I could remember anything about him. I wanted him to love me, but nothing would ever come to me and it was frustrating. He shifted a little bit on the bed and my eyes shot up to his face. His eyes fluttered before opening sleepily to reveal the most beautiful blue I could ever imagine. A sheepish smile spread across his lips as his eyes met mine.  
“ya been awake long?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep. I shook my head and he sighed, shutting his eyes and giving me a gentle squeeze. “Remember anything?” The boys had all asked me this question every morning since I’d been out of the hospital. I shook my head, nothing had come to me in the last 24 hours. “Once, when you and I were hanging out....” he started, then looked down at me to make sure I was listening. I smiled at him, encouraging him to continue. “We were in my flat watching movies and the other boys were all out doing other things. It started raining and you got so excited. I couldn't figure out why, I mean we live in London, it rains all the time but you were so.... I don't know your eyes lit up and you were bouncing around my flat like it was the greatest thing to ever happen to anyone. Somehow you convinced me to go outside with you and I’m stupid so I did it and we ran through the street jumping in puddles and splashing each other for two whole hours before we were soaked to the bone and freezing our bums off.” I let his words sink in, hoping the memory would come to me. “Anyways, Liam showed up as we were going back inside and he yelled at us for twenty minutes about how irresponsible it was and how we were going to get so sick and he wouldn't take care of us because we deserved it....”  
“But he did anyways.” I finished. He looked down at me, surprised for a second before a huge, goofy grin took over his face. “He felt so bad for us that he stayed at your place for the whole week bringing us soup and tea until we felt better. And I felt bad for making you go out with me but you said that it was worth it.”  
“It was. It was one of the happiest days of my life.” he told me with a sigh.  
“Niall, will you please tell me about my accident?” I asked suddenly. He sat up quickly, pulling away from me and scooting to the other side of the bed.  
“I'm going to go take a shower.” he snapped. Tears welled up in my eyes at his tone. I couldn't understand why he had such a problem telling me. I honestly felt like he was keeping something from me and it made me wonder, what had happened that night that was so bad that he couldn't even bring himself to talk about it.  
I tried to keep my mind off of it as I wondered downstairs to find Louis mulling around the kitchen alone. He smiled brightly at me from his seat at the table and beckoned me over to sit next to him.  
“Good afternoon love.” he chirped happily. I slumped down into the chair beside him.  
“Hey Lou.” I huffed.  
“What's got you in such a sour mood?” he asked, concern evident in his voice. I sighed.  
“Nothing. Just Niall.” I said. He raised an eyebrow at me, silently urging me to explain. “We were having a really nice moment, you know, he told me a story about something that had happened with us and I remembered it. And then like an idiot I asked him to tell me about my accident and he freaked out.”  
“Stell, you should have known that would be a bad idea.” He said.  
“Yeah Lou, I do, thanks. Look I just can't get rid of the feeling that he's hiding something from me, ya know. Like what is so bad that he can't tell me.”  
“I know the feeling.” he said softly.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Um.... It's Harry. He left this morning before I woke up and hasn't come back yet. He's been gone for at least three hours and and he's not returning any of my calls or texts. Gemma was here a little bit ago and I asked her if she knew where he was but all she said was 'You'll just have to wait and see.' He's planning something and I want to know what it is.” I laughed at him and shot him a smug smile.  
“I know what it is.” I said matter of factly. He glared at me.  
“Tell me. Tell me now.” he begged.  
“Not a chance Lou. You'll find out soon, I promise. And trust me, you;'ll love it. Now stop worrying. I'm sure he'll be back soon. It can't have taken him THAT long to do what he needed to do.” I teased. He groaned and dropped his head into his hands just as the door opened and Harry walked in whistling cheerfully.  
“What's wrong with Lou?” He asked as Louis began banging his head on the table.  
“I hate all of you!” Louis groaned. Harry started rubbing his back slowly, looking at him with a loving smile.  
“Boo, can I talk to you?” He asked. I raised an eyebrow at him. He wasn't going to ask him right now was he? He shook his head and I sighed.  
“No! I'm angry at you.” Louis huffed, sitting up straight with his arms crossed and pouting like a child. Harry continued to smile at him fondly and I took that as my cue to leave the kitchen.

Louis' POV  
“Please boo?” Harry urged softly. I turned to face the opposite direction from him. Yeah, maybe I was being a little childish, but I hate surprises and he knows that. And I was also mad at him for not answering any of my calls. It was well after noon and we were to have been meeting his family for lunch an hour ago. “I have something really important to tell you....” he trailed off. I looked up at him hopefully.  
“What?” I asked. He took both of my hands in his and pulled me up to my feet.  
“I love you.” he whispered, before pecking me on the lips.  
“You told her.” it wasn't a question. I knew he did. The boy was really never good at keeping things from his mum.  
“Are you mad?” he asked.  
“NO! Of course not. I mean I wish we could have told her together, but she knows now and that's all that matters.” I assured him.  
“Louis she's so happy. I've never seen her this happy before.” He told me happily. His smile lit up the whole room. Seeing Harry smile is truly the most beautiful thing in the world. And I got to wake up to that smile every morning.  
“I'm so proud of you, pumpkin. I really am.” I cooed. Wrapping my arms around him tightly, I pulled him into a bone crushing hug and planted sloppy kisses all over his face. He giggled happily at me and tried to squirm away but I held him firmly against me. There was no way I was ever letting him go.  
“Ahem.” we heard from behind us after a few minutes. I whipped around quickly, that was a voice I recognized instantly.  
“Surprise.” Harry whispered in my ear as I looked up to find my mother, standing next to his in the doorway.  
“Lads I'm hungry!” Niall called out as the rest of our group made their way into the kitchen. Liam must have sensed the tension between all of us immediately, though, because he quickly wrangled the other four up.  
“Nialler, why don't we all go into town and get something to eat. Give them all a chance to.... uh.... catch up.” He said awkwardly. The rest of them agreed instantly, following Liam out into the lounge and through the front door.  
“Mum?” I whispered softly once I finally found my voice. I truly wasn't expecting her to be there and I hadn't really planned on her finding out about Harry and I by walking in on us snogging in the kitchen.  
“Hi Jay.” Harry greeted her cheerfully.  
“Hello Harry, darling.” she said, but she didn't take her eyes off of me. She walked over to me, where I stood still wrapped up in Harry's arms.  
“Well, aren't you going to give your dear mother a hug?” she asked. Harry pushed me towards her, and into her open arms, which she immediately wrapped around me tightly. “I always knew it you dirty little sneak.” she whispered into my ear, and I felt my cheeks heat up at her words. She laughed at the look on my face and turned to Anne as soon as she let go of me. “How much again?” Harry and I looked between the two of them, matching puzzled expressions on our faces.  
“Ugh, fifty pounds.” Anne groaned as Gemma bounced happily into the room.  
“Pay up ladies!” She squealed.  
“Wait what?” Harry asked, confused.  
“Mum? Did you lot bet on our relationship?” I asked. All three of them nodded as mum and Anne pulled their wallets out of their purses and stuffed their money into Gemma's awaiting hand.  
“Huh?” Harry muttered. I beamed at him, momentarily blinded by how adorably confused he was. Honestly, the boy is the cutest thing to ever exist on the planet.  
“Harry, you're so stupid...”  
“GEMMA!”  
“Sorry, mum.” Gemma yelped as Anne swatted at her. Harry glared at her coldly.  
“Shut up Gemma!” He snapped.  
“I can't believe my own mother is betting on my love life.” I looked at my mum with disappointment clear on my face.  
“Oh sweety, I’m sorry, but I thought it would take you AGES to finally admit you were in love with the boy.” she told me.  
“She said you wouldn't do it for another three years!” Gemma told me. “Mum was the one who thought it would never happen. She said she thought you two would stay friend forever. I said it would happen before Christmas and I was right. Thanks boys.” I shook my head at all of them.  
“You three should be ashamed of yourselves.” I scolded.

Harry's POV  
After the conversation with our mums and Gemma in the kitchen, we all parted ways to get ready for lunch, since we still had to tell Robin and Mark about us. I putted about the room looking for a shirt to wear when I realized that my Ramones shirt was currently being worn.  
“I don't recall telling you that you could wear that....” I said, pointing to the shirt Lou was wearing. He smirked at me and laughed.  
“I don't recall asking.” he said. “What are you gonna do about it?” I took a step towards him, grabbing hold of his wrist and pulling him so his body was flush with mine.  
“I could just take it off of you myself.” I told him. He cocked an eyebrow at me.  
“Not sure I would try and stop you.” My hands found the hem of the shirt in question and I brushed my fingers against the material.  
“Not sure I’d be able to stop with just the shirt though. Are those my trousers? I might have to take those back by force as well.” I whispered against his ear. He shivered under my touch and I felt a swell of pride hit my chest. I loved being able to have that effect on him.  
“I might have to stop you there.” He murmured and I groaned at him, burying my face in his neck.  
“What's wrong, Haz?”  
“Nothing, just sexually frustrated.” I said accidentally. He sighed deeply and I immediately felt bad. I knew that he felt bad for telling me no when I tried to take things further the night before and I wasn't mad at him. I understood and didn't want to pressure him into anything. But everything Louis did turned me on.  
“I'm sorry.” he whispered, pulling away and sitting down on the bed facing away from me. My heart broke at how hurt he sounded.  
“Lou I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry.” I explained, sitting next to him and wrapping my arms around him tightly. He tried to pull away from me but I just held him tighter. “I'm a wanker and I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's just that I love you so much and it's so hard not to want you. But I understand why you want to wait. I promise I do. I'm not going to push you into anything. But just know, Louis, that I'm not worried about where our relationship is going. I'm not scared. I have you and I don't plan on letting you go ever. So if that's what you're worried about, don't be.” I promised him. He looked up into my eyes and sighed.  
“I'm sorry. I'm just scared. I've never... ya know done that before. You know I’ve had sex with girls and all but you're the first boy I’ve ever even thought about in that way. I don't want to be bad at it and it's going to hurt and you know who.... does what....” He told me.  
“Neither have I Lou. With ANYONE” He looked surprised by my admission and I laughed at the shocked look on his face. “Louis I'm a virgin. That's the reason why I never talk about my sex life with you guys. Because I don't really have one.”  
“But.... But Caroline.... and Emma.... and Josh?”  
“Never. With any of them. Including Josh. I never told you guys because I saw the way you and Zayn gave Niall such a hard time about it and I didn't want you guys to tease me.” I explained.  
“Haz.... I wouldn't have teased you. You know we wouldn't say anything to Nialler if we didn't think he could take it as a joke and I stopped saying anything about it the minute he told me it bothered him. It's nothing to be ashamed of. But I still think that's all the more reason for us to wait. Don't rush it Harry.”  
“See I respect that, Lou, but I don't feel like I’m rushing it. I know that this is right. I know that you're the one I want to share that with. I'm ready. It's all about you now.” I said. He stared at me for a moment, and then a shy smile broke our across his face.  
“So back to this who does what thing....” he mumbled.  
“We can figure that out later.” I said quickly as I felt my cheeks heat up. “Are you ready to go?” I asked as I picked his Leeds shirt up off of the floor and pulled it over my head and he nodded at me. I stood up and held out my hand to him, taking a deep breath and smiling. “Let's do this.”

Louis' POV  
The restaurant that Anne had chosen was quite, thankfully. The last thing that Harry and I needed was some teenage fangirl to overhear and out us to the entire world. We all sat around the table, Harry and I on one side, mum and Anne across from us, and dad and Robin on the two ends, chatting happily for a while before Robin finally cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.  
“So boys, I’m assuming that there's a good reason why we're all here and you're mothers look positively giddy with excitement. Am I right?” he asked us. Harry nodded nervously and I gripped his hand tightly under the table.  
“Well go on then. Out with it.” Dad told us. Harry looked down at me with terrified eyes and I cleared my throat, deciding to take the lead and just tell them.  
“Well Dad, Robin, we've already told mum and Anne and Gemma, although we were planning on telling all of you together here at lunch....” I shot a small glare at Harry and he bit his lip, flashing me a guilty smile. “Um... so anyway, what Harry and I wanted to tell you is.... we're.... um.....”  
“We're together!” Harry shouted before slapping his hand over his mouth, eyes widening in horror. My cheeks were burning as I looked back and forth between dad and Robin.  
“Well..... That's....” I stared at dad as he spoke, waiting breathlessly to hear what his reaction would be. “That's wonderful boys.” he beamed at me with pride and my heart swelled so much I thought it was going to explode. “It takes a lot of courage to do what you lads are doing, and I must say that I’m incredibly proud of the both of you.”  
“Thanks dad.” I whispered, not trusting my voice. I gave Harry’s fingers a light squeeze and smiled over at him before all eyes turned to Robin, who was staring straight ahead of him, looking completely zoned out.  
“Robin?” Harry asked hopefully, trying to catch his attention. He turned towards Harry at the sound of his name, his face blank, and looked at him for just a moment before pushing himself up out of his chair and making his way to the door without a words. Harry's jaw dropped and I watched as tears welled up in his eyes. Anne jumped up from her chair and ran after her husband and right as I pulled Harry into a tight hug. He sobbed into my chest violently and my mum stood up and took Robins empty chair, pulling it up next to Harry and rubbing his back soothingly.  
“It'll be OK pumpkin. Everything will be OK.” I whispered, although to be honest, I didn't quite believe it myself.

 

************  
Part 2

Stella's POV  
“Soooooooo.” I said awkwardly as Liam, Niall, Zayn, Perrie and I all sat together in a booth at the back of some cafe in downtown Holmes Chapel.  
“How do you think that's going?” Perrie asked. She literally took the words right out of my mouth.  
“I'm sure Jay is thrilled. She adores Harry and I’m not sure she was ever a big fan of Eleanor’s to begin with.” Liam told us.  
“How do you think Mark and Robin are taking it? They should all be at lunch by now, right?” Niall asked.  
“Marks pretty open minded. I think he kind of always thought Louis was a little bit less than straight to be honest.” Liam said.  
“Yeah I mean, we all knew Louis was a little gay.” Zayn added with a laugh. I rolled my eyes at him, but I honestly had to agree. Louis is definitely a little bit flamboyant. “I'm not so sure about Robin, though.”  
“He loves Haz. I'm sure everything will be OK.” Liam said thoughtfully. We all sat in silence for a few minutes just thinking about the whole situation. My eyes locked with Niall's over the table and he smiled at me, that heart melting smile that I absolutely adore. It made me want to remember everything, just like it always does.  
“Hey, guys. Guess what?” He said, after looking down at his phone. Everyone looked up at him curiously and his smile widened. “Got a message from Olly. He and Ed and Cher are coming up here tonight. They want us all to go out with them. What do you lot think?”  
“I'm up for anything.” Zayn agreed as Perrie nodded along with him.  
“I suppose a night out couldn't hurt.” Liam said. He definitely needed it too. Especially after what happened with him and Danielle.  
“Stell?” Niall asked me, eyebrow raised like he was challenging me to say no. I smirked at him.  
“Why not.” I said.  
“Brilliant!”  
“We should probably make sure Haz and Lou want to go though.” Zayn said.  
“Oh, I think they'll be a little busy tonight. Haz definitely has something planned for them.” I told them all mysteriously. They begged me over and over to tell them but I kept it to myself. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise....

Harry's POV  
To say that I was a little discouraged after what happened at lunch would be an understatement. In all honesty, I never really considered how much Robin's opinion on the whole thing meant to me until he wasn't saying anything. He's the closest thing I really have to a dad and I just want him to be proud of me. My dad's been pretty absent in my life for the most part. We see each other occasionally, and I love him a lot, but Robin has always really been the father figure for me. He taught me how to be a man.  
So there I stood, in front of the mirror in my mum's bedroom, preparing for the most nerve wracking night of my life, and I didn't have the support of the one man who really meant anything to me growing up. I tugged on the collar of my blazer and sighed as I stared at myself, trying to psych myself up. I hadn't really given Louis any details on where we were going or why, just that I wanted to take him out on a proper date seeing as we hadn't really had one since we'd been together. He seemed excited but nervous at the same time and I thought it was cute the way he kept asking for hints about what I had planned.  
“Oh, my baby. You look so handsome. Are you ready to talk to Jay and Mark before you go?” My mum cooed as she walked in the door. I let out a deep sigh. I had been pretty insistent on wanting to ask Jay and Marks permission before I proposed, but I was starting to become pretty terrified that they would say no.  
“Not quite. But I don't have a choice now, do I? I've already asked them to speak to me before I leave to get Lou.” I told her honestly. She rested her hand on my cheek and gave me a soft smile.  
“Don't worry love. Everything will be just fine. I'm going to head down and make some tea. Don't be too long. You haven't much time.” she said before kissing me on the cheek and making her way out of the room. I turned back to the mirror wanting to make sure my hair was all set before I went downstairs, and saw Robin in the reflection, standing awkwardly against the door frame.  
“Can I come in?” He asked.  
“'s your room, so I suppose you can.” I huffed. He took a few tentative steps towards me, his face softening as he looked me up and down.  
“Haz, I'm sorry. I know I didn't react the way you wanted me to.”  
“You can say that again.” I snapped. I didn't want to hear his excuses. Despite how angry I was acting, though, I was really more hurt than anything.  
“Let me finish.” he said forcefully and I turned around to face him.  
“Why? So you can tell me what a disappointment I am? I thought that you were more open minded than that. It hurts, Robin, that you cant accept me. That you don't love me unconditionally....”  
“Harry, you're not a disappointment! How could you ever think that? I'm so incredibly proud of you and everything you've done in life. You're a smart, charming, fantastic man. What father wouldn't be proud of that?” He exclaimed, sitting down on the bed.  
“Then why can't you accept this? Why did you walk out? I don't understand.” I told him. He patted the spot next to him on the bed and I reluctantly sad down, keeping a fair amount of distance between us.  
“Harry, I....” He hesitated for a moment, sighing deeply before continuing, like what he was trying to say was the most difficult thing in the world. “I never could have kids of my own. I found that out at a young age. And it was devastating for me, because I’d always wanted kids, even as a boy, I dreamed about the day I would have a son of my own to play football with and watch matches and teach how to ride a bicycle. But then all of the sudden I couldn't and it was hard to handle. And then your mum came along and I met you and Gem and I just.... I felt like everything that had been missing in my life had been found. You and Gemma completed my life. So I always thought of you as my own because you were the son I always wanted.” Tears had found their way into my eyes at his words and I couldn't hold them in much longer.  
“Why didn't.....” I sniffled, “Why didn't you tell me this? Before when I was a kid and I asked you and mum about it, about why you didn't have anymore kids, why didn't you just tell me?”  
“Because I wanted you to feel like you were enough. Because you are. Your mum had told me that if I wanted, we could explore our options, you know, adoption and whatnot. But I couldn't imagine two more perfect children than the two of you. I've always loved you like you were mine and I always will, Harry. It was never something I felt the need to share because I didn't want you to think that I was settling for you two.” He took a deep breath and I scooted closer, wrapping my arms around his waist like I used to do when I was a little boy and needed comfort. “Harry, no matter who you fall in love with, I will be there to support you. I just.... I needed time to process it. It's a big thing for any father to find out that his son is in love with another man and I just... I needed time. But Don't you dare think that I don't love you anymore. And don't you dare think that I don't accept you. Because I do. You may not be mine biologically, but in my heart, Harry, you will always be my son. Whether you're gay or straight, it doesn't matter. I love you and I love Louis and the only thing I want in life is for you to be happy.” He hugged me tightly to his chest as I sobbed into his shirt for a long few minutes. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders now that I knew that he didn't hate me.  
“I'm sorry I acted so rudely towards you just now.” I whispered, feeling ashamed, but he just shook his head and held me tighter.  
“I understand you were hurt. You acted much better than I expected. I wouldn't have put it past you to throw a few punches. I would have deserved it.” he chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. “Now,” he started, looking down at me seriously. “Your mother tells me that you two went ring shopping this morning.” I bit my lip. I didn't even think about how this conversation would go because, honestly, I hadn't thought we would have this conversation. So I just nodded in response, not quite sure what to say. “Are you sure you're both ready for a commitment like this? I know you boys have known each other a while and I know you both love each other, I can see it in your eyes, but this is a big step Harry. And it's one that you have to be ready for. Both of you."  
"I'm 100% sure that Louis is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with." I told him with absolute certainty.  
"Well then, let me give you a little piece of fatherly advice. Do not ever take that boy for granted. I've seen the way he is with you and I can see how much he cares for you. He would do anything to protect you, Haz. Make sure you do the same for him. Things are going to be hard for you both. Not everyone is going to agree with what you're doing and the way you feel about each other. You will have to be able to stand by each others sides no matter what life throws at you." He said. I nodded, hugging him once again. "Are you ready?"  
"I am now." I said with a smile.

Niall's POV  
“THEY'RE HERE! GUYS THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as I ran from my stop by the window, where I had been watching for Olly, Cher and Ed, towards the front door.  
“Nialler!” Liam shouted at me from the kitchen table, “Calm down mate! It hasn't been that long.”  
“Not since we've seen Ed or Olly. But we haven't seen Cher in AGES!” I ripped the front door open and raced outside. Olly was the first one of the three that I saw and I ran towards him, launching myself into his arms, wrapping my arms and legs around him and nuzzling my face into his neck.  
“Jesus mate!” He huffed as my body collided with his stomach. Cher and Ed walked up behind him giggling as Liam, Zayn, Perrie and Stella followed my path out the door. “Hey lads!” Olly called out over top of my head.  
“Ni, let the poor lad breathe.” Zayn laughed. I huffed out a defeated sigh and disentangled myself from Olly and scooping Cher up into an equally enthusiastic hug. I love Cher to death. She's always been like a sister to me and it's been so long since I’d seen her, I really needed to have some one on one time with her. When we were in the X-Factor, she used to always give me the best girl advice and I really need that right now.  
“Nialler! I missed you, love.” She squealed in my ear.  
“I missed you too Cher.” I told her, setting her back down on the ground. The rest of the lads all came over to say their hellos while I bro hugged Ed.  
“Well since Niall is going to be to rude to do so, Olly, Cher, Ed this is Stella. I don't think any of you have ever met her before.” Liam said. I shot him a glare.  
“I was excited.” I said defensively. I wrapped an arm around Stella's shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.  
“It's so nice to finally meet you!” Cher squealed, yanking Stella away from me and pulling her into a tight hug. “I've heard so much about you from Ni... Uh, all the boys.”  
“Lovely to meet you Stella.” Ed told her. I looked up at Olly noticing the look he had in his eyes as he looked down at her.  
“Hello love.” He said with a smile, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles lightly. Stella's face flushed bright red and I felt the jealousy build up inside me. She used to blush like that for me. Although, to be quite fair, between the three of them, Ed and Cher were the only two who knew anything about my feelings for Stella. It's just not something that Olly and I had ever talked about, although, now I really think we should. I know Olly. He's kind of a mix between Harry and Louis, charming and funny and girls literally fall all over him. I've seen him work his magic on the ladies before and I really don't want that to happen with Stella.  
“Hi.” She giggled as she smiled up at him. Great, she's already starting to fall for it. I felt a hand on the small of my back as I watched the scene play out in front of me and turned to my left to see Cher staring up at me sympathetically.  
“Let's go chat, shall we Ni?” She asked softly. I nodded down at her and followed her inside, up the stairs and into my room so that no one would overhear us. “She doesn't know how you feel?” I shook my head.  
“No. Cher I can't tell her yet. She doesn't remember anything about me except for one random memory of us dancing in the rain. She doesn't remember anything about the accident, or the way she felt about me or just..... anything about us.” I told her.  
“Niall, what did happen? You never really told me about the accident or anything about your friendship. Just that you liked her but she had a boyfriend and then that she had an accident.” she asked. I sighed, did I really want to relive the ENTIRE story all over again. But it's Cher and I know that she'll be able to help me figure everything out. Or at least try.  
“We were best friends. You know we met and went out a few times but I really messed it up. I guess she didn't think that I fancied her so she went and got herself a boyfriend. And then she found out he was cheating on her with her roommate. The night she caught them she came to my flat and we had an argument about..... just everything and she ran out. I followed her out and she told me she loved me so we kissed. Then she ran away and I told her that I loved her too. And that's when she got hit. And she doesn't remember a lick of it and i'm right back where I started, hopelessly in love with a girl who doesn't lkove me back.” I explained.  
“But Niall, she did love you back. I don't think those feelings just go away.” She tried to tell me but I wouldn't hear it.  
“She doesn't anymore Cher. She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember us being friends. She doesnt' remember our first kiss. She doesn't remember me. And now she's met Olly and she's going to fall in love with him and I just have to watch it happen.” I groaned. Cher rolled her eyes at me.  
“You can't possibly know that, Niall.” she argued.  
“Cher....”  
“Niall.” She challenged. “Look, Nialler, sweetie, just relax. Sure, she obviously thinks Olly is attractive, that much was obvious.....”  
“Oh thanks Cher.”  
“ANYWAYS, that doesn't really mean that she's going to like him all that much.”  
“Or maybe you should just tell her the truth and see how it all works out.” I turned around to see Louis, dressed in a black v-neck and a grey blazer.  
“Don't you look handsome!” Cher cooed at him and I smiled, happy that her attention was off me for a second. Unfortunatly, Louis' wasn't. He hugged her tightly, whispering hello's but kept his eyes on me the whole time.  
“I'm serious, Ni. This is ridiculous. Just tell her you love her already. You should have done it the day we met her but you didn't and look how that worked out. I'm not going to sit by and watch you both do this to yourselves again. If you don't do it tonight, then i'm going to tell her.” He scolded. I raised an eyebrow at his challenge.  
“Is that so?” He nodded at me, raising an eyebrow of his own to match the expression on my face.  
“It is so. Just do it mate.” He said. I thought about his words for a moment. He was right. I'm doing the same thing I did before, trying to hide my feelings to make her happy. But if I would have just told her how I felt to begin with, none of this would have ever happened. We would have been together months ago and I wouldn't be so damn miserable all the time. I fucking hate it when Louis is right.  
“Fine. I'll do it.” I finally agreed. A slow smile spread across his face and Cher clapped, bouncing up and down.  
“Yay!”  
“Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date to finish getting ready for.”

Harry's POV  
“Harry, sweetie, are you alright?” Jay asked me from her stop on the couch across from me. I had been sitting in the living romm with her and Mark, completely silent and staring nervously at my shoes for about 15 minutes. For some reason, I couldn't find the right words to say to them. I cleared my thrat and looked up into her eyes, they're so much like Louis' and it calmed me down just enough to speak.  
“Jay, Mark...... As you both know now, I'm in love with your son.” I started, swollowing down the lump in my throat. My mum reached over and took my hand, squeezing it gently for support as Robin sat beside me with his hand clasped tightly on my shoulder, almost as if to steady me. I took a deep breath before continuing and bit my lip. “I don't know when it started and frankly, I'm not quite sure how we ever got to this point, but i've never felt this way about anyone before. We've only been together a few days, but Louis is my best friend in the entire world and he is, without a doubt, the love of my life. I've planned a very special date for us tonight, but before I go pick him up, I wanted to ask you......” I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped my mums hand tightly. “I'd like to ask Louis to marry me. Tonight. You know, if that's alright with you.” Jay let out a loud laugh and my eyes shot open at the sound. I stared at her, completely embarrassed. Of course she was laughing. Why would I ever think that she would be ok with this. Louis is her baby boy.  
“Oh sweetie.” she started and I prepared myself for the rejection I knew I was about to face. “Of course it's alright with us. Right Mark?” My eyes went wide as I stared back and forth between her and Mark, who was nodding slowly at me.  
“It's not hard to see how much you two love each other.” he told me.  
“So you don't think this is moving to fast? That it's a terrible idea? I mean, I know this is all a lot to take in. You all just found out that we're both, not only gay, but in a relationship with each other.”  
“Harry, it does concern me. You're only 18 and Louis is only 20 and you've only just gotten together. It is very fast and you both are going to go through a lot of hard times not only being young, but also being gay and famous. But sometimes when you know, you just know. You both love each other very much. You've always had a special bond, even the most blind of men could see that. Louis has never cared about someone so feircely or loved someone so intensly as he does you. And in all the time i've known you, I've never seen you so passionate about anything. So if you're asking if you have out blessing, Harry, sweetie you should know that you do.” Jay explained. I blinked rapidly to try and supress the tears in my eyes, but it was no use, they spilled over anyways and streaked down my cheeks as I pushed myself up off of the couch and scooped her up into a tight hug.  
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I sobbed into her hair. There was a quiet shuffling of couch cusions around us and before I knew what was happening, Mark, Robin and my mum were all hugging us at the same time. We all held each other for a few moments before I finally pulled away, wiping the tears from my face and fixing my hair. I glanced down at my watch and then looked back up at all of them with a nervous smile. “I should probably head out then. We have reservations in half an hour and I don't want to keep Lou waiting.” I told them.  
“Good luck sweetie.” my mum told me as she kissed my cheek. I smiled down at her, taking the ring box from her and slipping it into my pocket before grabbing my keys off of the coffee table and making my way towards the door.

Louis' POV  
“Knock knock.” I heard Stella call out hesitantly as I stood in front of the mirror, trying to fix my hair and make myself look presentable for my date. Too bad for me that it was refusing to cooperate. Not only that, but I couldn't decide on what exactly to wear. I'd changed a total of six times before and after I had gone to talk to Niall. I had originally gone in there to say hi toCher and ask for her opinion, but had gotten distracted byt the Stella conversation. Now I was standing in the middle of the room in my breifs again, close to tears, trying to find anything that would make me look even half as attractive as my gorgeous boyfriend. “Can I come in?” she asked when I didn't respond to her. I nodded. “What's wrong boo? You look upset.” she said softly, walking up behind me, wrapping her small arms around my waist and resting her chin on my shoulder. I leaned my head against her and let out a defeated sigh.  
“This is hopeless, Stell. I can't find a thing to wear and my hair is a bloody disaster. I'm nervous and terrified and I know that I shouldn't be, I mean it's Harry you know? It's not like I should be uncomfortable around him, he's been my best mate for over two years. But he was so vague about our date tonight, and I keep getting the feeling that he's hiding something from me. I have no idea where we're going so I don't know how to dress and I just.....”  
“Louis. Relax. I'm here to help.” she cooed, squeezing my waist gently before letting me go and walking over to my bed to look at the clothes I had tossed all over it. After a few minutes of contemplatin gmy wardrove, she picked up the same black vneck and grey blazer I had been wearing while I was talking to Niall and handed them to me. “These are perfect. Not too dressy but not too casual. Plus, the shirt is harry's right? He loves it when you wear his clothes. He said he thinks it's sexy.” she explained. I pulled the shirt over my head and slipped on the blazer while she dug through the pile of clothes again to fing me a pair of trousers to wear. Sje settled on a pair of black skinny jeans and tossed them at me. I slipped them on quickly and looked at myself in the mirror again. I still looked a wreck with my hair sticking out in all directions, but at least I was dressed nicely enough.  
“My hair...” I started but she shushed me, coming up in front of me and pushing her fingers into said demon hair, tugging it and twisting it for a few minutes before reaching for the dresser and grabbing the hair spray I had nicked from Zayn's suitcase earlier, and spraying my hair with it.  
“There.” she said after a few minutes, tossing the hairspray onto the bed behind us. “All done.” I glanced over her into the mirror for the millionth time, but this time I actually liked what I saw. I smiled down at her and pulled her into a hug just as I heard the front door slam shut from downstairs. “Just in time too.”  
“I'm nervous.” I admitted. It wasn't hard to figure out, if she just looked into my eyes she would see it, but I needed a pep talki right now so I had to fess up out loud.  
“Don't be. What's he going to do, not like you? He already loves you Lou. He told his parents he was gay for you. He looks at you like you're the only person in the world. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Besides, from what I hear, I think you'll be very please with the way this night is going to go.” she told me. Pushing herself up on her tiptoes, she leaned in a pressed her lips to my cheek as she took my hand in hers. “Are you ready?” she asked happily.  
“Ready as I'll ever be.”

Harry's POV  
“Ladies and gentlemen!” I heard Stella call out from the stairs. I looked up quickly to find her standing at the bottom, a giant grin plastered on her face as she looked at me. “May I present the lovely, Mr. Louis Will.....”  
“Fuck off Stella!” Louis screamed at her in the middle of her sentence. I glanced up in the direction of his voice and watched him make his way down the stairs rolling his eyes and smirking.  
“Just trying to set the mood.” Stella huffed at him, but I couldn't pay any attention to her. Watching him made the nervous in my stomach go crazy again as I thought about what I was going to do tonight. How could I possibly speak to him when he looked so incredibly amazing. I noticed he was wearing one of my black v-necks and I had to supress a groan at the sight. Seeing him wearing my clothes had become such a turn on for me. They way my shirts hung loosly off of his frame..... I snapped myself out of my dirty thoughts quickly, shaking my head just as he reached me, standing my the door.  
“Hey.” I whispered, for lack of anything better to say. He smiled at me, blue eyes sparkling as they stared into my green ones.  
“Hey.” he whispered back.  
“You ready?” He nodded softly and took my hand as I led him out the door.  
“Have fun guys!” Stella called after us.  
“Don't do anything we wouldn't do!” Zayn added.  
“Zayn what wouldn't you do?” Niall asked just as the door shut. Thank god we didn't hear the answer to that question. I felt louis' had squeeze mine gently and I looked down at him with a small smile.  
“Are you excited?” I asked and he smiled back up at me.  
“Among other things.”  
“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, opening the passenger door of my Range Rover for him.  
“I'm also nervous, worried, scared, happy and....” he said, climbing into the seat and reaching out to pull me in for a quick kiss before adding “hopelessly in love.” I took a deep breath, trying hard not to swoon as I shut the door. He's always had a way of making me feel like the most special guy in the world, even before we were together. I raced around to my side of the car and climbed in, starting the engine and pulling out of the drive way. “So are you going to finally tell me where we're going tonight?” he asked. I turned and smirked at him mischeviously.  
“Not quite.” I teased. He glared at me and turned to face out the window, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, pretending to be angry with me. “Boo, you're going to love it, I promise. There's nothing to worry about. Don't you trust me?”  
“Of course I do!” He turned back around to face me, grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together. “But I fucking hate surprises.”  
“Language, Lou.” I scolded. He stuck his tongue out at me, crossing his eyes and pulling a face. It's amazing how easily he made the nerves go away. Two seconds ago I could barely breath at the thought of my plan and now I was entirely at ease with the whole situation.  
“You're worse than Liam.” he teased me. My mouth dropped open and I gave him a look that let him know I was deeply offended.  
“How dare you. Don't make me turn this car around.”  
“No! No don't do that! I'm sorry! I love you!” he pleaded. I let out a loud burst of laughter and pulled my hand away from his to cover my mouth but he grabbed it back and held it firmly. “I hate when you do that, you know.” he told me, eyebrows furrowing together. “You've got the most brilliant laught i've ever heard. Why do you try so hard to hide it?”  
“It's annoying and embarrassing.” I argued. Seriously, my laugh sounds so stupid I'm not quite sure how he could possibly think it was anything less than annoying.  
“It's cute and funny. I like the way you lose control when you laugh. It makes me smile.” he told me.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. You just completely let go. It's crazy to watch you because you try so hard to stop it but it takes over your whole face and body. So stop don't hide it from me anymore. You always act like i'm going to judge you for it or something. Harry you should know by now that i'm not. I already love you, that's not going to change.” I smiled over at him. I should have known all of this. I love the other lads, but Louis is the one person in this world that I know I can 100% be myself around. I don't ever have to hide or lie to him. He loves me unconditionally. I focus back on the road as we drive for a few more minutes before I finally pull up in front of the resteraunt I made reservations at. It's nothing fancy, but my mum has known the owners since I was a kid and I know we'll be able to have some privacy, whish is exactly what I want. I kissed his cheek quickly before hopping out of the car and racing to his side to open the door for him. He followed me inside, standing just enough distance away from me so that we didn't give ourselves away to any papparatzi that may have found out where we were.  
“Harry! Sweetie! So lovely to see you.” the owner's wife, Marianne cooed from the hostest stand as we walked in the door. I gave her a hug and then let her lead us to our table as the nerves started rushing back to me. I pulled Louis chair out for him and he rolled his eyes at me but sat down none the less.  
“Stop treating me like such a girl!” he joked.  
“With that ass? Might be hard to do.” I teased back.  
“You're a wanker, Harry Styles. An absolute wanker.”

Stella's POV  
I looked across the crowded club, trying to catch a glimpse of Niall. Cher, Perrie and I had left a little bit after the boys so that we could have a little longer to get ready. They had both decided to wear dresses and try to look really sexy, but I just wasn't as into that as they are so I stuck with a pair of torn up skinny jeans and a black v-neck. Easy and comfortable, but still cute. I finally spotted Niall across the room, talking to Olly and Liam. Olly had been sending me flirty looks since he had gotten in earlier today and I didn't really know how to feel about it. One the one hand, I know that I have feelings for Niall and they're so strong. But I'm not sure how he feels. Olly is incredibly attractive, so I couldn't really complain about the way he was looking at me. He caught my eye as I watched the three of them talking and smiled at me before turning back to Niall. Niall looked over at me too, a frown on his face as Olly excused himself from their conversation and headed over to me.  
“Hey.” He said loudly over the music. I smiled up at him sweetly.  
“Hey.” I took a sip of my beer as we both looked around the club. I didn't really feel very comfortable here, but everyone wanted a fun night out and who was I to spoil it. Honestly, I'd been contemplating asking Niall if he would take me back to the bungalow. Maybe I could get him to talk to me about..... well anything about us really. I hadn't really told anyone yet, but i'd been starting to remember some more stuff about him. Just random moments we had together, like the time we all went to a carnival and he made me ride the ferris wheel with him 10 times in a row, or the time Conner and I had a huge fight and he let me stay at his place while we watched sappy romantic movies all night long and cried together. It was obvious to me that he was a loyal and amazing best friend before the accident, but I got the feeling that there had been something more going on there than just friendship. I know that's why I felt the way I did toards him. I was obviously in love with him before and I still feel the same. It's him I'm so unsure about. I just needed him to tell me about the accident and maybe everything would make sense.  
“You look very nice tonight.” Olly told me, his sweet voice breaking into my thoughts of Niall.  
“Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself.” I said back, sending him a flirty smile. If I was going to be stuck in this place, I might as well have a little fun with it. I sat around at the bar chatting with him for a while, just generally trying to get to know him. He seemed like he was really close to all the boys and he was so sexy, it was really hard not to be a little bit enamored by his easy smile and big brown eyes. Talking to him was just so comfortable. At least, until Niall came over to us. Not that Niall made me uncomfortable in general. But the way that he glared at Olly when he greeted us definitely made things awkward.  
“Looks as if you two are getting on real well.” He said, his tone a little bitter sounding for my liking. I just chalked it up to the copius amounts of alcohol that I was assuming he had consumed, though. “Stell, can I speak to ya for a minute?” he asked, leaning in close enough that I could feel his warm breath wash over my face. It smelled like mint and chocolate and nothing like he had been drinking. I nodded lightly and his fingers slipped around my wrist, gripping it just enough to pull me away but not tight enough to hurt. He led through the club, past the dance floor and to a small booth in the back corner where the music wasn't too loud and no one else was around.  
“Is everything alright Ni?” I asked as I slid into the seat next to him. He turned his whole body to face me and I could see the faint traces of tears in his eyes. “Ni.” I said softly, pulling him into my arms and hugging him tightly. His whole body bagan to shake as he sobbed into my chest.  
“I'm so s-s-sorry Stella.” he cried. “I want to tell you everything. I want you to know everything but I just..... I'm so scared that you're going to hate me and this has all been so hard already. You're so important to m-m-me and I just can't lose you. I..... I thought I l-l-lost you once and it hurt so bad.”  
“Shhhhhhh Niall calm down. Please calm down.” I murmured softly into his ear. I stroked my hand up and down his back, kissing his hair gently and whispering absolute nonesence to him for a few minutes to calm him until his breathing finally slowed and he looked up at me with big watery blue eyes.  
“I don't want to do this here. But I do want to tell you. I have to.... I have to tell you the truth.” He hiccupped.  
“Do you wanna go for a walk with me then? Let's just get out of here and talk, just you and me.” I told him. He nodded, biting his lip as I reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I'm gonna go say goodbye to the girls and you tell Liam and the boys we're leaving.” I instructed.  
“Ok.” he whispered. I stood up from my seat and made my way over to the dancefloor where Perrie and Cher were talking to Ed and Olly.  
“Hey, guys, Niall and I are gonna get out of here. I'm tired and he's not feeling well.” I lied. Cher looked up at me sadly and threw her arms around me.  
“No don't leave! We were having so much fun!” She protested.  
“I promise we'll hang out. I have your number now so i'll text you when we get back to London and we'll go shopping or something.” I promised her.  
“You'll have to promise to see me too, or I won't let you go either.” Olly told me as Cher stepped aside. He pulled me in for a hug and kissed my cheek.  
“Yeah, definitely.” I agreed as Niall walked up beside me, slipping his hand into mine and tugging me towards him roughly.  
“Are you ready?” He asked in my ear and I nodded in agreement. “See you lot later then.” We made our way across the club and out the door into the cool night air, walking in silence for a few long moments before I finally decided to break the awkward tension.  
“I remember on time....” I started. He looked down at me, his eyes wide, and I smiled back up at him thoughtfully. “I was having a really bad day, I think. I don't know I just rmemeber that I felt really bummed out and upset so I called you. You were in the middle of a photo shoot or something and you made them stop in the middle it just so you could talk to me and make me feel better.”  
“You....” His grip on my hand tightened. “I hate when you're sad. I always did everything I could think of to make you happy, even if that meant I got into a little bit of trouble.” He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side. “Anythng to see that smile on your face.”  
“Niall, you have to tell me about the accident. You can't avoid it anymore, ok. I deserve to know and....”  
“I know!” I sighed, I didn't mean to upset him. “I'm sorry, I just..... It's hard, ya know. Stella you..... If I tell you the truth, if I lay everything out there for you, will you promise me that you won't be mad at me? Promise me that you won't hate me?” He pleaded. I stopped walking, taking both of his hands in mine and turning him to face me.  
“I promise, Nialler. I promise.”

Harry's POV  
Dinner had been going great. It was like nothing had changed between Louis and I. We were still best mates, despite our new relationship status. The only difference was that now I could kiss him whenever I wanted. We spent the whole time laughing and talking, just like we always do, but I could tell that, by the time we ordered dessert, he was beginning to get impatient. He could tell I was hiding something from him and I knew that it was finally time.  
“Marianne.” I called out to the older woman as she walked by our table. She didn't stop, just nodded at me with a soft smile and dissapeared into the kitchen, returning just a second later with a bottle of champagne, setting it and the two glasses down on the table, along with a small basket. I smiled up at her before turning back to Louis, who looked at me, confusion evident in his big blue eyes. “Come on then.” I said, reaching out my hand to help him up from his seat before grabbing the basket and the champagne and heading towards the back door of the resteraunt.  
“Haz?” he asked skeptically.  
“Relax. Just follow me, everything will be fine, boo.” I led him through the back alley and towards a small patch of forrest that I used to play in as a little kid. It led to a crystal clear lake and once we made it there, I stopped, setting the basket down and pulling out a blanket that I had packed int here earlier in the day. I laid it out in the grass and sat down, shrugging my blazer off my shoulders as Louis did the same.  
“What is this?” he asked as he leaned into my side. I laid down on my back, pulling him down bweside me and lacing out fingers together.  
“I used to come here all the time when I was a kid. I would sneak out of my houre at night and come lay out here during the summer and just stare up at the stars and think.” I said vaguely. He turned his head so that he could look at me and smiled.  
“Bout what?” He asked. I slow smile spread across my face as I looked at him for a second before gazing bacck up at the the stars.  
“Life. Music. My family. My future. A little bit of everything. But mostly I thought about love. I would spend hours and hours out here wondering what it was like to fall in love. If I ever would. And when. What would that person be like. Would we be together forever. I would sit here and imagine my perfect love. Sometimes it would be a girl. Sometimes a guy. More often then not it was a guy. I don't know why I never realized that before. Whenever I would try to picture that person, there was one thing that I always knew for sure. I was going to love them unconditionally and with absolutely everything I had inside.” I told him.  
“That's beautiful Haz.”  
“That person is you, Louis. I hope you know that.” I turned over onto my side and propped myself up on my elbow so that I could see his whole face. “I think i've always known it. You're the only person in this world that i've loved without a doubt. I always thought that's what made us the best of friends, but now I know that it was more than that. Sometimes you did stupid things, or said things you didn't mean, I never loved you any less for it. You've always been the sun and the moon to me, you know? I never knew just how much that meant until recently, but its always been true. For two years, you've been the most important person in my life. No girl or guy ever came close. And I just.... I can't imagine loving anyone even 1/10th of the amount with which I love you. Louis....." I sat up suddenly, nervously playing with my fingers and Louis sat up too, turning so that we were face to face. He took my hands in his and squeezed the reassuringly. "Louis, life for us is going to be hard, you know? We're not going to always be loved for who we are and people are going to treat us differently when they find out we're together. We've got so many odds stacked against us, I mean not only are we young but we're also gay and were famous. People are going to be nasty to us and look at us different and tell us that we're wrong to live the way we do. And I know that I've never been the best at dealing with hate to begin with, but Louis, I know that as long as I have you, as long as we are together, we can weather any storm. I've always been so scared of what people thought of me but I'm not scared anymore. You are the only thing that matters now. You always have been. And when I think about the future like I used to when I was a kid.... When I think about my perfect love, I think about messy brown hair and an easy laugh. I think about eyes that crinkle and a smile that makes my heart literally stop. I think about cuddling all night when it storms and that stupid mushroom joke that you tell all the time, and waking up in the middle of the night with all the covers laying on the floor and you wrapped around me. I think about endless amounts of Yorkshire tea and you trying to make omelets but almost burning the kitchen down and cold showers because you use up all the hot water. I think about you stealing all my clothes and finding yours all over the floor in every room of our flat. You're in every single dream I have for the future, Louis, and I hope like hell you feel the same way. I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few days, I really have. And never once did I second guess myself or think maybe we should wait. I want you to be mine for eternity." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring. "Marry me Louis."


	24. I'd Sink Us To Swim

Louis' POV  
“Marry me Louis.” He whispered the words so softly to me, but they rang out in my head almost as if he had screamed them. 'Marry me.' I stared into his big green eyes and let his speech wash over me. I know, in my heart, that he's the only one for me. I've been in serious relationships in the past, with Hannah and Eleanor, but never once did they evoke the same feelings inside of me that Harry does. No one has ever made my knees go weaker or the butterflies in my stomach flutter more furiously than he did. And I wanted, with everything in me, to say yes. My heart was screaming it. But for some reason, this rational part of my brain that I never even knew existed until this very moment was trying to take over. We're so young and there are so many things at stake here. I know he's it for me, but if management doesn't want us together, they could make us break up or kick us out of the band. I can't even imagine asking him to give up everything he loves just to be with me. I would. I know that if the situation arose and Pete or Nick looked me in the eyes and told me to choose between my career and Harry, there would be no hesitation. I would choose him in a heartbeat. But it would seem so selfish to ask him to do the same. This life we have, being able to go out on stage and sing to thousands of people and make music and tour, being able to sing every single day and night, it's all he's ever wanted in life. He's dreamed about it since he was a little boy. I remember so clearly, when we were on X-Factor, right before we got put together and he was told he didn't make it through just how devastated he was. We had only known each other for maybe a day or two, but we'd clicked instantly, and I could just see it in his eyes that his whole world was crumbling down around him. I can't take this all away from him and expect him to settle for a quiet life with just love to get him through his days. He doesn't know anything other than this. “Louis? Lou please answer me. I feel like an absolute idiot just sitting here like this. Please just say something.” he begged, breaking in to my thoughts. I bit down on my lip nervously.  
“Harry, I...” I started, but stopped when I realized that there was no possible way I could say no to those big green eyes and that lopsided smile. “Harry, I want to say yes. I do. More than anything in this world. But I don't want to ask you to give all of this up if we're forced to choose between being together and being in this band. That's not fair and I can't make you give up your dream..” I was cut off abruptly half way through my speech by his lips on mine. They moved slowly against mine, soft and comforting and I immediately calmed down as my mind blanked out the way it always did when harry was kissing me.  
“Boo, I would give up my life, my existence, for you. You really think giving up this band is going to be so heartbreaking for me. Don't get me wrong, I love the lads and I love making music, but if doing that means I can't love you too, then this life isn't worth it. Singing was my dream when I was a kid and I thought about what I wanted to do with my life. What I wanted to be when I grew up. But now, when I lay awake at night and think about those same things all I can think is that what I want to do with my life is love you. I want to be yours. That's enough for me. I don't want to give up the band because I love Liam and Niall and Zayn so much and can't imagine life without them, but if that's what I have to do to be able to wake up every morning with you in my arms, to be able to get married and have kids and grow old together with YOU, then I’ll do it without a second thought. You're all I need in life, Louis. We could be homeless and poor, living in a van under a bridge and it would be enough for me as long as I have you. So if that's why you're scared to say yes, then don't be. Please.” he explained. The way that he looked at me in that moment, like I was the only person in the world, it made me realize just how much I hate 'Rational Louis'. He's a really downer. I dropped his hands from mine and grabbed his face, pulling it close and crashing out lips together.  
“Yes. Yes yes yes a million times yes!” I cried in between kisses. I felt him smile against my lips before taking my hand and slipping the small silver ring on my finger, all the while, never breaking out kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his lap and held me tightly as I buried my face into his neck and sighed. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect than this moment, right now.  
“Louis?” he whispered, after a few minutes of silence which I spent absentmindedly twirling the silver band around my finger.  
“Yeah Haz?” I asked softly, gazing up into his eyes. He pressed his lips against my forehead gently and smiled down at me.  
“I love you so much Boo.” he told me. My heart pounded in my chest. We've said it a million times to each other now, but it felt like the first time all over again. He wasn't saying it as my best mate, or even my boyfriend anymore. He's my fiance now. The man I'm going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.  
“I love you too, pumpkin.” I choked out, trying so hard not to cry at my own thoughts. I've never felt happier before. He's the absolute most perfect person in this entire world and I can't imagine anyone else being more right for me than Harry Styles. As if to almost disprove (or prove, depending on how you look at it {OK this totally proved my point that he's perfect, I really can't even lie}) he looked down at me with a cheeky smile.  
“So..... engagement blow jobs?” he asked hopefully. I rolled my eyes and pushed myself up out of his lap, slapping him lightly on the arm, but he wouldn't be my Harry if he wasn't being a cheeky little bugger.  
“You're fucking lucky I love you, Haz. I should smack you right across the face for that. You ruined a perfectly good moment with your cock.” I scolded him lightly. His grin spread further across his face and I knew that there was no way I could say not to that. “Fuck you, let's go.” I groaned, jumping up and grabbing his hand. He looked up at me and pouted and I frowned at him as I pulled him to his feet. “If you think I’m blowing you in a public park you're even crazier than I thought. You can wait until we get back.” I told him. He huffed out a little sigh but I could tell he was just teasing. I knew as well as he did that we had already pushed the limits of what we could do in public just by being out in a park snogging, not to mention getting engaged. Public sex acts would just get us into even more trouble if we got caught. Not that the thought didn't excite me, but we only JUST started fooling around the night before. Going from bedroom to wide open field in 24 hours was definitely out of my comfort zone.  
“You know the backseat of my car is quite comfortable. Plus no one would be able to hear you when you start screaming my name.” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me suggestively. I planted both of my hands firmly on his chest and pushed him back down to the ground before grabbing the basket, still full of dessert, and making my way back in the direction we had came from. “It was just a suggestion!”

Niall’s POV  
I sighed nervously. Even though she promised she wouldn’t be upset, i was still worried. Stella means more to me than anything in the world and I really can’t afford to lose her again. I don’t know if my heart can take that. I shut my eyes, blinking back the tears and opened my mouth, preparing to lay it all on the line, but then....  
“Niall! Niall Horan! Who is this girl?”  
“Is this your girlfriend? What’s her name? How did you two meet?”  
“How long have you known each other?”  
“What about Amy?”  
“Are you still friend with Demi Lovato even though she didn’t want to date you?”  
“Are you still seeing Amy? Are you cheating on her with this girl?” I grabbed Stella’s hand and tried to pull her down the street to get away from the paparazzi. I hadn’t even thought about all of this when we left the club. I couldn’t believe i hadn’t been more careful with her.  
“Who’s Amy?” Stella asked, stopping in her tracks and yanking her arm out of my grasp.  
“Stella can we not talk about this here? Please i...”  
“No I’m serious. You wanted to tell me the truth now tell me? Who’s Amy?” She demanded. I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged roughly, groaning in frustration.  
“Look, it’s a long story OK. Just please can we do this in private?” I begged.  
“Is Amy your girlfriend?” She asked, ignoring my question completely.  
“NO! Stella, Amy’s not important. Please just come with me and we can talk about this alone. I don’t need the whole world knowing about any of this. PLEASE.” I pleaded. I tried to grab her hand again but she pulled it away and backed away from me.  
“I can’t believe this. I really thought..... I don’t know I thought you actually cared about me. I thought that MAYBE that was why you were so afraid to tell me what happened. Because you liked me or something. Not because you didn’t want me to find out about your girlfriend or whatever.” She snapped.  
“No Stella stop please. That’s now what this is. Amy’s not my girlfriend. She never was and she never will be. She’s just a friend. She doesn’t mean anything. You.... You’re the only one that means anything....”  
“If I mean so fucking much to you Niall, then why couldn’t you just be honest with me from the very beginning? Why couldn’t you just tell me everything that I’ve wanted to know all along? For fucks sake Niall, why, if I’m so god damn important to you, does everyone in the world know about this fucking Amy girl and not me?” She yelled. I’d never seen her so angry before, not even the night of the accident. Her face was a deep shade of red and her hands were clenched into tight fists. I always knew she had a little bit of a temper, but she looked absolutely murderous. A part of me was almost afraid she was going to hit me, although I probably deserved it.  
“Stella it’s because you mean so much to me that they DON’T know about you. You’re too important to me. I didn’t want them to be able to hurt you. All they ever do is lie Stella and it ruins everything.” I explained, trying to stay as calm as possible, but inside I was panicking. She was going to run away again and the paparazzi would see everything. They would figure out who she was and make up horrible lies about her, about us, about everything that’s happened. What if they found out about her accident? “Stella please....”  
“No. You know what Niall, I thought you were fucking different. I thought that something was there between us, but you’re just.... I don’t want to speak to you any more. Not for the rest of this trip and not ever again. I can’t believe I trusted you!” She yelled. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and I could tell that this was the end for us. I had really hurt her. I should have never kept anything from her. Actually, I should have just stayed away from her. All I’ve ever done for her is cause problems in her life and she doesn’t deserve that. But I don’t want to have to face this world without her. It’s not that I don’t want to be alone, I just don’t want to be without her. If I can’t have her in my life then life isn’t worth living anymore. I knew I had to fix this somehow, but I was at a complete loss as to how to do that.  
“Stella.” I whispered, not trusting my voice. I felt the tears spill down my cheeks and there was nothing I could do to stop them.  
“Save it. This, whatever this even is, is done. You’re out of my life Niall. Forever.” she said sadly before turning on her heel and walking away. I urged my feet to move, to run after her but I was rooted in my stop on the pavement.  
“Whoa.” one of the paparazzi guys said behind me. My blood boiled at that. This was all their fault. If they would just leave us all the fuck alone I would have been telling her the truth right now. And maybe she would tell me she loves me back and everything would be alright.  
“Fuck you!” I screamed, turning around to face them all. “Fuck. You. All you ever fucking do is ruin everything! Can’t you just leave me the fuck alone? Can’t you just leave us all alone?”  
“Dude it sounds like you fucked this one up on your own. That girl was smoking. Shouldn’t have cheated on her if you didn’t want this to happen.” the man said. I lunged at him, knocking his camera from his hands and pinning him against the wall of the building behind him.  
“You have no fucking clue what the hell your talking about, you worthless piece of shit. Leave her alone and leave me alone. Fucking stay out of my life.” I growled. I released him from my grip and let him fall to the ground before storming off. It wasn’t until i made it halfway to the bungalow that i realized how badly i had just fucked up. The videos of that were going to be everywhere. I was going to be in major trouble.

Harry’s POV  
When I opened the door to the bungalow all I could hear was shouting. Louis and I glanced at each other, rolling our eyes at the noise as we made our way into the kitchen hand in hand. Louis set the basket down on the counter and followed me into the living room, both of us stopping dead in our track in the doorway, staring in confusion at the scene laid out in front of us. Niall was backed up against the wall, face red and looking terrified as Zayn screamed in his face, Liam trying to hold him back, while Perrie stood across the room watching wide eyed.  
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING! YOU ASSULTED SOMEONE! YOU’VE PUT YOUR REPUTATION ON THE LINE! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU NIALL!” Zayn screamed at him. He tried to rip his arms away from Liam but it was no use. Liam is a lot stronger than all of us, which is part of the reason it’s so easy for him to keep us all in line.  
“I’m so s-s-s-sorry. I wasn’t thinking and I...”  
“Damn right you weren’t thinking! You’re so fucking stupid Niall! So stupid and so impulsive. Do you ever fucking think about the consequences of your actions? That man could press charges against you! You could fucking go to JAIL Ni! What do you think that’s going to do to you, huh? To the band? The things you do don’t only affect you anymore. You can’t just go slamming blokes into walls because they make you angry and then thinking that you won’t get punished for it. What are people going to think when they find out about this? What’s your mother going to say?”  
“Don’t. Please don’t bring my mother into this. I know I mucked up. I’m so sorry. I didn’t... I just.... I’m such a fuck up!” Niall sobbed, crumpling to the floor with his head in his hands. I dropped Louis hand and made my way over to Niall, sitting down next to him and wrapping him up in my arms.  
“Zayn what’s going on?” Louis asked, still standing in the doorway. Zayn glared at me for comforting Niall before turning on his heel and looking up at Louis.  
“This IDIOT got pissed at some paparazzi guy and slammed him up against a brick wall. Theirs video of it all over the internet now and Simon called and said that the guy is threatening to file assault charges.” He explained. Louis followed my path over to Niall and sunk down to the floor on his other side, taking Niall’s face in his hands and forcing him to look into his eyes.  
“Is this true Niall?” he asked softly. Niall wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded sadly, looking down at the floor. “What happened? Tell me the truth Niall.”  
“Why don’t you just watch the video?” Niall whispered. Louis shook his head, curling an arm around his back.  
“I don’t want to watch the video I want to hear your side of the story.” he said. Niall sighed, fiddling with his fingers in his lap for a long while before finally speaking.  
“I was trying to tell Stella about everything, just like you wanted. We were taking a walk and I was getting ready to tell her everything but then the paparazzi showed up and started asking me about her and about Demi and Amy. I tried to get her away so that I could explain everything in private, but then she started asking who Amy was and wouldn’t let me explain. We got into a fight and she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. I got upset and the guys started making comments, assuming that we were fighting because i was cheating on her or something and I just snapped. I know what i did was wrong, i just... I couldn’t control myself. I love her so much and all i wanted was the chance to make everything right and they ruined it all just like they always do!” At that, Niall started sobbing again, turning towards me and burying his face in my chest. Zayn huffed out a sigh, rolling his eyes and stomping off into the kitchen, dragging Perrie along with him.  
“Where’s Stella now?” Louis asked, looking up at Liam.  
“She was gone when we got back so I rang Olly and Cher to see if they’d heard from her. Apparently she asked Olly to come pick her up and take her back to London with him.” he told us.  
“Fuck!” Niall yelled. He lifted his head from my chest and stared up at me, his blue eyes wide and pleading. “I have to go back, Haz. I have to get to her. She can’t be with Olly. I can’t let that happen.” he begged.  
“Ni, calm down. Everything is going to be OK. We’re going to work it out I promise.” I said, trying to comfort him.  
“No.” I looked up at Liam, confused. “Everything is NOT going to be OK. Everything’s gone to hell, Harry, and it’s all his fault.” he snapped. Niall whimpered into my shirt and tightened his grip around me.  
“Liam!” Louis snapped, jumping up from the floor and rounding on Liam, staring him down angrly.  
“I’m sorry but it’s true. Get your shit together Niall. For your own sake and the sake of the band.” Liam said coldly, before stalking off into the kitchen to join Zayn. Louis sat back down, wrapping his arms around Niall and letting him continue to cry between us. I looked up at him, nervous about what was happened. Ever since we’ve been a band, we’ve never had a fight like this. And now we’re so divided over something so stupid. What if this breaks us? Louis gazed back at me, grasping my hand in his over Niall’s knees and squeezing my fingers gently as he pressed closer to Niall.  
“Don’t worry. Don’t be afraid. Everything is going to be OK. This will all work out. We’ve been through worse things together. Yes, Liam and Zayn are upset now, we all love each other. We’re a family and we always will be.”


	25. Cut's Like A Knife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: there is cutting in this at the end. Don't read if you don't think you can handle it.

Stella's POV  
It was my phone that woke me up the next morning, buzzing incessantly. I should have just turned it off. I made to sit up so that I could pick it up but I couldn't move. Something was holding me in place. Or possibly someone. My eyes shot open and I found my face buried in an unfamiliar neck. I blinked and pushed away to sit up and look around. The room wasn't one I’d ever been in before. I looked back at the boy on the bed and found Olly. I sighed, I’d almost forgotten about everything that had happened the night before, about the fight with Niall and calling Olly. But now it was all rushing back to me. 

Flashback.  
I dialed the number, my fingers shaking, my whole body buzzing with anger.  
“Ello?” The voice on the other end called out confused.  
“Olly?” I whispered.  
“Stella?” I didn't even bother asking how he knew it was me.   
“Olly can you come get me?”I knew it was a lot to ask. We had only just met and for all I knew, he could be some creepy weirdo that likes to lock girls in his basement or something, but even that was more appealing that going back to the bungalow to face Niall and the other boys. Really I just wanted to go back to London.   
“Um. Of course. Where are you? We were just getting ready to head back.” he told me. I looked around, trying to find a good marker for him to find me.  
“I'm not really sure. Um there's a coffee shop right behind me.” I said. I walked towards it and looked up at the street sign. “Um it's Church Walk. That's the road.”  
“I'll be there in a minute.” he said. “Don't move.” I leaned back against the wall, pulling my cigarettes out of the back pocket of my jeans and lit one. I puffed it slowly, letting the smoke fill my lungs and stared out at the street in front of me, waiting for Olly. After am minute or two, my phone beeped, letting me know I had a new text.  
Perrie: What the hell happened?  
I typed out a response telling her that I would talk to her about it later and that I wasn't coming back just as a car I had never seen before pulled up and stopped in front of me. The drivers side door opened and Olly stepped out, looking down at me curiously.   
“What happened? Are you alright?” I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes again. He walked over to me and pulled me into a tight hug. “Don't worry, love. I've got you now. Let's get you back to the lads.”  
“No! Please, I really just want to go home. Please Olly.” I begged. He nodded.  
“Of course. Let's go love.”

I grabbed my phone off of the nightstand, trying not to move too much so I wouldn't wake Olly up, and unlocked it to find 17 missed phone calls and 10 missed texts.

Loubear: Stel please answer your phone.  
Loubear: STELLA!!!!! ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE!  
Loubear: I'm sorry, but seriously Stella please. I'm worried.  
Li: stel, z n I'll b home 2day. i guess lou n haz r keeping niall at the bungalow 4 a few days. please come round wen we get home so we can talk.  
Zayn: Everything is going to be alright love.   
Haz: Stel come on. Cut the lad a break please. He didn't even get the chance to explain.  
Haz: I love you Stel, but you're making a huge mistake.  
Haz: You're ridiculous.   
Loubear: STELLA JONES YOU BETTER ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE THIS INSTANT OR I WILL CALL YOUR FATHER!  
I laughed at the last text from Lou. He always threatened to call my dad, but it's not like there was anything my dad could do. He was back in Ireland. I opened the final text and let out a sigh.  
Nialler:)<3 : I'm so sorry.  
My phone began to buzz again with an incoming call from Louis. I slipped out of Olly's bed and made my way out of the room to answer.  
“Lou....” I whispered.  
“STELLA JONES WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!” He yelled through the phone.  
“I'm fine. I'm in London with Olly.” I told him.  
“Stella, why didn't you call me?” I thought about that for a minute. Why hadn't I called Louis? He's my best friend. He should have been the first person I called.   
“I don't know Lou. I knew you were with Harry. I didn't want to ruin it.” I said.  
“Bullshit Stella. You knew that Olly would be the person that would piss Niall off the most.” He snapped.  
“Like he even cares, Lou. Seriously, you have no idea. I thought he was going to finally tell me that he had feelings for me. But he doesn't. You were wrong. You know what, just fucking stay out of it. And tell Harry to stay out of it as well. It's none of you fucking business.” I yelled before clicking the end button. I immediately regretted it, but I wasn't about to call him back and admit it. Louis is so damn stubborn sometimes and I just wanted to figure this all out on my own.   
“Stella?” a groggy voice called out behind me. I turned around to find Olly, standing in the doorway to his bedroom in a t-shirt and his boxers, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked adorable, different from any time I’d seen him on TV or from last night. More casual.   
“Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up.” I apologized. He shook his head, making his way into the kitchen, motioning for me to follow, which I did.   
“'s alright love. I needed to get up anyway. I have an interview later. Tea?” I nodded, pulling myself up on the counter to sit. He smiled over at me as he poured the water into the kettle.  
“Thank's for coming to get me last night.” I said. “I know that you didn't have to. We don't really know each other and.....”  
“Stella, it's fine. I was more than happy to do it.” he told me, cutting me off before I could apologies. “Look, I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but if you'd like to tell me what happened, I'm a great listener.” I sighed. I really didn't want to talk about it, especially with someone I don't really know, but at the same time, maybe a new perspective would be good.  
“It's just....... It's a really long story. And it's really complicated.” I told him. He handed me a mug of tea before hopping up on the counter across from me and checking his watch.  
“I've got time.”

Niall's POV  
The urge to cut was getting stronger. I'd had the urge every single day since Stella's accident, but I hadn't given in. I couldn't when I knew that there was a chance that things would be OK. That she would still be in my life. But now, I'd fucked it all up and she was gone. All I had were my feelings. I was back to feeling worthless, stupid, ugly. Not good enough. Never good enough. Harry and Louis refused to let me go home with Liam and Zayn, not that they would have wanted me anyway. Louis told me it was better if I stayed with them for another few days. I felt awful. I'd ruined their night, I’d seen the ring on Louis' finger and knew that they had gotten engaged. I'd ruined my friendship with Liam and Zayn, neither of whom would even look at me before they left in the morning to go back to London. I'd ruined any chance I had with Stella. I'd ruined my reputation and probably our career. Simon had called me first thing in the morning schedule a meeting with me but I had ignored it, so he'd called Louis who told me that when we came back from Holmes Chapel in a few days we would all be going in for a band meeting. I was terrified. What if they kicked me out. Liam and Zayn clearly didn't want to be around me anymore. And I could bet that the only reason that Louis was still talking to me was because of Harry.   
Harry. He would be so disappointed in me if he knew how I was feeling. He's probably disappointed in me anyways. I'm such a fuck up. I wanted nothing more than to talk to him about all of this, but I don't want him to be mad at me when I tell him how bad I want to cut again.   
I'm trying so hard to push through the urge, but it's stronger than ever. What's the point of being alive anymore when everyone hates me.   
I pulled out my phone and opened up twitter, knowing it would just make me feel worse. I checked my mentions and there were some words of encouragement, mostly from friends who understood the pressures of being a celebrity. But our fans, oh god our fans. They were all over me. Telling me how horrible I was. How disappointed they were in me. That I didn't deserve to be in the band anymore. That I never deserved it in the first place. I quickly closed the app and pulled up my contacts, finding my dad's name and hitting call. It rang a few times before he finally picked up.  
“I was wonderin when you'd call.” he huffed. Great. Even he was angry. I shouldn't have been surprised. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him.  
“Pop....” I started.  
“No Niall. I'm extremely disappointed. I know I raised ya better than that. What, were ya drunk or somethin?” He snapped. I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes.  
“No pop, listen...”  
“You're brother woulda never done somethin like that.” he told me. I didn't respond, just sat there in silence for a moment until he spoke again. “I suppose they kicked ya out of the band and ya want to know if you can come back home. Well you'll have to call your mother on that one, lad.”   
“I'm so sorry, pop. Really I am.” I pleaded, the tears now streaming down my face.  
“Yeah, well, Niall, you're always sorry, but ya never learn. You can't expect to mess up so badly and not deal with the consequences.” I hung up before he could say any more, burying my face in my pillow and letting go, screaming at the top of my lungs. Of course he wouldn't give me any comfort. I was worthless to him. Nothing but a screw up. Greg was the one he really wanted. I was just a mistake. I'd thought that things would be OK after X-Factor, after I joined the band. I thought that maybe he would be proud of me, and it had seemed like he was. He'd been great with the other lads and he'd actually told me he loved me after the show ended and we got signed. But he never did understand me. Greg is tougher, has a much thicker skin than I do. I know that I mostly act like i'm this carefree guy, and really since i've been in the band, I am, but I was always the sensetive one between the two of us.   
I pulled my phone close to me again, wiping my eyes and searching my contacts for my brothers name. He may have been my dads favorite, but he and I were also always really close. I knew he would be understanding and let me explain.   
“Hey Nialler.” I heard him say, breaking into my thoughts. “Are you ok?” I bit my lip and swollowed hard, trying to calm myself.  
“Um, no, not really.” I said honestly.  
“I'm sorry, baby bro.” he said.  
“I called dad.” I told him.  
“I can only imagine how that went.” he said and I could practically hear his eyes rolling.  
“He basically told me that if I were like you I wouldn't be such a dissapointment.” I said. “He said that you would never do that and that he assumed it happened becaise I was cdrunk....”  
“Niall don't listen to him. If you were me you wouldn't be where you are. Dad doesn't know anything about my life now. Trust me. Everyone makes mistakes. He's made plenty. I can name them if you'd like.” he told me.   
“He would disagree.”  
“Yeah well, he didn't exactly do right by you did he. Look, Ni, you're my little brother and I love you. You're funny and sweet and caring and you're talented. You're a much better lad then I am that's for sure. If dad knew what I'd been doing lately, he wouldn't be half as upset with you as he is. Bloody surprised ma hasn't told him. She's quite upset with me right now.” He chuckled.  
“What's going on Greg?” I asked. I couldn't imagine my brother ever doing anything wrong.  
“Just Uni stuff. No thin for you to worry about.” he said.  
“Greg.”  
“Ughh. Fine. Look, I got into some trouble. I've been doing pretty poorly in my classes and then I got caught with the answers to an exam. They've threatened to kick me out. It's just... Niall it's hard being at Uni. It's hard being away from family. I know you understand that right? I mean, you deal with it everyday. And the hardest part, Ni, is that everyone knows you're my little brother. And that's not your fault. But it's awful listening to the other lads in class talk about how stupid One Direction is and what a shit singer you are because I can't do much to defend you. All I want to do is pound them into the wall whenever they talk about you that way but I'm already on thin ice. Last semester I did. I sent two lads to the hospital for talking about you and Harry. And I wouldn't mind getting kicked out because of that, for defending my little brother. But ma would kill me and pop would too.” My heart ached for him. I couldn't imagine being in his position. Even when we were young, everyone always loved Greg. All my school mates, all the girls. No one would ever say a bad thing about him, and if they did, i'd have fought them in a heartbeat.  
“Greg.... I'm sorry. I'm sure that this doesn't help your situation.” I said apologetically. “Maybe if i'd just wanted to play football like pop wanted me to...”  
“No Nialler. Do not apologise. I'm so proud of you and I never miss an opportunity to tell everyone how amazing I think ya are. Maybe I can't beat them all up for you, but I can let them know that I'm not ashamed of you like they think I should be. I just... I miss ya Ni.” he told me.   
“I miss you too, Greg. I wish you were here. You always knew how to make me feel better.” I said.  
“What about the lads? You've got them.”  
“Um, well, Liam and Zayn aren't really speaking to me at the moment and I don't really wanna be a burdon on Harry and Louis. They've, uh, got a lot goin on lately.” I explained.  
“Oh Ni.... They'll all come around. And I'm sure Lou and Harry don't mind. They love you.” He said, trying to sound comforting.  
“Greg you don't get it. It's different. Everything is different.”  
“Look, Ni, I hate to do this, but I've got to get to class. But I've got a break coming up. Two weeks, in fact. Starts on Monday. Why don't I come down there and stay with ya. We can hang out and play FIFA and just do what we used to do.” he offered.  
“Really? Would you?”   
“Of course. I told you I miss you. I need some little bro time.” he laughed.   
“That sounds great. Thanks Greg. For everything. Now get to class so ya don't get kicked out.” I chuckled.  
“love you Nialler. I'll text you on Monday when I get close.”  
“Love you too Greg. See ya in a few days.” With that, I hung up, feeling a little bit better. It had been ages since I'd seen Greg. I missed him so much. I missed my whole family.   
“Hey mate. You hungry?” I heard Louis ask from my doorway, startling me. I looked up at him, he was holding a tray of food and smiling at me, and nodded. He made his way over, setting the tray down in my lap and sitting down next to me. “Who was that you were talking to?” he asked as I stuck a piece of bacon in my mouth.  
“Greg.” I answered around my mouthful. He wrinkled his nose at me and picked up my pillow, hitting me in the face with it.  
“Ew Nialler! Don't talk with your mouth full.” he laughed, continuing to smack me with the pillow careful so as not to knock over my food. I giggled and pushed him off of me and he slipped off the bed, falling to the floor. Pouting up at me, he picked himself up and sat back down in his previous spot, before rolling his eyes. “What did Greg want?”   
“I called him, actually. Just wanted to talk.” I said.  
“I heard your conversation with your dad.” he said matter of factly. I stared over at him, confused. “I came up here to see if you were awake and call you down for breakfast but you were on the phone with him so I left, but not before I heard what you were saying.” he explained, nicking a piece of sausage from my plate. Usually I would freak out over someone stealing my food, but I just didn't have the energy to argue with him.  
“Right, well...”  
“Look whatever he said, he's probably wrong.”  
“He's not. I'm a disappointment. Not just to him, but to everyone. I disappointed my family, I disappointed Stella. And I disappointed you lads.”  
“No you didn't.” he snapped. “I'm sorry. Um, look, you know we all know how it is. We've all made mistakes OK. Think about all the stupid shit that I’ve done. And Harry and Zayn. Really Liam's the only one of us who hasn't really messed up, but his time is coming. I mean, Zayn got caught on camera cheating on his girlfriend. I can't keep my mouth shut to save my life. And Harry says stupid inappropriate things without thinking. And now you get into fights with Paparazzi. No big thing mate. Yes, Simon will be mad, but you aren't going to get kicked out of the band. And Stella will forgive you. You'll see.” he said, wrapping an arm around me and squeezing me to him tightly.  
“What about Liam and Zayn?”  
“They'll come around. Liam especially. He's been going through a lot lately, but he loves you. And so does Zayn. We all do. It'll be fine. We're brothers, Ni. Family. And nothing will ever come between that. Nothing.”  
“He's right you know.” We both looked up to find Harry standing in front of my bed. He came around and sat on my other side, taking my hand in his and letting me rest my head on his shoulder, his resting right on top of it. “Nothing is going to tear us apart Ni. I promise.”

Stella's POV  
Olly and I spent 3 hours talking. I told him everything, my feelings for Niall, his refusal to tell me about my accident, and everything that I had remembered so far. He wasn't lying when he said that he was a good listener. He didn't judge me or try to argue, just stayed quiet and listened intently. It was nice. Much different then talking to Louis. Louis always had an opinion on everything, always had advice for every situation, and while I usually appreciated that, sometimes I just wanted someone to shut the fuck up and let me talk.   
“So that's really it. I'm not speaking to him anymore. I thought that things were different and I was wrong. Now I just feel phenomenally stupid.” I finished my story. He bit his lip, processing everything I had just told him before he spoke.  
“I don't think you're stupid. I think he really does care about you. But I think you need to do what's best for you right now. You've been through a lot, it sounds like, and maybe you just need to take some space from him. I don't think you should stop talking to him forever, because what would that do to your friendships with the lads? But I think that maybe its best if you don't see each other for a while. You'll be able to either move on, or at least deal with your feelings. If he cares about you that much he'll let you go and understand.” he told me. I nodded, agreeing with him. There's absolutely no way I could cut him out of my life completely, he means too much to me. But I can't be around him right now. It hurts too much to know that he's with someone else.  
“Yeah, yeah I guess you're right. He's always going to be so important to me. Always. But I just.... I mean, I thought he felt the same, and then I find out that he's dating someone, you know?” I told him.  
“He's not dating Amy. Not as far as I know. They're mates, that's for sure, but they've always been like that. Sounds like you and Zayn were the same way.” he explained.   
“I guess I didn't really think of it like that.” I said, sighing heavily. “I don't know Olly, I just... I just want things to be simple, you know. Everything in the last few months has been so complicated and I just want to not have to worry about anything. I want to remember everything and for all of the broken pieces to be fixed.”   
“They will be. You just have to give it time.” he said reassuringly. He looked down at his watch and jumped down from his spot on the counter. “Look, I've got an interview, but if you'd like, maybe we could have dinner together tonight?” he asked.   
“Um.... you mean like... Like a date?” He bit his lip, nodding. “I... I don't know Olly.”  
“Look, I know that it's bloody stupid of me to ask you like this after everything you've told me, so it's up to you. We can call it a date, or it can just be two new friend getting to know each other over dinner. Just... I'll text you after my interview and you can let me know what you think.” he said.   
“No, you know what, let's do it. Let's go out on a date. What harm could it do.” I said with a smile.   
“Excellent. Um, well, you can hang out here, if you'd like.”   
“Actually, I think I’m going to call Zayn. Liam sent me a text saying that the two of them were coming home today and I should probably go talk to them.” I told him. Olly nodded, before pulling me into a hug. “Thanks for everything Olly. Really, this means a lot to me.”  
“Anytime Stella. Anytime.”

Niall's POV  
Things hadn't been so bad throughout the day after I'd had the chance to talk to Greg. At least, not until I decided to flip on the TV. Then I saw my face everywhere. I tried to get away from it, to find something else to watch, but it's like all anyone wanted to talk about was what happened.  
“...Niall Horan, only Irish member of One Direction went into a drunken rage last night and....”  
“....'He was out of control, screaming and yelling and cussing up a storm. A real piece of work....'”  
“......and we all thought he was the sweet one. Just shows what fame'll do to you....”  
I screamed as I threw the remote in the direction of the telly. They didn't even have it right at all! I wasn't drunk and It wasn't that bad. Sure, I assaulted that guy, but I wasn't out of control. I was just upset.   
“Nialler are you alright?” Harry asked, running into the lounge from the kitchen. “I heard you screaming, what happened?”  
“Nothing. Nothing. I'm... Haz I'm tired, I'm just gonna go to my room and take a nap for a bit.” I lied.  
“Alright. Well, you know, just let me know if you need anything. Oh and Simon called, he wants us back in London tomorrow. Had to move up the meeting because of some X-Factor US stuff, I guess. We'll leave first thing in the morning, that alright?” I rolled my eyes, like I even had a choice in the matter.  
“Yeah. 's fine.” I said, making my way up the stairs and into my room, locking the door and throwing myself on the bed. I laid there for a minute, just letting all the feelings sink in before I heard my phone buzz beside my head. I pulled it out from under my pillow and checked the notification. It was a twitter update from Zayn.  
“@ZaynMalik: Sorry about everything that's going on guys! Some people just can't control themselves.” My heart stopped. How could he do that to me? I knew he was mad at me, but to call me out like that to all of our fans...... It hurt. I made up my mind quickly after that. I'd been suppressing the urge all day and I just couldn't stand it anymore. I pushed myself up off the bed and headed into the bathroom, grabbing my pocket knife along the way. Sitting down in the tub, I opened up my twitter app and composed a new tweet.  
“@NiallOfficial: Sometimes, in life, you lose control and there's no way to find it again. I'm sorry everyone.” I set the phone down on the edge of the tub and opened up the knife. The blade was sharp so I knew I needed to at least be a little bit careful. The goal was to cause pain, not to seriously kill myself. I just needed a release. I pressed the cool metal to my wrist and pressed down just enough to break the skin, slicing a shallow line across my pale wrist. The blood trickled out and down my arm, hitting the white marble of the bathtub, and I watched it go, focusing on the pain. I repeated the process four more times before closing the blade and burying my face in my knees. The pain was all I could think about, the sharp edge of the blade and the way it cut into my skin. It was the only thing I could feel and it felt good. A sense of relief washed over me and I felt numb to the world. I sat there, in the bathtub for a long while before I heard a knock on my bedroom door.  
“Niall! Niall what are you doing? Are you alright in there?” It was Harry. I jumped up, startled out of my focus and ran out of the bathroom, burying the knife in my suitcase.  
“Just a minute.” I called out towards the door as I dug around, searching for anything long sleeved. I finally found a purple Jack Wills hoodie that I had borrowed from Harry last year and pulled it over my head, slipping my arms through the sleeves carefully so that I wouldn't agitate the cuts any more than they were already. Finally, after taking a few calming breaths, I opened the door to find him standing there, eyes wide with fear, running his hands through his hair nervously.  
“What were you doing?” he asked.  
“Taking a piss.” I lied. Usually I was a shit liar, but his face softened immediately at my answer.  
“Oh, OK. I was just making sure you were alright. I saw Zayn's tweet and then I saw yours and I was worried. Are you OK?” He asked.  
“Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. I was upset about it at first, but you know, you and Lou were right, he'll come around.” I said, shoving my hands deep in the pocket of my hoodie.  
“OK. Good. Alright well.... Um I'm going to head out. Going to lunch with Gemma. Lou's in our room napping if you need him and I shouldn't be gone too long.” He told me.  
“Yeah OK. Have fun.” I replied, forcing a smile.   
“Yeah, I'll see you in a bit.” he said, turning around and heading for the stairs. “Oh and Ni.” he stopped and turned to me and my heart rate sped up. He could see right through my lies. Of course he could. Harry knew me better than anyone. And he was going to call me out right here in the hall. “I want that hoodie back.” I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and laughed.  
“Yeah. Yeah sure.”


	26. First Dates, Second Chances and the Third Degree

Stella’s POV  
“Stella!” I heard Liam and Zayn both yell at the same time as I walked into the small Chinese restaurant. After Olly and I had left his apartment I’d called Zayn to meet up. I really wanted to talk to both of them and find out what had happened after I had gone home. I looked up and saw them both, dressed in black hoodies with the hoods up and dark sunglasses, obviously trying (but seriously failing) to keep from being noticed.  
“Guys shhh.” I laughed as I slid into the bench seat across from them. “You know you guys would make terrible spies.” Zayn laughed but Liam glared at me, pushing his lower lip out in an adorable pout. “Oh stop Liam. You know it’s true.” I told him, reaching across the table and poking his bottom lip.   
“I’m make a bloody amazing spy.” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Zayn rolled his eyes and slipped an arm around Liam’s shoulders, hugging Liam to his side gently.  
“Don’t frown, Li. You’ll get wrinkles.” he cooed.  
“Um... OK anyways. So how was the rest of the night?” I asked them, changing the subject. Something about the way they were so close struck me as a little bit odd. I know that all the boys are incredibly affectionate with each other, but they were starting to remind me of Lou and Harry.  
“Not too good, love.” Liam told me, his frown deepening even more at the thought. He reached up and started tearing off pieces of his napkin. I could tell he felt bad about something. Whenever Liam feels guilty or uncomfortable he can’t stop fidgeting or touching things.  
“What happened Li?” I asked curiously.   
“I..... I feel awful. I was so mean to him. Zayn you were too, mate.” he blurted. Zayn sighed heavily and I looked up at him.  
“Care to explain?” I asked.  
“Look, after you lot left the club, well, you were gone for a while and we all started to get a little worried so we left to and went back to the bungalow. None of us were really having any fun without you and Ed and Olly both had interviews early this morning anyway so we left. As we were heading back, Perrie got some sort of notification on her phone about us. We thought maybe someone had spotted us out or something like that but when she pulled up the video it was of you and Niall fighting. We couldn’t really hear anything because it didn’t seem like the paparazzi were that close to you at that point but then you walked away and they go closer and started talking to Niall and..... Well, why don’t you just look.” He pulled his iPhone out of his hoodie pocket and handed it to me. I pushed play on the video and saw the familiar scene of Niall and I, standing in the street arguing and then me walking away. After that there was some yelling before Niall grabbed the man in the video and slammed him up against the wall.  
““You have no fucking clue what the hell your talking about, you worthless piece of shit. Leave her alone and leave me alone. Fucking stay out of my life.”” My jaw dropped as I watched. Niall, my Niall, would never do something like that. He would never hurt someone like that.  
“Needless to say we were all a little angry with him. When we made it back to the bungalow, he was sitting on the couch crying. Obviously he felt bad, whether for making a fool out of himself or for hurting you, I’m not entirely sure. And... well.....”  
“Well what Zayn? What happened?”   
“Um, I kind of lost it on him.” He said sheepishly.  
“ZAYN!”  
“Look, Stella, he risked a lot doing that. He put himself at risk of being kicked out of the band and he put our reputation as a band in jeopardy too...” he started but I stopped him.  
“So, because he got angry that some guy was harassing him, was harassing US, and slammed him up against a wall means you can treat him like dirt, Zayn? What did you say to him?” I snapped. He bit his lip, looking at his hands before he looked back up at me nervously.   
“I just kind of screamed at him. I told him he was an idiot and he needed to think before he did things, you know, consider the consequences of his actions. And you know what, Stella, I’m right. He does. He IS an idiot.”  
“Zayn! He's your best friend.”  
“So you're defending him then?” He asked.  
“No I..... I don't know Zayn. I just... I mean he was obviously upset and..”  
“Look, Stella, I already know what happened between you two that night. He explained it all and I STILL think he's an idiot.” he told me. I sighed as the waiter walked over to us, interruption our conversation to take our order.  
“Can I just have some coffee please? I'm not really hungry.” I murmured to him.   
“Uh, Zayn....” Liam started nervously, staring down at his phone after he finished ordering his food.  
“What's up?”  
“When was the last time you checked your twitter?” Liam asked him. I pulled out my phone when I saw the look on Liam's face. He looked terrified.  
“Um, I don't know, I tweeted something a little bit ago before we came here. Why?” Zayn asked. Liam thrust his phone in Zayn's face right as I saw the tweets.  
“@ZaynMalik: Sorry about everything that's going on guys! Some people just can't control themselves.”  
“@NiallOfficial: Sometimes, in life, you lose control and there's no way to find it again. I'm sorry everyone.”  
“What the fuck? I.... Oh my god I didn't even think he..... Shit.” Zayn stuttered.  
“This is awful. I feel horrible. I... Zayn you didn't here what happened between him and me. I'm sure I made him feel just as horrible. I didn't even yell at him I just.... I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. I blamed everything on him. It's not his fault. We've all been stressed lately. We've all been going through a lot. You know Louis' sisters and your accident, Stell. And I've been so frustrated about this whole situation with Danielle and I took it out on him. I left my best mate crying on the floor like it didn't mean anything. I'm such an awful person...”  
“Liam! Liam stop OK. Just stop. Look we'll make it up to him somehow. We'll talk to him. It'll be fine. They're coming back tomorrow right?” Zayn said, pulling Liam into his arms and hugging him tightly. Liam nodded, wiping tears from his eyes. “We'll see him before the meeting and we'll talk to him. It'll all be OK I promise.”  
“Stella.” Liam started before clearing the roughness from his throat. “Um Stel, you should talk to him. You guys should work this out. He cares about you.”  
“I will. But only because I don't want us to be fighting anymore. But I really think that he and I should take some space from each other. You know, like put our friendship on hold for a while. I'm too stressed out and so is he and it's not going to help my recovery. And Olly thinks that...”  
“Olly?” Zayn asked, cocking an eyebrow at me curiously.  
“Yes Olly. Olly thinks that it'll be better for our friendship if we just, you know, take a break and don't talk for a while. And I agree. I think it'll give both of us time to clear our heads and think about things and get over... um, feelings, and then we can start again and be friends.” I explained.   
“Since when do you go to Olly for advice?” Liam asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.  
“Did either of you hear a word I just said or did I lose you as soon as you heard me say his name?” I asked.  
“Oh no we heard you.” Zayn answered.  
“We'd love to know all about what ELSE Olly said to you.” Liam teased.  
“Shut up. I hate you. Don't talk to me anymore.” I mumbled as I took a sip of my coffee, trying to hide my face in the cup.   
“I thought you liked Niall?” Zayn asked.   
“I do. I really do. I mean, I don't even know if LIKE is the right word for how I feel about Niall. That's why this hurts so much. But, I mean, Olly's sweet and it's not like anything is ever going to happen between me and Niall, so why not allow myself to have a little crush on Olly.” I explained.  
“But Stella, Niall....”  
“That's great Stel.” Zayn said cutting Liam off. I looked back and forth between them as they exchanged odd glances before turning back to look at me, Liam looking a little confused and Zayn smiling. “But just be careful OK. Olly's older than you and, yeah he's sweet and fun and really great, but he's got a bit of a reputation, so don't get too into it. It's OK to crush on him but don't let yourself get hurt.”  
“I won't Zayn. I promise.” 

Niall's POV  
“Hey Nialler?” Harry called from the kitchen. I pushed myself up off of the couch, wincing as pain shot through my wrist at the pressure, and headed into the kitchen where he was preparing dinner.  
“Yeah Haz?” I asked. Louis looked up at me from his spot at the table and smiled. Harry turned around from the stove and smiled at me as well. It felt a little bit like I was having a conversation with my parents.  
“Lou and I have been thinking...” Harry started.  
“We've talked to the other lads as well.” Louis added. Harry nodded before continuing where he left off.  
“Yes, actually this was Liam's idea. He called after he and Zayn had lunch with Stella today. We're going to leave for London tonight. Right after dinner in fact.” he told me.   
“Really? Liam and Zayn are alright with that?” I asked.  
“Yes, well, they both want to talk to you and Liam suggested that if we left early enough we could get back in time to have a lads night. You know, like we used to. Does that sound good to you, Ni?” Louis asked. I nodded my head, a smile splitting across my face. Maybe things were going to be alright. If Liam and Zayn were willing to talk to me, that means they want to fix things. Maybe, if I give her some time, Stella would want to fix things as well.  
“Excellent. Well then as soon as we're done eating dinner, we'll get packed up and head home. We assumed you'd be OK with it so I've invited everyone round for dinner so we can say goodbye before we leave.” Harry told me. I nodded again. “Oh and Nialler?”  
“Yeah Haz?”  
“Don't hit on my mum.” he warned. I laughed.  
“Can't promise that mate.” He glared at me as Louis laughed at both of us. Before he could say anything there was a knock at the door and Gemma, Anne, and Robin walked in. Just because I knew it would get to Harry, I immediately made my way over to Anne and wrapped her up in a hug, burying my face in her neck.   
“Hi sweetie.” she cooed in my ear, rubbing my back slowly. “How are you doing, love?”  
“Better now.” I told her honestly. Even though I joke about how hot I think she is, and she is really hot, I truly only look at her as a mother figure. Of all the other lad's parents, Anne is the one I've become the closest to. With my own parents being so far away, she's become a surrogate mother to me more than anyone else.   
“Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you.” She said to me.   
“We all know you're a good lad, and that's all that matters, son.” Robin added. I pulled my face away from Anne's neck and smiled up at him.   
“Thanks.” I said. I unwrapped myself from Anne and sat down at the kitchen table as Jay and Mark walked in.  
“Hi loves.” Jay called out to all of us.  
“Niall, can I speak to you in the lounge for a moment?” Mark asked. I nodded skeptically but he just smiled at me and walked into the lounge so I stood up and followed him.  
“Hey bud.” he said as I sat down on the couch next to him.   
“Hey.” I whispered, feeling like I might be in trouble.  
“Have you spoken to your dad?” he asked me. I swallowed thickly and nodded, staring down at my hands as my whole body tensed at the mention of my father. None of the lads or other parents know about my relationship with my dad except for Mark, but that's only because he walked in on my dad yelling at me after I'd been told I didn't make it in X-Factor, right before the judges called us back out and put us in the band. I hadn't known who he was until afterward but ever since then, he's been the person I talk to when I'm having problems with my dad.  
“Not good, huh?” he asked. I shook my head in response, not trusting my voice. He threw an arm over my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. “Ni, it'll be alright. You know we all love you and we know who you are. If your dad can't see what a wonderful lad you are than it's his own fault. He doesn't deserve to have a son as loving and sweet as you are.” he told me.   
“Thanks.” I whispered.  
“What about your mum? Have you spoken to her?”  
“No. I'm too afraid she'll tell me how disappointed she is in me. She raised me better than that.” I explained.  
“Well I know Anne and Jay both have. Me as well. She wishes you'd call her. She just wants to know you're alright. You should call her after dinner.” he told me. I nodded.  
“Yeah. Yeah I will. I just... My pop's already disappointed enough in me, I can't take it if she says the same thing.” I said.  
“She won't Ni. She won't she's just worried. She loves you and she understands you're stressed. Just call her, alright?”  
“Dad.” Louis said from the doorway. We both looked up at him and he smiled. “Dinner's ready.” he told us. We stood up and made our way towards the kitchen but Louis stopped me before I could go in. “Ni?”  
“Lou?”  
“Do you believe me now when I say everything's going to be alright?” He asked.  
“Yeah, Lou. I do.”

Stella's POV  
“I had a great time tonight Olly.” I said. We were standing in front of the door to Harry and Louis' apartment after our dinner date and I was a little nervous. The date had been really great, but it was weird being out with someone like that. I hadn't been out on a date in... well I don't really remember the last date I went on, but I assume it had been with Conner or something which was a while ago.   
“Good. Good, I'm glad. I had a lovely time as well.” he agreed. He looked down at me with caring eyes and I couldn't help but smile. But then I got a flash of a memory.

“I had a lot of fun tonight Niall.” I said softly. He pulled me into a tight hug.  
“I did too.” He whispered. I looked up into his big blue eyes, hoping that he would lean in and kiss me like I so desperately wanted, but he just let go of me and took a step back. “Well, I should get going, I’m sure the lads are wondering what's taking me so long. I'll see you soon?” I nodded, trying to hide the disappointment in my eyes. “Bye.” He said and then turned and walked towards the stairs.

“Stella? Is everything alright love?” Olly asked. I nodded, but really, I was confused. “Oh Alright. Well, I was thinking maybe we could do this again sometime?” he asked hopefully.  
“Um, I don't know. Maybe?” I said. He smiled knowingly.  
“Yeah um, just.... why don't you just text me and let me know. And if you ever want to talk, you know, you can always call me.” he said. I smiled at him as I pulled out the key for the apartment.  
“Thanks Olly. I will.” I told him, hugging him goodbye before unlocking the door and heading inside. It was quiet, which I had expected, and my suitcase was still sitting by the door where I had left it earlier before I’d had lunch with Zayn and Liam. But there was also two suitcases sitting next to it, which meant that Harry and Louis had decided to come back early. I pulled my phone out and dialed Louis' number.  
“Hello.... Louis Tomlinson's phone, this is his beautiful assistant Hazza the GORGEOUS speaking.” Harry answered. I laughed.  
“Hey, Haz, can I talk to Lou?” I asked.  
“Nope, sorry. Lou's in the bathroom taking a shower. Niall spilled red wine all over him. Did you need something Stel?” he asked me.  
“No I just... I noticed your bags were back.” I said.  
“Oh yeah, we decided to come home tonight. We're at Niall's waiting for Liam and Zayn. I'd invite you but we were just planning on having a lads night and....”  
“No no it's fine. I was just wondering what was going on.” I said. I didn't want to make him feel bad for not asking me to go over. Honestly, I was glad to have the time to myself.  
“Is that Stella?” I heard Niall ask in the background.  
“Uh.... no its.... Niall stop..... Ni...” there was, what sounded like a struggle and then complete silence before....  
“Stella?” His voice was much closer now and I assumed that he'd managed to wrestle the phone away from Harry. “Stella can we talk please?” he asked sadly.  
“Yeah, Niall. Actually I think we should. Give me a minute to change and I'll be over.” I told him.  
“OK.” he whispered before hanging up. I made my way into my room and changed into a pair of sweats and one of Harry's Jack Wills hoodies before heading out the door. I knocked quietly on the door to Niall's apartment and it only took a second for him to open it.  
“Hi.” he said, biting his lip. “Do you, uh, want to come inside?” I nodded and followed him through he apartment, up the stairs and into his bedroom.  
“So..... Look, I'm really sorry for freaking out on you like that. I don't want to cut you out of my life forever you know. But I do think that we should, like, not talk for a while. Give each other some space.” I explained. He looked like he wanted to argue, but then sighed in defeat.  
“Yeah. Maybe you're right. But will you at least let me explain everything? Please Stella?” he begged. I shook my head.  
“No, Ni, I don't think that's a good idea. Not yet at least. We need to do this. We need to be apart for a while and if I let you explain you're just going to be giving me reason's not to let this happen. It'll be good for both of us. Maybe it'll help me calm down and remember everything.” I told him. He sighed again and looked down at his hands sadly.  
“I really don't want to do this, but I'll do anything to make you happy. And if us ending out friendship is what's going to make you happy, then I guess I don't have a choice do I?” He said.  
“This isn't the end. Not forever at least. Just, you know, for a few weeks until we both can get our heads straight. I love you Ni, and you're my best friend, but......”  
“Is this about Olly?” He asked out of nowhere.  
“What?”  
“Olly. Is this about him? Do you like him?” he asked again.  
“Um....” I started, not sure how to answer that question.   
“Answer me Stella.” he growled. I was surprised by the sudden turn in his mood until I saw his phone in his hands, open to a web page with a picture of me and Olly leaving the restaurant we had gone to. “Did he tell you to do this?”  
“NO! Of course not. Well, I mean, he agreed with me the we should but it was my idea....”  
“Seriously! This is what it's all about now! Am I just that disposable to you that you end our friendship, a friendship that means the world to me, Stella, over some guy you JUST MET!” He yelled.  
“No Niall it's not like that! I promise. Yes I kind of like him a little but he's not the reason I'm doing this.” I told him.   
“I can't believe you. I thought that I meant something to you.” He pushed himself up off of the bed and made his way towards the door. I jumped up and grabbed him by the hand to turn him around and make him face me again.  
“Niall, please! Please stop. Just forget it. Forget I said any of this, just please don't think that he means more to me than you do.” I pleaded, but he ripped his hand out of mine.  
“No. You know, for the longest time I’ve sat by while you put everyone else in front of me. Everyone who didn't deserve it. But I'm done being second best. I'm done watching a million other people hurt you and being there when you need a shoulder to cry on. I've loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you Stella! No one will ever love you more than I do and time and time again you've shown me that you don't feel the same way. So you know what, I'm done. I'm done with you. I'm done with Olly. I'm done with everything. I hope you're fucking happy.” He growled before stomping out the door and out of my life.


	27. Let Me Be Your Last First Kiss

Niall’s POV  
It was 3am when i heard the doorbell ring. I honestly couldn’t imagine who would be coming to my flat at 3 in the morning. Maybe it was some crazy fans or something. I groaned as I pushed myself out of bed and threw on some sweats, not really wanting some random 15 year old girls to see me in my briefs. I made my way downstairs carefully, it was quite dark and I didn’t really fancy falling, and headed through the lounge towards the front door, opening it slowly. Bracing myself for screaming girls, what I actually found in the hall surprised me a little. Stella was standing right in front of me, eyes rimmed red and cheeks puffy like she had been crying. She was dressed in sweats and one of my old hoodies, the blue one I had given her that night out on the beach, and her hair was up in a messy bun. She looked miserable. I reached up and rubbed my eyes for a second to make sure that I wasn’t just imagining her standing there. It had been two weeks since our fight, two weeks since I had told her I was done. We hadn’t seen each other aside from passing each other in the hall occasionally, but that had only been twice and we had completely ignored each other. Even though it was me who wanted to ended our friendship, it still hurt like hell to see her, or even hear her name. The boys had all respected the fact that I didn’t want to talk about her, but I still heard them talking when they thought I wasn’t around. But now here she was, standing in my doorway in tears and I knew I wasn’t going to turn her away. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was wrong. I had known this day was coming for a while and it had bothered me that I wouldn't be able to be there for her when it came. Her mum’s birthday. The first one to pass since she had been gone.   
She looked up at me with those big green eyes full of tears and I immediately pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, shutting the door behind her and practically carrying her into the kitchen. My fingers traced the outline of her spine as I rocked us back and forth, trying to calm her down enough to speak.   
“Tea?” I asked softly, pulling back just enough to see her face. She nodded slowly and untangled herself from my arms, making her way over to the counter and hopping up onto it, pulling her knees up to her chest so that her feet rested right on the edge and wrapping her arms around herself tightly. Under normal circumstances, I would be pretty grossed out about someones feet on my kitchen counter, but even after the blow out we had, I would do anything for her. Plus, it was nothing a little lysol couldn’t fix. I set about the kitchen to make her her favorite tea, she’d always said that I was the only person aside from her mum who could make it properly. It didn’t take long, thank God, and once it was done I poured it into her favorite mug, the one with the Abbey Road cover on it that she always used when she came over, and handed it to her. “It’s hot, be careful.” I told her softly and she nodded, holding the cup in her hands and attempting to smile at me.  
“Thanks.” she whispered, trying to force herself to smile at me. I pulled myself up onto the counter next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She leaned into the touch immediately, resting her head against mine as she drank her tea in silence. Once she finished, I hopped down and set the cup in the sink before holding out my hand to her.  
“Come on.” I said softly, urging her off of the counter. She slid down slowly, taking my hand and I led her up the stairs into my bedroom. It made me sad to think that the last time we had been in her together we were fighting and I could tell she felt awkward about it too. I climbed into bed, pulling back the covers and opening my arms to her so she would follow my lead. She hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to decide if it was a good idea or not, but ended up crawling in next to me. Pulling the covers up over us, i wrapped my arms around her. She cuddled up into my side, burying her face in my neck, her nose cold against my skin, and threw her arm over my stomach. We stayed silent for a while and I was starting to think that maybe she had fallen asleep, but then after about 20 minutes she spoke.  
“I’m sorry for waking you up.” She said softly. I chuckled a little bit, it’s so like her to be worried about something like that at a time like this.   
“That’s the least of my concerns, Stell. I wasn’t really asleep anyway.” I assured her.  
“Still. I know it’s late and you all have to be at the studio early tomorrow.” she whispered.  
“I’m not going.” I told her. She looked up at me, confused. “I don’t need to. We’re not recording any of my parts and I could use some sleep. I was just going to stay home all day and nap.” She nodded showing me she understood. “Are you alright?” I asked after a few minutes, even though I knew what her answer would be.  
“Not really.”  
“Do you want to talk about it?” I wasn’t sure she would want to, but I figured it was worth a shot.  
“I just...... I just miss her, you know. It’s hard to imagine that this time last year she was here. Granted, she was really sick, but she was still here. And now she’s gone. And I really need her right now.” I felt her start to shake against me and I could tell that she was about to start crying again, so I pulled her in even closer and kissed her forehead.   
“I wish I could say that I understand. Well, I mean.... I guess that’s not really right, but I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.” I said honestly. She nodded against my chest.  
“I tried talking to Louis about it.” Her voice was rough and cracking as she spoke and my heart broke for her. “I figured if anyone would understand it would be him, right? But it didn’t help at all. We were both upset and I felt bad for bringing it up and making him sad. I just.... I don’t know, Ni, I just want someone to tell me that everything is going to be ok. I want her to be here. I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my life. Everything is shit right now and I want her here with me.” She sobbed into my chest, cutting herself off. It was awful, hearing her cry like that when I knew there was nothing I could do to make it better. “I’m sorry. I know that I probably shouldn’t have come here but it’s just.... You’re the only person who knows the whole story. No one else knows what happened because you’re the only person I’ve ever felt comfortable talking about it with. They all know she’s gone, but they don’t know what happened, or how hard it was. They don’t know how much it tore me apart to watch her go through that. I’m so sorry.”  
“Stella it’s alright. I’m glad you came to me. I know that things are fucked up now but I’m always here for you when you need me. You know that. Don’t ever forget it.” I promised her. She nodded, finally calming down a little. “Let’s try to get some sleep alright?”  
“Promise you won’t leave me.” She whispered.  
“I’m not going anywhere. Promise.” I raised my hand, holding out my pinky to her and for the first time, she actually smiled as she linked hers with mine before resting her head on my chest.  
“Goodnight, Niall.” She said softly.  
“Night Stella. Sweet dreams love.” I whispered back. I waited a while until I heard her breathing even out and I knew she was asleep before I finally let myself drift off into the most peaceful sleep I’d gotten in weeks.

 

Louis’ POV  
I woke up around 8 in the morning to the sound of Harry’s alarm going off. I groaned, reaching out and smacking it off of the nightstand, before wrapping my arm back around my curly haired boyfriend. He was cuddled up practically on top of me, like he usually was when we woke up, his curls tickling my nose. I sighed softly, knowing that no matter how much I wanted to spend the whole day in bed, I needed to get up.   
“Haz. Wake up love.” I cooed in his ear, shifting him to the side gently.  
“Nooooooooo.” He groaned, clinging to me even tighter.   
“Seriously, Haz we have to get up. We have to be at the studio at half nine and we both need to shower.” I told him, shoving him a little harder. He’s such a pain to wake up in the morning sometimes. He looked up at me, pouting.  
“Shower together?” He asked, staring at me with wide eyes. I sighed again, rolling my eyes.  
“Haaaaaaz. I need to go check on Stella.” I said. He pushed his bottom lip out even further, a hurt look taking over his features.  
“You don’t want to shower with me.” he asked sadly. I hugged him to my chest tightly, feeling bad for hurting his feelings.  
“No no, I do. You know I do..... Why don’t you go get it started and I’ll be in after I check on Stella.” I tried to reason with him. He shook his head.  
“Shower with me now. Please Lou.....” He whined. I bit my lip, feeling myself give in to his demands. There is no way I can say no to that face.  
“Ok, ok. Let’s go. But no funny business, ok.” I finally said. His face instantly brightened as he hopped out of bed and sped off into the bathroom. That little shit. He conned me! I slid out of bed and followed his path into the bathroom to find him already naked and inside the shower. I took a minute to admire him before removing my own clothes. He really was beautiful. I still can’t figure out how I ended up with him. He’s all long limbs and pale skin, it’s truly breathtaking. He must have felt my eyes on him, because he turned around to face me, startling me out of my thoughts and shot me a cheeky smile.  
“Are you planning on joining me Mr. Tomlinson?” He purred and I felt my briefs getting tighter. Crap. I pulled them off quickly along with my shirt and yanked open the glass door, stepping inside. We kissed for a few minutes, but that’s as far as it got, despite his pleading and trying to touch me. I reminded him that we had a schedule to keep and he huffed, pouting at me again but gave in because he knew that I was right. “At least let me wash you.” He asked, and I agreed because why not? At least I could let him get something out of it. 20 minutes later we were both clean and searching through the closet for clothes to wear. I grabbed his Ramones shirt before he could get to it and pulled it over my head while he whined about never getting to wear it anymore, even though we both knew that he loved it when I did. Then I pulled on a pair of tight red skinny jeans and slipped my feet into my black toms before making my way out of the bedroom.   
“I’m going to go check on Stella, ok?” I called out behind me and heard him grunt in response. I pushed open the door to her room, expecting to find her still asleep, knowing that it was going to be a rough day for her, but i found her bed empty. Panic bubbled up in my stomach at the sight. I knew she had been there last night, I’d laid in bed with her for two hours before going to bed myself. So I couldn’t figure out where the hell she could have gone. “Harry!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, absolutely freaking out. He came running into the room only seconds later, eyes wide.  
“What boo? What’s wrong?” He asked, clearly a little freaked out.  
“You what time did you go to bed last night?” He thought for a moment as he looked around the room, noticing Stella’s absence.  
“Round two I suppose. She hadn’t left or anything before I did. I checked on her before I came into our room and she was watching a film.” He explained, sounding scared. I grabbed his hand and pulled him from the room, out of our flat and over towards Zayn’s door. Harry knocked frantically and when zayn finally answered, he looked livid.  
“What!” He snapped.  
“Is Stella here?” He shook his head, confused.  
“No, haven’t seen her since yesterday. Why?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. He had to have just woken up.  
“Can’t find her. She’s missing. Can you go check with Liam while we go check Niall’s?” Harry explained. Zayn nodded, slipping his feet into his boots and making his way towards Liam’s flat as Harry and I headed down the hall to Niall’s.  
“I doubt she’s here, Haz. They’re fighting remember?” I told him as we knocked on the door. No one answered.  
“Dammit. What if something happened to both of them?” Harry cried, pounding on the door even harder. I ran back to our flat and grabbed the spare set of keys that Niall had given Harry a long time ago, before heading back over and unlocking the door. We ran through the flat, up the stairs and towards Niall’s bedroom, pushing the door open quickly, causing it to slam against the wall. Niall shot up into a seated position in his bed and so did Stella.  
“What the fuck, mate! We’re trying to sleep here.” He growled sleepily, but I ignored him, pouncing on the bed and wrapping a sleepy Stella up in a tight hug.  
“Stella you’re alright!” I breathed a sigh of relief, burying my face in her neck.  
“We were so worried. You should have left a note or something!” Harry yelled at her.  
“I’m sorry Haz...” she started but Niall cut her off.  
“Harry stop. Leave her alone. She’s perfectly alright.” He snapped.  
“Still, we were concerned. We thought something had happened to her. She could have been anywhere and we wouldn’t have known. You should have texted and said...”  
“Haz. Pumpkin, leave it alone, please?” I begged, pulling away from Stella. “She’s ok. That’s all that matters.” He continued to glare at Niall for a minute before turning to Stella, at which point his eyes softened and he sat down on the edge of the bed.  
“Sorry. I was just scared. I thought something had happened to you again.” He admitted.   
“‘s alright.” Stella said softly.  
“Sorry mate.” Harry said to Niall, who nodded.  
“Don’t worry about it. I would have reacted much worse than that, so I can’t really say anything.” Niall said with a shrug.  
“Why aren’t you up and getting dressed?” I asked. “We’re to be at the studio soon.”  
“I already told Liam I’m not going. Not recording any of my parts until next week anyway. I could use the sleep, Lou.” He explained. Beside me, Stella had already laid back down and I could tell that both of them were tired. Niall hadn’t been sleeping well at all since Stella’s accident and the problem had only gotten worse since their fight two weeks ago. The same was true for Stella.  
“Alright, well, I guess you two get back to sleep then. Want us to wake you up when we get back for dinner or something?” I asked, but Niall shook his head.   
“If we’re already awake I’ll phone. Otherwise, just let us sleep.” I nodded in agreement and hugged Stella one more time.  
“Phone if you need anything, love.” I whispered before making my way towards the door and leaving them be.

 

Stella’s POV  
I sighed as Louis and Harry left the room. I hadn’t even thought about leaving a note last night, I just wanted to get out and be with Niall. He was the only person that made me feel better at all, even though we were fighting. Or were we still fighting? I wasn’t so sure.   
“Niall?” I said softly as he laid back down beside me, pulling me back into his arms and hugging me tightly. He hummed in response so I continued. “I’m really sorry about what happened between us.”   
“It’s fine.” Was all he said, but I knew it wasn’t. I knew I needed to get this all off my chest. We needed to talk about it and he wouldn’t turn me away today of all days. This was my only chance.  
“It’s not fine. I shouldn’t have let Olly influence me like that. I mean, I made the decision, but he convinced me that it was the right one. I don’t think he did it to hurt you, but he did. And I shouldn’t have let him. So I’m sorry.” I explained. I felt him sigh heavily and shake his head.  
“I don’t know if I can forgive you for that.” he said honestly.  
“I understand. It was stupid of me.” I pushed myself up so that I was seated and looked down at him. “I shouldn’t have come here. I’ve only made things worse for us haven’t I. I’ll just...”  
“No.” He reached up and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back down into his side. “You got to talk, so let me now.” I nodded slowly, letting him know that I would listen before he continued. “I think that you need to hear the truth about everything. I wanted to tell you that night in Holmes Chapel. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t let me explain. You assumed that I was toying with you and I wasn’t. You had it all wrong and you ran to Olly, and that hurt more than you could ever imagine. But You need to know that you were wrong about me.”  
“I know. I know I was. I’m sorry.”  
“Stella, when I met you, I was so fucked up. I know you don’t remember, but I was a mess. I tried to hide it from you for a long time because I didn’t want you to think I was a loser, but I’m sure you figured it all out eventually. I thought that you had when you chose Conner over me. So I just pushed my feelings for you askide and pretended that I was ok with being just friends. But then you and Conner broke up. You texted me that night, you know. The night of your accident. You asked me to pick you up and I did. I would have done anything for you the minute you asked and I know that you knew that. I still would, obviously. I took you back to your flat and you and Conner broke up so I took you home with me. And I kept thinking, this is it. She’s finally going to see that I’m the right person for her. But then....” he took a deep breath and I hugged him tightly. “You got upset with me and I couldn’t... I couldn’t figure out why. You left and I went after you and we were fighting. And then you told me you loved me and I kissed you. I thought everything was going to be alright after that Stella. I thought that was it. But then you ran again...”  
“I was scared, Niall.” I said, sitting back up again. He looked up at me confused. “I thought... I don’t know, for weeks I’d been feeling like I wasn’t good enough and I’d just caught my boyfriend cheating on me. And I thought you liked Demi and that’s why you never did anything. But then you were kissing me and I was freaking out. I thought you kissed me because you felt sorry for me and I got scared.”  
“You remember.” He whispered. I nodded slowly.   
“I do. And I’m so sorry that I ever forgot you. I’m so so sorry. I tried so hard to remember you because I knew the whole time you were special to me but I didn’t know why.” I explained. He sat up, turning his body to face me, his blue eyes meeting mine. “Why didn’t you tell me though? I could have remembered sooner. We could have worked it all out if you had just told me.”  
“I wanted to, but I.... Every single day I blamed myself for what happened. I thought if I had just let you go that night you would have been fine and then we would have talked about it later and worked it out like we always do. But I didn’t. I was the reason you stopped in the middle of the street. I was the reason you got hit. Because I stopped you....”  
“Niall you don’t know that. You don’t know that everything would have been fine. A million things could have happened that night. You can’t blame yourself.” I took his hands in mine and squeezed them reassuringly. “That’s why you didn’t want to tell me, isn’t it. Because you thought I would blame you?”  
“I just thought if you knew you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.” he sighed.  
“That’s stupid. I love you. It wasn’t your fault. I could have kept running. I didn’t have to stop. I chose to. It’s my fault.”  
“Stella....” He started but I hushed him, not wanting him to argue. He sighed again, biting his lip. “That night, in Holmes Chapel, I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you everything. But you just, you wouldn’t listen. I tried to explain to you that it wasn’t what you thought but you were so upset and I don’t know why.”  
“I couldn’t understand why the press knew about some girl that you were telling me meant nothing but had no idea who I was.” I told him.  
“It’s because you mean so much to me that they didn’t know. That’s what I was trying to explain. Look, Demi and I, when I thought I didn’t have a chance with you, yeah we talked about dating. But I couldn’t get over you and she was in the same position I was with someone else. So we just became really good friends. When people found out about it, I wanted to set the record straight, but our management companies asked us to just leave it alone. We didn’t have to pretend to date or anything, just not answer questions about it. And Amy, I’ve known her since I was 6. She grew up next door to me. Her mum and my mum are best friends. We’re like family. She’d come into town for a weekend and you were with Louis and Haz at a doctors appointment so I had dinner with her to catch up. She’s a sweet girl, really, but we’re not interested in each other. I didn’t think that people would see and assume we were dating or anything. Neither of them mean anything to me, aside from being close friends, like Perrie, or Cher or Danielle. I tried to tell you that, but you just... you wouldn’t let me.” He leaned back against the head board of his bed, sighing.  
“That doesn’t tell me why you kept me a secret though, Ni.” I prodded.  
“Because i didn’t want you to get hurt. Because I care about you. Because your life was a mess at the time and I didn’t want you to be ripped apart by our fans.” He looked into my eyes and bit his lip, “Because I love you so much.” I leaned into his side, resting my head on his shoulder and sighing.  
“I love you too, Niall. I always have, I was just too scared to tell you.” I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my hair.  
“What about Olly?” He asked softly.  
“I haven’t talked to Olly since our fight. I called him afterwards and told him that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” He smiled down at me softly.  
“You should have told me.”  
“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me. And I thought maybe one of the boys already had.” I said. “So what do we do now?”   
“This.” he whispered and pressed his lips to mine.


	28. Epilogue: Begin Again

Niall's POV  
My hands were shaking. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe that this was about to happen. I had been planning this moment in my head for a few weeks, since Stella and I had FINALLY gotten together. Since the night she told me that she was ready when I was. In all honesty, I could have taken her that minute, but I'm a gentleman and a romantic and I needed it to be special like her. So there we were, in the middle of the night, sitting in my car. She had no clue where we were going and even less of a clue as to what I had planned.  
“Niall will you please tell me where we're headed?” She asked, turning in the passenger seat to face me. We were stopped at a stop light, so I turned to her, an overwhelming sense of deja vu overtaking me. We had been in this position before, the night we met. The night my entire life changed. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face as I took her hand, bringing it to my lips to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles, before tangling our fingers together. I loved the way her small fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between mine.  
“No can do love. Then it wouldn't be a surprise.” I said, shaking my head and turning back to the road laid out in front of me. I caught her glaring out of the corner of my eye as the light turned green and I chuckled. “Don't worry Stella, you'll find out soon enough. But in the meantime, I need you to put on that blindfold that I gave you. I'm pretty sure I asked you to do it about 5 minutes ago and if you don't I’m taking you home.” I chanced a glance at her and saw her push her bottom lip out and flash me the saddest eyes I had ever seen. Seriously, she put Liam's puppy dog pout to shame. I hated when she did that and she knew I couldn't resist her when she did. All I could think about was kissing that cute lip and holding her close until she wasn't upset anymore. But I had to remain strong. I had to resist. It would be worth it in the end to see the look of happiness on her face when she finally saw what I had done for her. “Oh come on! That's not even fair. Do it for me.”  
“Fine.” She huffed and quickly placed the blindfold over her big green eyes, tying it snugly at the back of her head. I tried hard to suppress a laugh, she looked quite goofy like that. “Shut it Horan.” She snapped teasingly, pouting again. We stopped at another red light and I just couldn't help myself. I leaned over quickly and pressed my lips to her pouting ones. A smile overtook her face instantly.  
“Better?” I asked.  
“Much.” she replied. We continued on our drive for another 10 minutes before I pulled my car up to the edge of the beach. It was the same beach we had been at the night we met. It seemed like the perfect place to take our relationship to the next level as it held one of my favorite memories of us together. I closed my eyes for just a second to let the memories overtake me. The way the light of the moon had hit her face as we sat at the edge of the water. The way she had felt in my arms as she told me about her mum. The way she looked as she sang to me by the fire. Yes, this was the perfect place to do this. I opened my eyes again and stepped out of the car, walking quickly around to her side. I turned towards the water before opening her door to make sure everything was set. Harry had come out here about an hour beforehand to set everything up for me.  
“Give me just a moment Stell.” I called through the glass of her window as Harry walked towards me. I stepped off in his direction, not wanting her to hear us talking.  
“Everything's set mate. It looks pretty amazing I have to say.” He told me.  
“Thanks Haz. For everything, seriously. You're my best mate you know that?” I said. He smiled down at me.  
“Nervous?” he asked softly. I heaved a sigh and nodded.  
“Incredibly. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing Haz. I really don't.”  
“Don't worry about it Ni. You two are both on the same page here and you'll figure it our together.” He said. He reached into his pocket and pulled something shiny and squared out. A condom. “Make sure you use this. Don't need any little Irish babies running around now do we.” he said with a laugh. I took it from him, fumbling to put it in my pocket. For some reason, holding it made all of this feel even more real. I shifted nervously on my feet and Harry seemed to notice my discomfort. “Look Ni, I think it's really amazing what you're doing. Losing your virginity is a big deal and so is taking someone elses and you've definitely not taken this lightly. I have a lot of respect for you, mate.”  
“Thanks.” I whispered.  
“Now go get that girl out of the car and get to it!” He hugged me tightly and walked off towards his car, driving away with a little wave. I sighed again, trying to calm the nerves, as I made my way to Stella's door and opened it. I took her hand and helped her out of the car.  
“OK this is going to sound really strange, but take off your shoes.” She cocked her head to the side and I could imagine the adorable look of confusion she probably held in her eyes, but she slipped her feet our of her flip flops and I did the same. I tossed both pairs of shoes back in the car and led her into the sand. She stopped suddenly as she felt the cool sand around her toes and a smile pulled at the corners of her lips.  
“Niall....” she started curiously. I reached my fumbling hands up to untie the blindfold and let it fall to the ground. Her eyes grew wide as she saw the scene laid our before her. “Oh my god.” she breathed. I turned my gaze to follow hers. It looked better than I had pictured in my head. Laid back just far enough out of the waters reach was a blanket surrounded by candles. My guitar rested up in the top right corner and a small picnic basket with a few more blankets stacked on top sat to the left. There was a small fire blazing away in front. It was the perfect spot. She turned to face me, tears in her eyes. “This is perfect Ni.” she whispered. I pulled her close to me, planting a kiss on her forehead.  
“Almost as perfect as you.” I whispered back. We walked down to our spot hand in hand and sat down on the blanket. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and she cuddled into my side. “I love you so much Stella.”  
“I love you to Niall.” she said back. We stared out across the water for a long time, talking, laughing and making smores, before she finally said “Niall, can I ask you something?”  
“Anything.”  
“Why are we here?” I looked down into her eyes. She had to have figured this out by now, did I really need to explain it to her? I pulled away, turning my body to face hers and took her small hands in mine.  
“Stella you are, honestly the most amazing thing in my life do you know that?” She blushed slightly at my words and I could feel the nerves coming back again. It was now or never. I had planned this for so long and had numerous conversations with the boys about this night, but nothing could prepare me for what I was about to do. I reached behind me, taking my guitar and bringing it around into my lap. My fingers found the chords to the song I had running over and over in my head. It wasn't the song I had discussed with the boys. No I had kept this one to myself. Told a little white lie so as to keep this part of the night a complete secret, even from Harry. What the boys didn't know is that this moment, the moment that would lead us to our first time, would start with a question. I looked up into her sparkling green eyes, opened my mouth and let the words flow out.

Forever can never be long enough for me  
To feel like I've had long enough with you  
Forget the world now, we won't let them see  
But there's one thing left to do.

Now that the weight has lifted  
Love has surely shifted my way

I let out a breath as I got to the chorus. Here goes nothing.

Marry Me  
Today and everyday  
Marry Me  
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe  
Say you will  
Say you will

Together can never be close enough for me  
To feel like I am close enough to you  
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you  
And you're beautiful  
Now that the wait is over  
And love has finally showed her my way

Marry Me  
Today and everyday  
Marry Me  
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe  
Say you will  
Say you will

Promise me You'll always be  
Happy by my side  
I promise to sing to you  
When all the music dies  
And marry me  
Today and everyday  
Marry Me  
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe  
Say you will  
Say you will  
Marry me

Her eyes sparkled with tears and her mouth hung open just slightly. I wasn't entirely sure she was breathing, so I set the guitar down and moved closer to her, pulling the small black box I had been carrying around for days out of my pocket and opening it. Her eyes shifted from mine to the small, simple, silver diamond ring in my hand.  
“Stella...” I started but one breathless word stopped me dead in my tracks.  
“Yes.” Tears flooded my eyes as I placed the ring on her finger and pulled her into my arms tightly. We sobbed happily together for what felt like an eternity before she pulled away, tears staining her pink cheeks. She pressed her lips to mine softly. “Niall.” she mumbled into my lips. I only managed a small hmm, not entirely trusting my voice. “I love you” responded.  
“I love you too.” I said. Her lips pressed down harder on mine for just a moment before she pulled back, resting her forehead against mine and staring straight into my eyes.  
“Make love to me Niall” She whispered. She didn't have to tell me twice. I gently pushed her back onto the blanket, my body hovering over her, never breaking from our kiss. My hands groped around for one of the spare blankets and once I found it, I quickly threw it over us. The last thing I needed was for someone to find us lying naked her. Her fingers played with the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head before coming back down to dance in little circles along my back. I pressed my body into hers and she moaned as she felt my stiffness against her thigh. It didn't take long before we were both nearly naked, me in my tight Calvin Klein briefs and her in her lacy red bra and matching panties. I let my eyes wander over her body for a moment and felt her shudder beneath me.  
“Perfect.” I whispered. And she really was. A light blush crept up on her cheeks as she shifted uncomfortable underneath me.  
“I'm not.” she said softly. I pressed my lips to hers again.  
“You are. Absolutely perfect.” I whispered against her lips. She sighed contently and moved her mouth in sync with mine. My hands made their way up the smooth skin of her back, grasping at the clasp of her bra and unhooking it without a problem and tossing it aside. I had to admit, I was slightly impressed with myself, seeing as it was my first time. She tangled her fingers into my hair as my lips made their way down her neck, settling on the soft skin of her collarbone. I sucked gently, letting my teeth graze the skin every once in a while, creating a mark. She moaned softly in my ear as I did and I could feel myself harden even more, something i didn't think was possible. Her hands trailed from my hair down my chest and abs until they reached the waistband of my briefs, pulling them down off of my aching length and placing them with the rest of our clothes, before finding their way back. Her fingers ghosted over the smooth skin and my body trampled. I moaned softly, causing her to smirk at me with pride. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be inside of her. To feel her around me. I quickly rid her of the lace that was separating us and let myself rub up against her. I reached out, groping around for my jeans until I found them, shoving my hand in the pocket and pulling out the condom Harry had slipped me earlier. I ripped the wrapper off and was just about to roll it on when I felt her hand on my wrist, stopping me.  
“Don't.” she said.  
“Stella are you sure? I mean what if.....” I started.  
“Niall, I just want to feel everything. To feel you. Please.” she whispered. I couldn't say no to that. I tossed the condom aside and lined myself up.  
“Are you ready?” I breathed. I knew this would hurt her and the idea of that killed me a little bit inside, but I also knew that the pain wouldn't last very long and that thought kept me going. She nodded nervously at me.  
“Are you ready?” I nodded as well. I'd been ready for weeks. I slowly started to push my length inside of her and she gasped, eyes snapping shut, tears already starting down her perfect cheeks.  
“Should I stop?”  
“No Niall, just do it. Please just do it. It'll be OK. I'll be fine.” she cried. Against my better judgment I did as I was told, sliding in until I was buried all the way inside her. The tightness was overwhelming, the pleasure almost painful. I fought the urge to thrust, knowing I needed to give her time to adjust, and honestly, just laying there, feeling her around me was enough for me. “Whenever you're ready baby just let me know.” I said and she nodded, biting her lip to fight off the pain. I kept my eyes locked on hers. After a minute or two the emotion in her face changed. Her light green eyes grew dark. Her mouth dropped open just slightly. This look on her face wasn't a look of pain anymore. It was pure pleasure. And it was perfect. “Niall.” she moaned softly. I took that as my que to do something. But what? Obviously I knew how this was supposed to go. I knew what I was supposed to do. But I didn't want to just go through the motions. I wanted to make her FEEL good. I pulled out almost all the way and slid slowly back. The sound of her moaning my name encouraged me so I repeated the action again and again. She clenched her walls around me and a spark shot through my whole body.  
“Oh god Stella.” I moaned.  
“Niall, faster.” I did as I was told, slamming my self into her at my new quickened pace, eliciting multiple moans and curses to fall from her lips. My face was nuzzled in her neck, my body pressed against hers, feeling her warm skin all around me as her hips bucked, meeting my thrusts perfectly. I felt her walls tighten again, squeezing me in a way that I couldn't describe.  
“Stella I'm... Oh god... I'm so c-close.” I cried out, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer and I was praying to god that she would go with me.  
“Me to” she moaned in my ear. Her nails dug into my back as she continued to clench around me until I just couldn't hold it anymore. I released myself inside her as I watched her come undone underneath me, moaning my name over and over. I continued to thrust in a sloppy rhythm as we both rode out our highs until my sweaty body collapsed on top of hers, breath coming out in pants, my head resting in the crook of her neck. She ran her fingers through my hair with one hand and the other hand traced my back lightly, her touch making me shiver. We laid like that for a long time, trying to get our breathing under control, before I finally pulled out of her and rolled onto my back, pulling her into me as she nuzzled her face into my sweat covered neck. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I tangled my fingers in her long blonde hair. “I love you Ni.” she whispered against my skin.  
“I love you too Princess.” I whispered back. And to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, we drifted off together into the most peaceful sleep we could possibly imagine.

Stella's POV  
I woke up a few hours later to the sound of Nialls phone ringing loudly. It was still early, the sun hadn't even come out yet. I propped myself up with my hands, gazing down at the gorgeous man next to me. His blonde hair was tousled in the most perfect way and his cheeks were flushed. His head was turned to the side, lips parted slightly, small snores escaping them. I kissed his neck softly, not wanting to wake him, and reached out for his jeans to grab his phone and silence it. A quick glance at the screen told me that it was Harry calling. I pressed the answer button and place the phone to my ear.  
“Hey Harry what's up?” I asked softly.  
“Oh heeeeey Stella.” he said in a cheeky tone that only Harry Styles could ever possess. “Did I interrupt anything?” I rolled my eyes.  
“Yes actually you woke me up from a pretty blissful dream.” He chuckled at my words. “Do you need something?”  
“Not particularly. Just checking in. Liam was a little worried when you guys never came back so I figured I’d call and make sure everything was OK.” he told me.  
“Yeah we're fine. Just fell asleep. We were both kind of exhausted.” I said, not really considering what I was saying.  
“Oh I’m sure you were.” he laughed.  
“Shut up Harry.” I whispered. He just laughed harder for a moment before stopping suddenly and clearing his throat.  
"I'll talk to you later OK. Have fuuuuun” And with that he hung up. I set the phone back down on the blanket as I felt Niall shift beside me. Peering down at him again, I watched as he turned his face towards mine, eyelids fluttering. Before too long I found myself gazing down into drowsy ocean blue eyes. A sleepy, lopsided grin spread across his face as he looked up at me.  
“Princess.” he sighed, pulling me close. I kissed his lips and smiled at him.  
“Hey.”  
“Who were you talking to?” he asked, the husky, sleepy tone in his Irish accent sending shivers down my spine.  
“Just Harry. He was calling to check up on us.” I told him.  
“What time is it?” I picked his phone back up and lit up the screen.  
“Almost 6 in the morning.” I said.  
“mmmmmm The sun should be coming up soon.” He smiled up at me. We pushed ourselves up into a sitting position and began pulling on our clothes quietly. I shivered as I pulled my shirt over my head. It was kind of chilly and I hadn't brought a jacket with me. “Are you cold?” he asked and I nodded. “I'll be right back.” he said, pressing his lips to mine before he jumped up and made his way back to the car. He came back a few minutes later with a dark green hoodie. I pulled it over my head and snuggled into it, immediately smelling his familiar Armani cologne. He sat back down and pulled me into his lap, his arms wrapping around me tightly, pulling a blanket around us. We watched together as the velvety purple sky turned from pink to bright orange as the sun rose over the ocean. It was a picture perfect moment and I couldn't imagine being in anyone elses arms. I turned my head just so I could watch his face as his kept his eyes on the sky. His expressions were always so amazing. The thing that I love the most about Niall is that he is mystified by the simplest things. The way his mouth hung open in amazement and his eyes sparkled as he watched all the colors fade into one another was adorable. He noticed my gaze after awhile and chuckled. “Stell, it's almost over, you should really be watching this. It's gorgeous.” he murmured.  
“I like my view much better.” I said. His eyes met mine for just a second as he smiled at my words, before refocusing on the horizon in front of us. I continued to watch him the whole time. When the sun was finally up and he looked down at me, I pecked him lightly on the lips. “Hey Nialler?” I said softly.  
“Mhm?”  
“Happy birthday.” He pulled back for a second, confusion evident in his big blue eyes, then checked to see the date on his phone.  
“Holy Shit! It's my birthday!” He cried hugging me tightly.  
“You seriously forgot your own birthday Nialler?”  
“I've had other things on my mind.” He blushed deep red as his eyes found the sparkling diamond on my left hand. I rolled my eyes at him.  
“You're such a dork.” I said with a laugh. I hopped out of his lap and held my hand out to him to help him up so we could head back to his flat. Obviously we needed to tell the boys about our good news and I’m sure that they all wanted to wish him a happy birthday. We gathered up all of our stuff and carried it back to the car before getting inside ourselves. He leaned over and kissed me deeply before he started the car, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together.  
“I really don't want to leave.” He whispered in my ear as he pulled away.  
“I know Ni.”


End file.
